This book has been incredibly helpful in understanding my relationship with one of my parents. It's been suggested by a couple of my mental health providers that this person has some kind of a personality disorder (either BPD or NPD) and while they can't be diagnosed without visiting a provider themselves, learning more about these disorders helps me to understand not only that person, but other people in my life and to be able to recognize other's behavior as something that is NOT a reflection of myself. I really enjoyed the writing in this text--it was approachable and easy for me to follow. I would definitely recommend this book to others. It's very useful and insightful.

Thank you to NetGalley and Hachette Books for this e-ARC in exchange for an honest review!
3.5 out of 5 stars.

"You're Not the Problem" by Helen Villiers and Katie McKenna offers valuable insights into navigating life with narcissistic parents, in addition to brief coverage of narcissistic romantic relationships. Despite practical exercises and relatable anecdotes, the book's repetitive diction and storytelling give it the feel of a college dissertation rather than a dynamic self-help guide. The primary focus on parental relationships left me with a desire for a more comprehensive exploration of narcissistic relationships in general. However, the inclusion of real-life experiences, like that of Rebecca, established a relatable connection.

Despite a few drawbacks, the book's exercises stand out as practical tools for self-reflection and healing, making it a resource worth revisiting. The methods mentioned, such as the "Gray Rock Method," add depth to the content, yet there is a lack of notable guidance on their application in everyday life, beyond restating the mantra "you are not the problem." While this may not be the roadmap to healing I expected per the description, "You're Not the Problem" earns a 3.5 out of 5 stars. The book's strength lies in its exercises and relatable stories, offering a valuable resource for individuals dealing with narcissistic parents.

Thank you NetGalley and Hachette Books for this eARC in exchange for an honest review.

I really don't have much to say except that I have read a LOT of books on childhood trauma and narcissistic parents... and this is one of the better ones out there. Definitely worth the read. However, it did miss some of the ways that older children and adults can be living with these trauma responses. Not all children or narcissistic parents are docile people pleasers.