What a fever dream of a book! Very stream of consciousness, very meta, very unhinged. Like nothing I have read before.

This novel follows Norma and is told through her therapy appointments and her short stories she writes. She has gotten a new therapist after having a mental breakdown which has pushed her into a state of trauma induced dissociation that she calls oblivion (a term I am now going to be using). We listen in on her therapy appointments where she describes seeing signs from god, finding reasons to breakup with her girlfriend, and going on rants that are 1/2 crazy and 1/2 true. It is like sitting next the weirdo on the bus and getting stuck in an oddly spiritual conversation. Very interesting experience and shockingly funny at times!

It does get more and more serious and easier to distinguish the actual plot as time goes on. And in the end we get a beautiful story about love, healing, and patience.

The author has a lot of interesting tactics with her writing. The lack of quotations, the random capitalizations, the characters which are named vs not named. I loved this but also felt like there may be some deeper meanings behind these decisions I’m too dense to understand… who knows? But you may have a good time cracking the codes if literary analysis is your thing? If not (like me) it is still an enjoyable story told in a unique way.

Lastly have to shout out the beautiful cover! Was definitely a big factor in deciding to read this book and I’m glad I was not duped by a pretty cover, there was an equally pretty story within.

Please Stop Trying to Leave Me by Alana Saab is a breathtaking debut that expertly balances dark humor, mental health struggles, and the complexities of love and identity. Saab’s writing pulls you into the fragmented, stream-of-consciousness world of Norma, a protagonist grappling with depersonalization/derealization disorder. The blend of her therapy sessions and excerpts from her unfinished manuscript creates a unique narrative structure that mirrors her unraveling mind, making for an engrossing, emotionally charged read.

Norma's journey is as heart-wrenching as it is relatable, touching on themes of trauma, queerness, family, and the blurred lines between fiction and reality. Saab's portrayal of mental health feels raw and unflinching, yet there are moments of unexpected humor that lighten the weight of the subject matter. The book explores not just survival, but how one rebuilds after emotional devastation, with the relationships—especially Norma's with her girlfriend—anchoring the story in love and vulnerability.

This novel will resonate deeply with anyone who has ever felt disconnected from themselves or the world around them, offering both a mirror and a hand to hold. Saab’s voice is fresh, bold, and unforgettable—this is a book that will stay with you long after you turn the last page.

Highly recommended for fans of experimental, queer, and literary fiction, especially those who appreciate stories that challenge the boundaries between sanity and chaos, love and loss.

Thank you to Vintage and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I'm all for unlikable women protagonists but at nearly 40% into this book the protagonist was still going around in the same circles with monologues that went nowhere thrown in here and there.

I didn't finish this book because it felt chaotic, overwhelming, and disjointed. What I expected to be a meaningful exploration of depression turned into an overly existential, tangential narrative that tried to tackle too many big issues at once, from politics to climate change, making it hard to follow or connect with. The stream-of-consciousness writing style felt messy, and the characters were difficult to relate to. Ultimately, it didn’t resonate with me and left me frustrated rather than engaged.

If I were to even try to explain this book to you I don’t think I would be doing it justice.

I knew from the minute I saw the cover and the synopsis that this was going to be a favorite for me. I love to read books about characters that are deeply complex and frankly, weird. I love weird. Those are my people. And while I absolutely LOVED this one and already know a few people I am going to immediately recommend it to, it’s definitely not for everyone.

This story is about Norma and is told primarily through her stream of consciousness, therapy sessions, and short stories. It can definitely be confusing at times, and very dark, and also some of the middle dragged a bit, but the ending made it all worth it. I really don’t think I will ever forget Norma, or her story, and that is exactly why I read.

This is probably one of the most unique stories I have read. I can’t believe it’s a debut.

Read this one if you like weird character with darkness and light that make you examine your whole existence.

I wanted to like this book. I was really excited to read something a bit different, but the writing style just wasn't for me. I might return to this book in a few months or years and see if I'm in a better mindset to finish it.

This will definitely not be for everyone and almost was not for me. Its a weird fever dream of a book but there were elements I was able to connect with, and others that lost me.

This was such a beautiful and special take on mental health rep, and I loved every minute of it. The timelines of going back into the past of the female main character and how it’s affected her future was amazing. I’m still thinking about this book to today.

DNF @ 52%

I am very sad to say that I couldn’t get through this book. It felt very hopeless (don’t get me wrong, I know that’s a big aspect for this book) and the writing/story didn’t feel engaging enough to truck through all the doom. I also might not be the right audience as I specifically stay off certain apps to not doomscroll. In a way, this felt like a different version of doomscrolling. This one just felt a little too sad and repetitive. I also didn’t care to read Norma’s actual manuscript which felt like it dragged the storyline down even more.

On the bright side, Saab’s writing made me feel connected to the character/ made her situation very relatable. I think in 10 years this would be interesting to look back on how people coped during our continuous history-making moments, but right now it just feels like watching the news/world burn instead of enjoying my free time.

Thank you to NetGalley and Vintage for an eARC in exchange for an honest review!

thank you netgalley for the arc!!

this is a weird book about weird things. if you like weird books and are willing to confront dark topics in ways that arent quite humorous but certainly aren’t reverent, this is the book for you! as other reviews mention it is written in a very stream of consciousness style, but i would say it definitely works for the book. the ending makes sense but also doesn’t, but it’s in a litfic way and not a bad writing way don’t worry!

i would recommend this book for sure, but it will not be for everyone :)

I’ll confess - this cover pulled me right in and I thought the premise sounded good. Unfortunately the execution didn’t work for me and I decided to DNF. Thank you to the publisher for the free book to review.

Thank you to NetGalley for the arc of this wonderful book!

Please Stop Trying to Leave Me by Alana Saab is a mesmerizing and thought-provoking novel that dives deep into the psyche of its protagonist, Norma. The story is a raw and candid exploration of mental health, queer identity, and the relentless pursuit of creative fulfillment.

Norma is a struggling writer who finds herself at a crossroads, both personally and professionally. Her life takes a tumultuous turn when she begins seeing signs from God through Instagram and Spotify, instructing her to break up with her girlfriend. Desperate to finish her manuscript, Norma seeks help from a new therapist who diagnoses her with depersonalization/derealization disorder. However, Norma dismisses this diagnosis, believing her experiences to be part of a larger existential crisis she refers to as "Oblivion."

As Norma's therapy sessions progress, she shares her unfinished manuscript with her therapist, hoping to untangle the dissociative threads of her life. Her narrative oscillates between her chaotic stream of consciousness and the fictional world she’s creating, blurring the lines between reality and fiction. This unique narrative style captures the reader's attention, making them question the nature of reality alongside Norma.

Norma's relationship with her girlfriend is central to the story. Her girlfriend, described as having a "crack of light in her eyes," becomes both a source of comfort and a point of contention. Norma grapples with the idea that her girlfriend might be the antagonist in her life story, causing her to question the authenticity of their relationship and whether she must leave her to complete her manuscript.

The novel is filled with moments of dark humor and profound introspection, offering a candid look at the challenges of living with a mental health disorder. Saab's portrayal of Norma's inner turmoil is both heartbreaking and relatable, making the reader empathize with her struggle to find stability and meaning in a seemingly chaotic world.

Spoiler Alert: As the story unfolds, Norma's quest for clarity and creative completion leads her to some startling revelations about herself and her relationships. The climax sees Norma coming to terms with her mental health and the importance of self-acceptance. The resolution is bittersweet, leaving the reader with a sense of hope and a deeper understanding of the complexities of the human mind.

In conclusion, Please Stop Trying to Leave Me is an evocative and compelling debut that explores the intricacies of mental illness, love, and the creative process. Alana Saab's innovative storytelling and deeply personal themes make this novel a must-read for anyone interested in a candid and humorous exploration of the human condition.

This is aa very SOFT dnf. I really like the stream of conciousness type writing. However, it is extremely difficult to get into because of the lack of quotation marks. It is very "Rooney" of the author but it fails here for me at the moment.

Thank you Netgalley and Alana Saab for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

It pains me to say but I did not enjoy this book at all. I the synopsis sounded promising but it didn’t deliver. To start there is 0 quotation marks which I hate. At times it was hard to know who was speaking and it kept jumping from topic to topic.

Norma was such a complex character and it was sad to see how mental health affected her but it was hard to understand what was real or from her writings. I lean more to it being real experiences. Norma was funny when she brought up little facts or had quick one liners.

However the random quote about donald trump and her dad’s comments about her nipples were disgusting. Again this hopped all over the place and the rape scene came out of left field but was so glossed over. I really wanted to love this but it fell short for me.

Lastly If I never have to hear the word oblivion again I will be a happy girl.

Norma gets a girlfriend. Norma has a breakdown. Norma gets a new therapist.

4.5 stars. I really, really liked this one. This original and impressively constructed debut is exactly what I want out of current fiction. Saab's writing takes on a life of its own and kept me glued to every paragraph.

I loved the creative and, I'd argue, meta way this book played out and played with reality. This one is not going to fade in my mind anytime soon. It continually struck a satisfying balance between serious and hilarious. I really, really wanted to know how the story ends.

Add this one to your library. My many thanks to NetGalley and Vintage for the digital review copy.

Thank you to Netgalley & the publisher for this arc copy.

I do not feel as though I can give this a rating. For some reason the story just felt very personal, and for that reason I would not feel comfortable rating it. If you enjoy reading about queer horror, but more along the lines of being disconnected from reality and finding yourself, then I do think that it is worth checking out.

Thank you for this ARC!

Getting used to the stream of consciousness, type of writing style was very interesting. I really had to pay attention to the words on the page for me to follow the storyline and peace together the narrative, the writing itself to the subject matter I would say it is a book that isn’t for everyone, but I did enjoy reading it

DNF @10% in. Definitely not the writing style for me. Stream of consciousness is so hard to nail and I just find that it doesn't allow me to feel connected to the characters in the way I want

Wow!
✨Rating 4:5 ✨
Simply amazed at how intriguing this story is ! The book takes you on the ongoing mental struggle Norma is facing . The author uses different POVs in the story and I have to admit I was having difficulty , but this tactic really added more depth to the story.

This book I had to put down , not because I didn’t want to finish it but because it was making me question my own thoughts. It felt like I was watching a movie where you have to Google the meaning for every scene ! The author forces you to make predictions as you go . The therapist silence definitely makes the reader uncomfortable.

Norma is all of us and she’s easy to connect with due to all the things she is battling! I personally loved her dialogue because it’s very raw and humorous even .

This was a must read ! Thank you for the opportunity and I am looking forward to reading more from Alana Saab.💕

This one just wasn't right for me. At best it was some mildly interesting stream of consciousness crafting narrative, and at worst it was indulgent and triggering in the most distasteful ways. Your mileage may vary based on how much you identify with the narrator POV but personally I was turned off very quickly.