This is a tough one to review. On the one hand it's a very quiet and heartbreaking story about the end of a marriage, which kind of sneaks up on you. But on the other hand, it's hard not to take sides and see where/how/why I feel like it all went to hell. Honestly, marriage is hard and parenting is hard. They both require a lot of work and compromise. It's so easy to fall into a vicious cycle of feeling like a victim or feeling like you're overlooked and/or not considered and having that lead to resentment between a couple.

Set in Sweden, The Divorce is the story of the downfall of the marriage of Bea and Niklas. Narrated by both characters, both perspectives are harrowing and painful. Moa Herngren beautifully captures the complicated psychological underpinnings of falling away from the love and work that fuel relationships. She writes with insight and empathy. I loved experiencing the Swedish culture. The Divorce was an engaging and thought provoking read for me and I recommend it to readers who look for intelligent dynamics of intimacy and relationships. Thanks to Netgalley and publisher for the opportunity to read this advanced copy of The Divorce. .

Bea and Niklas have been married for years, seemingly happy together, when an argument leads to the end of their marriage. The story is told first from Bea's perspective of Niklas blindsiding her by deciding not to come home and then from Niklas's perspective of everything that led up to it. The final part is the aftermath of the separation. I had this downloaded for ages but kept putting off reading it because I thought it might be depressing (I think because sometimes being married for a long time really does feel like you might be one argument away from divorce even when things are good). I ended up getting hooked as soon as I started reading. In the end, I didn't love it, but I thought it was a really interesting look at the whole issue from two sides and being able to see where both people were at fault in very different ways. 3 stars.

I absolutely loved reading about this marriage. The ins and outs, good and bad, everything was fascinating. I loved the writing, couldn't get enough of the characters, everything about this was so immersive for me.

I had a very hard time getting through this book because the characters were so self-absorbed that I could not connect with the story.

Well written, thought provoking book that is masterfully translated. It realistically chronicles one woman’s journey as she tries to navigate the huge changes brought about when she is blindsided by her husband’s affair and subsequent divorce.

📚: The Divorce by Moa Herngren (Translated by Alice Menzies)
⭐️: 3.5/5 (rounding up on #goodreads)

The gist: Bea & Niklas. Married for 32 years. And they find their marriage fallen apart during the course of one summer in Stockholm.

The good: This book is raw in portraying heartbreak and family drama. I enjoyed the attempt at the dual POV to show both sides of this marriage’s demise - although it never felt quite like part 2 gave enough additional insight.

The eh: Without spoiling, a lot of the events in part 3 drove me absolutely crazy. A few substantial storyline twists came with a lot of potential to go deeper and they didn’t. This is heavy on family drama, but by the end, feels hollow.

Thank you to @harperviabooks via @netgalley for the digital ARC in exchange for an honest review. The Divorce is out now.

Thank you to @netgalley for the advance copy.

Bea and Niklas have been married for 32 years with twin teen daughters. Niklas is a Doctor and Bea works for the Red Cross. With his hours, home life and organization has been taken by Bea.
So it is a surprise with Niklas says he needs time apart. Bea feels that she does everything, but Niklas needs time?
This book is told in Bea’s and Niklas’ voices. We get to feel Bea’s despair as her life slips away from her almost inexplicably and we get to understand why Niklas is feeling the way he does and we learn when this feeling began and the catapulting straw that broke the camels back.
As a reader, I could see both sides, and was riveted to see if there would be a reconciliation.
Reader’s note, this takes place in Sweden, so there were some locations that I did not know how to pronounce.

The Divorce by Moa Herngren is translated from Swedish by Alice Menzies. Bea and Niklas have been together for over 30 years. One day, after a trivial argument, Niklas leaves the house and says he’s not coming back. This seemingly small disagreement triggers the dissolution of their decades-long marriage. Bea is destabilized and Niklas feels like he can finally breathe. And as readers we get one third of the book told from Bea’s perspective, and one third told from Niklas’ in a compelling, but simply written, story that explores the marital split from both sides. Addictively readable and thought provoking, this would be an excellent book club pick.

Side note: the author is one of the writers for the Swedish Netflix show Bonus Family (a personal fave) and I can easily see this one being adapted for the screen too.

The Divorce by Moa Herngren is an extremely well written family drama. This book provides such a unique, interesting perspective. READ THIS!!!!

Thank you NetGalley & HarperVia an ARC copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

Now that this book is over, I find myself questioning why I finished. Divorce is hard, ugly, and can be traumatic when children are involved. I can attest to that coming from divorced parents and divorced in-laws.

Niklas and Bea are both very flawed characters and need therapy. Alexia and Alma are normal teenagers just trying to understand their new life. Maria is a homewrecker who knew exactly what she was doing.

Aside from taking us through the divorce, there isn't much that happens in this novel. It would have been different if the main characters had worked on themselves and had shown growth as humans, but that just doesn't happen, imo.

Thank you to Netgalley and HarperCollins for this arc. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

The Divorce is about the literal divorce between our two main characters Bea and Niklas, who have been together for decades and have two teenaged daughters. Overall I enjoyed this character driven novel. I thought that it lacked some nuance for most of the book, clearly setting up Bea to be the “bad guy” but the last few chapters achieved more of a balance. I enjoyed the exploration of divorce’s effects on an entire family and the themes of identity, family, and finding one’s self in middle age (in not quite the “midlife crisis” cliche).

The Divorce is a sad book.
I thought Niklas was a jerk and the narrative made Bea out to look like the bad person because she wasn’t coping well with the separation and her entire world turning upside down.
The defection of family and even her daughter was just supposed to be accepted by Bea to have time to process it.

This book broke my heart. It felt so real and raw. I was mentally exhausted every time I put it down. It shows both sides of a couple going through a divorce and how it can also affect all the loved ones in their lives. It might hit different for someone younger or who has not been through 20+ years of marriage like myself. I thought it was well written/translated. Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this advanced reader’s copy.

I think writing about divorce is hard. It’s really hard to convey all the feelings in words. I felt that this story was very boring. It lacked passion and from the beginning, I knew Bea was going to be the issue. There was never really any proof to how they ever made it 30 years to begin with. Their relationship seemed surface level. 3 stars because I would choose to read it again but I didn’t feel the emotion that I expect a book about divorce to evoke.

THE DIVORCE
BY: MOA HERNGREN

I would like to say a huge thank you to the Publisher, HarperVia, for making this very realistic, spectacular story about the end of a marriage of thirty-two years available for the English speaking demographic. What initially attracted me to want to read about a heavy, and sad story about Bea and Niklas, who are both in their fifties experiencing a disintegrating marriage was that it is a Swedish translation. I have always loved to read Scandinavian novels, and when I saw that the title was called, The Divorce taking place in Stockholm, Sweden I requested my ARC from Net Galley, and was so grateful for the chance to read a domestic family drama. A subject such as divorce taking place, isn't my normal topic, but I've read three novels in the last couple of months where I wasn't sure whether or not it would actually happen. I do like literary fiction with contemporary realism of long term relationships, and this was both cleverly written and translated. It gave me a glimpse into a foreign culture with a chance to see if the reasons for a divorce potentially happening, or not in a different culture are universal.

I have one more about a long term marriage which I chose only because I had some familiar experience a couple of decades ago with the author. I would love to have the honor and privilege of reading more of this talented author's other work, so I will definitely keep looking, to see if there are other previous work by this author is available, since the writing in this one is well above average. I must also applaud the translator who did such an excellent job in my positive reading experience by seamlessly making this so accessible and smooth.

There are usually two sides to every story I believe. This philosophy is carefully explored in the brilliant underscoring of the structured focus this talented author has illuminated into this story. I personally believe in not tossing by the wayside a long history of a lifetime of experiences with someone who you have built a life with, and share the wonders of having both brought children into this world with. I would much rather know that every possible avenue has been examined to not break apart a family. I know that the way that I have more understanding towards Niklas's actions makes me sound like I'm an advocate for choosing divorce, rather than trying to fix what went wrong in the marriage. I would want to choose to save the marriage and keep the family in tact all day long.
What if your spouse has been unfairly giving in to keep the peace and hasn't given you any indication that they are considering divorce, and you are not able to convince your partner to change their mind?
I really and sincerely believe that I took my marriage vows seriously, and believe that I would be willing to correct any behavior that contributed to my spouse being so unhappy that there's no changing my partner's mind. Just because I think that I believed in those vows that go something like: For better or worse, or in good times and bad times, doesn't guarantee that my spouse feels the same way. Why I love this novel so much is because it holds up the mirror to how life isn't always fair. What if you're not someone who is a quitter, but your spouse has slowly given up on growing old together, and doesn't share the same strong feelings about marriage being a life long commitment? What do you do if your spouse has not communicated to you how unhappy they are and blindsides you by simply walking out the door, and makes the decision to pursue happiness by ending the marriage?
The decision is beyond your control since usually the one who makes the decision to give up, has most likely already emotionally abandoned your union before leaving physically. I know that from having dated and being involved in long term relationships before I got married that has been the same length of time as the couple featured in this novel, coincidentally. That it takes two people who share common values, core beliefs, such as honesty, communication, and common interests that make my marriage get stronger with each passing year. It takes liking your spouse and before even considering marriage taking the time to get to know each other to learn whether or not both people are compatible. It takes both people willing to compromise, and both people willing to make sacrifices towards the differences that arise. Both people must be two whole people, who are more comfortable with being alone rather than one or both people needing the relationship to complete them. Getting involved for the right reasons in the first place, unlike Bea and Niklas in my opinion are what has made my marriage thrive, and never taking each other for granted which Bea did.

Is the person who decides to end a marriage by making a unilateral decision at fault?

As sad as it is my opinion has changed regarding divorce, after reading this. I think that if you took a vow when getting married, that two people owe it to each other to try to make divorce a last resort especially if there are under aged children involved, unless there is abuse involved. It's got to be hard and extremely painful for the person being left. My heart sympathized with Bea wanting to fix and repair her marriage with Niklas. I won't give spoilers totally ruining it for those who are considering reading this, but there is a tragic event that happens that is the catalyst for the two of them getting romantically involved. They both got together from the beginning that was not a healthy reason to build a foundation for their choice of picking a compatible partner, regardless of good intentions that the author slowly reveals. Also, anybody has the right to terminate a relationship if they're unhappy, and there are never any guarantees that just because you have been together for years, whether dating, or in a committed long term relationship, or married that both persons remain if they aren't happy. It would be more honorable if you have heard your partner complain about what you're doing that are contributing reasons why they are unhappy and they warn you that they will leave if things don't improve.

The way this book is written, it begins from Bea's, point of view and I felt really bad for her until I reached the section from Niklas's point of view and my allegiance changed towards understanding why he handled things the way he did. I felt sorry for him for putting up with her dismissive attitude for as long as he did. She definitely was verbally abusive and always had to have things her way. I went back to the beginning and I reread about 10 percent and I don't know how I totally missed her undermining him constantly. She had criticized him within the first few pages and she made demands instead of communicating by building bridges between them towards compromise. He worked hard and long hours towards getting out of deeper debt to support her luxurious lifestyle as a doctor at a job that he no longer enjoyed. When she was inconvenienced because he forgot to book the passage tickets for the ferry, to go visit his parents, who were her in-laws to be pampered by them at their beach property she was full of anger and contempt.

The more that I read, I could see how they got to the place of him making the decision he did for a multitude of reasons. He was too miserable to continue living just to please her and his parents. He could never go running after a long shift at work which was overwhelming because of a staffing shortage. As a doctor, his job was already highly stressful, with his having to make choices that his patients lives or death were at stake, and he took that responsibility seriously. He would need to spend a quiet evening at home, or take a break from spending every summer vacation at his parents fixing things around their home, but Bea ignored his needs. Additionally, his mother would keep him working by expecting him to give free doctor services to the whole community, while he needed a vacation to rest and relax. He never got to decide whether they went on a vacation someplace different, Bea would talk him out of it, because she preferred visiting his parents where she would benefit and she would justify it by saying their sixteen year old twins would miss out from visiting with their cousins. Whenever he wanted to unwind, and decompress after going through a tough day at work, Bea would insist that they go out and celebrate a special occasion. He would tell her he needed a quiet evening at home, she wouldn't ever compromise which led to him catering to Bea's plans. She wouldn't take responsibility for running him ragged with things she wanted him to do that was for her benefit, planning all his free time with obligations that satisfied her desire. After seeing his never getting a break without constant guilt trips from her manipulations I could see why he handled things the way he did. I did empathize with her, but their sixteen year old twins were affected by her crossing boundaries. We think because our children seem quiet and content, when in reality they suffer silently, from taking in everything that goes on in their surroundings. He was under a tremendous amount of stress from his job and her unwillingness to see how her anger and blaming him led to him needing a break.

It was fair that this author presented this couples predicament from both Bea's and Niklas's point of view, which gave an evenhanded account by including both sides of the story.
After reading this, I think that if it's always the same spouse making all of the sacrifices, and only one of the two partners aren't curious about the other's feelings by trying to gain each others perspective over three decades, it's inevitable that the one always doing the giving is going to reach a point where they might want to choose to finally make a change to not keep being taking advantage of. There is hope to be found within this story. I think that this novel would be an excellent choice for book clubs to discuss. I loved it, even though it's at times hard to read. It was compelling and one I won't soon forget.

Publication Date: August 6, 2024

Thank you to Net Galley, Moa Herngren and HarperVia Publishing for generously providing me with my wonderful ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review. All opinions are my own.

#TheDivorce #MoaHerngren #HarperViaPublishing #NetGalley

Thank you NetGalley and Harpervia for an early copy of The Divorce. This was a WOW book!!! I felt for both of them, intense feelings I had. It was written really well and truthful invoking emotions that have been long buried. I can see both of their points but seeing the marriage unravel was at times very sad. This book will stay with me for a long time, a bit of a reality that can happen to any marriage and surrounding family.

I really enjoyed this book. It kept me engaged and it only took a few days to read. I think this is going to be a good book club option for several clubs. I plan recommending to my book friends and I look forward to reading more by this author.

I enjoyed the duel points of view in this book, it's true that there's two sides to every story and this one did a nice job of showing that. Although the story was a bit depressing, it was OK given the theme/storyline of the book - a divorce shouldn't be a happy read. Very interesting and would recommend.

Bea and Niklas have been togehter for over thirty years. Bea was looking forward to her family's summer vacation, but Niklas forgot to pay for the tickets. Much to Bea's surprise, Niklas does not come home and eventually asks for a separation. I appreciated the stucture of this book, first telling Bea's side of the story, then Niklas's. The third section alternates between the two. The author did a good job showing both perspectives and developing the charachters. I was frustrated with both Bea and Niklas at different points in the book, but it led to a better understanding of them.