This book was a beautiful story of love, divorce, and how to love others in your life well while also loving yourself. The intricacy of the relationships made this story so much more than a simply story about divorce. This made me look at divorce from such a deeper, more insightful perspective as opposed to someone looking from the outside in. This book is the epitome of the quote, “this is your parents first time living too.” Such an enjoyable and and inspiring read on life, love, and how to love.

Thank you so much to Random House Publishing Group for an early ARC through NetGalley!

This book was so heartbreakingly beautiful. I will admit it took a little bit for me to get into the story and connect with the two main characters but once I did, I couldn’t put it down. The story between Danny and Alex is beautiful and heartbreaking and everything in between. This was so well written, and I wish I could jump back into this world.

I loved this book until i got to the 92% mark. I loved both main characters so much and was rooting for them the entire time. The ending was something I truly hated and wish it ended differently. This went from being a 5 star book to a 3.75.

It’s so hard to read these books where marriage is in turmoil. They just tug at my heart! Renee Carlino has this ability to break your heart and put it back together and I’m excited every time she has a new book coming out.

The book starts off with a couple blissfully in love and you can’t imagine how things could possible go so far off the rails. What was really beautiful was watching them find their way back to one another.

As per Renee Carlino’s typical fashion, things do flip on their heads and will surprise you.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for this ARC!

This Used To Be Us
🗓️ 07/09/2024

Apparently @reneecarlino1 is known for gut wrenching reads and this one is no different.
Alex and Danielle’s story is about falling in love. Believing you will spend the rest of your life with that one person. Falling out of love and finding yourself while falling in love again. I think every married couple can relate to scenarios in this book. No marriage is perfect. Similar to After I do by Taylor Jenkins Reid, this book makes you think.

Read if you like:
•Mature Romances. Both main characters over 40.
•Dual Perspectives. There is always two sides to every story.
•Second Chances
•If you need a good cry

Thank you @netgalley and @random for an early release copy in exchange for an honest review.

#thisusedtobeus #netgalley #randomhousepublishing #netgalleyreview #eARC #kindlereads #newrelease #reneecarlino #bookstagram

I loved Before We Were Strangers so I was thrilled to open This Used to Be Us by Renée Carlino.
This book had me feeling all kinds of emotions...it totally captivated me.
Read this in one sitting, simply unputdownable!

Thank You NetGalley and Random House | Dial Press Trade for your generosity and gifting me a copy of this amazing eARC!

I absolutely loved this story!! This Used To Be Us is a story about two people who fell in love but over the course of twenty years the love is lost, needs rekindling to the fire. Dani and Alex’s story felt so raw, real, relatable. Married for over twenty years, kids and suddenly divorce. It’s heartbreaking, but a chance for second chance love. A chance of finding yourself again, a chance at second chances, life after divorce. I really enjoyed being able to have dual perspective on this. We get both Alex and Dani’s point of view while going through this divorce and how each other perceives the situation. There is always two sides to every story. Renee Carolino gets me every time with these emotional stories.

How in the world do you explain that a story mainly focused on a couple’s divorce is a deeply moving love story? That even if divorce isn’t part of your own story, so many of their hardest seasons, both individually and those shared as a couple, felt so relatable and familiar? As we navigate the dissolution of their marriage, we are learning of their love story. Slowly the hardest parts of their lives are revealed to us, and it’s easy (as a reader) to see where the anger, bitterness, and distance begin. But again, we still very much feel their love for one another because maybe after 22 years, even your anger, frustrations, and (sometimes) hate, are mixed up with the love.

A couple of things I couldn’t stop thinking about while reading-

After 22 years and 2 children, there is undoubtedly a comfort and deep level of shared intimacy. There is a scene where after a hard parenting night, their family ends up in the apartment where they take turns on their “off days”. When Alex takes the couch and Dani takes the bed, using his shirt to sleep in and then deciding sheets don’t have to be washed every 3 days, I couldn’t easily get past all that I felt was happening in those two gestures. The awareness of their shared comfort and history in these simple moments said so much. I just kept thinking of how incredibly difficult it would be to have so much shared history, and then have to navigate how to live outside of that.

I also couldn’t stop thinking about the really hard things we experience in the lifetime of a marriage. How we each process, cope, and mourn differently and how those events change us. Even without divorce being part of my own story, these shared experiences were so incredibly related and understandable, that it left my emotions raw.

To discuss too much would inevitably lead to spoilers. Just know it’s more than divorce even if the majority revolves around it. It’s all the good, bad and hard parts of life. One of those books that falls into the category of “this book destroyed me, you should absolutely read it!”

All the stars for this very emotional read. Renee Carlino is a new author to me and I'm excited to read more from her. This one hit all star marks for me including making me sob my eyes out at the end. Thank you to my friend Lauren for the emotional therapy.

This is a true testament to losing and finding yourself, second chances and falling back in love. This is not only an emotional read, but makes you think and evaluate your own marriage/relationship. What's important and what's not - Appreciating your life and who's by your side.

I truly fell in love with these well developed and mature characters and was fully supporting their journey apart and together. Their relationship was so relatable, raw and real. Just be forewarned that there are some emotional twists that rocked me to my core and left me a blubbery mess. You'll want some tissues handy.

This Used to Be Us by Renée Carlino [Random House #NetGalley]

Renée Carlino always makes me cry with her stories. This Used to Be Us was a true Renée Carlino story - it was emotional, real, heartbreaking, joyous, and completely soul-shattering. And that's all that I can say about this book because just thinking about it is going to break my heart all over again.

Once again, I’m reminded of how much I love Renee Carlino’s writing. The story had me giggling, groaning in frustration, and crying. I’m sad to say this is the first RC book I’m not giving 5/5.

Alex frustrated me multiple times throughout the divorce. I think he grew tremendously as a single father but as for a single man at his age, I expected more maturity from him.

The ending twist was too abrupt for me. Without spoiling anything, I prefer those kind of plots to be given more time and chapters. However, I could see how things possibly lead up to it, if you paid attention to the hints, but personally, I’m not for gut wrenching twists so close to the end. I did think the final page was beautiful.

All things considered, that was not enough to take away a full star. The rating and all the stars go to Dani. It was her story that I was invested in and that made me love this story as much as she loves and cares for her family, friends, and life.

P.S. I’m invested in Yours and Mine, would love to see RC write that next!!


4.5/5 ⭐️

Danielle and Alex were happily married for 22 years, until they weren't. While going through the process of divorce, Danielle and Alex decide to share a nesting apartment so that their two boys don't have to leave their family home. While in the apartment, they each have silent downtime for the first time in a long time. They each use that time to reflect on their lives thus far and focus on their careers and personal lives. Once settled in their new lives, they each can't seem to shake memories of the past. How did their love story go so horribly wrong?
Review:
4.5 stars
The way I jumped up and down when I got approved for this ARC!!! This was my third Renee Carlino book and I just love her writing and characters so much!! 3/3 of the books I have read by her have made me cry!
This was not your typical love story, but I loved that! It was a love story in reverse. This is another story where the characters are far from perfect. They make mistakes (big ones), they make you laugh, and make you mad. But, they are relatable and that's what makes me love them!
Even though the ending made me cry, I was not a huge fan of it. It came out of no where and definitely was not a happy ending, but it was a "life doesn't always work out the way you picture it" moment. And that is realistic and life.
This read definitely reminded me why I love Renee's writing so much and that I need to pick up some of her backlist books immediately!!
This Used to Be Us publishes on 7/9 and I highly recommend picking this one up! You won't want to miss it!
Thank you to NetGalley, Renee Carlino, and Random House Publishing Group for this ARC of This Used to Be Us in exchange for an honest review!

This book dives deep into the reality of love and marriage when life gets messy with responsibilities like raising kids and facing adult challenges. It's an emotional rollercoaster following Dani and Alex as they navigate divorce after more than two decades together, trying to co-parent their sons while figuring out life apart. The music references throughout added a powerful layer, evoking memories and emotions that resonate with anyone who loves music. Overall, this poignant story about love, loss, and moving forward will stick with you long after you finish reading.

Renee always knows just how to rip my heart out. This book was so beautifully written and drew me in right from the beginning.
I loved Dani and Alex being deeply flawed and them learning about themselves

"This Used To Be Us" by Renee Carlino is a raw and poignant exploration of marriage, communication, and personal growth. The journey through Dani and Alex's tumultuous relationship took me on an emotional rollercoaster, from frustration with their constant bickering to deep empathy as they navigated their individual paths of self-discovery.

At first, I found myself exasperated by the endless arguments and misunderstandings between Dani and Alex. The realism of their struggles, however, soon became its own testament to Carlino's ability to portray the complexities of married life. It's not always pretty, but it's undeniably real.

What truly struck me were the moments of profound introspection and growth that both characters experienced during their separation. As they grappled with their pain and regrets, Carlino skillfully wove in Dani's poignant method of recording memories on record sleeves, showing how music became a soundtrack to their love story.

This novel is not an easy read—it digs deep into the messiness of relationships and doesn't shy away from the emotional turmoil that comes with it. Yet, amidst the heartache, there is also hope and a profound sense of love that transcends their hardships.

"This Used To Be Us" is a book that will make you feel. It's raw, it's emotional, and it's a powerful reminder of the resilience of the human heart. Renee Carlino has crafted a story that lingers, beautifully showing that even amidst pain and misunderstanding, love has the capacity to endure and evolve.

Thank you to NetGalley and Dial Press Publishing for an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I think this is the most relatable and realistic book I have read in a long time. There are so book you read and you just want to tell the character(s) to suck it up or the reason for fighting are insignificant. This is not the case for this book. The fights are not trivial and mundane for the characters. You are rooking for the characters to get back together but you also see the ugly, true human parts of them too.

I think how it ended was beautiful. The only things I would have loved to see is to be able to see into the future of Alex’s and the boys’ lives and see how they were 10 years from Dani’s death.

When I saw that Renée Carlino had a new book releasing this year, I immediately added it to my must-read list. I didn’t need to know what it was going to be about, I just new that I had to read it. I had been hoping for a new book from her, but I am a patient reader, and let me tell you, it was well worth the wait.

As soon as I began reading This Used to Be Us, I knew that it was going to be a winner. Dani and Alex had a wonderful, romantic relationship, a beautiful family, and a promising life together. Sounds idyllic, doesn’t it? It was a lovely relationship, but this is where Carlino shines, she isn’t afraid to give her readers an honest depiction of married life, complete with the happy moments as well as the difficult ones. Sometimes a couple can make it, sometimes they are mature enough to realize that the relationship has run its course.

Of course, from the synopsis alone, you are aware that this couple is getting divorced. We witnessed how much they annoyed each other, how they lived together but still apart, and how what they once might have found endearing about each other was now something that just got under their skin. What I really loved, though, was how Carlino also showed us how they fell in love. She showed us their quirks, their intense attraction, and their overall respect for one another. It wasn’t always bad, they had many memorable, good times. They had been absolutely lovely together, until they weren’t.

This novel just hit me right in the pit of my stomach. I fully expected it to. For twenty-two years they had built a life together, but they just couldn’t make it. Trying to navigate their new lives apart, but still co-parenting and swapping an apartment every few days so as not to uproot their sons’ lives was definitely a lot to get used to. After they were Dani & Alex for so long, it was time to rediscover just who they were as individuals again.

This novel punched me right in the gut, repeatedly. There was never a moment where I felt anything other than fully invested in this couple. I was all-in, one hundred percent on this journey with them. It was an all-consuming, beautiful, heartbreaking, and emotional journey. This Used to Be Us is a mature, honest, realistic romance novel that just cements why this author is one of my favorites.


*5 Stars

Carlino has done it again. She has a way of tapping into your emotions as you watch these characters develop both with other characters as well as their inner selves. In the relatable story, A marriage starts to fall apart as two people grow their separate ways, but just like life circumstances are never predictable neither is the ending of this book. So many highlightable lines and emotional tugs that this read is sure to keep readers turning pages and yearning for more.

THIS USED TO BE US
BY: RENEE CARLINO

This was a brand new author for me to explore that I had never heard of before. Apparently Renee Carlino has written thirteen books so that explains why she has crafted such a convincing cautionary tale in her latest offering called, This Used to Be Us. Newly married couples can learn from this heartbreaking work of what not to do if you want your marriage to thrive and stay healthy. In the very beginning this talented author paints a portrait with language of this couple newly enamored with each other before they say those three words that informs one another that their relationship is most likely going to lead to committed union. She introduced her two main characters Danielle and Alexander experiencing the bliss that is sometimes blinding from seeing red flags since both of their brains are releasing those love chemicals of Oxytocin. That stage usually lasts about a year but sometimes can continue for two. They both are under that magic spell that we all experience when we feel that we have found that special person that we are meant to settle down with sharing a lifetime together. It doesn't prepare us that the honeymoon phase often wears off which is the case with Danielle and Alexander.

The format in this touching and moving novel alternates chapters between Danielle and Alexander and quickly jumps forward to the present time period when these two have been married for twenty two years. At this point they are both unhappy and fall into the trap of blaming one another instead of looking inward to examine their selves and how their own toxic behavior has lead them to not want stay married. I was surprised that they were still married when I read how Danielle had been sleeping in the guest bedroom instead of the marital bed for three years. The way they communicated towards each other was so full of vitriol it gave me a headache. I could tell that they must have continued to blame one another for their unhappy state was due to a lack of looking at their own behavior and how it contributed towards the break down of their relationship. This was uncomfortable for me to read especially their cruel dialogue which was a constant attack on each other's character. Their lack of maturity towards self awareness at ceasing totally in taking responsibility for their own negative styles of communication included constant criticism towards each other full of contempt. They had been together for over two decades and shared two sons on the cusp of entering their teens. constant criticism. I do understand why this author depicted them acting as if they couldn't stand each other which was typical to display part of the plot which has them getting divorced.

I found myself flinching at the authenticity of the psychologist's assessment they sought out prior to the divorce when he told each of them that they contained two of John Gottman's attributes in his theory of the four horsemen that is 93 percent accurate in predicting divorce. I thought that was clever of this author to use in the narrative. I was impressed that she was aware of John Gottman's famous institute and his accurate theories which this fictional psychologist tries to empower both Danielle and Alex with. Danielle was told that if she examined her contempt and worked on it that there was hope that the marriage could heal. Likewise this informed psychologist told Alex that he should do the same self examination at his constant stonewalling. They were armed with powerful tools that they didn't take seriously like the two college educated forty something years they both were who could have avoided what awaited both of them in their future. Instead they came up with a plan to get an apartment which is referred to as nesting in which they would share individually and separately on the days that each of them didn't have visitation with their sons in the family home. I thought that they were innovative to have instituted such an intelligent and empathetic idea which showed their capacity to love by the way put their sons adjustment to their divorce by implementing such a plan. I knew that the loneliness they faced as they took turns with individual care of their sons at the family home ended would hit them when it was their turn to stay alone at the apartment. Their stipulation was the apartment was off limits as far as bringing anyone that they entered into a new relationship with couldn't enter that apartment.

I could tell that time apart faced with being newly single would be a wake up call to both of them and I predicted that the time apart would do what it did to a certain extent. They both have to interact with one another at the baseball drop offs and pick ups of their sons taking turns with one another. Danielle is a writer whose work gets picked up by a team for adaptation produced by Apple T.V. I didn't find Alex's response to end up where it did in regards to his relationship with Kate to be realistic. I think that upon further reflection that how that was represented wasn't typical of how most men would handle having found someone that had the qualities that Kate's character did. Kate was the antithesis of Danielle who he grew to withdraw and shut down emotionally at the end of their marriage. Their marriage was portrayed as if they both hated each other. How many forty year old men are going to not stray when their wife has slept in the guest room for three years? I can see why he didn't move out on account of his two sons. How many ex wives living apart are likely to be spending Thanksgiving at their ex husband's parents homes with their ex husband and his new committed relationship girlfriend such as Kate and her son? Alex has told Kate he loves her, she doesn't act as emotionally over the top as Danielle, yet Kate is treated as someone who is tolerated, but an inconvenience not just with Alex's mother and sister, but with Alex, also. I. Don't. Buy. It.

For the sake of this novel and because I would want to be treated the same way as Danielle was if I was the ex-wife, I will go with the flow since this is fiction. I would love it if this was how the world works, but this just doesn't ring true in contemporary realism in literary fiction. There's only one reason why this could be portrayed as it was. This isn't a spoiler because it is implicit in the synopsis.
I will say that the ending was totally unpredictable and threw me for a loop. It had moved me emotionally feeling totally heartbroken. I never saw that ending coming and I felt totally choked up with tears. I might consider looking into this author's previous work. This isn't usually my type of novel and I didn't like how this couple interacted while they were married with the constant attacks on each other's character. I am impressed that the author is self aware enough to be familiar with Dr. John Gottman's work and to have included it in this novel is admirable. I think that the synopsis gives away too much, but it's not just with this novel and it for me detracts from me enjoying the reading experience as much as I would have. The synopsis hints towards what I included in my review only my review is more detailed, but that's why I don't consider this spoiler content. I would recommend it since the ending is impossible to guess. A cautionary tale for certain that overall is written with depth.

Publication Date: July 9, 2024

Thank you to Net Galley, Renee Carlino and Random House Publishing Group-Dial Press Trade Paperback for generously providing me with my ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review. All opinions are my own.

#ThisUsedtoBeUs #ReneeCarlino #RandomHousePublishingGroupDialPressTradePaperback #NetGalley

Synopsis: There are two sides to every love story—and every breakup. Get ready for an emotional roller coaster of family, marriage, and divorce that will have you both laughing and crying, from the bestselling author of Before We Were Strangers.

After twenty-two years together, Danielle and Alex are getting a divorce. Once fiercely in love, they can barely stand the sound of each other’s voice. Instead of shuffling the kids between two broken homes, Alex and Danielle decide to share a nesting apartment while swapping days with their two teenage boys at the family home.

In the apartment, Dani and Alex, on their own, begin to reflect on the last two decades—why they fell in love, and why the marriage fell, spectacularly, apart. With the newfound space and time, they are given a chance to find their autonomous selves again. They both get back in the dating pool, Dani finds major success at work as a showrunner on her own TV project, while Alex faces the challenges of a new relationship.

Still, they find they just can’t stay away from each other, and somehow, the distance allows them to remember (for the first time in years) what they used to love about one another. When a family crisis draws them back into each other’s orbit, Danielle and Alex are, once again, put to the test, which leads to a dramatic conclusion that will have readers weeping.

Review: Look, the first 91% of this book was easily 4.5 stars for me. Easily. The last 9%? Throw it away. Burn it. It was so unnecessary and also so rushed that there was no time for me, as a reader, to process it, or even realize what was happening before it was over. Honestly, this was an incredible disappointment for me. Before We Were Strangers is still one of my favorite books that I've ever read. Ever. This feels like it was written by another author who also loves Before We Were Strangers and was trying really hard to write like Renee Carlino.