“Story is the best magic there is.”

I’ve been hearing about this book since its publication and figured it was high time I found out what the fuss was all about. I had a vague sense of the subject matter and thought it had little to do with my own personal situation so I kept putting it off. I read for many reasons but mainly to either a) escape or b) learn. It is said that people who are readers are more compassionate and have more empathy. Turns out, I COULD relate— as a parent of three children who are as different as night and day. While this wasn’t what I consider an escapist read, I did learn a great deal from it and I do feel like I gained some understanding. It is thoughtfully and (mostly) realistically portrayed I think. As a mom, I found the predicament of this family completely relatable, parents trying to do the best for ALL their children without all the foresight, knowledge, and experience that could be helpful. In the words of the dad, “This is how it always is.” He means parents do the best they can in any given moment with what they have. It is heartbreaking at times, but also hopeful. I am glad I finally read this. I listened to the audio narrated by Gabra Zackman (wonderful!) thanks to NetGalley.

What happens when you have a family secret? How do you deal with it?
Questions to ask yourself.
Change while hard can be necessary.
What a though provoking book!

I wanted to try the audio book of this because I didn’t have time to read it, I needed to multitask but I did like the narration of the story. I am grateful for the early access, thank you to those that allowed it!

All three of the Laurie Frankel’s books I’ve read are beautiful portraits of complicated families. In this one, Rosie and Penn and their five boys have a messy life full of love, and when their youngest starts wanting to wear dresses and have long hair, nothing changes and also everything changes all at once.

I’m sure you’ve seen this book or even read it years ago. If you haven’t, it’s a huge rec from me! You don’t need to know anything more about it other than that brief synopsis and that the writing is phenomenal. The audiobook is also great, and the ebook is available on #KindleUnlimited!

Also, do not skip the author’s note!!

Absolutely LOVE this audio book. The narration is fantastic and I find myself so connected with the characters and all of their hopes, fears, joy and sorrows. As I was listening to this I realized this will be a book I return to again and again, and I’m not a repeat reader. This story is just full of so much and I loved that as you see the family navigating through this journey of understanding and love with their youngest child I find myself smiling as I listen.

At Halloween time when Claude is figuring out what to dress up as there is so much packed into that one segment. He ultimately chooses a fictional character his family has crafted during bedtime story. When his brother says “no one will know who you’re supposed to be” and Claude replies “no one ever does”. That just hits me so hard. Did I mention I love this book. This fragile, beautiful child who is feeling so much beyond what can be communicated verbally just takes my breath away.

This book is a work of fiction and may not reflect others experiences but I feel it resonates with being a parent at the core. You love your child for everything they are and it’s daunting to help them navigate through a world where they will face people who are u kind and at times downright cruel.
There’s also a fear that the world won’t love and embrace your child the way you do

This Is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel

* Thank you to @netgalley and @macmillanaudio for providing the audiobook in exchange of a honest review.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I couldn't recommend this book enough, everybody could learn from it. Hopefully, there will be one day when the majority can accepte the difference within us and this book will for sure help!

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Loved this. I really enjoyed everything about this. I loved the story completely. It will stay with me for a long time. I appreciate that the author has very strong voice - one I really enjoy.

I was conflicted about this book. I loved the idea of putting trans children at the forefront and having supportive families. But the book seemed so dramatic and very unlike things that everyday Trans kids go through. Like the trip to Thailand and being able to move. This is a good start but not indicative of the lives of the trans people I know.
I wasn't big on the narrator. Her voice was flat with only a bit of rhythm. I didn't enjoy that part of the book.

I tried with this book. But I just couldn't get into it. Rating it 3 stars because while it wasn't the book for me it might be the perfect book for someone else.

Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for the ALC.

All thoughts and opinions are honest and my own.

Not my cup of tea. I couldn’t get into it. I really wanted to, but just couldn’t.

Audiobook ARC from the publisher via NetGalley but the opinions are my own.

A fascinating listen.
This was such a thought-provoking book, addressing issues I hadn't even considered.
I will happily read more Frankel books. She considers every situation from all points of view, and the result is quite incredible.
The narrator was superb, evoking the emotion felt by each character perfectly.

I have no idea why it took me so long to pick this book and it’s hard to put into words what it made me feel. It was raw, open, beautiful and heartbreaking. Sad, funny, heartwarming and eye opening in so many ways. A must read for everyone who really wants to learn.

Thank you NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for this complimentary audiobook.

I originally read this when it first came out. It was powerful then, but after having children of my own this book has taken on a whole new depth for me. I absolutely adore Laurie Frankel's story, writing, and the narration was spectacular. This powerful, insightful and thought provoking read is a must-read for everyone's list.

5 Stars
"This is how children change…and then change the world."
This was the most amazing story of a family and more importantly of a child growing up trying to find their way. Rosie and Penn's fifth son Claude says he wants to be a girl when he grows up and that he does,
I honestly feel like everyone should read this book. They should especially read it if they have a hard time understanding how someone could change their gender. It is beautifully told. I am a better person for reading this book and it will forever live in my heart.

Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for the opportunity to listen to this audiobook.

“This is How it Always Is” by Laurie Frankel is a look in to the chaotic life of Penn and Rosie as they navigate parenting their five children to be themselves, to be happy and fulfilled. Isn’t that what all parents want? When their youngest, Claude expresses at an early age his desire to be a girl, they support their child as they nurture all their children to express themselves. This is a beautiful portrait of family, love, friendship and partnership. Frankel gives the reader a poignant, heartwarming and relatable insight into a topic that so quickly becomes politicized and polarizing. I highly recommend the book to anyone who enjoys realistic fiction. This is a novel about and for the modern family.

I love this book soo much. It handle soo many important issues when it comes to raising kids. I feel like a lot of parent can relate (I know I did) to the inner struggle when it comes to what society deems acceptable and when it just boils down to wanting your kid to be happy and being able to live their best lives. I think this book and its message will always stick with me when it comes to raising my own children.

Thank you NetGalley for an alc.

This Is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel: I laughed, I cried and I hugged this book well before page 100, and I have not stopped loving this book since.

I am at a loss for exactly how to compose my thoughts, as no words will be enough to convey my adoration for this novel.

If only we could all be this open-minded, this caring and this loving; to only want others to become their own unique version of happiness for themselves.

How did I manage to learn so much about parenting from a fictional book? In the same breath, I also think this shares the highlight real of perfect parenting. Yes, there are tough "how do we handle this" moments, but they (generally) turn out okay. This family is the gold standard, and I know their experience is not the norm, but let me live is this utopia for a minute.

There was a moment during Part III when I hesitated, when I wondered: why Thailand; why was this change needed for the characters; for the story? Then it all made an even more beautiful sense than either Part I or Part II ever had.

I am not sure how to express my love of how Gabra Zackman narrated this book. Her expressions, inflection and tone are so perfectly subtle that it lets Frankel's words truly speak for themselves. Zackman's voice provides a sense of calm to an otherwise turbulent plot; she is a serene anchor for the story to pivot around. It is the voice she created for Penn that will stay in my head when I think of this book. This has become one of my favourite audio books of all time, and it will be one that I recommend time and time again.

I'm not sure if it's the prose or the audiobook narration style, but This Is How It Always Is gave me major Beartown vibes many, many times (although neither are even close to the same book).

This Is How It Always Is gets each and every star in the sky, as five is simply not enough, dethroning To Kill A Mockingbird as my all-time favourite book.

Thank you NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for the complimentary copy to read and review.

My face is soaked in tears. Wow.

Laurie Frankel knows how to pull on the heartstrings, and the audiobook made this feel personal and cinematic.

As a mother this made me equal parts scared and resolved.

One of the best family dramas I have ever read.

This story is a beautiful one. Am I reviewing both the story and the audio file? Yes. The audio book was excellent! Sometimes the narrators voice can be super distracting in audio books. Sometimes I dont like the accent or the tone of voice. Sometimes the narrators are over acting.

THIS NARRATOR WAS PERFECT! I usually only really enjoy Julia Whelan reading fiction novels but this narrator has made me decide to branch out and listen to new ones!

Thanks for this copy! I really enjoyed it!

This book is very captivating. We read this for my book club and the discussion was amazing surrounding this book/topic. Being transgender is more accepting in the part of the country I live in, and I also feel my generation is more accepting as well. The book club consisted of many women from different parts of the country and different generations and hearing how they felt about the story was insightful. I personally thought this story was wonderful and I cried at many points of the book. I felt very strongly for the characters and the family and what they were going through in their support for their child. I was able to put myself in the mom's shoes and understand where she was coming from and fully understand how sometimes we are born into the wrong body. Very good read/listen and wonderful for starting tough conversations.