THIS IS HOW IT ALWAYS IS review

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5

❤️‍🩹In my quest to read the manyyyyy backlist Reese’s bookclub picks, I picked up THIS IS HOW IT ALWAYS IS and went in blind. I enjoyed this one and it’s a book that definitely made me think!

❤️‍🩹Here’s a summary of the plot:👇
Claude is the youngest of five brothers and really wants to be a princess when he grows up. He loves wearing dresses and wants to grow his hair long and be a girl. Claude’s family want him to be whatever he wants to be, but they also want to protect him from strangers who don’t understand their child. Keeping Claude’s secret is a big task for this family of 7, and is it something that can stay a secret forever?

❤️‍🩹I felt so connected to the characters in this story! I’d never read a book by Laurie Frankel before but I really enjoyed her writing style and need to read more of her backlist! After reading so many thrillers lately, I kept expecting some big twist or finale but that’s not how literary fiction works for the most part. I really liked this one overall, but something about the ending left me wanting more. I’d definitely recommend this one and I can’t wait to find more undiscovered gems and I work my way through Reese’s bookclub’s backlist!

I received this audio book as an ARC via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Many thanks to the author and publisher for this opportunity.

A thoughtful and compassionate book.
Excellent narration
A beautiful story.

#NetGalley
#goodreads

I was unable to download this book but after release day I did purchase and read and loved loved loved this book.

SUCH A HEART-TUGGER!

Claude is 5 and loves peanut butter sandwiches. He also loves to wear dresses and pretend he's a princess. His parents, Rosie and Penn, want to support Claude in being a girl but are not sure the rest of the world is ready to hear their secret. The choices they make as parents in order to keep Claude's secret will only drive the inevitable. Their secret is safe.....until one day it isn't.

As an empath, I really enjoyed being able to stand in the shoes of the parents and Claude. It's crazy how much reading stories like this can allow us those opportunities like no other. This is my second Frankel novel and I'm so impressed with her writing. I love not having to think about how something reads and can just get engulfed in the story. Frankel is a master at taking us deeper into the heart of the situations at stake. She paints real life pictures for us that we might be able to identify ourselves or those we know in her characters. It's my understanding that Frankel's inspiration for this novel happened within her own household. Perhaps that is why the reader can sense her raw emotions on each page.

Gabra Zackman might have the most buttery voice I've ever heard in a narration. She brought so much beauty and respect to the storyline, portraying each character with care and creativity.

Thank you Macmillan Audio , Laurie Frankel, and NetGalley for this audio ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I think this book in the times we are in now is a must read for parents whether their kids are transgender or not. This book is very eye opening and I think helpful in showing what families go through while their child transitions. Insightful and heartfelt.

I tried to read this book and I just couldn’t get into it. I ended up put it down halfway through. Being a parent is tough. I get it. I’m a parent. But wowza these two parents were extra annoying. I have a 5 year old and 7 year old. My boy plays dress up with his sister. He wears her dresses, plays with dolls, wants lipstick. All the things. He also loves dinosaurs, plays with trucks, collects cars. You get my point. Let kids be kids. I’m all about letting Claude wear his bikini all summer. Whatever. It doesn’t matter. I would never in a million years let my 5 year wear a dress to school. Or a fairy custume. Or a dinosaur costume. Come on. When they started asking their five year old if he wants to be a girl. I was fed up. Seriously if I asked my 5 year old he would want to be a dragon or something. Anyway I was not a fan of the book. I have absolutely nothing against trans people or gay people or anything of that sort. I feel like everyone should be free to be who they are but my point is why would you let a five year old be making these types of decisions. If I saw this behavior I would just roll with it. They might grow out of it or not but why make a big deal about it at suck a young age.

Thanks you netgalley for the advanced readers copy.

Laurie Frankel's This Is How It Always Is is a thoughtful and heartwarming look at how a family deals with the challenges of raising a transgender child. I really appreciate how Frankel takes the time to explore how each member of this closeknit group handles different situations as they arise.

This amazing cast of characters could prove quite a challenge in audio, but Gabra Zackman does an incredible job of bringing a uniqe voice to each of them. Zackman delivers a stunning performance!

What a lovely story, and I was sorry when it was over. I could have happily listened to another six hours about the lives of the Walsh-Adams family. Plus I'd have loved to read Penn's novel! So creative.

I think if there ever existed a handbook for how to navigate parenting a trans or gendercomforming child, or just parenting in general, this may be it. For me though, this one was difficult, triggering yet compelling thanks to the audiobook narrator who provided just the right tone for this story about extremely flawed people trying to do their best. As someone who has grown up with and still living with extreme gender dysphoria, it was sometimes viscerally upsetting with the ways the actions of caregivers were unconscionable and selfish in the name of caregiving. But the writing and the narration struck this ideal tone of a relatable fairytale about a family trying and stumbling and afraid and vulnerable and learning and growing together. The thing that's keeping me from giving this 5 stars, despite the stellar voice in text and narration is that there is the inherently unavoidable lens of white privilege and even financially convenient twists of the narrative that took me out of this at times. First, the whole moving a massive family on a single stable income to a different part of the country, more or less overnight into a perfect situation. Which massively undercuts the reality of the situation of a majority of families of trans children, especially in America. But more so the second instance, when Rosie takes her child to Thailand on a medical volunteer gig. I cringed at the whole white saviour complex of Rosie's, even though the whole point of that part of their journey is that Thailand is a beacon of what an uncolonized old world can provide for gender diversity. While Poppy seems to clean mostly the necessary lessons, Rosie ends up solidifying as a character who gets praised for a brand of white feminism that I am often at odds with. Regardless, this book does a lot of heavy lifting that is necessary in the Western society and I'm glad it exists even with its flaws. Thanks to Netgalley for the audiobook because I'm not sure I'd have stuck with the print version.

"This Is How It Always Is" by Laurie Frankel is a Stunningly Beautiful Story!

Did I fall in love with the cover first? I didn't read the synopsis and I didn't know where it would take me, but I was pleasantly surprised by the outcome. If I were to tell you how much I loved this story, it wouldn't be enough...

"This Is How It Always Is" is a uniquely original and unexpectedly beautiful story with engaging writing and a soft, quiet narrative. It's about a family of seven: five boys, mom Rosie, who is a doctor, and dad Penn, who is a writer. The youngest child, Claude, is different from the other four boys. He feels different, sees himself differently, and when he's five years old, he tells his family that he wants to be a girl when he grows up...

I couldn't stop listening to this story as it carried me along like another member of their family. I adored all of them for their resilience and their immovable displays of love that start at the top, with Rosie and Penn, and trickle down to youngest child, Claude. This is a couple who loves each other, their family, and each of their children in equal measure. Their relationship as a couple is the heartwood that supports the weight of their family.

Mixed within this story is a fairytale told to the children by Penn each night at bedtime that lends a metaphorical tone to the story. Children love fantasy and magic, and Penn loves subliminally playing to the crowd. Did I mention that Penn was my favorite character and his words of reason were magic to my ears?

"This Is How It Always Is" isn't just a story about one topic, one family, and one different child. At its core, Rosie and Penn are making decisions concerning their children. It comes with the territory and even with the best intentions, it's a tough place to be. This component brings shocking realities to the story.

The audiobook was the best choice for me and my love of the story. Hearing Gabra Zackman narrate this family's story in her soothing voice was exactly what I needed. Why did I wait so long to listen?

This is how you write about a polemical topic and balance it with sensitivity, understanding, and compassion through a loving and thoughtful family of seven. This is how reading can awaken an awareness about the impacts of being transgender from a child's, parent's, and sibling's perspectives.

"This Is How It Always Is" is a well-thought-out, thought-provoking, and stunningly beautiful story that brought tears to my eyes as I smiled. I recommend this amazing book to everyone who can read!

5⭐

Thank you to NetGalley, Macmillan Audio, and Laurie Frankel for an ALC of this book. It has been a pleasure to give my honest and voluntary review.

“A novel about revelations, transformations, fairy tales, and family. This is how a family keeps a secret...and how that secret ends up keeping them. This is how a family lives happily ever after...until happily ever after becomes complicated.”

I’ve had this book on hold on and off since 2019. I finally read it and I regret not starting it sooner! This book filled me with so. much. emotion. The love I have for 3 year old Clyde though👸🏼🥺 It is a beautiful book of family dynamics and strength, and opens doors for important conversations.

If you’ve been holding out on reading this, go read it now! IMO everyone should read this book ❤️

“Maybe it’s not being Poppy that’s hard, it’s staying Poppy.”

Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for this Advance Listener Copy. All opinions are my own.

Thanks to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for an advanced audiobook in exchange for an honest review.

5 stars

One of my favorite books. I had read it years ago. It was touching and endearing. Highly recommend.

Excellent narration by Gabra Zackman

Thank you to netgalley and Macmillan Audio for allowing me access to this book in exchange for my honest opinion. This was such an interesting read.

I've had This is How it Always is on my TBR for the longest time, but have never gotten around to it for some reason. When I saw that NetGalley was offering it in audiobook form, I decided it was finally the time to give it a listen! I'm so glad I did because it inspired lots of deep thinking and thinking of "what would I do?"

The book is about a family of 7... Rosie and Penn have five sons. Claude is the youngest. But from the time he is 5, he loves wearing dresses and talks often of wanting to be a princess. Rosie and Penn are loving and caring parents and really only want what is best for their child. The question is, in today's society, what exactly is best for a child? Of course, most of us agree it's to let the child be free to be who they are and to love and accept them no matter what. But you can't control the actions of those outside your family and how do you best protect your child in this world?

I feel like this is the kind of book everyone should read. I do understand the criticism that this should have been written from the POV of a trans child, but I also think that parents need stories from parents' perspectives as well (I don't think any one book can cover everything we need to learn on a topic and we need to be reading multiple sources).

There are definitely some moments that I felt were unrealistic/idealized, especially near the end of the book. But ultimately, I feel like this book does much more good than anything and reading it can really only inspire greater understanding of perspectives and more open conversations.

This novel is about a family of six. Four boys, with a mother who is a doctor and a father who is a writer. Their fifth child, Claude, feels more themself when they wear dresses. The novel focuses on family dynamics around Claude / Poppy's life from age 3 to 10, as the children and parents figure out together exactly who Poppy and they all are by examining gender identity. This book is filled with many painful and touching moments as the family navigates life. I thought that the characters came alive on the page and each one of them had a transformation as the story went on. I listened to the audiobook narrated by Gabra Zackman. They did a wonderful job reading this book. The narration was perfect and I feel something for all of the characters as the narrator brought them to life.

“I wish for my child, for all our children, a world where they can be who they are and become their most loved, blessed, appreciated selves.”

WOW. I picked this up for the pretty cover (the blue one with wings) but I stayed for the heartbreakingly real story. This is a story that touches on the very heart of what I hold dear - raising transgender and/or gender neutral kids. Loving, respecting and, above all, listening to them. This one was almost too much. It was so beautiful and so tough. I cried, I wanted to stop, but I stuck with it and the book was so moving, I'm glad I stayed.

I did this as an audiobook, which was good, because it meant my hands were free to wipe my tears. I loved it.

A huge thank you to the author and publisher for providing an e-ARC via Netgalley. This does not affect my opinion regarding the book.

4 my first audiobook stars

I have finally embarked into audiobooks! I savored this one over walks in the park and listening in the car. I’m excited that I’ve found a new way to enjoy books. I liked how the narrator, Gabra Zackman, read the story and I had no trouble keeping the characters straight.

Previously, I read “One Two Three” by this author and really enjoyed it, so I was excited to see this one as an offering in NetGalley.

This one is the story of a family of seven: parents and five children. All boys, until one day, the last child decides he wants to be a girl. The story is a deep dive into how this affects all of them, how the parents cope differently, and how each sibling deals with things. There are also interesting insights into how schools deal with this, some good, some bad.

The family starts in Madison and then decides to move to Seattle to find a more welcoming environment for Claude, or now Poppy. Things are further complicated when they keep Poppy’s secret in the new town.

Rosie is a great mother and doctor, and her husband, Penn, is a writer and a stay-at-home Dad. He’s also a great fairy tale teller, and I loved the story within a story with this one. The family grows and changes over the years, and the complexity is very authentic.

I found this to be a fascinating story to listen to, and I’m so glad I discovered it!

I absolutely adored the audiobook version of “This Is How It Always Is” by Laurie Frankel. I’ve had the audiobook (and the physical book, if I’m honest) on my TBR/TBL for a few years now.

The narrator has a wonderfully smoky voice and uses different voices for each character, which adds to the enjoyment of the story. She speaks in a way that is very calming and does a good job of conveying emotion through her narration.

The story is stunningly beautiful. The characters are realistic, compassionate, supportive, and loving. The plot is applicable to current events and includes believable reactions (both supportive and not-so-supportive) from folks surrounding the main characters. The dialogue is spot-on, especially the depiction of teen boys’ comments and brotherly ribbing. The parents are wonderfully supportive and understandably bewildered, balancing their child’s needs and wants with their own understanding that they often don’t know what the “right” decision is. But their guiding light is always the love they have for their children, and the power of that truly shines through.

This was a no-questions-asked 5 star review for me.

Many thanks to NetGalley for the opportunity to listen to the audiobook for free in exchange for an honest review.

This book was hard for me to get through. I found it uninteresting and a lot of unnecessary fillers throughout the book.

Beautiful book. Well narrated. It’s about love and unconditional support and kindness and doing your best as a parent. Moving story. Highly recommended.

The narrator of this book was fabulous. She truly made me feel every emotion! I didn't love this one as much as I thought I was going to but I would still recommend. I think it is extremely well written + it is an important story to tell!