This is a great book- both in terms of topic and how it is written. I always adore Laurie Frankel's work.

Unfortunately, those who NEED to read this book won't.

It is the story of a very young boy, Claude, who knows he is really a girl. Claude becomes Poppy. The book covers the family's journey.

Part 3 kept this from being a 5 star read, as I found it a tad unbelievable.

Gabra Zackman narrates the audiobook.

Claude is 5 when he starts dreaming of being a fairy princess. He was a girl born in a boy's body. He started to wear dresses, renamed himself Poppy, and started school in a new town as a girl. Her parents loved everything about Poppy. They hid Poppy's secret and lived life the best they could. But keeping secrets caged them in. This book, brilliant in the way it is told, was heartfelt, heart breaking, and beautiful. Highly recommend!


Many thanks to Net Galley and McMillan Audio for an audio copy of this book in exchange due an honest review.

Thank you to Netgalley for access to the audiobook of this terrific novel, wonderfully narrated by Gabra Zackman.

I first read this novel in 2017 and it amazes me how much my views on transgender care have evolved in such a short time. When I first read this story, I sided with Poppy's mom in that hormone blockers were perhaps not appropriate for a 10-year-old. But now I think differently in that it could be appropriate and that Poppy may know her true self by age 10.

This book explores the complexities of raising a transgender child in even such liberal cities as
Seattle and Madison, Wisconsin. And the impact on each child is explored. Poppy's older brother was upset when he had to leave his football and music activities in Madison to start a new life in Seattle. The idea of family sacrifice for the needs of one child is well explored.

As always, narrator Gabra Zackman was a dream to listen to. She individualizes each character and brings the readers into the book.

This is How it Always Is is a beautiful story about family, growth, and loving each other for who we are at our core. This books deals with some very deep and sensitive topics in heartfelt and touching ways. The growth of the characters in this books is amazing. This is a story for any one or any family that wants to know more about loving someone in the trans community. One thing I love about this book is they don’t get it right 100% of the time, but they learn and grow from their mistakes and find new ways to love and be supportive.

What do you do if your young son insists he wants to be a girl when he grows up? This is the story of a family who is working to raise all their children as the most authentic versions of themselves, and specifically honoring the desires of their child Claude as he grows into himself/herself, in a time and place in the world when there is judgement and fear around such decisions. This is a beautiful story about love and tough decisions that parents have to face to help their children thrive. It is wonderfully written, eye-opening, and should be read by everyone.

This is a book everyone needs to read. It’s beautiful. It’s heartbreaking. It’s real. This is a story about life, about family, about marriage, about secrets, about the unknown, about choices and consequences. This book had tears in my eyes.

Thank you Macmillan audio for the copy in exchange for an honest review!