The Good: Charming coming-of-age fairy tale
The Bad: Maybe just a little too simple and sweet; low stakes
The Literary: Graceful prose

Gaius Aurelius Constantine Heliogabalus Thrax (please call him Robert) lives in the backwater kingdom of Bellemontagne, thrust into his father's dragon extermination business. The thing is, Robert likes dragons and even feels a kinship with them, even though everyone else considers them unwanted vermin. He does his best to kill them as humanely as possible, but he also secretly recues some and keeps them as pets. Instead of going on house calls around his tiny village, Robert dreams of traveling as a prince's valet.

Two additional secondary protagonists are also about Robert's age, but both are high-born. Princess Cerise is the stunningly beautiful and stubborn princess of Bellemontagne, who met Robert once many years ago when his father exterminated the castle. Cerise hates the endless parade of princes who come to seek her hand in marriage. She's certainly a strong young woman who plays by her own rules, which is why it's a little disappointing when she falls head over heels for Prince Reginald.

Crown Prince Reginald of Corvinia visits Bellemontagne on a quest to prove himself a worthy champion in his father's eyes. Reginald is stunningly handsome, so everyone assumes him to be a hero already, especially Cerise. When Cerise sees her own crumbling castle through the eyes of this wealthy foreign price, she insists the castle be cleaned up and restored immediately, which includes bringing in the local dragon exterminator.

Each of our young heroes is on a journey of self-discovery. Although it's a simple story, their paths are not stereotypical. It's quite funny, even satirical, in a The Princess Bride way. The worldbuilding is minimal (our protagonists travel between only a few points across the kingdom), but it's the budding friendship and hero's journey that are the real charm here. Throw in an evil wizard and some huge dangerous dragons, and you've got a cute coming-of-age fairy tale. Beagle excels at lyrical allegorical prose, but it's played quite minimally here, reserved for descriptions of the dragons, which makes them all the more magical.

While this is a charming tale, I note the lack of real darkness or the bittersweet sadness that is characteristic of many of Beagle's other works. In that way, I'd recommend this for anyone looking for a sweet whimsical tale of a young princes and princess off on adventure, with dragons and wizards.

Thanks to NetGalley and Publisher for providing the eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Plot:
Robert is a dragon exterminator who likes dragons but pursues to become a Prince's valet and nothing more. Princess Cerise is a self taught stubborn girl who does not need a Prince to save her. Prince Reginald wishes he were not born into royalty and constantly be disapproved by his King. They live in a medieval world where dragons are a pest and are not appreciated alive. When all three go on a quest that turns into something dangerous when an evil wizard hunts them for some sort of revenge.
Thoughts:
This is a cosy fairytale like fantasy that has humour. The idea of dragons and their role amongst humans is good. The magic system is not fully explored and seems to be limited only to the one evil wizard. All the characters had so much potential to excel at something but they were all too shallow to think of anything beyond the surface of things. The writing switched between humour and tragedy without remorse which made it difficult to take anything seriously. And then there is a forever kind of romance that got cemented in 2 weeks time without so much as a conversation. Overall the plot, the characters and the writing were all undercooked and unimpressive.

2023 was a good year for Peter Beagle fans (and who isn’t a Beagle fan?), with the publication of two retrospective short story collections — The Essential Peter S. Beagle Volumes I and II — and another book (The Way Home) combining two novellas, one a reprint and the other brand new.. And now, just as the afterglow of all that may be starting to fade, 2024 says “hold my mead,” offering up a new novel, I’m Afraid You’ve Got Dragons, that, while it ends satisfactorily resolved, also teases the possibility of more stories set in this world with these characters. And thus there was much rejoicing.

Beagle sets his story in a medieval world, where dragons (which can be large but in most cases are small enough to hold in your arms or hand) are pests akin to termites or rats. Which of course necessitates the need for someone to take care of the problem, leading to our first of three main characters, Robert Thrax, a young man following in his deceased father’s footsteps as the local dragon exterminator/trapper in the kingdom of Bellemontagne. The problem is he hates his job, hates the killing and/or capturing of dragons, and when he can, he tries to let them go free or takes them home with him. What he really wants to do is be a prince’s valet and travel around the various kingdoms as they go off adventuring. As chance would have it, just one such adventuring prince, Prince Reginald of the large and aggressively expansionist Kingdom of Corvinia, has arrived with his own valet, who has been tasked by Reginald’s father to turn his not particularly brave or skilled at arms son “into a real man.” Something Reginald has no interest in, just as he doesn’t really want to be a prince, though his handsome appearance makes him the visual epitome of one. Those looks catch the attention of our last member of the main character trio — Princess Cerise, who has been wearily working her way through the seemingly endless queue of royal suitors. At least, when she hasn’t been sneaking off to teach herself how to read, a skill rare amongst royals.

The three come together when Cerise, horrified at the state of their castle in comparison to what Reginald must be used to, frantically asks her parents to refurbish the whole place, add on a few wings, etc. Noting that difficult to do in the single afternoon before Reginald is formally presented, her father agrees to at least rid their castle of the major dragon infestation and, in an absolutely wonderful scene, calls in person upon Robert to hire him. Doing so brings him to the attention of Reginald’s valet Morimain, who concocts a plan to have Robert teach Reginald enough of how to fight a large dragon so the three can go off and have Reginald (mostly Robert) kill one in the countryside, thus becoming the “hero” his father wishes him to be. As one would expect, the carefully crafted plan goes awry, and the three end up facing something and someone far more sinister and dangerous than a single wild dragon as the book melds together a quest/adventure storyline and a coming-of-age storyline with all three characters trying to find a way to be true to themselves despite the constraints placed upon them by their positions in society and (for Reginald and Cerise) their appearance.

All three characters are endearing, engaging, and moving in their desire to escape their proscribed lives into ones more naturally fitting. That’s particularly true with Robert, as his is the most heart-wrenching thanks to his revulsion at being directly involved in the slaughter of creatures he loves and respects, a slaughter that takes a continuous toll on him. A toll his best friend and assistant Ostvald can’t help but notice as they work in the castle:

it seemed to Ostvald — who was not introspective — that his friend was somehow poisoning himself as well as the creatures they had been hired to destroy … Robert’s face looked increasingly gray and bleak, gaunted as though will illness … The dragons they had driven out were sick and dying … [Robert] stroked each one softly, whispering, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” There were never tears in his eyes. But after a while, mask or no, Ostvald could not bear to look into them.
After several days of horrifying work, Robert and Ostvald ended up killing or capturing over seven thousand, taking the bodies and live ones to the Dragon Market, so to the guilt of the killing and caging gets added the guilt of profiting from it all. Robert had “briefly considered refusing to participate … [but couldn’t] abandon his due share of the sale, knowing the state of the Thrax home and the needs of his mother, brothers, and sisters. In the end, what did it matter? Dead was dead, and guilt grew no sourer with quantity, merely deeper. His life was as father and fate had willed … no matter how much he might dream … “

Cerise has a similar gut-wrenching instance of self-loathing, though I won’t go into details so as to avoid spoilers. Reginald probably has the lightest burden, but that’s only a matter of scale; he feels just as trapped in his role as the other two. And once one meets his father, one gets a sense of how bad his young life has probably been. With one exception, the other characters are well-drawn regardless of their page time, whether that be Cerise’s parents, Robert’s mother, Reginald’s valet, or Robert’s two best friends, Ostvald and Elfrieda, each feeling like they’re in the midst of their own stories though we only see their intersection with this one.

Beyond character, the prose is, as always with Beagle, wonderfully readable, always sharp and precise, often lyrical, sprinkled with original metaphors, and full of naturally wry dialogue. And when he needs to create a vivid set scene, as he does for instance with the Dragon Market, the setting and the characters that populate feel wholly real for all that they’re selling imported dragons. Beagle also does a nice job of varying his sentence style and structure to the moment, as when he describes the market’s sense of bustling noise and activity with a long sentence that rushes forward via a series of clauses:

Some of the noise and commotion was the natural cacophony of the market itself — the squalling and hissing of captive dragons, the shouting of vendors, the squealing and laughter of children at play with this or that toy, crying out for this or that confection — but the greatest part of of their own making, as car after royal cart came rocking and swaying into view.
The one off note for me in the novel was the villain, who feels a bit betwixt and between in terms of whimsy and villainy and so never really is effective in either role. That said, he has his moments, and I particularly enjoyed the way he enacts his violence on people, which is so, so Beagle-like.

I’m Afraid You’ve Got Dragons is quintessential Beagle, a wryly askew fairy-tale-ish style and structure full of whimsy and warm-hearted humor (Cerise’s king and queen parents are an especial joy) but threaded through as well with more dark and bittersweet themes as well as some truly graphic violence, as Beagle has always hewn more to the old-style, original fairy tales rather than the Disney-fied versions. Beagle is his own type of writer of course, but I’d say in many ways this book reminds me of Lloyd Alexander’s PRYDAIN series in how both blend innocence, goofiness, bitterness, violence, and sweetness and how both make use of the “classic” fantasy characters but in such crafted fashion such that they feel uniquely their own selves. I confess to I’m hoping I’m Afraid You’ve Got Dragons is similar in one other respect, extending our time with these characters past one book.

I’m Afraid You’ve Got Dragons is Peter S. Beagle’s first new work of fiction in eight years, and those who are enchanted with his previous works, particularly his iconic 1968 story The Last Unicorn, will find another humorous and, at times, surprisingly dark and moving fairy tale within its pages.

A young man named Gaius Aurelius Constantine Heliogabalus Thrax (who prefers to just be called Robert, thanks) has inherited his dead father’s business as a dragon exterminator in the tiny kingdom of Bellmontagne. Dragons in this world are considered mere pests—vermin that the local villagers hire Robert to remove or kill. Robert hates his job. He abhors potentially harming the dragons he’s paid to eradicate and dreams of escaping the violent drudgery of his work to take on the infinitely more prestigious role of becoming a prince’s valet.

Escaping his situation, however, seems impossible. Even though his work makes his stomach turn, the money he gets ensures his mother and siblings have enough to live on. And so Robert does what he can to save the dragons he’s hired to exterminate, which means that his home is secretly full of tiny serpentine creatures who have become part of the family.

One day, the king of Bellmontagne seeks him out (in quite a comedic fashion, I should add) and orders him to the castle to do a full expunging of the hundreds of dragons who live there. Robert’s services were not called for in recent years because of benign neglect, but when Princess Cerise falls for the heroically handsome Prince Reginald, she begs her family to rid the royal abode of all the firebreathing beasts scurrying in its walls so as not to embarrass herself in front of her new beau’s eyes.

More at link below on Reactor.

I'm Afraid You've Got Dragons reads a bit like a fairy tale in some ways with a handsome prince and beautiful princess, but the prince struggles with bravery and the princess secretly wants to learn to read as much as find her true love. In the mix is also a lad of humble birth who along with two friends works as a dragon exterminator, despite a fascination with the creatures and secretly keeping a few as household pets. When an evil sorcerer threatens the kingdom, it will take all their collective skills to save the land.

I felt the book held my interest more earlier on with its quirky depiction of a dragon infested castle and dragon market than later when it became somewhat more predictable in the climatic battle, but If you enjoyed Beagle's fantasy classic, The Last Unicorn, you will also likely be charmed by this sweet coming of age tale.

Peter S. Beagle is one of my favorite people. He's written two books that I hold close to my heart, THE LAST UNICORN and A FINE AND PRIVATE PLACE, one of my all-time favorite books. Reading I'M AFRAID YOU'VE GOT DRAGONS was like visiting an old, steadfast friend. His storytelling, sense of humor, and whimsy can hardly be surpassed. This book got me through a tough couple of weeks and I'm sure I'll return to it in the future. Buy the book for the dragons, stay for the story and old-school fantasy writing.

Content warnings for animal (dragon) abuse and death, some violence.

Fantasy Grand Master Peter S. Beagle returns with this enchanting and poignant story about dragons, magic, self-belief, the power of friendship, and did I mention dragons?

I first read Peter S. Beagle over thirty years ago (A Fine and Private Place, and — of course — The Last Unicorn) and when I saw his dragon book was finally being published I just had to give it a read. I squealed when I was approved for this review, and I am so very glad I was given this opportunity.

Our protagonist, Gaius Aurelius Constantine Heliogabalus Thrax — or, as he prefers to be called, Robert — has inherited his father’s mantle of dragon exterminator, which is rather problematic as Robert actually loves dragons. And already that should tell you a bit about the humour and depth of this book: it’s a delight to read, very easy and very amusing, but also with a lot of substance. How Beagle conveys so much with his precise choice of words, I’ll never know, but I am deeply envious.

This is a short book, and details what happens when Robert is called to exterminate an infestation of dragons in the local castle ahead of the (presumed) engagement of the Princess Cerise, but then becomes part of a group setting out to kill a larger dragon in order to prove the worth of the suitor, Prince Reginald — not to the princess herself, but to his own father. And it just gets more involved from there.

I loved this book. I had forgotten the power of Beagle’s whimsical prose and his way of imparting both wisdom and astute societal observances (both of the world within this book and the world of the reader) with relative few words (and more than a touch of wryness). This was such a wondrous read — very fantastical, with a fully-realised world and well-rounded characters, with just the right amount of conflict. In this instance, the main conflict is about breaking free of what family and/or society dictates of you, and challenging long-held beliefs about dragons.

The plot was fast-paced and had just the right amount of depth to entrance but not overwhelm the reader. The dialogue was similarly quick and delightful, and descriptions were evocative and powerful. The worldbuilding was on-point and the dragons such an integral part of the world that it felt very realistic.

This is an emotional read and I was in tears at various points — particularly when Robert carries out the first wave of his duties at the castle. I love dragons and seeing the horrors of poor Robert’s trade was horrific (and all too true, especially if we think about other life in the place of dragons). It really made me feel for him, and I desperately wanted him to abandon his trade — though I couldn’t really see him as a valet to an important lord.

And yet, this book also had me laughing with pure joy — dear Adelise, Fernand, Lux, and Renald getting into mischief as dragons who share Robert’s home with his family. I couldn’t help but see the similarities between the house-dragons and my own cats (they are just as clumsy-yet-dignified, with that wondrous air of mystery about them).

Both Princess Cerise and her presumed intended, Prince Reginald, want to shake free of their pre-determined roles and follow their own paths. Cerise is definitely not the stereotypical princess, and Reginald is struggling under the yoke of his father’s demands. Over the course of the book, both of them — and Robert, also — undergo realisations and transformations to bring them to their true selves.

The dragons, also, get their moments of glory — particularly once the book’s antagonist enters the fray. Dahr is an unpleasant enemy, and I was on my feet yelling at his treatment of the dragons under his control. Seeing him get his (eventual) comeuppance was so satisfying and very appropriate for the story.

There was very little about this book that I didn’t like — the main thing being the extermination of dragons, and the treatment of them as vermin, which hurt my heart a lot. (I did go through rather a lot of Kleenex.) But how the dragons became so important and vibrant had me in a different type of tears altogether. I would have liked to see Robert return to the market and liberate the karchee dragons after all the adventuring was done.

All that said … I loved this book. It’s easily one of the best of the year for me, and I’ve already hunted down a hardcopy for me to hug to my dragon-loving heart. Highly, highly recommended. 


I received an e-ARC from the publisher, Saga Press, through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Peter Beagle makes a welcome return with I'm Afraid You've Got Dragons, a fun and easy read about an unwilling dragon exterminator who gets involved with a headstrong princess and a visiting prince who is expected to be a great hero (and who'd rather not do any of this heroics business, thank you very much), and quickly finds himself in way over his head trying to keep everyone from getting killed. Maybe he'll save the world while he's at it, too.

This book was an excellent read, especially when I wanted something funny that had just a little more kick to it than the usual satirical fantasy novel. Fantasy fans will eat this one up!

This is the perfect read for lovers of Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchet or How to Train Your Dragon - we follow a dragon exterminator who really wants to just free the dragons and be a knight's valet and a princess who just wants to stay home and read. This quick read is quirky, honest, whimsical, and moving. I loved it and am so grateful to #NetGalley and #SagaPress for the eARC!

I have been a long time fan of the movie of The Last Dragon, but I had never actually read the book until my nephew bought it for me for Christmas. I was delighted to find this sequel so quickly after finishing it.

Dragon exterminator Robert, Princess Cerisse, and Prince Reginald find their worlds colliding when there’s a new threat of magically bred dragons on the horizon.

And this lived up to all my expectations of Beagle. He has such a talent for lyrical writing that feels like a fairy tale. I am definitely going to need to pick up an audio copy of this, because it feels like it would be perfect read aloud around a campfire.

For all the briefness, we get some amazing character growth for all three of our main characters, dangerous adventure with some great tension, fun side characters, a little bit of romance, & a glimpse into a lush & fascinating world! I do wish that there were more done with Robert’s conflict with his compassion for the dragons he is tasked to exterminate.

Many thanks to Saga Press and NetGalley for the opportunity to review this arc.

I was so excited to read Peter S. Beagle's new book as I am a HUGE fan of the Last Unicorn. Unfortunately, this book left me disappointed. I struggled to really like any of the characters, including the protagonist with a horrendously long name who goes by the name of Robert. I felt Princess Cerisse wanted to be Molly Grew but without the grit. I did enjoy the stereotypical handsome prince that is Prince Reginald, even if he is an idiot.

Some of the plot felt like they were based off another dragon series I have read previously.

I found the ending to be confusing and rather abrupt. I found myself re-reading some passages to try and make sense of things but I was still left feeling like I missed something.

It was not a bad book but I had high hopes given how much I loved The Last Unicorn and this one did not hit the mark.

My thanks to S&S/Saga Press and Netgalley for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I’m really sad that this has been withdrawn from publication, and really chuffed that I managed to get to read it.
I loved it, it was funny and clever and really entertaining. Great characters, a fun concept and I’m really excited to read more from this author.
Keeping fingers crossed that I will own a proper copy one day soon.
Thank you NetGalley.

Given how fantastic and eye-catching the premise of I’m Afraid You’ve Got Dragons is, I can’t help but feel a little let down in this book’s execution. What we have here is a perfectly fine classic fantasy novel in my opinion, though I feel the setup had the potential to be something truly special. I love the idea of a sympathetic dragon ‘exterminator’, and really wanted this to play a bigger part in the novel. I won’t give away any of the plot, but I was disappointed when the book veered away from this setup into what I’d consider a weaker and less original story idea.

The story was originally written back in the early 2000s, but was never actually released. Now debuting in 2024, it has a charmingly classic feel compared to its modern contemporaries, almost like a time capsule of fantasy writing from a few decades ago. From the traditional setting to the style of characters, and even the typeface of the novel, feel strangely nostalgic! If the book were written fully in the last few years, I wonder if the story would have stayed small in scope in line with modern cosy titles, rather than moving into the traditional fare of 20 years ago.

Lead character Robert has taken over his late father’s business of local dragon exterminator, but is begrudging to follow in his father’s footsteps due to his love of the scaly beasts. A sudden need to clear the ruling king’s castle of pesky rodent-sized dragons (to impress a royal suitor to marry the princess), Robert is called up to the castle to rid the walls of as many dragons as possible. All three lead characters are eager to escape or subvert their destined fates in some way, so the story felt like more of a journey of inner discovery more than plot advancement, though the plot did move forward fairly consistently throughout. My two main gripes character-wise were related to the number of characters, and definition of the main protagonists. I got the sense that there were too many characters in the book for how simple the plot was, and many felt unnecessary or surplus to the story. The lead characters we did have seemed to lose all sense of identity and personality in the second half of the novel; one action scene near the end comes to mind, where all involved characters seem to possess the same bravery, wit and skill with a blade.

I thought this book was going to be a lot cosier than it was, and was fully expecting to recommend it to fans of Legends and Lattes and Can’t Spell Treason Without Tea; instead I’d probably recommend this title to fans of your classic medieval fantasy classics, such as Terry Brooks, John Gwynne and Tad Williams. This is a solid fantasy novel that I had a good time reading despite my reservations, and will most likely find fans from both aforementioned subgenres.

Why even bother writing a review, or reading one? It's a book by Peter S. Beagle; what else do you need to know?

Something about its preoccupations, maybe. To wit: courage; the desire to have a decent life that doesn't involve heroism; responsibility; doing work that you hate and that is destroying your soul; the varieties of paternal love, including a kind that shows itself in both cruelty and unquestioning self-sacrifice; romantic infatuation and the kind of love that comes with intimacy, respect, the survival together of great trials. Oh, and of course power: who do you become when it turns out you've got some? (Or do you?)

I have one quibble, which is that Robert is the teensiest bit slow on the uptake with respect to the existence of his special relationship with dragons. (This is barely a spoiler, I promise.) So, you know, 4.75 stars. But seriously: Peter S. Beagle.

It was fun to return to Beagle's writing after so long a time. He gives us a witty and charming story full of quirky characters and events. If you liked the Last Unicorn then you'll probably be laughing along with this one!

Robert is a dragon exterminator and he hates it. Princess Cerise is bored with her suitors and trying to learn to read. Prince Reginald is absolutely hopeless but his father will NOT permit him to fail. When the three of them end up hunting dragons together they find far more than they bargained for.

Beagle does an excellent job building the everyday world of the kingdom as well as the dragons. I could probably have read a book entirely about the dragons and been happy, but the humor and wryness of the story and its characters paired with the more serious vein of soul searching delivers a richer read. Though it takes a little while for the action to get going, the build up is necessary to give the characters somewhere to grow from. Thoroughly enjoyable.

Thank you to Saga Press and NetGalley for the opportunity to read I'm Afraid You've Got Dragons early in exchange for a review.

An absolutely joyful book, but I'm a Beagle fan to start with. A fun story, the words flow well and build a poetic world for fans of Terry Prachett.

I'm Afraid You've Got Dragons by Peter S. Beagle was a fun and enchanting middle grade fantasy read. This title is a perfect one to pick up for those who are already fans of the author but also an excellent starting point if you are new to Beagle's works. I will be nabbing a physical copy for myself as soon as possible.

I read The Last Unicorn years ago and didn’t necessarily have the adoring response that seems typical in the fantasy world—it probably doesn’t help that there’s an energy drink named after the villain—but I was privileged to read some of Peter S. Beagle’s short fiction last year in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, and it definitely made me want to seek out more of his work. With a short novel appearing on the horizon, I thought I’m Afraid You’ve Got Dragons seemed as good a place as any to dive back in. 

I’m Afraid You’ve Got Dragons follows a tender-hearted young man who has reluctantly taken over his father’s vocation as a dragon-exterminator in a world where dragons can range from the size of rats all the way up to the classic awe-inspiring creatures of legend. He’s looking for a way out, and a pair of jobs for royal customers may give him that opportunity—if he survives them. 

This is in many ways a classic, whimsical fantasy adventure, complete with a not-quite-farmboy with hidden abilities, a prince and princess chafing against their parents’ expectation, a sorcerer with a bone to pick, and plenty of dragons. Most of the characters play pretty closely to type, and the older generation of royals are outright caricatures, but this is meant to be a lighthearted fantasy adventure, not a character study. 

And as a whimsical fantasy adventure, it’s pretty successful. Reader experience will doubtless vary depending on how much they enjoy the storytelling, but Beagle writes well, and if the book spends most of the first third on royal silliness and ordinary (fantasy) extermination, a book of only about 300 pages doesn’t really have time to bog down. 

Unsurprisingly, given my own tastes, my favorite parts were the slow revelation of mysterious dangers and hints at the lead’s mysterious abilities, because I’m generally a sucker for revelations of hidden things. The royal absurdities, the romantic subplot, and the magical showdown at the end were all perfectly well-written, but those also aren’t the elements that really drive me to pick up a book. If they’re the elements that drive you to pick up a book, you’ll probably like them even more than I did! 

Overall, I wouldn’t call this an especially ambitious book, but it’s one that does a pretty good job at what it’s trying to do. It’s not going to define a subgenre, but it’s worth a look for anyone looking for some extra whimsy in their lives or feeling some nostalgia for classic adventure fantasy. 

Recommended if you like: traditional adventure fantasy with dragons and plenty of whimsy.

Overall rating: 14 of Tar Vol's 20. Four stars on Goodreads.

From the New York Times bestselling author of The Last Unicorn comes a new novel with equal amounts of power and whimsy in which a loveable cast of characters trapped within their roles of dragon hunter, princess, and more must come together to take their fates into their own hands.

Peter S. Beagle is back at it again with another delightful fantasy story. I really enjoyed this and think anyone who's read his work in the past will enjoy it too!