Member Reviews
With helpful, actionable tips, Hailey Magee successfully adds to the cannon of self-help with a mindful approach regarding why people pleasers seek adoration.
finally finished this one! as with anything non-fic that may also target difficult behaviors, i read this in chunks and reflected between sections. i didn't care a lot for the personal stories, but i like hailey a lot online and there was a lot in this that made me think and connect with my own behaviors. i'd recommend!
This book was written really well, it was well thought out and communicated. I liked how it gave multiple perspectives and scenarios to really help me understand the situation and healthy responses. I like how it specifies the difference of a situation if you people please because of trauma. This was definitely an eye opening book and really resonated with me.
I DNFed this one at 72% for a few reasons. One being the “real life” stories became too much. I didn’t care what others did in what felt like the scripted situations I wanted the meat and potatoes of what I could do. Two, it began to feel super repetitive. I struggled with this one from the beginning and it took me exceptionally long to get through. I probably should have DNFed sooner but I so wanted it to be good.
s much as I am not a fan of “life coaches” (I think it is a made up profession for people that want to be therapists without going through the hassle of getting a degree or licensed) I legit enjoyed this book. I liked the explanations within the chapters of what is to come later on. The author provided very realistic and logical examples of all the concepts that she presented. I appreciate the author speaking about the importance of recognizing our needs as imperative to wellbeing. Individuals that people please typically lose a significant sense of self. There was a part in here that said “we anticipate our need will not be met, so we don’t even ask” and ouch…..that statement hit home. People pleasing is such a common trait for individuals to have that leads to depression and anxiety.
I loved the breakdown on the boundary setting sections. I highly recommend this book if you would consider yourself a people pleaser.
Thank you NetGalley for providing me with an ARC for an honest review.
Outstanding. I am a long-time fan of Hailey MaGee's instagram platform and messaging, and in many ways feel like she's been one of the only people to 'get through' to me to help me with my patterns of people pleasing. This book took it to the next level and I'm definitely going to be rereading it again and again.
Stop People Pleasing: And Find Your Power is an interesting and enlightening self-help manual by life coach Hailey Magee for folks who have a tendency to support and help others always, even at the cost of their own well-being. Released 14th May 2024 by Simon & Schuster, it's 352 pages and is available in hardcover, audio, and ebook formats. It's worth noting that the ebook format has a handy interactive table of contents as well as interactive links and references throughout.
This is an in-depth workbook full of deep and meaningful discussions on trauma behaviors, "people pleasing" - what it is (and isn't), how it happens, how it gets deeply imbedded in our personalities, how to recognize the difference between kindness and empathy (positive attributes) and people pleasing (generally negative/harmful).
The author has an accessible and understandable non-judgemental style of writing, and readers are gently drawn along. There is apparently no "magic bullet" to replace doing the work involved in changing these deep seated behaviors... but for those who are interested in learning how to set boundaries and how to be kind and supportive without it coming at a prohibitive cost to our well being, there is a lot of valuable info contained here.
The book is divided into four sections: Finding ourselves, Standing up for ourselves, Taking care of ourselves, and Enriching ourselves. Each section builds on the ones before - from defining what people pleasing is and how it becomes such an ingrained part of our personalities, through setting boundaries and re-discovering the real joy of kindness and giving without hurting ourselves doing it.
There is frank discussion throughout the book on trauma (psychological and sexual), healing, guilt, anger, and a lot of negative emotion. It was quite painful to read in places.
Although it's written in layman accessible language, it is well annotated throughout, and the chapter notes will provide lots of resources for further reading.
Four and a half stars. This book has a lot of salient, useful information for readers who are interested in discontinuing the pattern of making themselves smaller and not taking up space, and who tend to sublimate their own needs and desires in order to always defer to others.
Disclosure: I received an ARC at no cost from the author/publisher for review purposes.
Let me start by thanking @netgalley for the opportunity to read this ARC that I’m behind on finishing. I was super optimistic going into this book, as I definitely identify as a recovering people pleaser.
I personally ended up a little disappointed. I feel like this book was not ready to be released. There were multiple sentences that just weren’t finished, and entire chapter that felt like it didn’t belong with the rest of the book, and kind of a hurried ending. I will say, there is definite good advice at the beginning, but you don’t have to read the whole book
Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for this eARC.
“Stop People Pleasing: And Find Your Power” by Hailey Magee is a transformative work that delves into the depths of self-discovery and empowerment. Magee, a viral life coach, presents a practical and empathetic guide to breaking the chains of people-pleasing—a behavior pattern that often undermines our careers, relationships, and overall well-being.
Magee’s book is not just another self-help manual with generic advice; it is a journey of reconnection with one’s true self. The author’s personal struggle with people-pleasing adds a layer of authenticity and relatability that is often missing in similar works. Her narrative is a testament to the fact that change begins from within, and it is only by understanding our own feelings, needs, values, and desires that we can truly advocate for ourselves.
The book is structured around poignant questions that prompt introspection, such as “How can I tell when my genuine kindness veers into people-pleasing?” and “How can I set boundaries while maintaining my empathy and generosity?” Magee’s approach is nuanced, acknowledging the complexity of human emotions and the difficulty in breaking long-established patterns.
What sets this book apart is its blend of social science, psychology, and hands-on coaching exercises. These elements work in concert to provide readers with the tools they need to end cycles of enmeshment and codependency, overcome guilt, and develop physical and sexual agency. Magee’s writing is clear and accessible, making the book a valuable resource for anyone looking to reclaim their power and live life on their own terms.
“Stop People Pleasing: And Find Your Power” is a beacon of hope for those who have long felt trapped in the cycle of pleasing others at the expense of their own happiness.
This is a book that does more than just instruct—it inspires, empowers, and transforms.
Everyone would benefit from reading Hailey Magee's "Stop People Pleasing" whether you're a people pleaser or know someone who is.
Many of us grew up with - and subsequently found ourselves surrounded by - people who were distant, avoidant, and/or emotionally unavailable. Our experiences with them often led us to believe that what we want and need from our relationships is unreasonable. But this isn't true, and Magee offers an inclusive and nuanced look at the ways in which we sacrifice and hide ourselves to the benefit of others. She teaches readers how to uncover their relational needs, provides a (partial) list of reasonable needs, a way to distinguish between requests and boundaries, and so much more. There are plenty of stories - both personal and about her clients - that demonstrate how ending people pleasing behaviors benefit you.
This book belongs in the hands of anyone you know who frequently puts others' needs before their own, has difficulty saying no, seeks external validation, or struggles to be assertive.
I received an Advanced Reader Copy of this book from NetGalley and Simon & Schuster in exchange for an honest review.
"For people-pleasers, the idea that prioritising our own needs is selfish can be hard to shake." p. 44
This book is a thorough examination of people-pleasing behavior, which is defined as irrationally placing someone else's needs above your own. In it, Hailey Paige Magee, describes the reasons why people come people pleasers and descriptions of things that could be done to move away from people pleasing and to ensure that you are taking care of your own needs. "When we procrastinate our needs, we feel a sense of broken trust with ourselves: there is something we need to do that we haven't done, which can leave us feeling self-critical and, ironically, more overwhelmed than we'd feel if we were to simply complete the task." p 50. This book offers examples and cases studies as well as ways to examine why you are engaging in this behavior and what you can do about it.
If you have ever felt that are a people-pleaser and can't seem to shake those habits, I would recommend this book!
This is a great guide to under mats ring the origins of people-pleasing behaviors and challenging those patterns.
I throughly enjoyed this book. Very practical, and easy to relate too! Everyone needs boundaries. Overall it’s very useful! Thank you for the opportunity to read and review this ARC.
Thank you, NetGalley for the opportunity to read this early release book. I’ve always struggled with being a people pleaser and I’m slowly learning to get away from those behaviors.
This book had a lot of great suggestions; tips, and stories.
Highly recommend this book to everyone! It was very good for a personal development book.
As long time people pleaser, I was grateful to get to read this book, and can't wait to implement some of the ideas from it.
Haley Magee had been a people pleaser for most of her life - that type of behavior was natural for her, whether she was going out of her way to help friends and family or even strangers. She was often exhausted, and it created problems in her own life. Finally, she made the decision to break the unhealthy pattern of living she found herself in.
After much research, the conclusion that much of this behavior develops in childhood as self-preservation. Often just ordinary kindness can be also can be confused with people pleasing. Helpful advice is provided how to break unhealthy patterns and ending the cycle of constantly feeling the need to take care of the needs of others. This book will guide you to better relationships with family and friends and help determine the difference in offering kindness or continuing being a people pleaser.
I received a complimentary copy of this book. All comments and opinions are my own.
Hailey comes into Stop Pleasing with a direct and consice approach. Giving lots of examples on how to set boundaries and feel like your being heard. This book felt approachable and not dry for a non fiction. I truly think this book was helpful and worth the read! Will be buying a hard copy to go with this digital version.
Thank you to NetGalley and Simon and Schuster publishing for the advanced ARC of this. I am not a typical "self" help reader.
However, when I saw the title of this book it spoke to me. A notorious self proclaimed people pleaser, I felt like I could use some tips to change this about myself.
I was blown away how much I felt like the author was speaking directly to me. As she shares and reflects on her own experiences, it was so relatable. This book was great for self reflection and setting boundaries.
I realized so much about "people pleasing" is being unsure about myself. I know I have a lot of work to do and will have to practice some of these things repeatedly, but I really think this book provides wonderful tools and insight.
The author never lectures, which typically makes me hate self help books. There is no self-righteousness here, you can tell the author has done a lot of reflection, work, and research into helping others who live to please others.
Highly recommend.
This book was a game-changer for me. It felt like Hailey Magee was speaking right to my soul, addressing the people-pleasing tendencies that have been holding me back for so long. Her personal journey adds a relatable touch, making the advice feel genuine and actionable. What I loved most is how she doesn't just tell you to set boundaries and speak up; she guides you through reconnecting with yourself first, which is where real change starts. The mix of practical exercises and insightful questions helped me uncover layers I didn't even know were there. If you're tired of saying yes when you really want to say no, this book is a must-read.
I have to admit, at first, I was skeptical. Another self-help book claiming to have all the answers? But Stop People Pleasing surprised me. It's not just about saying no or setting boundaries; it's about understanding why we feel the need to please others in the first place. Magee dives deep into the psychology behind it all, offering empathy and understanding every step of the way. Her approach is refreshingly nuanced, acknowledging that it's not always easy to break free from these patterns. By the end, I felt empowered and ready to start advocating for myself in a way I never thought possible. Highly recommend for anyone ready to reclaim their power and live life on their own terms.
In "Stop People Pleasing And Find Your Power," Hailey Magee offers a practical, empathetic, and inspiring guide to breaking the patterns of people-pleasing that can harm our careers, relationships, and overall well-being. Drawing from her own personal experiences, Magee provides a refreshingly nuanced approach to overcoming the urge to constantly put others' needs before our own.
For much of her life, Magee found herself falling into the trap of people-pleasing without even realizing it. It wasn't until she recognized the toll it was taking on her physical, emotional, and psychic health that she knew she needed to make a change.
Instead of simply advocating for setting boundaries, Magee emphasizes the importance of reconnecting with oneself and understanding one's own feelings, needs, values, and desires. Through a combination of social science, psychology, and hands-on coaching exercises, she guides readers through the process of breaking free from the cycle of people-pleasing and reclaiming their power.
"Stop People Pleasing And Find Your Power" addresses fundamental questions such as how to differentiate between genuine kindness and people-pleasing, how to set boundaries while maintaining empathy and generosity, and when it's appropriate to compromise on one's needs.
With fresh insight, heartfelt empathy, and a keen personal understanding of the pitfalls of people-pleasing, Magee helps readers say what they need and get what they deserve. This book is a must-read for anyone who is ready to break free from the patterns of people-pleasing and step into their own power and authenticity.