A gorgeous memoir filled with vulnerability, honesty, and lots and lots of grace. Jessica Waite takes us through the heavy, complicated, and oh-so-messy grief journey and presents her experiences with clarity, honesty, and insight. What a gift for those experiencing grief, heartbreak, and/or betrayal. Deeply nourishing.

The first half was very compelling and emotional. The author relays her experience after her husband dies suddenly. After his death she learns that he was up to a lot of shady behaviors and has to come to terms with this new opnion of him while supporting her son who is now fatherless. About half way through the tone shifts from factual to metaphysical. She becomes focused on whether her husband is trying to communicate with her from beyond the grave.

I recommend this for readers of memoir.

The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards was a fun read. I liked the character exploration and the writing was propulsive. I would read more from this author.

I think this is a book that can be a 5 star read when it hits the reader at the right time. I felt like the humor was really being promoted here as well as the shock of learning the truths of someone you loved. There was much much more of a focus on grief and the healing process. It was spiritual and wide ranging. This would be much more impact full if read while grieving. The humor was rich early on and in some of the excellent chapter titles but then took a backseat to the grief. Likewise the title prepares you to really rally against the dead husband but at the end we see him as a much more well rounded human capable of deep love as well as deep pain.
Thanks to Netgalley and Atria Books for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review

I don’t usually read memoirs and I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I requested Jessica Waite’s book from Netgalley based almost entirely on the title, The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards. This is the story of one woman’s journey through grief, forgiveness, and acceptance, beautifully written with even a touch of self-aware humour and, in the end, hope. The book is divided into two parts. In the first, Jessica discusses her shock when she learns her husband, Sean, had died of a heart attack in a hotel room in Texas while on a business trip. He was 47. Her grief and shock at suddenly finding herself a widow at 44 and, now, the sole parent of a nine-year-old boy, quickly turned to anger when she discovers his extensive and secret stash of porn as well as massive credit card debt for hotel rooms, escort services, gambling, and marijuana.

But even as she is overwhelmed by her anger and sense of betrayal, she also deals with her sense of loss, her continued love for him despite it all, her loneliness, and the seemingly endless depths of grief. In the second half of her story, she discusses her efforts to deal with these tangled emotions. Including, among other things, message therapy, group drumming sessions, even a medium. Eventually, she looks into Indigenous practices of dealing with grief and she learns to accept her emotions, to not beat herself up or try to set time limits on it, that there is no set rule for how long or how to grieve a dead bastard.

Thanks to Netgalley and Atria Books for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review

Reviewing a memoir is a bit different from my usual preference (fiction and history), but the title of this one is irresistible…. to a crime writer like me and doubtless to many other readers as well. The cartoon cover paired with this title gives the impression it’s going to be a lively romp through a series of possibly criminal revelations, resulting in some chick-lit pop-psych resolution.

Prepare to be surprised. This is ‘The Year of Magical Thinking’ for the Star Wars and Facebook generation. And it is not so much a guide as a groping for solid ground underfoot where there seems only quicksand, and for a few reliable guides through the strange terrain that now overlays the familiar home and community.

Widow’s Guide is a thoughtful, heartfelt exploration of an unraveling marriage to an unstable man. With all possible resolutions sheared off at the knees by his sudden death, his relatively young widow is left adrift in a sea of shattering secrets, facing a debt burden that threatens the very roof over her head. Intent on providing a precarious stability for their pre-teen son, she’s supported through the inevitable tasks of death management by a mother and in-laws eager to take an active part despite their own grief. Our new widow must decide daily how much to reveal to them about the husband she—and they—hardly knew.

The large cast, many of whom share the same last name, can blur together, but some characters stand out through significant interactions. Good use is made of flashbacks, gradually revealing the darkness at the heart of the seemingly perfect marriage and charming, loving husband. The suspense about the insurance pulls us through the early, establishing chapters, and then we begin, with our narrator, to consider revenge against those who abetted his many deceptions.

This memoir walks a delicate balance between exposing the husband’s secret life, its impact on his shattered wife and adoring son, her healing process, and exploring the sources of his demons. While ultimately compassionate, it’s not always pretty, and you may find yourself feeling judgmental about some of her decisions and actions. It might also leave you second-guessing how much you really know about the people closest to you.

The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards by Jessica Waite is a moving, memoir of loss and grief.
A poignant journey that kept me glued to my Kindle.
This emotional and heartbreaking read was very well written.

Thank You NetGalley and Atria Books for your generosity and gifting me a copy of this amazing eARC!

I'd be lying if I said I didn't request this from NetGalley because of the title. It's a GREAT title. But also, it is a great memoir. This is about a widow's shock and grief after the sudden passing of her husband and ultimately about her reconciliation between who she thought her husband was, and the man he turned out to be (she makes some wild discoveries after his death). While this is what drew me in to the book, I actually like the direction it went in the later chapters - as Jess searches for signs of her husband. As you're reading you navigate through Jess's journey with grief and her healing process. The supernatural stuff went a bit out there, but I really found it to be fascinating anyway. This memoir is honest and raw, both beautiful and heartbreaking, but ultimately hopeful. Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced copy - look for this title next week (7/30/24). I do hope this is a book people notice (because of the title) but end up reading and enjoying as well.

Agree with the many reviews that this is a memoir in two parts. The first part is as described in the synopsis- a gripping, honest look at a widow's grief and discovery of her husband's secret life. A memoir with an almost true crime feel. The second part feels like it comes out of left field. Jessica takes us through her attempts to connect and then finally say goodbye to her husband who's life ended early. It was this surprise dive into the metaphysical that caused me to skim until the end.

This book evoked strong heartbreaking emotions. Book follows Jessica’s story of her husband’s unexpected death and finding out his secrets. I really enjoyed this honest grief memoir.

Thank you to Atria Books and NetGalley for this ARC

How does a loving wife grieve the unexpected, sudden death of her husband and then deal with the competing emotions of disbelief and anger and the questions of what parts of her life were real and what parts were a factor of her husband’s lies and deceit? Wow !
Jessica Waite lays out a first chapter that reeled me in ( actually, the title and book cover started that action as I think about it ) and the first 1/2 of the book was a compelling, intriguing read… one I could hardly believe. As I read her story I kept asking myself was she truly invested in her marriage ? Was she asleep at the wheel as her husband led this unbelievable life of porn, debt, lies and a longstanding affair ? But, putting that aside the first half of the book deals with the revelations… and they just kept coming !
The second half dealt with her ‘ trying’ to move on with her life, and to work to put her husband’s transgressions in a solid place for her to move forward in raising her son and to get herself out of the mess her husband left her in when he died on a business trip.
I enjoyed the first half more than the second half yet I recognize each half needs the other to be a complete story.

The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards is a poignant, occasionally gut-wrenching memoir of loss, grief, and betrayal by Jessica Waite. Due out 30th July 2024 from Simon & Schuster on their Atria imprint, it's 320 pages and will be available in hardcover, audio, and ebook formats. It's worth noting that the ebook format has a handy interactive table of contents as well as interactive links and references throughout.

How well does anyone -really- know the people closest to them? That's one of the fundamental hard philosophical questions the author is forced to confront when her husband passes away very unexpectedly and suddenly whilst out of town. In the midst of a haze of raw grief, she discovers that he's been living a double life for -years- during (and before) their marriage, involving drug abuse, paid sex, affairs, and financial skullduggery leaving her even more vulnerable and angry than she otherwise should've been.

The book arose from her journals and attempts to write her way through the grieving and betrayals, and process some of what she was going through. So much of her writing is raw and honest. The book has definitely tapped into the current zeitgeist and there's immense buzz around it pre-release. It's marketed as non-fiction, either way, it's very well and effectively written.

Four stars. Quite emotional and difficult to read in places. The last half of the book is an odd combination of the author trying to make sense of her new reality and looking for signs of redemption or communication from her late husband and came across as a bit woo-woo for a straight grief memoir. Still at the end of the day it's a well written book in a popular genre with massive pre-publication publicity and will undoubtedly do very well.

Disclosure: I received an ARC at no cost from the author/publisher for review purposes.

Despite its provocative title and description, this memoir is a moving exploration of a wife's grief following the sudden death of her husband in his forties. When Waite's spouse, Sean, dies unexpectedly while on a business trip, he leaves behind a 44-year-old wife and their beloved 9-year-old son. Overwhelmed by her loss, Waite also grapples with the secrets she uncovers—secrets Sean had concealed for years. To the world, Sean was a committed husband, father, and the sole provider for his family. Yet, behind this veneer, there was much more hidden. His temperament and motivation were often unpredictable. After Sean's death abroad, his wife, Jess, is left to assemble the fragments of their life and navigate her new reality as a single parent. In her mourning, she discovers her husband's longstanding affair and undisclosed debts. Despite these revelations, Waite depicts him with complexity: a man who was deeply loving but also deeply flawed, struggling to be better.

Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for providing this ARC. All thoughts are my own.

The story is compelling but the writing is absolutely awful. This is one of the rare occasions where a ghost writer would have saved the day!

Thank you to NetGalley and Atria Books for providing me with an electronic advance reader copy.

Jessica Waite's debut memoir delves into the profound grief following her husband of 15 years. She candidly confronts the secrets she uncovered afterward. Her storytelling balances complexity with humor. Waite's writing skills and distinct voice are evident on every page, allowing her personality to shine even amidst the darkest moments. I appreciated her unwavering honesty regarding all the details.

I didn't realize this was a memoir and I was interested in reading it because it sounded like a woman learning her strength from a terrible situation. However, it appears to be a true story, and it is so much more because of that. Even though the book is about a woman finding out that her husband betrayed her, the author is able to show how complicated the situation was and the almost endless parade of emotions that followed her husband's death.
I have been dealing with grief for the last few years, as multiple family members have died leaving behind their messes. None of the problems were directed at me, but that was what made me able to relate to the myriad of emotions the author experienced. I would recommend this book for anyone and everyone who has been struggling dealing with complicated emotions after a loved one dies. It's not simple, as new days and new situations can dredge up memories and issues that seemed unimportant at the time. This for me was an amazing analysis of the journey in dealing with those complicated emotions.
Thanks to NetGalley for letting me read this.

This book was exactly what I needed after I finished a fictional high speed chase romance. The beginning was sharp and witty, and I was gasping right along with the author as she revealed her husband's terrible TERRIBLE secrets. She uncovered lie, after lie, and reaffirmed that men are the worst. From uncovering a porn addiction to multiple betrayals, Jess's journey is a rollercoaster of anger and disbelief. It's infuriating how the husband's deceitful past unravels posthumously, leaving her grappling with unresolved emotions. However, around the halfway mark, the memoir loses of its initial grip and veering into moments where the protagonist grapples with conflicting memories of her husband's flawed yet redeeming qualities. It becomes more about her and unpacking her own grief than it does about his betrayal. While it loses some steam, the book remains a poignant exploration of grief, betrayal, and the tangled web of emotions that accompany loss.

Clever title, intriguing premise, shocking intro, but....The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards shocks the reader from page one when Jessica finds her husband has been hiding some dark secrets from her, and now that he died unexpectedly at the age of 47, there is nothing she can do about it.

I expected the author to take the reader through a more in-depth journey, but she only scratched the surface of his misdeeds. When she expressed anger in her writing, I felt for her. I could see the no-win situation, hopeless she had found herself in. She wanted to be able to hold her late husband accountable, yet there was no avenue in order for her to do so. Her writing felt most raw and sincere the few moments she shared her anger and frustration with the readers.

I struggled with the 2nd half of the book. It jumped all over trying to highlight her journey to find peace through several different avenues. The second half felt like a completely different book. I applaud her for writing her journey so candidly, I don't think many people would want to share all that she has shared, so although this was a four star start with two star ending, I'm going to rate it three stars for her courage to write her story.

Thanks Atria Books and Netgalley for this ARC.

This book by far exceeded my expectations. I had no idea what I was getting myself into but I’m so glad I read this.
The author talks about her husbands death and the secrets she uncovered.
There is so much emotion in this and you can really feel for the author. I felt really connected as a single mother.

Thank you to Atria Books and NetGalley for this ARC. This book is almost like two different books. I was actually 46% of the way through the book when I realized I was reading a memoir; I hadn't remembered that as I began to read. It does read more like a novel, which I consider to be a good thing. Since her husband Sean dropped dead of a massive heart attack, she has to deal with the fact that he was addicted to porn and probably a sex addict and undiagnosed bipolar disorder. A few years ago there was a movie where this happened to George Clooney, his wife died in a tragic accident and he had to piece together that she was having an affair and wanting to leave him. In this case, they did have a very different marriage. I felt pretty sorry for the deceased in the first half, I was preparing to say that the "main character" wasn't really being fair to him. Then as I realized- this is a true story based on how she remembers it- I can't judge her for how she met Grief. It was really sad. Clearly Sean struggled with some demons, but I honestly believe he was a good person, good boss, good dad and in some ways, a good husband. I am sure he kept his struggles from his wife because he didn't know he was running out of time. I am sure he thought he could "fix things" without causing her pain. At that, he was wrong. The second half is a lot more disjointed and trying to make sense of her longer term grief. There are some supernatural elements. I do think she is a good writer, I just am not sure she told the story she meant to tell. Although I didn't love this one, I will connect with the author and follow her other work. I just think this project may have been a bit ambitious and missed the mark for me.