This is exactly what I hoped it would be. Great writing and super interesting characters. A little too short for my liking. I think this could’ve been an all time favorite if it was longer. Then it could’ve been more in depth and had a longer lasting impact! I’ll be definitely recommending this book though.

Cream is one of those stories where you’re never sure where it’s actually going to end up until it’s too late.

Zac’s life is on a downward slope. Haunted by the non-consensual release of a video made with another boy from uni, he drops out and runs away from the life he was used to. Finding himself working at the local holiday park, he is assigned to the Ice Cream shack, where he meets the charming, rich son of the holiday park owner, Jake.

Zac is instantly infatuated with Jake and finds any excuse to get closer to him. Even if Jake has a girlfriend. Events culminate one night at a beach party where Jake’s girlfriend, Tasmin, is found dead amongst the sand dunes.

Zac decides to play detective and discover who killed Tasmin, using only a burner phone and her diary as his clues. What follows is Zac’s slow descent into madness where he stops being able to distinguish between reality and hallucination.

🍦

This was wild. And dark. You have to feel sorry for Jake, already a victim of an idiot who uploaded an explicit video for all to see, unsure what his next steps are. His instant obsession with Jake is understandable as Jake appears to be the only person who hasn’t seen the video, and is friendly towards him.

It’s almost painful to watch him descend into madness, and you initially think you know what is causing it. You think you, as the reader, know what is real and not. But you are proven wrong on numerous occasions.

Honestly, there was one part I guessed early on, the identity of Tasmin’s murderer, but the rest was not at all what I expected. Maybe it was a bit left of field, but somehow it still worked. Once I read it, it clicked and made sense. And that is a sign of good story telling.

3.25 stars
There’s a lot of delirious-ness and demented scenes through this dark novel. It was a little unexpected and different from what I normally read which was enticing. I didn’t expect the level of vulgarity that this book would embark on.
I appreciated that the readers didn’t know what was going on alongside Zac. I kept wondering whether there was some reality in his delusions or if he was just having a mental freakout. You sympathize with him but as the novel progresses the reader feels like they know and trust him less and less. I enjoyed questioning my perception of Zac. The ending wasn’t interesting and some of it felt like a too cliché/easy way to reveal the culprit.

The blurb described it as a «Fever dream of mystery, horniness and madness», but that’s just the tip of this trippy, psychotic iceberg.
I’m still not quite sure I enjoyed the ride on the crazy Zac train, but the author did a good job of keeping me hooked and wanting to know how everything would pan out.
For how much I didn’t really enjoy the plot or the characters, the writing was absolutely exceptional. The contradiction between the graphic and gory “dream” scenes, the snippets of normal teenage life and the beach ambience made for a captivating scenario that just keeps pulling you under, making you feel one with the craziness, making you doubt your own eyes as your reading.

When I finished this book, I had the same thoughts and feelings that I had after reading American Psycho. "Was all that real? Was it all in his head?" and like American Psycho, I really enjoyed reading it.
Written from Zac's POV drew me into the story straight away and my heart broke for him as he did not deserve what had happened to him. I just wanted to take him away from it all.
After that fatal night we follow Zac as he tries to investigate who was behind the murder, but as his thoughts get jumbled between fantasy and reality. as a reader even I was doubting myself who was behind it all. Which I loved as I do not like guessing/knowing from the start,
yes some of the scenes are graphic giving it that horror feel and the whodunnit feel gave it the thriller element making it a book I couldn't put down,
I am definitely adding this author to my list of want to read,

Part thriller, part mystery, part sexual journey... This book was a refreshing piece of horror with just the right amount of "juice" splashed in. Or should I say "cream"? I felt like the steamy scenes weren't overdone, and didn't feel thrown in willy-nilly like they are with some other (for lack of a better term) smut-laced stories. Really the story is the mystery, and the psychological journey you're taken on with the main character. This story was weird and thrilling and managed to pull an ending off that was definitely warped from what I had expected--which I wasn't sure of anyway, to be honest, and didn't matter much. I was there for the ride, and I enjoyed every f*cked up moment of it! I will definitely read more of Jay H.D.

The narrator was a little too unreliable for me to truly get into this. His delusions would go on for pages, only for us to find out that nothing ever happened.

It would be one thing if I wanted to know more about his character but he was just an odd mix of boring and unlikable for me.

Explore the intricacies of Jay H.D.'s "Cream," where the enigmatic narrator, Zac, takes readers on a journey through a compelling mix of dark humor and surreal mystery. The story unfolds against the backdrop of a beach and Zac's summer job at an unconventional ice cream vendor, setting a distinctive and unsettling atmosphere. Throughout the narrative, ambiguity reigns supreme as Zac grapples with internal struggles, blurring the lines between reality and hallucination.

The novel's allure lies in its engaging narrative, drawing readers into a tale that is both dark and intricate. As Zac confronts his own demons, the plot unfolds with a series of unsettling events, challenging preconceptions and pushing the boundaries of sanity. The characters exist in morally ambiguous shades, and relationships are deliberately strained, adding layers of complexity to the story. With a unique writing style and a first-person perspective, the narrative offers a captivating exploration of obsession, desire, and mystery without revealing crucial plot spoilers.

Unputdownable.

It is really important that you understand this: you have to read this book. I mean, I do think you have to read this book but I don’t want to say a lot about the story because the less you know about it, the better.
And the less you know about the plot, the most you’re going to enjoy it. actually, I do think that the editor or author should cut the book’s description at least just a bit.

However, I’m going to tell you some interesting things about this work because that’s what reviews are about. But if you want to enjoy this book at its 100% then stop reading this review and start reading the book.

First, what I said in the title is true. I read the whole thing within a day, something that doesn’t happen to every book, and something I don’t usually do anymore (it’s 2am right now). And that’s because it is VERY immersive, we actually share the confusion that the main character is feeling and we ask ourselves the same questions he asks to himself. The more we read, the more we are going to think what is happening? because there’s too much going on at once.

I really like books where the main characters that are teenagers act like teenagers. So yeah, I really liked Zac: shy and lonely but with an outstanding desire to be part of something and to be loved by someone. And he is the best part of the whole thing.

Unreliable narrators are… complicated. And I think that’s the reason they are not commonly exploited within written fiction.
The way Zac play tricks to himself and to us is mesmerizing. The ins and outs of his mind, the mix of reality and fantasy, are masterfully done, and they don’t feel unnatural or annoying, somehow the author managed to make them make sense and we don’t feel lost anytime.

My biggest fear was that the author would mess up the ending and, in a story like this, ruining the ending would ruin the whole experience. But nah, everything works perfectly fine from start to finish.

Second, this book really needs a TV mini-series. Actually no. It deserves a TV mini-series.


The Best: This journey into insanity is nothing like I’ve read before. Oh, I almost forgot… the book cover is so, so, so good!


The Worst: not really.


I received this for free via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.


As a nonnative English speaker, I had some problems with the language, specifically the England slang. That is not the author’s fault but mine, and thanks to the e-reader it was not a major problem. This did not influence my rating in any means (but I had to say it, you know).

This was such a twisted story that I give 3.5 stars

This was definitely a page turner that I couldn’t put down. I was intrigued by all the different layers & theories on who the murderer was up until the last page. I did find all the visions to be confusing at times and I didn’t know what was real or fake, which I guess was point. I’m still a little confused on the ending and who killed what but I was definitely entertained. I’m not one for dark magic & ghosts so that part was a bit of a confusion/turn off but in the end I couldn’t put it down and read it in one sitting

✰ 2.25 stars ✰

“Funny how many sickos there are in the world.”

Well, if that isn't the sad and harsh truth? 😔

Yeah, so I was in a bit of a mood and this cover just screamed (see, what I did there? ☺️) that this was something my dark mood needed at the time. And okay, to be fair, sometimes you just need to read something to test your own limits of reading something that is as unhinged or as deranged and twisted as Cream was to me. It's funny how it's books like this that actually serve as a palette cleanser for me - to remind me that there are books out there far less appealing than the ones that I've read, and it only pushes me to find better books to fill the strange void it left me in.

“I’ve never really believed in fate–that there’s an order to the universe.

That no matter what choices we make, we end up in the same pre-destined place. It wouldn’t be fair that some people get the short, crappy straw while others get the long.”

The real star is definitely the warped and off-kilter mind of Zac - unreliable and unrelenting narrator at its finest, one who really did want to solve the case of the murdered girl, simply to absolve himself and his lover, so that they could ride off into the sunset together. What makes it even more interesting is how he is actually a victim already before the story starts off - caught in the belly of a sex tape that has labeled him as the campus slut, which makes him question everyone's good intentions and thoughts around him. 'Is this how I’m always going to be? Wired. Just waiting for someone to mention my humiliation. Always looking out for the​ people reveling in my shame.​' So the audience is able to in a way sympathize with him and feel that maybe we are judging his actions a bit too harshly - that he may, in fact, deserve a happier outcome than what this poor seventeen-year-old has had to endure. 😥

But, as the situation worsens for Zac - literally, so too, does his state of mind - mentally. The inability to differentiate between reality and fiction, how the distortedness of his actions would compel him to doubt himself was a recipe for disaster - and ultimately, it did become one! 😄 'I’m hot, dripping with sweat, and my head is a jumble. These violent visions are becoming more intense. I’m starting to mix reality and fantasy. Is it the weed, or am I just going crazy?' For as wildly problematic as his intentions were and the characters he was involved in, I found myself morbidly fascinated with the story.

The beach setting along with his job at the ice cream vendor, coupled with his budding attraction for his co-worker, Jake, and his fervent jealousy of Jake's lover made for some highly entertaining drivel that prevented me from abandoning it. The cover is a solid win for capturing Zac's state of mind and the summery feeling of listlessness and vapid obscurity. I was curious to see what was the actual truth, who was the true culprit behind the many murders taking place, and how the author intended to conclude this insane ride of mystery, mystique and mayhem.

“I’m sobbing uncontrollably. I have nothing to say. There’s nothing to say. I’m living through the worst nightmare imaginable. I’d do anything to go back to the beginning of summer.”

The plot becomes even more convoluted and derailed into a symbiotic sense of sexual depravity and cultic fantasy, that I actually started to see the morbid humor in Zac's plight that I couldn't even bring myself to be disgusted by the events that were unfolding! 'Why can’t I think straight? Some of those things never even happened, and what’s real and what’s imaginary are blurring together in a big patchwork of fuckery.' The writing tone is a mix of crass and crude, while also giving enough layers of depravity to Zac's demonic and twisted thoughts, but also painting him in a light of an innocent unwitting victim. 😆 Haha, that is really a strange way of putting it, because I did sympathize with him - in a strange way; because we don't know for sure just how innocent he really is in this current predicament, that he does draw a few sympathetic cards.

The writing didn't slow down, even as the story delved into deeper chaos and...not craziness, but simply the horrific absurdity of his actions and reasoning made me laugh aloud. 'You’ve lost the plot, Zac.” No, Jake’s the one who's lost the plot. That’s not what happened at all.' There is plenty of drug inhaling and ice cream prevailing with a heaping helping of blood and gore and stupidity and madness that all comes together with a subtle touch of heart and emotion that made me want to read till the end. 👍🏻👍🏻

The pacing doesn't quite falter, despite the overwhelming heat befuddling Zac's thoughts, as it is a relatively short read that covers a small time frame. The author gives just enough detail and depth into the characters that places Zac in the limbo of being trapped in a situation he shouldn't have been, and yet, found himself in. None of the characters were exactly likeable, and in fact, that was the intention. Everyone is a villain in Zac's eyes - he, being the only victim, and in the end - the price is paid. 😟

So, not exactly the most stellar of reads, but a nice disruption in the usual reading material that I indulge in. And I treated myself to lots of ice cream flavors - figuratively, of course! 😋 I can't tell you how many times I craved an ice cream just by reading the flavors; even though Lahore is still in the throes of the winter rainy season and I know if I indulge in one, I'm gonna end up with a cold.

“His skin is a scoop of ice cream—smooth and velvety. I want to run my tongue over it, push the tip into his eye sockets, and eat his eyeballs like cherries. Pop. Pop.”

Okay, maybe not the best of examples, but it does give one a general idea of what exactly you're getting yourself into, should you choose to read this. 😅

*Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

4 / 5

What a dark, twisted little queer book this is. From the jump, something feels slightly off in Cream. There's some sort of detached but deliciously warped aspect to the writing, and as the book progresses, I fell more and more in love with it.

Featuring the most unreliable of unreliable narrators, we follow Zac, a young college dropout with an unfortunate reputation as the "gay slut" after a sexual video is posted online without his consent. Zac tries to move on from this event, but he feels like everyone has seen it - except for his new coworker, Jake, whom Zac has become smitten with.

As Zac embarks on what begins as a sticky sweet summer set in a beachside ice cream shack, his world soon turns into a full-on murder investigation as events spiral out of control. We witness Zac's personality take on an obsessive tone very early on, and his increasingly violent hallucinations call into question his actions off page. Zac's quest for answers about the murder only turn up even more questions -- and increase his doubts in everyone around him.

This was absolutely a treat to read, and I couldn't stop turning the pages. Because of the fact that so much of the mindfuckery is left to the interpretation of the reader, I'd recommend this to fans of Bunny - such a macabre ride that I didn't want to end!

Thank you to NetGalley and Jay H.D. for sending me this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I thought I was going to enjoy this but it just didn't read well. The characters were two dimensional and the relationships forced

Unreliable narrator? POV writing? Murder?

Yes, to all of this. Cream by the mysterious Jay H.D is a modern horror story.

This is part alternative lit, part horror, part WTF. I loved it.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for the opportunity to read and review.

I ended up not finishing this because it was honestly not for me, felt like it was written for a gcse English exam where the only stipulations are that lots of things happen in a row with little to no build up, and also you don't like the characters. When I was 15 and desperate to be edgy, maybe I would have liked it more? I also found several spelling mistakes despite only reading the first half, so it will need another edit. Thank you for the opportunity to read early though!

This was an interesting book, and it certainly went places I didn't expect it to. The blurb gave me Veronica Mars vibes, so I was all in on that, but what I ultimately got was a book that was far darker and more visceral than I expected.

It ended up a lot less Veronica Mars, and a lot more American Psycho. Our narrator is...very unreliable and the lapses into violent fantasy are fast and shocking and leave you wondering what is and what isn't a fantasy.

Except it's not American, and it did take my tiny American peanut brain a bit to adjust to the phrasings and dialogue of the book. Nothing against the book at all with that one, just something to point out.

If you're looking for a thriller that is very queer, and more than occasionally lapses into full on horror, then this is the book for you.

3.5 ★

Cover for this book intrigued me right away and then synopsis made me want to pick it up even more!
It's an interesting little tale that touches on themes of infatuation, lust, deep desire, unrequited feelings, shame and murder while skillfully blurring the boundaries between reality and illusion.
We've got an unreliable narrator on our hands, so throughout the story, we are left to wonder is his version of events really what happened, or was it just in his head. The author adeptly maintains ambiguity and doesn't make it clear until the brutal and unexpected conclusion, which stands out as my favorite part of the book.

What I loved was the choice of a first-person narrative, giving us a peek inside Zac's enigmatic mind and character. The inclusion of comedic moments was a nice touch, breaking the tension at just the right moments. The setting was vividly portrayed, adding a unique vibe to the reading experience. Around the halfway point, the narrative skillfully induces a sense of shared confusion with the protagonist, compelling readers to question previously established truths, which is always an interesting touch.

While the book offered an enjoyable one-sitting read, I wished for a bit more horror or detailed descriptions to intensify certain scenes. Despite this, the story remains an entertaining experience.

Thank you to Netgalley for providing me with an advance copy in exchange for an honest review.

Thank you NetGalley and Jay H.D. for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

Wow! Okay...where to begin...

I have mostly avoided horror in the past because I felt like I wouldn't like it...but I was wrong. I really liked this, and I'm not sure what that says about me, because this book is incredibly disturbing.

The entire book is told through Zac's POV. It is written in first person, so the reader never gets outside of his head, and it's...intense. Zac is not morally gray, he is a true anti-hero. He is narcissistic, sociopathic, delusional, and possibly, a murderer. It is impossible to tell what events are real and what is fantasy/delusion. At several points in the book, I wondered if Zac was just flat out lying to the reader.

I could not put this book down. I devoured it almost in one sitting. It is not campy, but there is a decent amount of dark humor in it and I found myself laughing out loud at several points. It has American Psycho vibes...but more fever dreamy, and with teenagers instead of businessmen. And of course, more queer.

I kept thinking about this quote from 10 Things that Never Happened by Alexis Hall where one of the characters says "excuse me, gay people can be serial killers too".

I don't really have any criticism of this. Like I said, I don't normally read horror so I have no idea if this is what horror is usually like. The author, Jay, H.D., does not shy away from anything, which I loved, but I imagine it won't be everyone's cup of tea. It is not overly graphic, but disturbing themes are definitely not glossed over. The violence and sexual fantasies all serve a purpose in the story though - they are not just put there for shock value.

And by the way, who is this mysterious author? I looked them up and found hardly anything! No website, no IG, no "about the author" blurb, nothing. Just one blurry picture next to their name showing a person covering their face. I have no idea if it's even a picture of the author. Jay, you are an enigma wrapped in a mystery. But thank you for sharing your gift with us! I very much enjoyed this book which made me feel disturbed and disgusted, but also obsessed and addicted. I am sure I will be thinking about it for a long while. Please keep writing!

This new-adult dark fiction is a strong contender for my favorite book of 2024. We follow Zac, an unhappy teenage boy who must work at an ice-cream kiosk over the summer. Luckily for him, friendly bad boy Jake is there to make the days better. Despite how attracted to Jake he is, Zac has to watch bitterly as Jake and his girlfriend Tasmin flirt openly with each other.

Then Tasmin ends up dead. Zac can't believe his luck, but on the other hand... who killed her? Battling with his own graphically dark fantasies, Zac is determined to figure out who the murderer is.

This book was written so well; diving into the dark recesses of Zac's mind leaves the reader, and Zac himself, unable to tell what is real. Paranoia and a violent imagination go hand-in-hand, and the book is hard to put down because of it. A good mix of horror and thriller flip this book from a sexy summer romance to a tale of insanity and mystery.