Thank you to NetGalley, Crown Publishing and the author for the ARC of this book.

This was quite the challenging read. The author’s writing was top-notch, but the subject matter was difficult. Who imagines their family member or best friend falling down the rabbit whole of conspiracy theories- and we are talking full tin-foil hat. This book seems incredibly poignant right now, given our current political climate and the information some individuals are touting as fact.

Like domestic violence and abuse, the fall often happens slowly, without being particularly obvious until the individual is in too deep to easily escape. This book is a great reminder to verify what we are hearing and reading with credible sources before both believing and spreading that information further.

This was a very well-written nonfiction book that everyone should be picking up this year.

Jesselyn Cook's "The Quiet Damage" is a collection of stories about people who are either members of QAnon or are very close to members of QAnon. Before reading "The Quiet Damage," I knew about QAnon and the (to me) outrageous claims member circle around the internet, but I did not have a deep understanding of Q culture or how much these beliefs tear apart families. The characters in this book become entrenched in QAnon in a number of ways - a cancer diagnosis or feeling misaligned and disillusioned by the mainstream. At least in the context of this book, there isn't a relative, friend, or partner of the QAnon believers who are left unscathed by their loved ones' new found believes in the QAnon lifestyle and the harmful lies and mistruths spread within QAnon circles. Some of the stories in this book are just really sad, and I couldn't help but feel hopeless along with some of the characters. I haven't heard much about QAnon in the news lately, but this book proves that the believers are, unfortunately, out there among us. This was a really good read!

It is so hard to comprehend the power that a political party/organization can have over people. The ability to be able to brain-wash unsuspecting people is wild. Jesselyn puts together a very compassionate insight to five families that have been affected by the QAnon. The damage that is done to individual families and their relationships are captured in her writing if very heartbreaking to read.

I would definitely recommend this book.

Thank you NetGalley and Crown Publishing for this advance reading copy.

The Quiet Damage is a moving investigation into five families who are impacted by harmful conspiratorial thinking. Cook follows five individuals who either go down the rabbit hole themselves, or are a close family member of someone who falls deep into QAnon. Through these individual stories, she tracks how this particular belief system was able to appeal to not only white Christian nationalists, but liberal progressives, lonely elders, and Black families.

This book will be a valuable resource for anyone who has struggled with the feeling that they have lost a loved one to conspiratorial thinking. Not all of the stories Cook follows end happily or completely, but each journey will impart valuable wisdom to the reader. A truly excellent record of our times.

This review will be posted to Goodreads on August 27, 2024.

The Quiet Damage was a fascinating read. It shows how someone can get radicalized so easily and how it can tear families apart. It was honest and raw.

TL;DR

Jesselyn Cook’s The Quiet Damage is a beautiful, sad look at how Qanon tears families apart. Over the course of this book, we meet and become invested in the struggle of five families to adjust to how Qanon has changed their lives. Highly recommended.

Disclaimer: The publisher provided a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. Any and all opinions that follow are mine alone.

Review: The Quiet Damage by Jesselyn Cook

Prior to Covid, a Facebook friend starting posting nonsense about 5G and cancer. It was a lot of non-scientific fear-mongering for people who weren’t science literate. Soon, this person started posting Qanon stuff, and I was exposed to the insanity that is Qanon, Pizzagate, and Adrenochrome. Frankly, I was incredulous and curious. How could reasonable people believe such ridiculous things? When I found out about r/QAnonCasualties, my heart dropped as I read story after story of families being ripped apart by this mass delusion. I read so much that I had to force myself away from that subreddit. When I first saw The Quiet Damage by Jesselyn Cook, I needed to read it. When I began reading, I was back into my days lurking on r/QAnonCasualties. The stories were compelling, heartbreaking, and impossible to put down. Cook wrote a book about a certain type of modern family that is hard to believe exists and too real to ignore.

The Quiet Damage follows five families as Qanon enters and destroys their lives. This is a book told like a novel, but don’t expect happy endings. Jesselyn Cook put a lot of effort into humanizing everyone in the story. She approaches the situation with a balanced perspective even though her opinion of Qanon clearly comes through. Throughout Cook demonstrates how even credulous people make their way into a cult. The families come from all over the U.S.; they’re of varying ages, background, and races. The only thing that unites them is that Qanon has driven a wedge into their families, in some cases destroyed the lives that they thought they were building. Each story is devastating as close-knit families fall apart. Cook ensures that the identities of the participants remain anonymous, but she dives into details enough that close acquaintances can probably figure out who they are. The book is divided into three parts: entry into Qanon, falling apart, and the aftermath. It’s a beautiful construction in that Cook provides a story arc for the book, but these peoples lives continue. There aren’t happy endings, and the choices made in this book resonate throughout their lives to this day. In an almost an actualization of Tolstoy’s famous opening to Anna Karenina*, each of the family dissolves in unique ways, and it’s heartbreaking to read. From a distance, it’s easy to see how Qanon’ers are choosing strangers and grifters over people they’ve known and cared for over the course of their life. This is a beautiful book about the dangers of delusions.

The Quiet Damage by Jesselyn Cook broke my heart. I feel for everyone involved even though I think the Qanon people are nuts. Cook avoids caricaturing anyone, and this pulled me in even more. This is a fast read because I didn’t want to put it down. I was almost late to a doctor’s appointment because I had to finish a chapter. Highly recommended.

The Families

Matt in Missouri, Adam & Emily from Tennessee, Doris & Dale in Alabama, Alice in California, and Tayshia & Kendra in Wisconsin are the subjects of the story. Adam, Dale, and Tayshia aren’t part of the Qanon cult. So, this gives the book a mix of people on the inside and the outside of Qanon. Cook gives readers a look at the families from both sides of the divide, and she gives us a deep look into the families. It’s a compassionate look, and my heart broke for each family. At the same time, this book is depressing. That doesn’t mean it’s bad; it’s just a reminder that real life doesn’t have a happily ever after. Life is messy and families more so.

Adam was my favorite of the stories. I couldn’t wait to return to his chapters. Adam’s past is filled with sadness, and he works hard to overcome that. Part of it is the role model that his mother Emily became. She, a single mother of three, put herself through law school and became a respected lawyer. Adam followed in her footsteps. But while he was trying to take the California bar exam – the hardest in the nation – Emily fell down the Qanon hole. As her relationships with her kids deteriorates, so does Adam’s life. He begins reading without believing in Qanon in order to try to help his mother find her way out of the cult. The only problem is that she doesn’t want to leave. The story of a son trying to save his mother is wonderful and sad and heartbreaking. It ended as I expected, but it was still my favorite.

Qanon and Mental Health

Cook is careful to say that these people aren’t mentally ill, but I’m not sure I agree. They are rational people led down the wrong path by grifters and scammers. These people have destroyed their ties to families and friends, which leads them further into the online community. The Qanon’ers believe they’re trying to save the world and their family. They think that their online harassment of others, addiction to YouTube, and trying to pass their mind-virus to others is saving the world for children. I don’t think they’re mentally ill in that they’re experiencing hallucinations or that it’s a chemical imbalance in the brain that’s causing this. Again, they’re rational, somewhat healthy people.

What unites these disparate families is that a member of their family found solace in the online community at a low point in their lives. Loneliness, depression, hopelessness, and feelings of powerlessness all led these people into an online community that gives them a purpose and makes them feel powerful as warriors for good in the battle versus evil. The fact that the battle their fighting doesn’t exist doesn’t matter. In their minds, it does. They have a purpose, and life isn’t a chaotic, scary thing. They believe there’s an evil controlling things behind the scene, and that by watching YouTube or trying to figure out the codes in the media, they can fight that evil. The low points in their mental health allowed the Qanon community to get their grips into their lives. Emily’s unresolved anger and grief – and, probably, PTSD – set the stage for her entry into Qanon. It seems like mental health issues are gateways into Qanon.

From my biased point of view, how can we not say these people are mentally ill. They are absolutely sure of a reality that doesn’t have any evidence to support it. They isolate themselves, like people in a cult, and they subject themselves to horrific videos and experiences, like ivermectin poisoning. Parents are disowning their children because of a delusion. How is that not a mental health issue?

Control

Qanon was aided by the Covid lockdowns and the loneliness epidemic that proceeded it. Qanon started because people felt they had no control in their lives. Bad things happened. The elites controlled things, like Bernie not getting the nomination over Hilary. Qanon provided a narrative that someone was in control, and that by understanding who was in control, you could avoid being a ‘sheep’ like everyone else. Bad things weren’t happening because bad things happen. Bad things were happening because evil wanted them to happen. If evil was defeated, life would be paradise on earth. In addition, the fact that no one understood how the Covid virus worked added in an extra layer of uncertainty. Then being forced into isolation just made people feel lonelier, depressed, and angry. These emotions are fertile ground for the grifter to plant their delusional seeds.

I get the need for control. Every person has it. I have anxiety issues because of a lack of control. I get worked up by politics, and in reality, there’s very little I can do about it. I can’t do anything about the idiocy and cruelty of the modern Republican party. Thinking that someone controlled all that would provide comfort because it would give me someone to work against. It would give me a target for all my anxiety and anger. But that someone doesn’t exist. All I can do is focus on the things I can control, like my relationships and my job. I can’t change the fact that modern Republicans want to destroy democracy, but I can be a better husband, a better father, and a better engineer. Putting effort into those areas of my life is something I have control over, and when I learned that, my life got better. I recommend you look for the things you can control in your life and focus on them.

Relationships

Matt from Missouri’s story touched me as a family man. Matt ignores his wife and children as he dives into Qanon. His life becomes about Qanon, and in his mind, he’s doing it for his family. In reality, he destroys his family. It falls apart because he withdraws from it. Relationships take a lot of work, and we have to put effort into it. In the stories in this book, readers see people shift that effort from family to Qanon. And being part of Qanon is a lot of work. They spend hours upon hours ‘researching’ and harassing all non-Qanon’ers. They are dedicated to their cause and willing to put in the effort. As a result, the effort into their relationships declines.

Conclusion

Jesselyn Cook’s The Quiet Damage is a wonderful, depressing, beautiful view into the effects of Qanon on families. It’s a book I couldn’t put down. Dive into the struggle of these five families to deal with the reality of losing a family member to Qanon.

I think this is one of the saddest books I've ever read. The whole Qanon thing is so irrational but people get so committed to it that they lose their friends and family, and and even their lives. I think the saddest stories for me were the man with the wife who had turned to conspiracies because of a misdiagnosis and who had so much trouble coming back so he could care for her, and the young child acting out in class and unable to get along with other kids his age because he was so focused on the conspiracies.
I truly hope that we as a society can get past this and heal. Thanks to NetGalley for letting me read this

We have heard of Qanon in a surface way but with The Quiet Damage you get an informative and compassionate read. I loved the chapter choices following peoples personal accounts and journeys . I found it an effective way as a reader to connect to their perspective in a meaningful way.

Thank you to Net Galley and Crown for the ARC in exchange for my honest review. This book looks at real people and follow their life history and how they became involved in QAnon as well as providing some psychological information (there seems to be a correlation with depression) and a brief history of the QAnon. The people/families come from all walks of life (parts of the country, blue/white collar, socioeconomic, parents/children/spouses/siblings) and how it breaks apart families and relationships. I learned a bit more about QAnon but still don't understand how people can flip from a liberal to a QAnon faithful. It feels like it is some type of illness where the brain stops functioning normally and gives in to the fear and the analytical brain stops functioning. One of the stories provides some advice on how to talk to someone with QAnon beliefs but it's scary to think that we don't use the term QAnon as much as it's become a mainstream part of society and politics.

This was so excellent, if heartbreaking. It's a great deep-dive journalistic look at the lives of five people who were either members of QAnon themselves or were very close to someone who is/was, exploring the effects on their lives. It's compellingly written and really illuminating. The author's research is meticulous where she adds context, but I wish the epilogue with a bit more information about what it all means was a little more extensive, but it's fascinating for what it is.

A fascinating read a book that had me gasping out loud reading the stories of families completely torn apart when a member becomes a Quanon follower..Jesselyn Cook shares with us their story, writing about them with compassion sharing with us their shock and pain.#netgalley #crownbooks

The Quiet Damage follows five people who fell into QAnon and the damage it caused them/their families.
Those five people fell into it for multiple reasons like isolation from COVID-19, medical misdiagnosis, new age conspiracies, social media misinformation, etc. Cook does a great job treating these families with care while laying out how people get trapped into conspiracy thinking as well as the toll it takes on the families trying to get them out. I found The Quiet Damage an easy to follow read that reminds me a lot of the Q-Dropped podcast.

I am so fascinated by how people are drawn to cults, religious fundamentalism, and political extremism. I am also intrigued by people’s relations to social media, their knowledge of algorithms, and their overall media literacy skills. While this book is focused on QAnon, it applies to wider societal themes and systems. I’m highlighting so many sections.

Wow was this fabulous. In the Quiet Damage, Cook navigates through five different people's connections to QAnon, whether it be themselves or a loved one. It explores how they got into it, how it impacted their lives, and getting out of "it" -- whether that be out of QAnon or out of their relationship with their loved one. Someone I know found QAnon during the isolation of the pandemic, and I know first hand that it can really change someone who is objectively smart and kind into someone completely different. Luckily for me, that person was not someone I held close to my heart, and I cannot imagine how hard it must be to see someone go through this change when they are someone you've loved dearly your entire life.

Cook does a fantastic job of writing people's descents into QAnon with compassion. She does not ignore the hateful beliefs, but she really humanizes how someone can go from a Bernie voter to a QAnon conspiracy theorist. I feel like I understand this on so many levels more than I did before, and this is not the first QAnon-related book I've read! I really loved the afterword -- Cook is a tech writer and went into this project thinking that the answer to ridding the world of QAnon was to rid tech of its supremacy. After speaking with hundreds of people, she realized it truly is a lack of emotional wellbeing. This felt like an "oh duh" moment for me, but I had honestly never considered it.

This book was really emotional, a lot of these stories just pull at your heart. I still want to give Dale a big hug.
Highly recommend this book.

Thank you to Crown Publishing and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review!

WOW! This book was a thrilling read. I got through it entirely in one sitting. The compassionate, multivalent writing spurs sympathy with Qanon casualties and their loved ones. As a religious studies educator, this is the kind of book you want to make students interested in this topic. I feel very privileged to read the advance copy and can't wait to write a full review for social media when it gets posted.

In "The Quiet Damage", journalist Jesse Cook takes a deeper look at the rise of QAnon in recent years and the extent of its repercussions on a handful of families across America. Each chapter focuses on a different story, and rotates across individuals and perspectives, highlighting the "before" and the quick and unexpected chaos that followed in the "after".

We're introduced to a number of families - starting with Emily, a single mother-turned-lawyer who's raised her three children by herself following the suicide of her husband. When all three of her children become successful adults and leave their childhood home, she struggles with the isolation and loneliness, turning to the internet to fill the gap. We spend time with Doris and Dale, who've been married for decades, but a misdiagnosis of cancer sends Doris down a spiral and she also gets pulled into the conspiracy theories that flood social media. Another couple, Andrea and Matt, also reach a breaking point after Matt work with a Christian radio station and video producer leads him to a QAnon video - and his actions also pull in his wife with him. Alice, who grew up a Democrat and was a former Bernie Sanders supporter, also fell prey to the influence, and her husband Christopher can only watch on as the person he loves completely morphs in front of his eyes. The final story centers on Kendra and her older sister Tayshia, growing up as black girls in Milwaukee and how one sibling's pull into QAnon irreparably scarred the other.

Cook treats each of these stories and families with incredible care and empathy; each person's backstory is lovingly captured, their personalities, passions, and accomplishments fleshed out. The individuals range in location, age, and race but there are a number of common themes and situations - a jarring emotional or physical shock; feelings of loneliness or abandonment; the isolation and fear caused by the COVID-19 pandemic - that highlight just how alluring the QAnon movement was to them. As someone who had only heard of the movement in passing or referenced at high-level in the news, hearing in detail some of the messaging or channels that the theories spread was informational, if not shocking. And the emotional, mental, and physical toll this had on the loved ones around these individuals was heart-wrenching and devastating; for some families, there was no resolution.

This is an eye-opening book that treats a group of people with much-needed compassion. Personally, I think it would have been better served keeping each story to one section, instead of chopping them up into multiple ones as it sometimes made it hard to keep up with each. I also would have appreciated some more scientific support - earlier studies that would have refuted some of the strategies employed, or additional literature to better support the statements - but can understand that this was more focused on the individuals and stories highlighted.

This is definitely an interesting read. The book takes a look at how QAnon has negatively impacted families. It's actually a sad reality - everyone wants to feel like they belong somewhere, and sometimes that "somewhere" is not part of the reality - it can be a form of escapism, which means the reality of life is depressing/non-inspiring. Interesting how there's research on the negative affects of addictive social media, and this "organization" was spawn from social media / the internet providing incorrect information. Really sad and heavy read.

Thank you to the author and publisher for this advance reader copy. This book about families affected by a family member in QAnon was insaneeeeee. I don’t think I’ve ever gasped out loud so many times from reading a book. The only thing I think would improve the book is if it had footnotes for the sources, I love good footnotes! Otherwise it was so interesting. 4⭐️

In The Quiet Damage, Jesselyn Cook skillfully captures this conflicted moment in American culture, in which disinformation and a further distorted Christian nationalism and it's impact on families. Though it can seem at moments like many of the figures caught in QAnon's undertow were fundamentally similar, as their stories play out it becomes clear just how different the many people who find a home in this movement can be. Similarly, there are moments when it seems like most of the figures are being similarly rehabilitated, but ultimately their outcomes – and the relationships broken by their beliefs – vary widely. An enlightening read for anyone trying to understand how QAnon draws people in, and how we might be able to draw them out of this dangerous world.

I would call this compassionate journalism. The author tells the stories of families who have been negatively impacted--to put it mildly--by one or more members' descent into the world of QAnon conspiracy theory. People who are vulnerable to disinformation for one reason or another and are looking for validation and belonging go deep into online communities and increasingly alienate their families. I found this book compelling and heartbreaking.