I loved this book! Definitely ordering a hard copy for myself.

Dr. Cook offers a helpful framework for working through hard feelings, especially ones that can also trigger guilt. Most people experience feelings like this at one point or another, so this is a book most people will find helpful and encouraging.

Loved this book!! I got so much out of it and learned some skills/gained some tools that I plan on taking back to my therapist. This was my first book from Alison Cook, PhD, but it certainly won't be my last!! I can't wait to read more :)

I found “I shouldn’t feel this way” an easy read. The style of writing was conversational and I found it easy to understand the practices that Dr Cook detailed. She made me think she was completely relatable when she said in her introduction about “reaching for the chips” as a way we numb ourselves to drown out the noise of our inner turmoil.
The book is divided into three parts. Part one goes through her three step process: Name what's hard, frame your reality, and brave a new path. In parts two and three, Alison shows how to apply the three step process in relation to how we feel about ourselves and how we feel about others, with chapters “I shouldn’t feel like numbing my emotions” or “I shouldn’t feel ashamed of my body” and “I shouldn’t feel conflicted about God”. The process she uses, she describes without using technical terms, making it really accessible; and questions used which made it fairly easy to apply to feelings/situations in our lives that we can’t seem to move through. I loved the practice calls “Comma, God”; a way of rephrasing our feelings and emotions so we are “naming them with God” instead of bypassing them.
After reading the book I felt it gave me tools to help my daughter work through a situation that caught her by surprise with the way she reacted to it.
I think this book is great as it makes it accessible for those of us that are stuck in that loop of numbing to silence the noise, so we can start the journey of healing.
I received a complimentary copy of this book. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

I Shouldn't Feel This Way is a perceptive and sympathetic manual for handling difficult emotions. The author skillfully combines realistic personal tales with useful psychological insights to provide comfort and useful guidance. The tender, uplifting tone that affirms feelings like guilt, grief, and shame and lets readers know they're not alone in their challenges is what really sticks out. It's an enjoyable, encouraging book that promotes emotional development and self-kindness. I sincerely suggest it to every person who wants to gain a deeper understanding and mastery of their emotions.

There wasn't anything glaringly 'new' in this book, which is disappointed as all the marketing language says it's a "groundbreaking 3-step process". The main structure and chapters building on one another felt more round-about than clear. But, that said, I did bookmark 7 or 8 pages that had good quotes that I may return to! I would suggest this book to friends who desire to go to counseling but can't afford it at this time, as there are some good counseling nuggets inside.

The author does a good job breaking down all of the unhealthy ways we are not fair to be ourselves. It’s a helpful book if you can be honest with yourself, be aware of your behavior, and stop shouldn’t-ing all over yourself.

Thanks to NetGalley and Thomas Nelson for an ARC of this book.

First of all, I would like to thank NetGalley, the publisher and the author for approving my request to read and review this book. I know that I was the one who requested it but I want to apologize for not continuing it after reading the first parts. It feels like I'm reading a written version of a TED talk and it's not for me. I skimmed through the pages to find something that will interest me but this wasn't it. Some people like this one and gave it a high rating but I'm sorry.

This book is based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, otherwise known as CBT. Although it may be helpful to those who have never been in therapy, it is pretty simplistic in nature. It also has a slight Christian bent but I liked that.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the e-ARC. This was a really useful read, wise and practical.

I am so profoundly grateful for Dr. Allison Cook’s “I Shouldn’t Feel This Way.” It is gentle enough to be introductory reading for anyone interested in (or on the fence about) therapy; its also direct and capable of coming alongside someone three or more years into doing the work and still being a helpful guide for difficult circumstances in between therapy days.

If her book “Boundaries for Your Soul” was a helpful look at Internal Family Systems from a biblical lens, “I Shouldn’t Feel This Way” is a helpful look at Cognitive Behavioral Therapy from a biblical lens. As most people start in CBT, it’s the perfect starting point for anyone looking to gain more self awareness at thought patterns, but I wouldn’t want to limit its efficacy to just CBT alone. The chapter on the body was an incredible and succinct look into what we can do to begin attuning to what our nervous system and body is communicating about our physical needs. Truly, this is the most approachable introduction to nervous system health and wellness that I’ve seen. It has science to back it, but it’s light enough that it doesn’t become overwhelming. She also has a chapter specifically devoted to identifying toxic behaviors and how to spot them in relationships (as well as in yourself). This was a well done and very compassionate chapter- there is no shame spiral in the aftermath of reading it and there’s just enough self disclosure to not feel alone in the knowledge that at some point or other, we all exhibit levels of toxicity. But with awareness, we are able to change the patterns.

Finally- the last chapter, “I Shouldn’t Feel This Way about God” could be its own book. It’s INCREDIBLE. Dr. Allison Cook walks straight into the lion’s den of tangled up, confused, and out-of-context ways we are taught to relate to God and lovingly spends time at the crossroads with the reader to determine if this interpretation is really what James meant when he counsels us to “count it all joy” among many other platitudes that are intended to make us feel better (but usually end up making us feel worse). This chapter was so timely, and like any good therapist, you won’t find her telling you what to think, but she is very interested in equipping the reader to know what he/she thinks. That awareness is a gift. This book is a treasure.

I would read anything by Dr. Allison Cook, and I Shouldn’t Feel This Way is another incredible addition to her library of resources.

I’d like to thank Thomas Nelson Books and NetGalley for the eARC in exchange for my honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Is Alison in my head? Can she hear everything I'm thinking? I felt like she was calming my brain down and helping me get out of my thought loops that have been there for my entire life.

While Dr. Cook's book is not meant to be a replacement for therapy, it sure could come close! Filled with practical solutions and realistic scenarios, "I Shouldn't Feel This Way" helps the reader untangle conflicting emotions by using a 3-step process of "Name," "Reframe," and "Brave." It is certainly possible to feel 2 things at once and Dr. Cook brings peace to that tension.

Good book. Good content. Just not my cup of tea. I feel like it's the same advice everyone offers just repackaged in a different way. I think it has some good thoughts and will be incredibly meaningful to some people though.

Dealing with our inner thoughts and feelings can be hard, but this book gives a simple and powerful method: name, tame, and brave.

A recommended book for people who have a hard time escaping the noise in their head. The way Alison Cook explains the 'why' is so relatable and the 'how' is very practical.

Dr. Cook does it again! She brings life changing wisdom, and emotional healing in her newest book, "I Shouldn't Feel This Way". At one time or another, we all get derailed by our emotions and our unhealthy internal dialog . The advice often given in these times is, it'll be ok, or just don't think that way. Dr. Cook explains that we need to acknowledge those thoughts/emotions instead of ignoring them or hiding from them. By doing this, we can start that healing process of getting "unstuck" emotionally and start finding our best selves. In her three step method of Naming, Reframing, and Braving, Dr. Cook gives you the tools to work through the tough process of developing emotional freedom.

Dr. Cook writes in a way that feels like you're at home with a friend. Her compassion for the healing of others is evident. Her examples are real situations that anyone who thinks can relate to. The process of addressing our hidden feelings and choosing to work through them is a difficult one. Yet, Dr. Cook leads you through it with kindness, with practical doable steps, and with hope knowing as you work the process you will be on the path to a transformed life. I cannot recommend this book enough.

Dr. Alison Cook is a credible and trustworthy expert when it comes to emotional and spiritual health. She is my go-to resource when I need to offer my clients biblically-based, healthy tools for understanding their emotions. In "I Shouldn't Feel This Way," Dr. Cook offers a three-step process to help readers get from tangled up emotions and thoughts to braving a new path. Similar to her last book, I believe Dr. Cook is at her best in her chapter on conflicting feelings about God. She is so adept at taking spiritual platitudes like "forgive and forget" and exposing the paradox in them. I am grateful for Dr. Cook's work and the ways she speaks with grace and truth.

I love all of Cook’s work. This one is so informative and helpful and validating. Probably her best yet.

I Shouldn’t Feel This Way Review

Can’t afford a therapist? Start here.

If you’re like me and it’s hard to find money for therapy in the budget (the “fudgey budgey” as my friend calls it), then this book is for you. I Shouldn’t Feel This Way is an optimal starting point for processing difficult emotions on your own (or with a trusted friend). It lays the groundwork you need by defining a 3-step process of Naming (speaking out loud what’s hard), Reframing (identifying what’s actually going on inside you that caused this hard emotion in the first place), and then Braving (identifying a healthy action step that keeps you moving in the direction of emotional health). And then in Part Two and Part Three of the book, it dives into specific hard emotions, feelings of “I shouldn’t feel this way about . . .” and gently guides you in unpacking those guilt messages. Dr. Cook gives specific examples in each scenario that are a great help in recognizing if this is an unhealthy message that you have been ignoring but need to process, and then she gives specific questions to guide you through processing each harmful belief.

I wish I could tell you that this makes processing “easy,” but it’s still hard HARD work. But this book does make processing ACCESSIBLE—giving you a guide to follow as you finally begin the hard work of healing (and might I recommend, it gives you time to save money so that one day you can also get a licensed professional involved).

Stop saying, “I need to get a therapist,” and then using that as your excuse to put off doing the hard work of healing. Start with buying this book, and then put some action steps towards your healing. Take the time to write out your own answers to each question and get the healing journey started. You deserve it (I know personally how hard it is to receive and believe that message, but it’s true.)

You DESERVE to heal.

Thank you NetGalley and Epic Agency for sending this book for review consideration. All opinions expressed here are my own.

Dr Alison has done it again!! 🙌🏼
This is and will be an excellent resource for anyone, who like me, plays/played the shame game.
"I shouldn't feel this way" resonates with me on many levels. I used to think that I wasn't allowed "to feel or think" for myself. And most of my life went by with 20/20 vision.
I especially enjoy Dr Alison's "2 things can be true" exercise and being able to name, frame & brave, is a great process for self love ❤️ I was told by my therapist that I lacked self compassion and I was floored. Going through that process of realization is how I came to find Dr Cook and I believe it was God who led me to her. It is so refreshing to know that I can be a Christian and I can also love myself first.
Thank you Alison!

In this third installment of Dr Alison Cook's deep dive into healing our minds, bodies, and souls, she takes us on a profound journey. Some of the steps are very simple - in fact, most are simple - but that doesn't mean they come easy. If you remember the adage, "Anything worth having is worth working for," well, this fits in that category.

Deep healing is worth it and it will take work. Do I feel completely healed after working my way through these books? No - but I'm certainly farther along on the path to healing now then where I was before I started applying the things outlined in these books.

"I Shouldn't Feel This Way" seems to be the capstone on a beautiful offering from the heart of Dr. Alison Cook. I'm so thankful she has presented this to the world.

I received an ARC; this is my honest review.