I ended up finishing this right as John Oliver did a piece on this for his show, so the timing was ulitmately a bit on the nose. This is a combination of a guide on a crime that the authorities are just kind of broadly choosing to shrug their shoulders at, which is more than a little frustrating, and the sheer humor of going into some real unhinged tangents with potential scammers. Definitely worth your time as a read.

Not for me, this one. I just could not get on with it, I’m sorry to say. The subject matter is portrayed in a humorous tone, but as it deals with vulnerable people being scammed, it made me uncomfortable. I also had an issue with the writing tone, regarding some particular nationalities.
Not a good choice for me, I made a mistake in requesting it. A DNF.
My thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for my advance copy of this book.

This book follows a woman on Twitter who is popular for calling out scammers. She goes through different aspects of romance scams and what to watch for. She also talks about examples she’s seen and been a part of.

This book was humorous and interesting! The topic of romance scams is interesting and important since so many people fall for the scams. The way these scammers take advantage of people, especially the elderly, is so gross and bad to me. I like how this book is calling out these scammers.

I do feel the book was a bit repetitive at times. The humor was a bit much at times too. However, I would still recommend!

Thanks so much to netgalley and Unbound for the arc of this book in exchange for an honest review!

Every single person should read this book, it balances the comedy with the serious topic of romance scams. The title certainly catches the eye and a tone and pace keeps the reader engaged, Holmes delivers a book that blends humour with vital information about a serious issue.

Holmes sets the stage by sharing her own experiences with online scammers, accompanied by witty Twitter message screenshots that had me chuckling throughout. Beyond the laughs, the stories from interviews are both heartbreaking and harrowing, exploring the devastating impact of romance fraud on its victims. The book switches between the real-life stories and insightful analysis, she sheds light on the tactics used by scammers and offers practical advice on how to recognise and avoid falling prey to these schemes. This book tackles a weighty topic with both humour and empathy.

Overall it’s a hilarious yet thought-provoking exploration of romance fraud that will leave readers both laughing and reflecting on the dangers lurking in the digital realm.

Oh my, what a book!

The first half deals with the author’s often hilarious responses to unsolicited online messages she had with various men during the Covid lockdown. As a way of coping with her loneliness during that awful time she opened a Twitter account, and this is what brought these men out of the woodwork.

The second part – because it does feel like a book of two parts – she makes contact with several women who have been victimised by online “romances”. Their stories are astonishing and heartbreaking. I’ve heard about these romances and the way women are duped into sending chunks of money, often thousands of pounds (!), and always wondered how they can fall for their stories. I’d like to think I’m smart enough not to fall for them. It’s a horrible, outrageous, seedy, murky world, and having read about these “boys”, I had a quick look on the internet, What I saw shocked me so much I couldn’t watch more than a couple of minutes.

Many of us had had these messages, and most of us dismiss them, delete, block and forget about them, but as one of these “gentlemen” said, if he just gets one out of a hundred and he can make a lot of money.

A book which is both entertaining and shocking.

[BOOK REVIEW] Becky Holmes - Keanu Reeves Is Not in Love With You

The review you have all been waiting for! ✨ Big thanks to @netgalley and @unbounders for a free e-copy!

If you're a woman on the Internet then you have guys sliding in your DMs on a regular basis. Sometimes they're handsome soldiers or pilots, sometimes they're Keanu Reeves (I unfortunately have never been contacted by a Keanu but I had an oil rig worker the other day named Andrew who looked suspiciously a lot like Paul Hollywood).

In reality, they're most likely African or Asian scammers, here to part you with your money one steam card at a time. But sometimes it turns out to be so much more than a steam card and we see a news story about a woman who gave her life savings to a soldier before she realized she was scammed.

Becky Holmes joined the world of social media during the p**demic and soon had celebrities and handsome soldiers sliding into their DMs. Her way of dealing with them was to troll them and post their convos on Twitter and her account got pretty popular. In the first part of the book we see some of these conversations and it's really funny 😄

But then, the author used the second half of the book to explain who these scammers are, their most common MOs and how to recognize if you're getting scammed. She included real life stories from women who were scammed and I found that part particularly interesting. It's really easy to laugh at them but I feel we need to offer understanding and also do the best we can do educate women (especially older women) how to avoid these scams. It's sad to see that victims of romance fraud are helpless as authorities know next to nothing about these kind of crimes.

I absolutely recommend this, it's a short book that offers facts in a humoristic way that ends up being quite eye opening.

I'm slightly obsessed with this book. I cannot wait until its published. I will be buying a copy for everyone I know. I work in a financial institution and feel like this should be mandatory reading for all of our employees. We see quite a bit of romance fraud, and see potential fraud and just don't always see the warning signs. I think the way Becky Holmes writes about this, makes it more tangible to read about and easier to relate to if you feel like you would never fall for one of these schemes.

I don't know the author so it was interesting to go into this blind, This was a funny, fabulous book about romance fraud, it made me laugh out loud quite a few times. Perceptive and informative and a sad indictment of the times we live in.

This book should be required reading for anyone who wants to jump into the world of online dating or is tempted to answer the direct message from a random stranger on social media.

This book is a goldmine or information about romance scams - how to spot them and how to respond when they happen to you....because if you are online they probably will. Becky Holmes is funny, witty and informative in this book, tying all the pieces of these complex scams together in a way that readers can understand. She details how tricky it is to get help from the police, banks or support groups as these are all drastically underfunded. She calls out the use of victim blaming as a deflection technique used to make the victim feels silly for succumbing to these cons. I particularly loved the section where she details the romance scammers handbook and shares excerpts of the scripts that they use to pull people into their webs.

Victims share their stories and these are treated sensitively and with care. The book is also peppered with anecdotes from Becky's social media account where she shares the messages that she has received from fraudsters and also how they don't seem to be taking any notice of her, increasingly hilarious, responses to their messages as they just follow their predefined script.

Charming, witty, informative and perfect.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publishers for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Netgalley’s generosity knows no bounds: they let me grab a free e-copy of this very funny and informative book. Came for the hilarious examples of the author messing online fraudsters about (e.g. her informing one that she was squatting in the house of a murder victim only to then be asked what her favourite colour is and whether she was married - say what you want about scammers, but they aren’t judgemental!), stayed for the stories and boggling facts about online romance scams: something way more common and often more sophisticated than I thought.

I knew of Becky Holmes from her hilarious Twitter threads, sharing conversations she has with bots and scammers. When I saw she was writing a book, I knew I had to read it and it didn’t disappoint! She brings her humour and writing style to this book, but also a lot of research and interviews. She clearly put a lot of time and effort into this book and I think it pays off. There’s lots of advice on what to look out for with a potential scammer, and an important message throughout that it can happen to anyone.

Keanu Reeves is Not In Love With You is an investigation into the murky world of online dating fraud. I found this an absolutely fascinating and, at times, shocking read. It was also extremely entertaining due to Becky Holmes’ skill as a comic writer. There were times I actually laughed out loud at some of her exploits with would-be scammers. The material from interviews with both victims and perpetrators was a real eye-opener for me,

I already knew a little about the problem of romance fraud, there was a news story recently about one of the big places that criminals traffic people to and then make them carry out these scams and as someone who spends a reasonable amount of time on social media I have been approached by fake celebrities before. Sometimes, like Holmes, I string them along a little but most of the time I just block and report.

Holmes has done an excellent job at raising awareness of the scale of this problem and how it affects people. As she points out, there is a lot of victim blaming when people talk about it but just like any other type of coercive control these criminals don’t start off asking for money straight away, they work on their victims and know exactly which buttons to push. It doesn’t work every time but it’s a numbers game to them, they have multiple scams going at a time and move on when one doesn’t work.

Like any other kind of abuse, this type of fraud works mainly by encouraging secrecy so the victim blaming actually works in the fraudsters’ favour. Victims are scared of saying anything once they have realised what’s happened because they think they’ll be blamed and nobody will believe them.

Holmes’ mixes in some of the funny anecdotes from her experiences with romance fraudsters, which definitely helps lighten what could be a very heavy subject, but in no way is she minimising how serious this is.

I really enjoyed her writing style as a whole. She was sensitive when she needed to be but also able to make a joke and lighten the mood when necessary. It also had a nice flow to it, which helped keep me reading and made for a very quick read.

The stories from some of the women she has spoken to who have been taken advantage of are absolutely heartbreaking. The way these absolute scumbags have manipulated and played with people’s lives is awful.

Even worse, for me, was the lack of any decent amount of help available for people. Holmes herself expressed frustration at the processes involved in reporting cases of romance fraud and it’s so clear that something needs to change.

Hopefully the more awareness gets raised around this issue the less people will be taken advantage of and the criminals will run out of people to victimise. It’s so important to keep an eye on any friends or family members who might be vulnerable to this type of crime and make sure they are aware of this danger.

Overall, a funny and informative book.

Mixed feelings about this one - it does have some interesting insights into scams, how they work and why some people are susceptible (there are even useful bullet-pointed lists). But the author's humour really didn't work for me (which is fine, humour is very personal). I would have liked more depth and perhaps more about the scammers and their motives too.

There are podcasts which, for me, have done this better. Love, Janessa looks at this issue from the perspective of victims, scammers and a woman whose stolen image has been used by online scammers worldwide. The second series of Love Bombed focuses on a woman victim but also speaks to a scammer and a police officer who deals with victims.
*
Copy from NetGalley

When it comes to amazing book titles, Keanu Reeves is Not in Love With You is right up there. This non-fiction book from Becky Holmes delves into the murky world of online romance fraud. So while the title works to put a smile on your face – and yes, it did draw me in and make me want to read it – the topic is a serious one. And one I’m so pleased I now know more about.

In lockdown, Becky Holmes started a Twitter account @deathtospinach (because, yes, she just doesn’t like spinach) and was shocked at the amount of unsolicited messages she got from men trying to initiate romantic relationships – with the aim to get money out of her.

In Keanu Reeves is Not in Love With You, Becky shares transcripts of her messing with the online scammers in hilarious exchanges. She is approached by A LOT of Keanus – hence this book’s title. But she does this to highlight the serious issue. For every scammer she calls out – hopefully that’s one less to prey on another woman.

She notes that the amount of scams rocketed during lockdown as so many more people found themselves lonely, isolated and turning to social media to alleviate that. And the scammers knew that. You see, it’s not (always) one random man messaging a few women.

I was truly shocked to learn the huge level and scale of these scam operations. There are offices and scripts – based majoritively in Africa and Malaysia – that even tip into human trafficking territory.

The whole crime is currently so unregulated and unaccountable. Often women who report being scammed online, losing their life’s savings, see no action taken. What’s even more terrifying is how AI is only going to make it so much easier for scammers to fake whole people and back stories and ruin the lives of so many more.

A key part of Keanu Reeves is Not in Love With You are the real accounts from women Becky interviews who have been victims of online relationship fraud. These true stories really hit home how lives are destroyed by this crime.

It’s scary how believable some of these scammers can be. Becky looks into the psychology of it all and points out that all the women she interviews are intelligent, articulate women who often consider themselves quite street-smart too. It’s other drivers that account for what happens.

Keanu Reeves is Not in Love With You reminds me a lot of the podcast I recently listened to Love Bombed – although that played out in real life rather than online – if you’re after further insight into the topic.

Overall, this is a great book that highlights the urgent changes needed to laws in order to keep women safe in this rapidly growing crime area.

Holmes writes with humour and empathy as she explores the disturbing world of online love scams. The first part of the book covers her own conversations with online scammers, where she becomes increasingly ridiculous in her responses to test how far they will go with a conversation. The latter part of the book is an insight into how these scams take place, why, and how so many people become victim to sending money to people they have never met. The stories of some women Holmes interviewed are included, all extremely sad and to an extent unbelievable to read, however, there is a lot of sympathy in how they are examined. An interesting topic, but written in a funny and engaging way. Thank you to NetGalley and Unbound for the ARC.

Keanu Reeves is NOT in love with you
by Becky Holmes

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I was drawn to this book, having had several (thousand) conversations with scammers online, and I was curious as to how someone could make a book out of it.

I was not disappointed. Right from the very start, Becky was straight in with the funny side of having conversations with people online, and she even shared screenshots of several conversations she'd had... Some with Keanu Reeves (fake Keanu, more like "Diet Keanu with a twist").

As the book progressed, Becky spoke about the more realistic side of vulnerable people, and some incredibly smart people who have been scammed in "romance fraud" online.

It's such a shame to read people's experiences in this, and to read just how much money some people have lost. It's not just the financial loss either, it's the emotional and mental distress that comes with being fooled by someone who they thought was genuine.

I only give my books a score out of 5, but this book deserves so much more credit. It's a great read, and I finished it in 4 hrs 33 mins (according to Bookmory), and I seriously recommend this book, not only to those who may have experienced these types of conversations in the past, but to all women (and men) who do use social media platforms.

This is a bit of a strange one. There were some elements of this book I thought were super interesting but also some aspects which I felt disappointed by.

I suppose firstly, while this is non-fiction it’s very much infotainment. The author is someone who became exposed to twitter and romance fraud at the start of the pandemic and then, after becoming intrigued by it, proceeded to explore and investigate the nature of romance fraud on her own.

I really enjoyed the case studies, although they were often tragic, as they kind of highlighted how often these cases can snowball from a small exchange and the massive scope of the damage that can be caused. I thought that it did a lovely job of humanizing these cases and highlighted how often victims are normal people in periods of vulnerability.

I also thought that this was a really good accessible point into some of the problems and basic psychological theories that underpin the issues with these relationships and the similarities present with domestic violence dynamics.

I found that the tone of humor in this started to get a bit grating by the second half though. I think that perhaps the darker content in the book didn’t really align fantastically with the off the cuff tone of humor.

I also found that this account was heavily biased to the victims, which I completely understand, as what they suffer is horrific. But I would have personally enjoyed a more unbiased exploration of the nature and circumstances of the scammers as well. Especially given what I already know of the role of human trafficking by Chinese organized crime and the horrific treatment that these people are subject to themselves. It is mentioned very briefly (like a page or two) but when compared to how much is dedicated to the horrible crimes that the scammers commit in Nigeria and Ghana such as torture, murder and black magic you can’t help but feel that a very specific narrative is being pushed to further villainize the scammers.

Either way, there was some very interesting content in here and I think if the topic interests you then you may enjoyed it.

Thank you NetGalley and Unbound for the opportunity to read and review this book.

I was provided an ARC copy of this book through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
This book was definitely not all bad. It attempts to shed more light on the subject of romance fraud, something that is underreported and can have devastating consequences to victims. I appreciate how the author was able to talk about such a serious topic with so much humor while still being respectful and empathetic, and I deeply enjoyed the sections taken from Twitter DM conversations she’d had with the scammers themselves, interspersed with lessons about common scams to watch out for. This book was short, but it managed to pack a lot of information into its 200 pages.

But now we get to what I didn’t like about the book. Like I said, this book was able to convey a ton of information, but I think that was a bit of a flaw as well. The author was trying to do to many things at once, and so all of them ended up falling a little flat. Was this a funny story meant to spread light on online scams and embarrass those who defraud others? Was it meant as a cautionary tale or a psychological investigation into why we fall for (objectively somewhat obvious) scams? I’m not sure.

I also found some of the parts of this book to be a little… tone deaf. I didn’t read this book to hear the author make fun of her weight for 200 pages, first off, and I also thought that the tone read a little bit weird when she was talking about scams originating from Nigeria and Southeast Asia. It just reads very middle-aged white woman from England if that makes any sense (which I guess would be accurate because she is a middle-aged white woman from England).
Overall, I think this book was a good attempt at what it set out to do, but I think it needed some serious edits and tone shifts before publishing.

This book tackles a significant and educational topic in a hilariously engaging manner. I found myself bursting into laughter multiple times while reading – a truly unprecedented experience for me. The inclusion of Twitter message screenshots added a delightful and distinctive element that kept me eagerly flipping through the pages. Despite the serious nature and gravity of the scams targeting women, the lighthearted approach proved effective in capturing my attention from the very beginning. Kudos to Becky Holmes for championing women caught in such situations and empowering them to reclaim their agency. Without a doubt, Becky Holmes ranks among the wittiest authors I've come across. This book is an absolute must-read!

A heartfelt thank you to Unbound and NetGalley for the copy for my honest review.