Keanu Reeves is Not In Love With You is an investigation into the murky world of online dating fraud. I found this an absolutely fascinating and, at times, shocking read. It was also extremely entertaining due to Becky Holmes’ skill as a comic writer. There were times I actually laughed out loud at some of her exploits with would-be scammers. The material from interviews with both victims and perpetrators was a real eye-opener for me,

I already knew a little about the problem of romance fraud, there was a news story recently about one of the big places that criminals traffic people to and then make them carry out these scams and as someone who spends a reasonable amount of time on social media I have been approached by fake celebrities before. Sometimes, like Holmes, I string them along a little but most of the time I just block and report.

Holmes has done an excellent job at raising awareness of the scale of this problem and how it affects people. As she points out, there is a lot of victim blaming when people talk about it but just like any other type of coercive control these criminals don’t start off asking for money straight away, they work on their victims and know exactly which buttons to push. It doesn’t work every time but it’s a numbers game to them, they have multiple scams going at a time and move on when one doesn’t work.

Like any other kind of abuse, this type of fraud works mainly by encouraging secrecy so the victim blaming actually works in the fraudsters’ favour. Victims are scared of saying anything once they have realised what’s happened because they think they’ll be blamed and nobody will believe them.

Holmes’ mixes in some of the funny anecdotes from her experiences with romance fraudsters, which definitely helps lighten what could be a very heavy subject, but in no way is she minimising how serious this is.

I really enjoyed her writing style as a whole. She was sensitive when she needed to be but also able to make a joke and lighten the mood when necessary. It also had a nice flow to it, which helped keep me reading and made for a very quick read.

The stories from some of the women she has spoken to who have been taken advantage of are absolutely heartbreaking. The way these absolute scumbags have manipulated and played with people’s lives is awful.

Even worse, for me, was the lack of any decent amount of help available for people. Holmes herself expressed frustration at the processes involved in reporting cases of romance fraud and it’s so clear that something needs to change.

Hopefully the more awareness gets raised around this issue the less people will be taken advantage of and the criminals will run out of people to victimise. It’s so important to keep an eye on any friends or family members who might be vulnerable to this type of crime and make sure they are aware of this danger.

Overall, a funny and informative book.

Mixed feelings about this one - it does have some interesting insights into scams, how they work and why some people are susceptible (there are even useful bullet-pointed lists). But the author's humour really didn't work for me (which is fine, humour is very personal). I would have liked more depth and perhaps more about the scammers and their motives too.

There are podcasts which, for me, have done this better. Love, Janessa looks at this issue from the perspective of victims, scammers and a woman whose stolen image has been used by online scammers worldwide. The second series of Love Bombed focuses on a woman victim but also speaks to a scammer and a police officer who deals with victims.
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Copy from NetGalley

When it comes to amazing book titles, Keanu Reeves is Not in Love With You is right up there. This non-fiction book from Becky Holmes delves into the murky world of online romance fraud. So while the title works to put a smile on your face – and yes, it did draw me in and make me want to read it – the topic is a serious one. And one I’m so pleased I now know more about.

In lockdown, Becky Holmes started a Twitter account @deathtospinach (because, yes, she just doesn’t like spinach) and was shocked at the amount of unsolicited messages she got from men trying to initiate romantic relationships – with the aim to get money out of her.

In Keanu Reeves is Not in Love With You, Becky shares transcripts of her messing with the online scammers in hilarious exchanges. She is approached by A LOT of Keanus – hence this book’s title. But she does this to highlight the serious issue. For every scammer she calls out – hopefully that’s one less to prey on another woman.

She notes that the amount of scams rocketed during lockdown as so many more people found themselves lonely, isolated and turning to social media to alleviate that. And the scammers knew that. You see, it’s not (always) one random man messaging a few women.

I was truly shocked to learn the huge level and scale of these scam operations. There are offices and scripts – based majoritively in Africa and Malaysia – that even tip into human trafficking territory.

The whole crime is currently so unregulated and unaccountable. Often women who report being scammed online, losing their life’s savings, see no action taken. What’s even more terrifying is how AI is only going to make it so much easier for scammers to fake whole people and back stories and ruin the lives of so many more.

A key part of Keanu Reeves is Not in Love With You are the real accounts from women Becky interviews who have been victims of online relationship fraud. These true stories really hit home how lives are destroyed by this crime.

It’s scary how believable some of these scammers can be. Becky looks into the psychology of it all and points out that all the women she interviews are intelligent, articulate women who often consider themselves quite street-smart too. It’s other drivers that account for what happens.

Keanu Reeves is Not in Love With You reminds me a lot of the podcast I recently listened to Love Bombed – although that played out in real life rather than online – if you’re after further insight into the topic.

Overall, this is a great book that highlights the urgent changes needed to laws in order to keep women safe in this rapidly growing crime area.

Holmes writes with humour and empathy as she explores the disturbing world of online love scams. The first part of the book covers her own conversations with online scammers, where she becomes increasingly ridiculous in her responses to test how far they will go with a conversation. The latter part of the book is an insight into how these scams take place, why, and how so many people become victim to sending money to people they have never met. The stories of some women Holmes interviewed are included, all extremely sad and to an extent unbelievable to read, however, there is a lot of sympathy in how they are examined. An interesting topic, but written in a funny and engaging way. Thank you to NetGalley and Unbound for the ARC.

Keanu Reeves is NOT in love with you
by Becky Holmes

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I was drawn to this book, having had several (thousand) conversations with scammers online, and I was curious as to how someone could make a book out of it.

I was not disappointed. Right from the very start, Becky was straight in with the funny side of having conversations with people online, and she even shared screenshots of several conversations she'd had... Some with Keanu Reeves (fake Keanu, more like "Diet Keanu with a twist").

As the book progressed, Becky spoke about the more realistic side of vulnerable people, and some incredibly smart people who have been scammed in "romance fraud" online.

It's such a shame to read people's experiences in this, and to read just how much money some people have lost. It's not just the financial loss either, it's the emotional and mental distress that comes with being fooled by someone who they thought was genuine.

I only give my books a score out of 5, but this book deserves so much more credit. It's a great read, and I finished it in 4 hrs 33 mins (according to Bookmory), and I seriously recommend this book, not only to those who may have experienced these types of conversations in the past, but to all women (and men) who do use social media platforms.

This is a bit of a strange one. There were some elements of this book I thought were super interesting but also some aspects which I felt disappointed by.

I suppose firstly, while this is non-fiction it’s very much infotainment. The author is someone who became exposed to twitter and romance fraud at the start of the pandemic and then, after becoming intrigued by it, proceeded to explore and investigate the nature of romance fraud on her own.

I really enjoyed the case studies, although they were often tragic, as they kind of highlighted how often these cases can snowball from a small exchange and the massive scope of the damage that can be caused. I thought that it did a lovely job of humanizing these cases and highlighted how often victims are normal people in periods of vulnerability.

I also thought that this was a really good accessible point into some of the problems and basic psychological theories that underpin the issues with these relationships and the similarities present with domestic violence dynamics.

I found that the tone of humor in this started to get a bit grating by the second half though. I think that perhaps the darker content in the book didn’t really align fantastically with the off the cuff tone of humor.

I also found that this account was heavily biased to the victims, which I completely understand, as what they suffer is horrific. But I would have personally enjoyed a more unbiased exploration of the nature and circumstances of the scammers as well. Especially given what I already know of the role of human trafficking by Chinese organized crime and the horrific treatment that these people are subject to themselves. It is mentioned very briefly (like a page or two) but when compared to how much is dedicated to the horrible crimes that the scammers commit in Nigeria and Ghana such as torture, murder and black magic you can’t help but feel that a very specific narrative is being pushed to further villainize the scammers.

Either way, there was some very interesting content in here and I think if the topic interests you then you may enjoyed it.

Thank you NetGalley and Unbound for the opportunity to read and review this book.

I was provided an ARC copy of this book through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
This book was definitely not all bad. It attempts to shed more light on the subject of romance fraud, something that is underreported and can have devastating consequences to victims. I appreciate how the author was able to talk about such a serious topic with so much humor while still being respectful and empathetic, and I deeply enjoyed the sections taken from Twitter DM conversations she’d had with the scammers themselves, interspersed with lessons about common scams to watch out for. This book was short, but it managed to pack a lot of information into its 200 pages.

But now we get to what I didn’t like about the book. Like I said, this book was able to convey a ton of information, but I think that was a bit of a flaw as well. The author was trying to do to many things at once, and so all of them ended up falling a little flat. Was this a funny story meant to spread light on online scams and embarrass those who defraud others? Was it meant as a cautionary tale or a psychological investigation into why we fall for (objectively somewhat obvious) scams? I’m not sure.

I also found some of the parts of this book to be a little… tone deaf. I didn’t read this book to hear the author make fun of her weight for 200 pages, first off, and I also thought that the tone read a little bit weird when she was talking about scams originating from Nigeria and Southeast Asia. It just reads very middle-aged white woman from England if that makes any sense (which I guess would be accurate because she is a middle-aged white woman from England).
Overall, I think this book was a good attempt at what it set out to do, but I think it needed some serious edits and tone shifts before publishing.

This book tackles a significant and educational topic in a hilariously engaging manner. I found myself bursting into laughter multiple times while reading – a truly unprecedented experience for me. The inclusion of Twitter message screenshots added a delightful and distinctive element that kept me eagerly flipping through the pages. Despite the serious nature and gravity of the scams targeting women, the lighthearted approach proved effective in capturing my attention from the very beginning. Kudos to Becky Holmes for championing women caught in such situations and empowering them to reclaim their agency. Without a doubt, Becky Holmes ranks among the wittiest authors I've come across. This book is an absolute must-read!

A heartfelt thank you to Unbound and NetGalley for the copy for my honest review.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an advance copy of this book with no obligation to review.

This is really more of a book for dipping into I think although I did read it all at once. The order in which you read the chapters doesn't really matter either.

These scams have been around forever and a day - I remember the military widower being warned about more than 10 years ago but it seems that the scams are still going strong and i hope this book reaches people who are unaware of what goes on. I didnt know that some of the scammers are unwilling and being exploited themselves. .

The author is quite funny although her language is, shall we say, robust and, unfortunately, there is a lot of repetition in the experiences of the victims but you can always skim these bits.

I hope the book does well and succeeds in its aim.

Favourite Quote: "All I ever think about is Greg Davies, when the next Next sale is going to be on, and how to get rid of my increasingly fat back."

A big thank you to Netgalley, Unbound, and Becky Holmes for providing me with an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review. I know they say never judge a book by its cover, but that's exactly what I did here! How could I resist Keanu Reeves? And I'm glad I made that choice.

I am a huge true crime, scammer, romance-fraud unveiling fan in my every day life (honestly the number of Discovery documentaries I watch should be a crime) and this work did not disappoint. Holmes brings an extremely witty take on this topic, using a great mix of true stories, screenshots of her decimating trolls, and infrormative legal facts. I also enjoyed the deep compassion and understanding she displayed for all those who had gone through a romance fraud and her thoughtful takes on how society typically views this issue. In a world with increasing technological capabilities, it's opening a whole new world up to these fraudsters and seeing someone trying to spread genuine information and facts made for a great read.

An easy 4 stars from me!

The book takes a serious topic that people would benefit from being educated on and educates in a way that is absoutely hilarious. I’ve never laughed out loud so many times while reading a book. I loved getting to read the Twitter message screenshots - it added a fun, unique aspect that kept me turning pages quickly. Though the reality and gravity of what these scammers do to women hits hard, I appreciated the lighthearted approach as I think it succeeds in gripping you from the very beginning. I applaud Becky Holmes for being a champion for women that have found themselves in these situations and showing them they can take their power back. Becky Holmes is genuinely one of the funniest authors I’ve ever encountered. This is a must read!

Thank you Unbound and NetGalley for the ARC!

A great book showing how easy some people are sucked into online romance scams over various social media platforms.
I found the section about Liam Neeson and the Irish accent so funny and Beckys reaction to it.

I found the premise of this book to be intriguing so I had to check it out. Obviously we have all heard stories of people, particularly women, who have been scammed out of a lot of money by someone they met online. It’s very easy to blow them off and think “how stupid are they to fall for that?“ But this book shows how these scammers can really make you believe they are who they say they are. I found the book fascinating reading the different personas that these scammers will take, and I found the personal stories these women shared to be heartbreaking. This was a very eye-opening book, and also terrifying!

Thank you to the author and NetGalley for the advance reader copy. This is my honest review. Publication date April 2, 2024.

Though the subject of this book is quite serious and I feel truly awful for the women that are susceptible to these scams and get burned by it...I will say that I have not laughed out loud at a book as much as I did this one. Scamming the scammers sounds like great fun and I'm actually kind of tempted to give it a go myself. Thank you Becky for raising awareness to these scams and also for making me laugh my ass off. Please write more!

"Keanu Reeves is Not in Love with You" blends comedy with the serious topic of online fraud, delivering laughs and sharp insights courtesy of Becky Holmes. This book strikes a balance between humor and the harsh realities of internet romance, making it a compelling and enjoyable read. With its mix of funny moments and sobering truths, it's a must-read for anyone intrigued by the dynamics of online relationships.

This is funny and an entertaining and interesting read tbh but it just wasn't for me! I obviously requested this ARC because of 1) the title and 2) the cover. I've never heard of the author before, but it's clear they have a robust sense of humour and a lot of empathy for the people they interview throughout this book. Essentially, it's a nonfiction book dealing with romance scams, including people who pretend to be pilots, doctors, even celebrities and target others. There's a lot of pulling from conversations she's had with these scammers which is ludicrously funny to read, because it seems ridiculous that they would fall for <i>her</i> part in it, but I guess that's to me, a person who knows about the internet.

Undoubtedly, this will be a bit of an easy breezy resource for people and it might hit home for a number. It <i>is</i> funny!

BUT! I started to find it grating and a bit samey after a way. This is very Millenial Humour (TM). It's an easy read and I think makes a number of points about how it's unfair that there isn't more well-rounded and impactful education on romance scams, for the people who are more likely to fall for it. I think that's a good point and maybe the tone will hit well with them because it's very nonjudgmental. For me, personally, I ended up rolling my eyes a few times but I think that's because this kind of tone would work for me in an essay, maybe, or something shorter. This isn't even a long book (the ARC ebook I got is 194 pages) but it was too sustained for me. I also think I was a bit uncomfortable with the section where she specifically talks about the prolific scams that are apparently from Nigeria or South East Asia. Tbh, I hadn't heard about the pigbutchering scams so I Learned Something. In this section particularly, the tone struck an odd edge with me and I really didn't like it.

I do think this is an interesting book, I think it'll probably do decently well, and I think the tone will make it an easy and entertaining read for a lot of people. It wasn't really for me and I thought it was too repetitive but I think it's more a case of picking up something I maybe shouldn't have.

Like I say, I got this as an ARC from Netgally so ty ty ty. I think this comes out in April and I think a lot of people might enjoy it more.

I gotta be real, all I knew about romance scams before reading this book was through my various forays down 90 Day Fiancé rabbit holes. But the world of romance scams is a lot more dark and sinister than it may appear. And while parts of this book were truly, deeply disturbing and horrifying, author Becky Holmes delivers this information with a very calming and comedic voice, paired with nothing but empathy and gentleness towards the victims of these schemes. At one point she breaks from the narrative to talk about a subject’s cat which honestly, I respect. A very informative and chilling read with wonderful moments of comic relief.

Thank you Netgalley for this ARC of Keanu Reeves is Not in Love With You.

If you're into true crime documentaries, there's a good chance that you have seen circumstances of dating fraud, like The Tinder Swindler. People posing as your future spouse, only to be left broke, heartbroken, and utterly scammed.

Becky Holmes deep dives into dating fraud in the most HILARIOUS way possible, often by putting one over on the scammer. I can't say this enough, she is so funny, so clever, and had me reading parts to my half asleep husband at 1am. But she's also very informative and provides a giant warning to anyone who is dating online. No one is exempt from this, and we live in a world where we have to put a modicum of trust into people being who they say they are. The bottom line is, don't give anyone online money, not gift cards, not bitcoin. And if they ask, give them your middle finger.

With a title like Keanu Reeves is Not in Love with You you would expect this to be a really funny comedic novel about the perils of online fraud and Becky Holmes definitely delivered on that front. There were moments of this book that I laughed out loud. Becky Holmes really has got the funniest comebacks.

The best way I can describe this book is a bit of a sad sandwich. When you are holding your stomach giggling Becky Holmes blindsides you with the harsh realities by showing you the true devastation with real life stories.

Keanu Reeves is Not in Love with You is a funny book with a serious message and is definitely worth a read.

Keanu Reeves is Not in Love with You - The Murky World of Online Romance by Becky Holmes is available now.

For more information regarding Becky Holmes (@deathtospinach) please visit her Twitter page.

For more information regarding Unbound (@unbounders) please visit www.unbound.com.