Member Reviews
I thoroughly enjoyed this exploration of the world of romance fraud. I knew a little about this crime from watching reality TV shows such as Catfish but Holmes' book is far more in-depth. More than just telling stories of how people get conned out of money and get their hearts broken in the process, she arms the reader with tools to spot these scammers early on. The book's title alone gives you an idea of the tone of its contents. Holmes' message is an important one and it's a compelling read helped in large part by her liberal sprinkling of sarcasm and dry humour throughout.
In each chapter, Holmes shares a story that illustrates her overall message. She treats the victims of romance fraud she writes about with a great deal of care and understanding. She challenges the view that anyone who falls victim to romance fraud deserves what happens to them for not being savvy enough to see what was happening. Instead she points out that the majority of victims are just nice people, looking for love whose only crime was trusting someone.
Holmes herself admits that the book only looks at heterosexual couples where women were the victims. She hinted at perhaps writing a book which covers what romance fraud looks like in same sex couples and how the tactics used can differ. I would be very interested in reading that book and I hope she goes on to write it.
I recommend this book to everyone. Given its prevalence, there is a high chance that we have either been the victim or know a victim of romance fraud and the first step in tackling this awful crime is to know what it looks like in all its forms. I learned a lot from this book and I am grateful to the women who allowed their stories to be told so that, hopefully, in the future these scammers won't be able to get away with it.
Enjoyed this a lot. A quick read that started off funny and then got really dark really fast. I read it in a day and wasn't expecting to be reading about scam organisations harvesting organs, I learned a lot. I do find the title to be a personal insult though, absolute slander.
Thank you for the arc, it's not something I would have normally picked up otherwise.
Keanu Reeves is Not in Love With You surprised me in a few ways. Becky is very funny, and it is clear she has enjoyed her investigations into romance fraud. I'm not a twitter fan so haven't seen her tweets so this book opens out Becky's investigation to a wider audience. I was also shocked at how little there is to support people effected by romance fraud (and fraud in general).
I found the book a little up and down. I appreciated the humour but found some of Becky's responses to be ludicrous, and whilst I know this is hammering home the fact that the fraudster isn't taking any notice of what you are saying it became a little tedious. The personal accounts were really eye opening and interesting, I found these sections to be more of the investigative journalism I had assumed the book would contain. I appreciated the section on where to go and what to do if you are involved in romance fraud and think that this book could be vital for some people who are blind to what romance fraud is.
Thoughtful , funny and insightful!
With thanks to netgalley and the author
I have heard of romance fraud but only thought magazines such as take a break.
Keanu Reeves is Not in Love with you opened my eyes to how bad Romance fraud is and how much it can affect people.
Even thought there is a lot of humour in this book, which made me laugh out loud at parts, it’s also deals with what the sufferers have to go through which made me feel very angry.
A brilliant book that I will be recommending to my friends and family.
I will also be following Becky on twitter .
Romance fraud is terrifyingly on the increase and this book takes a witty and poignant look at these scams and their impact.
The well-pitched humour is balanced gently with the heartfelt stories shared by the innocent victims of these awful crimes.
Every DM you get from a stranger on social media should automatically come with a pop-up link to read this book!
Ho imparato più di quanto immaginassi (o, francamente, desiderassi sapere...) sul mondo delle frodi amorose: sono crimini poco conosciuti, che spesso non vengono denunciati per vergogna, e con una derisione delle vittime e una sottovalutazione dei danni, sia economici che emotivi, impressionante.
Invece sono un crimine, diffusissimo, con predatori organizzati che hanno l'unico scopo di rovinare le proprie vittime: e il fatto che lo facciano online non lo rende meno grave, o devastante. Francamente, le testimonianze delle vittime mi hanno stretto il cuore, perché mostrano come ci si approfitti di una fragilità, anche momentanea, per generare una dipendenza psicologica gravissima.
Lo stile è vivace (alle volte forse troppo, vagamente stancante), ma questo non toglie la sincerità e dell'empatia dell'autrice nei confronti delle vittime - e dei loro parenti, sono crimini che hanno ripercussioni su molte persone.
Una lettura interessante e vagamente allarmante.
I love Becky Holmes and her quest to “scam the scammers”. This book is a more in-depth than her social media accounts and will have you laughing out loud in some spots and shaking your head in others.
I first discovered Becky Holmes on Twitter/X where she has the brilliant and hilarious account, @deathtospinach - a platform she uses to take down some of the sleazier characters who send her messages. She's funny and sassy and so entertaining, so I was delighted to hear she had written a book. Sign me up for a review copy!
Thanks to NetGalley for granting me a copy to review - opinions, as always, are my own.
In this book, Becky Holmes tackles the topic of online romance fraud - all those 'Keanu Reeves' and similar accounts that try to woo unsuspecting women on the internet with the aim of taking money from them. Some of this involved engaging with the scammers themselves, but Holmes also talks to women who have been the victims of such fraudulent activity - and warns against the way that the scammers are getting smarter and harder to resist.
As expected, some of the book is very funny - many of Holmes' exchanges with the scammers made me laugh out loud as she proves that they often don't really engage with the women in their mission to make money. This means that she gets away with some outrageous and ridiculous conversations - the dachshund one was my favourite (which I won't recreate here because I don't want to spoil it for future readers!), and the hand-drawn gift cards, and the stalking of the 'oil rig' scammer. Loads of it made me laugh and I commend Holmes' imagination and drive to come up with these things!
There is a much more serious side to the book as well - this lies in Holmes' interviews with victims of this type of fraud and her stories about her own past. There are some really tragic tales from women who - for a whole host of reasons - have lost a lot to these online fraudsters, and the loss is beyond monetary. Family relationships, self-esteem, what they believed to be a chance at love - all lost and it's really sad. I kind of expected to feel that this only happened to quite gullible people, but some of the techniques used to ensnare the women were actually really clever and increasingly more sophisticated (obvious Keanus aside!) Holmes balances the tragedies with her trademark humour, but the book is hugely impactful on the fallout from online romance fraud.
There's quite an educational slant to some of the book too, as Holmes explains the background to the scams, the techniques used and the sources of help for those affected.
I'd whole-heartedly recommend this book to anyone who uses social media (and - if you do - check out @deathtospinach on Twitter/X). It's a highly engaging and entertaining way of looking at a very serious issue - and it might just make you a bit savvier next time you are online too.
Loved this book! Tackled a sensitive subject with a whole lot of humour and compassion and hilarious personal experiences. It was clear the author had done a lot of research and the book came across as a mix of information on the subject along with tales of other peoples dealings with romance scammers and the authors own dealing with them aswell.
I didn't know much about romance fraud before reading this illuminating (and entertaining) book. The irreverent humour never detracts from the seriousness of the topic, and both her anger and empathy shine through.
A really important read that had me hooked from the outset. I follow Holmes on twitter so was familiar with her hilarious exchanges with Keanu Reeves Impersonators already and this contained many more funny exchanges with people that has contacted her online. Beneath the mirth, Holmes, delves into the very merky and quite scary world of romance fraud. It is a must read for everyone as the scammers become more sophisticated anyone could be deceived. The personal stories show the emotional, physical and mental consequences that affect those that are conned by these criminals. I was appalled but fascinated as Holmes shows the scripts that scammers use to ensnare victims and the exploitation experienced by some committing the crimes. A compulsive and important read!
The title and cover of this book drew me in right away. Holmes’ writing style in the first half was so incredibly funny… her writing style sucks you in, makes you laugh and keeps you entertained. Romance fraud is a serious scam going around and is only getting worse, especially with vulnerable individuals, and Holmes finds a way to bring the severity of it to our attention in a way that we want to read about. The first half was so much fun and the screenshots of conversations Holmes had were hilarious! The second half of the book felt a little slower and the takeaway was basically “this is happening and there’s nothing anyone can do”, which is a sad reality. The stories of the victims were all similar, if not exactly the same, and it got tiring reading it over and over again - this was probably to make a point and help us recognize patterns. The part about the Yahoo Boys and harvesting organs was highly disturbing and I felt as if 2-3 pages of this topic sprinkled in there wasn’t enough. I felt as if Holmes could have explained it more in depth (especially to what extent this happens), or not have mentioned it all. As someone who loves to travel, this book made me feel afraid to ever visit Nigeria in fear of being kidnapped in my hotel and sold for parts. I hope, as Holmes does, that this book will be one step in the right direction of bringing to light the helplessness of these victims and that we can one day, find a way to stop these thieves!
Thank you, NetGalley and Unbound for the ARC copy for my genuine, honest feedback.
Totally downloaded this ARC purely for the title, and am so pleased I did.
A great light read addressing a little-discussed problem in the online space, this walked the line between being entertaining and serious. Very enjoyable, and I read it in a day
A good story about how you can be scammed or involved in a bizarre story online. There's plenty of humour and there's a lot of food for thought
Recommended.
Many thanks to the publisher for this ARC, all opinions are mine
This feels like a very important book! I thought I was quite astute and could never be hooked into an online romance. Ignore the fact that I am very happily married! I get the feeling that absolutely anyone could suffer the consequences highlighted here.
The book uses humour initially to encourage you to find out more about this subject matter. I liked that.. The reader quickly finds out how many of our misconceptions work against us! Some of the experiences suffered by people were very disturbing.
I had two main insights!
My first feeling is that this book should be on the school curriculum! Youngsters would quickly relate to the subject matter and as a result be on a higher level of awareness! That would help.and make you less susceptible.
The second insight is how remarkably powerless law enforcement and other agencies are in dealing with or preventing this type of crime! Perhaps more global cooperation in the shape of collaborative efforts would be a start!
Okay, I will admit something. If a random person happens to message me on WhatsApp or Instagram, in my past I have been known to mess around with them a little. Hence where I discovered Becky Holmes’ Twitter account from. In the past, I have always had a great chuckle at her scammer trolling antics. So, I could not resist checking out her debut novel on the same topic.
First of all, Holmes’ writing voice is at times vulnerable, always incredibly unique, and oftentimes doused with humorous anecdotes. What more could you want from a writer, really? In Keanu Reeves Is Not In Love With You, Holmes explains the topic of romance scammers in an incredibly accessible way by using real life case studies and bullet point lists, all written with a deep sense of understanding regarding the sensitive topic. She also shares her own attempts at trolling scammers (the content which she primarily shares on Twitter) by inserting a few screenshots here and there, which serve as a great boundary between the heavier conversations which she undertakes.
This is honestly a book for everyone, and even if, like myself, you have no experience with being conned online (apart from the odd message from a suspicious looking sugar daddy), it makes for a fascinating read. The internet is getting increasingly scary out there, and there is no time like the present to remind your loved ones about being safe.
Four out of five scammers, ahem, I mean stars.
A poignant. hilarious, shocking and informative mix of a book. Keanu Reeves Is Not In Love With You will make you laugh out loud, feel empathy, sorrow, and shock you to the core.
The author explores every side of Romance Fraud, from poking the perpetrators (with funny results), revealing victims horrifying stories, and exploring the after effects and support network - or not.
Every person, male or female, should read a copy of this book. You may think you’re immune or too clever to be tricked by these dreadful scams, but anyone, anytime depending on personal circumstances, could be their next prey. If this book saves the pain for some person and some family by reading it, it has done its purpose. The author keeps you reading with her wit and sharp tongue, even through the more ‘technical’ parts. A good choice for a non-fiction read.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.
Terrifying, fascinating, informative, honest and enlightening, I could throw quite a few more adjectives your way just by means of describing this book and funny is probably the most surprising. The subject, of course, is not funny per se but the way the author introduces it and her responses to the scamming toads are brilliant and keeps a very serious subject engaging and cushions the blow of my shock and horror quite a lot.
The stories are very real, retold by very brave people who have encountered the fraudsters. The realisation that anyone could be targeted is terrifying but very eye opening, I really feel everyone should read this book. I throughly appreciated how the author advocates for these people and includes a focus on the language used to describe what happens to them as well as the woefully inadequate legal action and investigation that is forthcoming from authorities, despite the seriousness and ever expanding numbers of people affected.
The number of ways these people infiltrate lives is shocking but something I’ve also experienced, when playing scrabble type games, so not just those active on dating sites. Indeed ‘mine’ ticked all the boxes, one was working on an oil rig and one was in the military. I didn’t question this at the time, I just thought they were bored and sleazy I hadn’t contemplated they were after my money, even more offended now. I only exchanged a couple of messages - being terribly British and polite I didn’t want to outright ignore a Good Morning Dear opener, but quickly blocked them after they got rather friendly, erm I’m married, bye. Brilliant book from start to finish.
Absolutely lapped up this book. The first few chapters had me in stitches, it’s so funny. Then as the book progressed it became more serious, looking at romance fraud and how it so adversely affects the victims, and how incredibly difficult it is to do anything about it.
This book interested me as my mother was the victim of a romance scam by non other than "Keanu Reeves". Author Becky Holmes delves into the murky world of romance scams, at times her writing is witty and irreverent and other times she is serious as she tells the heartbreaking stories of women who fall prey to these scammers.
Becky shines a light on an often under-reported subject, she talks to psychologists, law enforcement, victims and even some people behind the scams.
I found the book informative and interesting. I hope that this book helps to raise awareness of scams and the ways to protect yourself.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an advance reader copy.