A dash of Sweet Magnolias, a splash of Salem’s Lot, and a sprinkle of The Southern Book Club’s Guide to Slaying Vampires and you’ll get close to this hysterical, absurd, cozy horror novel, Bless Your Heart by Lindy Ryan. This book is a whole lot of fun and the audio narration is top notch!

Review | Bless Your Heart

I’ve been loving the number of books publishing that are set in the 90s. That time period just barely scrapes by as old enough to have a completely different vibe, but not so old that we are calling these historical fiction (yet). Those hazy days before cell phones and social media made us all perhaps a bit too connected to one another allow for stories like this to shine.

What’s Bless Your Heart about?

It’s 1999 in southeast Texas and the Evans family is busy as ever at their funeral parlor (the only one in town). Four generations of Evans women still work together on their family business—great-grandma Ducey, grandma Lenore, mama Grace, and teenager Luna. The Evans women have worked to put ‘That Godawful Mess’—a tragic incident fifteen years earlier—behind them. It claimed the lives of Grace and Lenore’s husbands in relatively short order, and it’s left an air of gossip surrounding the Evans women that they can’t escape.

Is it karma, then, when the biggest town gossip Mina Jean Murphy dies unexpectedly and ends up in their funeral parlor? (As an aside, how fitting is the name “Mina Jean” for a southern busybody?) Mina Jean never met a cigarette she could turn away, and the cancer finally took her. But not long after her body arrives at the Evan’s funeral parlor to be prepared for burial, it turns out that her body isn’t quite as dead as it seemed. Mina Jean is in the middle of having her funeral make up applied (Vamp lipstick is a nice touch), when her body rises right up from her coffin. Thankfully the Evans women are always prepared with a silver blade close at hand.

As the Evans women know better than anyone, Mina Jean’s undead rising is only the beginning of another flare that links to That Godawful Mess and it’s time for them to bring Luna into the fold. They have protected her as long as they can; the Evans women are the only ones who can stop the Strigoi—a supernatural creature they refer to as the “original vampire”—and prevent the plague from spreading to body after body. As the Evans women tackle the rising problem and try to discover who is behind the return of the Strigoi, they begin to realize that in a family and town with so many dark secrets, dead bodies aren’t the only thing you hope stays buried…

Why should you read it?

Don’t let the cute title and cover fool you into thinking this is a fluffy book—I would firmly consider this cozy horror. The book is humorous, but it has it’s share of (not overly graphic) gore. This is a book about the undead, after all. I personally didn’t find it too gory, but I think that depends on how much you can tolerate. I can handle up to a light-to-moderate amount and presented in a way that isn’t too dark—this book hit well within my range.

Lindy Ryan brings a wonderful wittiness to the dialogue in this book that is balanced perfectly with the southern drawl and charm. I listened to the audiobook which was narrated by Stephanie Németh-Parker and she brought that mix of biting wit and southern charm to life through this book. Ironically (given that this does have some gore), I think the audiobook might be the way to go over the physical book if you worry about it being too much. In the audiobook, those moments slid right by like a cold glass of lemonade, whereas reading the words can make you fixate on them longer and get stuck. Just my advice though!

Through alternating chapters, the reader gets the full spectrum of how people in this small town are finding out what is going on (with heavy emphasis on the Evans women). Luna, for instance, hasn’t been brought into the loop about the Strigoi or the general vampire slaying and undead burials that her family has done for generations. Luna’s mother Grace also is clearly carrying a heavier burden through the book—her chapters aren’t as sarcastic and light hearted as those narrated by grandma Lenore and great-grandma Ducey (who are, as the southerners say, a ‘hoot’). You’ll find out why Grace is responding that way as the events unfold and you learn the full truth about ‘That Godawful Mess’. That happens later in the story so just know going in that you’ll get the answers, but they come when it’s time for Luna to learn them as well.

Is there anything I’d change?

I saw another reviewer remark that Grace and Andy (Luna’s boyfriend) don’t have enough character development for their storylines to pay off at the end. I agree completely, and I think this is more true for Andy than it is for Grace, but it applies to both. There needs to be enough investment in their relationships with Luna for the emotional impact that their story arcs carry. Perhaps Ryan made the creative decision that she wanted to stick to dark humor as the tone for this book and worried about anything emotional weighing it down. I can’t say for sure because I read it the way it is. My only thought was that perhaps an epilogue might have helped with this, showing Luna and the other characters months or a year after the events of the book. We needed more of Ryan’s signature humor at the end—something we a bit of a wink and a sugar-coated verbal jab at the antagonists, delivered as sweetly as southern iced tea.

Final Thoughts

This book is absolutely a delight to read! It’s fun, dark, bizarre, and witty. Ryan’s writing adds the perfect comedic tone to the book, and Stephanie Németh-Parker’s narration on the audiobook brought it to life. If you’re a fan of Grady Hendrix, you’ll love this book.

Thank you to Minotaur Books and Macmillan Audio for my copy. Opinions are my own.

The Evans women own the funeral parlor in town. But they sometimes have to kill the “undead”. It seems the whole town is now under attack. And all the Evans women may have to take up their blades just to make everything go back the way it was. In other words, what rises up must go back down!

Well! This was not exactly what I was expecting. Y’all know I do not read the blurb and I should not have chosen this book. Just not my genre…you would think I would have gathered that from the cover…but the title Bless Your Heart got me. I was expecting a more light-hearted, fun, southern read! I was bamboozled!

This tale is a bit gruesome and graphic. However, I did enjoy the characters and the hunt to save the town. So, if you like vampires and people who come back to life…THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU!

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The narrator, Stephanie Németh-Parker did ok. But, there were several places that required very raspy voices. Just didn’t sit well with me.

I received this novel from the publisher for a honest review.

“Bless Your Heart” by Lindy Ryan is a captivating and quirky mystery/horror novel set in Texas during the summer of 1999. The story revolves around three generations of the Evans women, who run the town’s only funeral parlor. They are tasked with making sure that the dead STAY dead. They know they have a problem when more and more townsfolk start turning up dead, and not always staying that way. The Evans women find themselves having to protect their town, their family, and perhaps most importantly; their secrets.
Lindy Ryan delivers a quirky horror story, with characters that you cannot help but love. The pacing of the story kept me interested throughout, and I loved the premise of this book. The audio narrator did a great job of bringing the southern charm to life, and I would definitely recommend listening to this one!
If you are sensitive to gore at all, then this may not be for you. I did not expect the amount of gore that was here from the cute quirky cover or from the synopsis. So beware of that going in.
The issue I did have with this book is that I feel like we didn’t get to know these characters as well as I would have liked. I truly loved the dynamic of the 3 generations, and would have loved to get to know them on a deeper level.
Thank you to Macmillan Audio and Lindy Ryan for the ALC of this book! All opinions are my own.

“Not all family was blood, and—as far as Luna was concerned—not all blood was family.”

Fun! Funny! Fanatic women! Bless Your Heart is a light, yet somewhat gory, take on horror. It’s gore…with humor? Like I said, so fun.

This story is a little bit True Blood and a little bit The Walking Dead. And maybe a dash of a darker Steel Magnolias, with a funeral home instead of a hair salon as the career of choice.

The audiobook really elevated the story for me, helping me to get lost in this crazy world.

“Darkness was like a disease once it got its teeth in you. A hungry thing that didn’t let go. Sometimes you had to feed it, keep it satiated, to stop it from spreading.”

Thank you to Netgalley, Macmillan Audio, St. Martin’s Press, Minotaur Books, and the author for the ARC and ALC in exchange for an honest review.

I did listen to Bless Your Heart on audio this past week driving to and from work and it was highly entertaining and completely outside my normal genre. It is horror story of a small southern town in the late 1990s where zombies are terrorizing the town. But it is also funny, laugh out loud funny. And not actually scary because I hate scary things. It was filled with larger than life and quirky characters, southern charm and witty banter. And the narrator had a southern accent to really immerse you in the setting.

Horror is not one of my favorite genres, whether vampire-specific or otherwise. Still, I was enticed to read Bless Your Heart by the whimsical cover, the women family–owned business, and the mystery.

I felt like the story was somewhat repetitive, though some of that might be due to multiple points of view. The author tried to string us along too long, with the result being tedium, rather than excitement. I predicted the “bad guy” well ahead of the characters. I don't generally ding a book's rating for that if I'm suitably entertained, which I was in this case. It took me a while to figure out and keep track of the generations of women, as well as the supporting characters. Now that I “know” the players, I'm anxious for the next installment. Yes, this moderately gory vampire story has enough humor, sassy women, and mystery that I want more! 3.33⭐

This unbiased review is based on an audio ARC supplied by the publisher—Macmillan Audio. Publication is expected April 9.

📚 #BOOKREVIEW 📚
Bless Your Heart (A Bless Your Heart Novel, Book 1) by Lindy Ryan
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ / Pages: 301 / Genre: Horror
Audiobook Narrator: Stephanie Nemeth-Parker / Duration: 10 hours 50 minutes
Releases tomorrow!

The Evans women have been running a funeral parlor and taking care of the town’s pesky undead problem for three generations. This town is afflicted with Strigoi, which are technically living humans who have been infected by vampirism and go around feeding off others and infecting them so that when they finally die, they come back as zombie-like vampire monsters who attack the living. I felt like this was almost more of a zombie story than a vampire one, but I’m more of a witch fan so what do I know?

All in all I really enjoyed this book. It’s a horror show for sure but in a kind of light-hearted way with super likable characters. Just don’t get too attached to any of them. The author is not afraid to kill them off. I love it! This is the first book in a new series and feels like it. There’s a lot of backstory that’s covered and now that we’re all set up, I can’t wait for the next one!

I listened to the audiobook and Stephanie Nemeth-Parker did a great job narrating.

Thank you @NetGalley, @Macmillan.Audio, and @LindyRyanWrites for my gifted copy. I loved it!

✨ ALC REVIEW ✨
🧛🏻⚰️📖: Bless Your Heart by Lindy Ryan

Rating: 4⭐️
Audio rating: 5⭐️ The narration was very enthusiastic and the southern accent tied everything together!
Pub date: 4/9/24 (tomorrow!)
Publisher: Macmillan Audio (thank you for this advanced listener copy!!)

1 sentence review: Such a fun paranormal mystery/horror with plenty of gore and heartfelt moments!

I’ll be honest with you- I really did not want to read this because I was just not in the mood lol, BUT I’m so glad I did because it ended up being a really fun and engaging read!! I loved the family aspect of this story and I loved seeing how close the 4 Evans’ women were, even with their drama! The “vampires” were really unique, like a cross between a vampire and a zombie.

In my opinion, the gore/horror level was good for people who aren’t horror fanatics! So if you’re squeamish/scare easily, you may still want to check this one out!

This book is the first in a series (I’m assuming???) and it definitely left on somewhat of a cliffhanger, with some unanswered questions- so I’ll be picking up the next book when it’s released!!

Read This if You Like:
🧛🏻 Practical Magic
🩸 The Southern Book Club’s Guide to Slaying Vampires
⚰️ Family businesses and 4 generations of drama

Q: What’s your favorite show/movie from the 90’s??

I'm not going to rate it on social media because i didn't finish it. I pushed myself multiple times to read this and get through more than 40%, but i cant its just not for me. The cover and blurb drew me in, but sadly, the story is why i left. Maybe I'll come back to it. But the writing and character didn't do it for me. I also wanted to listen to it because i heard it's going to be a show

1999, Southeast Texas - The Evans women have run the local funeral parlor for 80 years, burying the local bodies without issue. Well, without issue in the past 15 years at least. But when the town gossip is suddenly found dead only to rise again, the Evans family knows they’ll need to keep secrets and bodies buried before the rest of the town realizes the Strigoi vampires have returned.

Bless Your Heart by Lindy Ryan, narrated by Stephanie Németh-Parker, is a comedic horror novel that brings together southern charm with mystery, paranormal, and murder.

Up front I will definitely say it was a little too gory for me, but it was definitely a fun ride. It’s similar vibes to The Southern Book Club’s Guide to Slaying Vampires, except I could actually finish and enjoy this one (once again, it’s just the gore for me and honestly it wasn’t even that bad).

I so loved the narrator as she went between characters, really adding the personality and subtle differences between everyone. Each character was really unique in their own way and I really enjoyed the small town feel where it was really like you as the reader knew everyone. That’s just so unique for a book to pull off so well.

In conclusion, if this plot calls to you then you NEED to pick this up. I hope to see more from this author and this story soon! 🖤

Thank you to Macmillan Audio and NetGalley for the audio ARC!

Four generations of women going up against and fighting the undead in the south with a mystery and dark humor?? Sign me up!!

What appealed to you the most in this story?

I figured there was no way someone could find a way to put a new spin on a story about the undead rising, but I was so very wrong. I loved how Bless Your Heart was a completely unique and fresh take on a story that involves the undead eating their way through the living (pun intended) and a family of strong women who are destined to send them back to their graves.

Read if you like:

Multigenerational Family
Multiple POV
Suspense
Mystery
The Undead
Southern Noir
Dark Humor
Quirky Characters

How was the audiobook?

I had a blast listening to this story on audio, and it made my work commutes fly by! Stephanie Nemeth-Parker made this such an entertaining and engaging listen.

How was the pace?

This was a slow burn and fun ride!

Do you recommend this book?

I’m already needing the next book in this series because I have to know where it all goes from here!

Thank you, Minotaur Books and MacMillan Audio, for this gifted copy in exchange for my honest opinions.

Thank you Netgalley, Lindy Ryan, and MacMillion Audio for the great Audiobook!! A perfect and fun audiobook narrated by Stephanie Nemeth-Parker. I absolutely loved this quirky spookyish and even funny at times story! Highly recommend.

I saw somewhere that this is the first of a series and I will definitely be reading the next one. But omg I don’t know what they’re going to do. Great family supernatural thriller.

Synopsis: In a small town in Texas in the ‘90s, the Evans women run the only funeral home in town. They bury all of the bodies, even the ones who won’t stay dead.

Thoughts: So, this is not my typical genre - but it was really fun! I would describe this as a cozy mystery with a side of campy horror. Definitely go into it knowing there is some horror and gore though! I thought it had some similarities to Grady Hendrix’s style but a lot lighter. Things I loved: the four generations of badass women fighting the undead while maintaining their Southern charm, the pacing (it really started off with a bang and just kept going), and the set up for a potential series. I would have liked to get to know the characters a bit better, and it felt like there was a lot going on and a lot of perspectives BUT that’s understandable for the first in a series. A note on the audio: loved the narrator and I think audio is definitely the way to go for this one - she brought the Southern vibes and humor.

Read this if you like:
⚰️ badass women
⚰️ family drama
⚰️ small town
⚰️ fighting the undead
⚰️ light horror
⚰️ campy vibes

I was excited to dive into Bless Your Heart. Dark humor and sarcastic southern charm? Count me in. However, it ended up a bit light on both, and in the end was just an okay read for me.

Stephanie Németh-Parker did a nice job narrating the audiobook.

Thank you Lindy Ryan, Minotaur Books, Macmillan Audio, and NetGalley for providing this ARC for review consideration. All opinions expressed are my own.

I'm not going to lie - I totally went into this book thinking it would be similar to a much-loved 90s vampire and housewives book (you know the one).

It is not that book.

Don't get me wrong, the premise of this story was intriguing all on its own - a matriarchal-led funeral home set in the 1990s dealing with the undead is SO interesting and grabbing. Unfortunately, though, the premise was just so darn promising that the rest of the book couldn't really keep up. I found myself wondering and waiting for action/any sort of plot twists. But it never came. Instead, the plot was predicatable and fairly straightforward.

The characters seemed like they would be fascinating and play off of each other well, but there were just so many of them that I never felt like I was getting to know any of them on a deeper level. It seemed like a real missed opportunity to explore these different characters' perspectives. Maybe if we only had 3 or so, there would be more evidence in character growth and/or development. Rather than 8 or so surface level viewpoint chapters.

The story was entertaining, and I did enjoy the narration. Obviously, I rated it 3 stars, so I didn't hate it! However, I did feel the story was lacking real depth and some unfulfilled potential. As this is a debut novel, I imagine the author's next works will be better and better moving forward.

Shoutout to Netgalley, Lindy Ryan, and Macmillan Audio for an early digital copy in exchange for my honest review.

Great grandma, grandma, mom and daughter who own the funeral parlour. People die and they bury them in the most precise way. Not deviating. Because if they don’t, the dead might come back to life.

When Mina Jean Murphy comes back to life. The Evan woman are ready fight the strigoi and to protect their town.

While listening to this book I could see it playing out like a tv show or if I was reading a script. There was a lot of characters and different povs which I wasn’t thrilled by but definitely gave you a bigger picture and made it seem like a tv show.

My big issue with this book was the vomiting on the body or almost puking. I get that some people can’t handle pain or gross displays but it’s your job. You need to have a handle on your bodily functions. Like some of these characters might need a new job.

Also Luna is not at infant! She’s 15 years old! That threw me off some much I had to read the description of the book a few times.

I am curious how the next story is going to play out with the characters and how it’s all going to play out in the future

A book about vampires, sort of, Count me in! I was drawn into the storyline very early on. I will say that I felt like part of it was dragged too long, and the ending was rushed, and I wanted more from the ending but overall, I really enjoyed this book and the narrator did an amazing job telling the story. She changed voices which kept me engaged the whole time, and it was easy to know which character was who.

I really enjoyed this book, it was a pinch of cozy mystery and a big scoop of horror. The audiobook narrator really brought this book to life and I would recommend the audio version. I liked Lindy Ryan’s writing, it reminded me of Grady Hendrix. There was good Southern charm in this book with 90’s nostalgia. The four generations of Evan’s women added some humor to the story, especially Ducey. The women own the only funeral parlor in town where the dead die and then sometimes come back to life, that’s when the Evan’s women really get to work.

There are creatures waking up in town called Strigoi who are a zombie/vampire mix and really seem terrifying. The scenes with the strigoi were super gory, but I loved that! The author's descriptions of some of those scenes were spot on and you could really envision them. I’m a character driven reader and I liked all the characters in this book. I will definitely read another book by Lindy Ryan and books narrated by Stephanie Németh-Parker.

I would recommend this if you are a fan of Grady Hendrix or you like a good southern horror novel.

Thank you Macmillan Audio for an advanced copy of this audiobook in exchange for an honest review.

The Evans are a family of women who puts the dead to rest. They own a funeral home in Texas in 1999 when the dead start to rise out of nowhere. In this story the dead are called Strigoi a bland of vampires and zombies. They need to determine what is making the dead rise and how to put a stop to it.

I found this book nice, but too hard to follow in terms of who is whose daughter. For the longest time, I thought Lenore and Grade were sisters and not mother and daughter. The story has four generations of Evans women: Ducey --> Lenore --> Grace --> Luna.

Thank you to Macmillan Audio and NetGalley who provided me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All the thoughts and opinions are my own.