Thank you Netgalley, Spiegel & Grau, and Lola Milholland for this ARC in exchange for my review!

I couldn’t have concocted a more perfectly suited pick to be my first NetGalley ARC.
Memoir (check), food & recipes (check), culture & family (check).

Before getting into the book: The author and I are the same age, love food & cooking, and both currently live in the Pacific Northwest. We’re both multicultural/biracial yet white passing, growing up feeling like a “muddle” and figuring out our identities without fully fitting into either culture. Too white for our non-white half, yet also definitely feeling like we could not identify as “just white”. I’m interested in different ways that families and homes work, how we structure them, how this decision creates a miniaturized culture of our own. A synchronization occurs whether we live with a chosen family, nuclear, extended, in communities, or as solo organisms. I was still a little hesitant going into this book because there have been many times that a book flops even if it hits all the right genres and topics, but this was a great read!

Group Living is a book that is something tender yet bold. Moments of thoughtful insights, when I would pause and absorb and bookmark to reread later. Even if sometimes I didn’t necessarily agree with what was being said, it was still something unique and human and real that I could respect and nod along with nonetheless. Like having a conversation with a friend who has different opinions than you, but you’re still kindred spirits. Other moments were an unabashed letting loose. Wild laughter, big parties with strange costumes, parents who were polyamorous and smoked week with their (adult) children. My family and childhood were very different. Sensibly traditional, modest, quiet. But it was also similar. We were our own people, our own team. We often didn’t quite fit anywhere but together, my family was my place.

The author explores group living in various homes - from her own memories, her uncle’s stories, her parents’ - as well as the meaning of a Nuclear Family. And I loved reading about her parents - their openness and near brazenness would probably intimidate me a little in real life, as an introvert with a twang of TCK awkwardness, but they seem awesome. Her dad: “His easy laugh comes out like a shout: “HA!” When he dances, he strides in place, occasionally kicking out a leg and punching the air to the beat: “HA! HA! HA!”

Dipping into this book was enjoyable, listening to stories about things so foreign but also somehow familiar. I wanted to learn more about certain topics afterwards - always a good sign when you’re Googling while reading, in my opinion (if it’s out of curiosity, not lack of understanding/clarity). I wanted to know more about the characters, whether they were fellow humans or the seemingly-living Holman House. I liked those people, even the ones that would overwhelm me to be in their presence in real life, or who slightly grated my nerves, or who were a bit chaotic. I liked them all anyway in the same way you like your odd relative, or a very-different sibling, or that friend who annoys the hell out of you sometimes but they’re like family and you love them oh-so-much.

Lola Milholland tells her stories from childhood to the present day, with a little wink, a nod at knowing that she can laugh a little at “hippie” lifestyles. There are stories from her time growing up in the Holman House, with various people staying with them at random, sometimes for short stints and other times for weeks. There are stories from her time in Japan as a young adult. There are also stories from those lonely, intense, bizarre first days of Covid, which bled into weeks, months, and (what would have been incomprehensible if we’d known from the beginning) years. Balancing her witty, or sometimes outright funny stories, there were heartbreaking and enraging topics as well. George Floyd’s murder, and the collective grief and rage that ensued. Her uncle’s annual Father’s Day event, where he organizes a peaceful protest - complete with quirky, heartfelt art to illustrate his points - against the weapons manufacturing and transfer at the NavMag Indian Island near Port Townsend. Naval Magazine Indian Island, the only deep-water storage facility and way station for military weapons of its kind on the West Coast. I didn’t know it was such a huge manufacturer and base for transporting weapons. This whole section was so relevant with the present-day genocide in Gaza, and how we have been supplying the weapons for nearly a year now.

And there is, of course, so much writing on food, and the delicious recipes at the end of each chapter. As someone who loves food - eating it, cooking it, being in restaurants and kitchens and exploring ways that food connects people - I loved Lola’s enthusiasm for it.

“Sharing food has always been at the center of my life, a way of communicating beyond language: What do we carry with us from previous relationships to people and places? What tastes good to us? What makes us feel good? These recipes were given to me, and now I offer them to you. Please make them and share them. Bring my home into yours!”

I also hold onto recipes from my childhood, from meals at my Egyptian grandmother’s home, from dinners at my German grandmother’s home. Lola says of her mother, “Food remains a tether to her identity and her past,” and this resonates with me. The author is definitely much more knowledgeable than me on topics of cooking, growing food, sustainability, and food politics, which inspires me to step up my learning. Lola worked at a nonprofit, focusing on the economics of local farming. She also spent time trying to get more local food into school-lunch programs, and wrote for a food magazine.

There’s a wide range of offered recipes: Thai food, salads, cantaloupe seed horchata. Recipes that she’s created, as well as recipes shared by her family, friends, and housemates. The three recipes I’d like to try first are Chris’s Khao Tod (Crispy Broken-Rice Salad), Sakiko’s Hiyashi Chuka (Cold Sesame Noodles) with Jammy Eggs, Peas, and Pickled Radish, and David’s Seedy Granola (includes a little fruit jam!).

This was such a warm and welcoming read. Milholland reflects in various chapters about her time living in community from her childhood and her parents revolving door of house guests through her adult hood living communally in the same house with her brother and roommates. I loved the recipes at the end of each chapter that serve as touchstones for the topics discussed. I rated this 4 stars only because the later chapters feel disconnected thematically in a way from the rest of the book but i really enjoyed the overall experience of reading the book and the reminders of what is possible when we live in a way that encourages community

I read this book on a very long plane ride, and it helped make the time go by so fast! I loved how each story/essay was presented and meeting all of the residents along the way. I adore books that explore life through everyday moments. Doing so, especially in a memoir, makes you feel close to the author and the people she talks about. I would highly recommend Group Living and Other Recipes if you are looking for a quick read that is both quiet and profound and, ultimately, very cozy.

Since I do enjoy reading memoirs about other peoples's lives, I thought I'd like this book about what I would have considered a sixties-ish experience in more recent times. I read about a third of the book, and honestly didn't care for it. The author barely touched on the most interesting characters she lived with while going into more detail about the most mundane, even more standoffish ones. It was also difficult to get a feel for the author and I felt no connection to her because of that. Due to those reasons, the book dragged for me and I didn't want to finish it.

Lola Milholland grew up in a family that seemed unconventional to those on the outside, but was just normal for her. Her mother bought a big house in Portland, Oregon and the author lived there with her parents and her significantly older brother, Zak. Others came and went, staying for days, weeks, months, or just for dinner. Her parents' motto was 'We only deserve it if we share it.' So they did. As a result, the author experienced group living from a very early age. In addition to her immediate family, her aunt and uncle lived in a different kind of communal situation on Washington state, so she was exposed to different forms of 'group living'. Eventually, Lola's parents went their own ways, but the house--Holman House, which is almost a character itself--was still owned by Lola's mother. When Lola was in college, Zak and some friends moved back in and when she finished college, Lola did, too.

This delightful and thought provoking book is part memoir, part exploration of the meaning of 'home' and 'family,' part cultural critique, part love letter to the power of real food lovingly prepared and shared, and part search for personal meaning all knitted together into a beautiful narrative. I found the book to be an excellent read and I was fascinated by the different communal living structures the author described--the joys and the tears, the easy parts and the difficult situations. As an anthropologist who did research in grad school on motherhood and family relationships, I am always interested in people who choose to live outside the cultural norm. As Milholland points out, far too many people just live (or try to live) 'conventional' lives simply because they're expected to, whether or not this suits them. And there are many problems with the idea of the nuclear family living isolated lives in single family homes. Coming at family life from a different perspective, especially as housing becomes more and more expensive, can provide a sense of possibility. This book is a valuable contribution for those who want to think outside the box and consider alternatives to the same old tired cultural narratives. I also used to live in Portland--right down the street from one of the people in the book, in fact, so the place was fun to read about, too. Highly recommend.

I was expecting a different depiction of group living and wasn't too satisfied with this take. I tried to take my time and re-read it but feel I may have missed the point. I think that folks who appreciate cooking and recipes will enjoy this book more than I did. I feel bad as this was a memoir and not a fictional work.

Group Living and Other Recipes was a real treat. Milholland brings Holman House to life, giving a brand new meaning to living in community.

Thank you to the publisher and to NetGalley for the ARC!

I've started this read twice now, but didn't manage to get past the 10% mark. I don't know if it's the author's writing style, or if this book is directed to a different audience, but I just didn't care to continue reading it.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC for an honest review.

3.5 stars. I like books that have a personal, communal and foodie touch, and that have stories involving sustainability practices, and seamlessly incorporate recipes. Also, those about different, less common cohabitation styles, and present the richness of differences of cultures and people. This book is unique.

The style is a good fit. I could have preferred a shorter and more thematic book, some of the rest of the book being part of a series, but the description of the book is very accurate and many readers will enjoy this book as much as I did.

This was not my book, the writers style was quirky and off the cuff, occasionally her opinions were snarky . I think I was expecting a warmer, more inclusive perspective on group living. I put the book down a few times, but for the right reader this is an interesting read.

“Life surrounded by characters, even painful, heartbreaking ones, is preferable to isolation”

I received this ARC from NetGalley. At first, I didn’t know what to expect from this memoir. I haven’t heard of the author before and I’m not a chef, but the premise sounded interesting.

The book became something unexpected- a collection of essays that showcase the connections made through group living, and the social issues that have shaped the author’s life and her family’s. It brings together social issues like the housing crisis, how communal living was impacted by Covid, and other social-economic issues. At the end of each essay was a recipe, pulling together how food and family can become one in communal living.

This is a book about living in communal settings, the food that accompanies this environment, and growing up in the Pacific Northwest . She grew up in an unconventional family and opted for group living as an adult. Many times she questions whether she should be like everyone else and get married/have kids, but as we see in the book (and in our own lives, let’s be honest), she makes a compelling case for group living. This book shows how far we have strayed from community as a society, and I wonder if we might all be happier if we didn’t try to fit the patriarchal mold of marriage, kids, and a house. She doesn't have a romanticized picture of community living. She describes the difficulties of handling a wide range of personalities and disputes. Living with a spouse, however, may often be isolating. Even though I really prefer alone time and am not sure I could live in a group environment, this narrative really piqued my interest.

These pages include a great deal of humor. There are also recipes, styled with the same flair as the cookbooks of the late Anthony Bourdain (who is addressed in a scary section in this book). The idea is that food ought to be prepared with love and attention at all times.

This book is all that I adore. There is nothing like this in the memoir market, so I sincerely hope it takes off.

I first want to take a moment to think NetGalley as well as the publishing company for sending me this book in exchange for an honest review.

This was a very sweet book that really made you family and relationships. I would definitely go into this book without knowing too much so you can have the full effect of this book.

I admit it took me a bit to get into this book. But once I did, it's a great read about a living style that I have never personally had outside of a dormitory in college. I truly respect the author for cohabitating with several other people and the group dynamic it fostered. I also love the way each chapter ends with a recipe that goes along with the information. I can't wait to try some of them! Probably the most interesting thing for me was learning about the nuclear testing and weapons storage in the Pacific Northwest, and everything that the author discussed that went with it. All in all, I enjoyed this book.

I read very few memoirs, but I have a soft spot for food writers, so I'll always pick up those books.

'Group Living' is incredibly intriguing, as the titular style of living is something I've only ever heard about, never experienced myself. However, Milholland adeptly explores her position within these communities and discusses how other friends and families live their lives. These forays are cushioned neatly between touching sentiments about the people she's surrounded by and the food that represents important moments and aspects.

What I'm most impressed by is how familiar and warm Milholland is in her writing, even as she describes moments that are completely unfamiliar to me. The recipes she's included are also fun to browse and seem quite accessible, as they allow for a good deal of flexibility with the ingredients.

I wish I had more to say! I really enjoyed reading this and I'll likely pick up a copy for myself later to add to my food writing collection. I'd definitely recommend it to anyone looking for something cozy to get it into while also being (potentially) a radical introduction to a different way of living.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Spiegel & Grau for the advanced copy to review.

Milholland grew up in a home with playful, carefree parents who were always inviting others in. Never mind why they were there, where they came from, or how long they needed to stay; all were welcome. Home was a place of acceptance and community.

“My parents had an unspoken philosophy about the house: We only deserve it if we share it.”

Milholland continued this trend of communal living for herself as she moved through her twenties and in to her thirties. In the many homes that she shared, food acted as an offering of love; her and her housemates cooking up delectable meals for one another.

“By cooking for and eating food made by other people, I give and receive each day, which feels as central to my life as inhaling and exhaling.”

<i>Group Living and Other Recipes</I> tells the tale of unforgettable meals, lively gatherings, and the complexities of communal living. The stories are as warm and inviting as the recipes listed inside.

This book is so warm and lovely, it's the kind of book you keep in your living space and you pick up whenever you want to feel happy and be reminded that the world is a beautiful place full of people and opportunities for joy.

Thank you NetGalley and Spiegel & Grau for the opportunity to read this ARC.

This book is as carefully crafted and thought out as the recipes found at the end of each chapter. The child of two hippies, Lola Milholland shares memories of growing up in the Holman House, her parents’ home in Portland, Oregon whose doors were open to a rotating cast of quirky characters. From political protests, to mushroom hunting, to insane Halloween parties, to grappling with Filipino-American heritage, Milholland manages to write with raw honesty and emotion as well as dry humor. This book is perfect for any cook who loves a good story!

I really enjoyed about 3/4 of the book when she was talking about herself and her own family but it lost me a bit when she started talking about other people she knew. That was very rambling and full of philosophy I didn’t think she explained very well.

I did like the asides of how successful and at times famous many of the people who drifted in and out of her family’s life were. I think it’s easy to dismiss communal living as really fringe but her mother and some others were very successful professional and in straight society.

I think this is going to be my number one book of 2024.

I’m partial to memoirs, so the genre is automatically my favorite, but not all memoirs live up to this one. It’s so descriptive, hilariously told, and honest. The author is a master of show, don’t tell, and there’s so much brightness in her tone that you can’t help wondering if she’s really on to something about communal living.

This is a book about living in communal settings, the food that accompanies this environment, and growing up in the Pacific Northwest. My husband grew up in Portland at the same time as this author (it was actually weird back then), so her stories about the city were familiar to me. She grew up in an unconventional family and opted for group living as an adult. Many times she questions whether she should be like everyone else and get married/have kids, but as we see in the book (and in our own lives, let’s be honest), she makes a compelling case for group living. This book shows how far we have strayed from community as a society, and I wonder if we might all be happier if we didn’t try to fit the patriarchal mold of marriage, kids, and a house.

She doesn’t view group living through rose-colored lenses. She details the challenges of navigating many different personalities and conflicts. But living with a partner can be isolating too. I am not sure I could live in a group setting - I very much need alone time - still, I was so intrigued by this story.

There’s a lot of comedy in these pages. There are recipes too, written with flair the way the late Anthony Bourdain (who is mentioned in a chilling passage in this book) did in his own cookbooks. The point is that meals should always be made with love and care.

I love so much about this book. I really hope it takes the memoir market by storm because there’s nothing like this in the literary world.