3.5 star rounded up

Thank you to the publisher and author for the gifted copy of this book.

This book paints a clear picture of the struggles we face in raising boys in today’s society. I was hoping for a little more balance between talking about the difficulties and then discussion how to tackle them. This book really is 90% talking about what it’s like raising boys, what the challenges are, and statistics. And then 10% what we can do to be the best boy moms possible. I felt validated in some of my personal concerns but then left feeling left hanging on what to do about any of it. That being said it did feel well written and well researched and it did keep my attention throughout.

As a parent of two sons, *Boy Mom* by Ruth Whippman hits home in the best way. Whippman’s witty take on raising boys is both relatable and refreshing, making you laugh while nodding along in understanding. She tackles the chaos of boyhood with sharp humor, touching on the unpredictability of parenting and the unique challenges of navigating gender expectations in today’s world. Her anecdotes about the day-to-day ups and downs feel so familiar, offering a comforting reminder that you're not alone in this whirlwind.

What really resonated with me is how Whippman manages to strike the perfect balance between lighthearted moments and deeper reflections on raising boys in a society that’s constantly evolving. She explores the pressure to guide them through issues of masculinity, emotions, and independence with a relatable honesty. *Boy Mom* is an engaging, insightful read for anyone raising boys, full of heart and humor, making it feel like you're getting advice from a friend who truly understands.

This book is a must-read for any feminist. Intersectionality means men too, and this book covers their experiences with a care and critique few have been honest or brave enough to toggle. I appreciate Whippman's insertion of her own lived experience as a mother of boys, and her transparency of her objectivity.

I thoroughly enjoyed this look at the world this generation's boys will grow up in. I thought the author explored some delicate topics with tact & made me think about uncomfortable topics I would otherwise avoid.

After reading Sonora Jha’s memoir How to Raise a Feminist Son, I’ve been looking for similar parenting books by feminists and specifically about raising boys, so I was very excited to read Boymom. I ofcourse waited until I could get my hands on the audiobook and it turned out to be a very eye opening experience.

The author covers a broad range of topics about raising boys from birth to about college age, talking about - nature vs nurturethe aggressive play and roughhousing among young boys in contrast to more seemingly disciplined girls, the desire of boys to become strong and masculine men leading to less emotional intelligence and vulnerability, how that affects interpersonal relationships in the long term, how screentime and exposure of what’s online leads to both positive and negative outcomes, and the corresponding effects on sexuality, understanding consent, and the rising incel movement. The author mingles her research with the narrative of her own life with her 3 boys of various ages, and how she feels about raising them as a feminist in this world which focuses on such narrowing definitions of what it means to be masculine. I liked how the author is open about her own biases and how it affects her worldview, and how thinking of issues from her son’s POV has her questioning some of her own strongly held beliefs.

While the book is very well researched and has lots of information and thought provoking content that I will need to go back to again and again, it also made me feel scared as a very new boy mom and the thought of raising a strong but sensitive and empathetic boy in this world which seems to be turning more and more divisive everyday has me anxious. Nonetheless, this is an important book that covers the various fraught issues with delicate nuance, that is strongly necessary in our current times when everyone is ready to condemn stuff with a very black and white lens of viewing the world.

This was suggested to me in a promotional email, and I quickly logged in so I could read the e-arc. I have two young sons, and I worry constantly about how to raise them into good citizens and responsible humans. There were swaths of this book that I could have written myself, about the aggression between the two boys, and the deep concerns over male behavior in society. I sent my husband quotes from the book saying, "see, it's not just us!" I've never felt so seen in a non-fiction memoir.

I felt this book was well-researched and very intriguing in the study of incels, violence, and male chauvinism. As I think about the way I sometimes assume my eldest can do more than his younger brother, I remember the author's data that boys require as much if not more nurturing than girls. I came away from this book with more confidence in my parenting instincts and hopeful for the future of boys.

BoyMom is a frank and engaging look at raising kids (especially boys) in an age of impossible, quite often toxic, polarized masculinity written by Ruth Whippman. Released 4th June 2024 by Penguin Random House on their Rodale Harmony imprint, it's 320 pages and is available in hardcover, audio, and ebook formats. It's worth noting that the ebook format has a handy interactive table of contents as well as interactive links.

The author writes well and accessibly about gender politics, masculinity (what it -is-, what it -means-, what the systems are which hold it in place, and what (if anything) we should -do- about it), raising boys, and she actually gives reasoned and practical planning and coping techniques for raising responsible humans for the next generations of humanity.

One thing is unquestionably certain, it's not easy to live in a society which is seismically split along gender lines with utterly toxic damaging behavior all around. She writes through the lens of her own experiences, raising three sons in Republican era USA, post-Weinstein, #metoo, and a p*ssy grabbing president. It's easy to get bogged down, indeed nearly impossible not to get bogged down and overwhelmed.

She is very good at splitting the issues into understandable chunks: fundamental gender inequality, education, sexual assault, toxic masculinity/influencers, INCELs, structural legal responsibility and fairness (at educational/work institutions, especially where there's alcohol or unclear consent).

The author manages to be sympathetic and very upfront about her own biases, and tries (and mostly succeeds) in being fair and balanced.

It's a thorny problem, and one that doesn't have a "magic wand" solution. Despite the title, this is an important book for everyone.

Five stars. Thought provoking and sobering.

Disclosure: I received an ARC at no cost from the author/publisher for review purposes.

Whippman has done a fantastic job of exploring topics that are very pertinent for mothers (really any parent) trying to raise their boys.

From infancy to young adulthood she addresses a wide scope of issues; screentime, incels, sexuality and consent, interpersonal relationships. She does this in a thoughtful and nuanced way while also acknowledging her own thoughts and biases.

Her personal accounts weaved throughout are very vulnerable and insanely relatable.

As a feminist and a mother of 2 young boys myself I would say I'm the exact target demographic and Whippman delivered an excellent novel.

I have 3 boys so was intrigued by the description of this book. After finishing it I think every boy on should read it! She details the pressures and expectations society puts on boys and men and how it basically traps them in loneliness. I was also surprised and convicted by the chapter about “me too” and sexism. Like her I expected to disagree but found myself noticing reverse sexism and how damaging it is to young boys as they are developing. Highly recommend. It reinforces my plan to raise my boys to be social and interact often IRL.

I requested this as soon as I read that the author, Ruth Whippman, also has three boys. In the first chapter she shares the reactions received from others- well-intended yet rude suggestions to wear them out at a playground or that they will eat you out of house and home.

Whippman pushes back against stereotypes and gives so much insight on raising boys with a feminist view. Gender stereotypes are harmful to everyone. There are a lot of good points, backed by studies and expert opinions. It is a must-read for all boy moms.

With a lovely blend of anecdote and data, Whippman has done a fabulous job highlighting the challenges in raising "good" boys in this era of heightened scrutiny of masculinity at every stage of development... She tackles head-on the issues of toxic masculinity, gender fluidity, and parental guilt, as well as the politicization of manhood by both sides of the aisle - and she does it with candor and curiosity, in a way that was engaging as well as informative (I was particularly fascinated by her trip into incel land). This was a very intriguing read, and offers a thoughtful look behind the scenes that I found fascinating, timely, and valuable.