Member Reviews
The book wasn't light enough to be funny but also didn't go deep enough to be satisfying, just coasted in the middle which I found unsatisfying.
I previously enjoyed The Nanny Diaries when the book and then the movie, came out, so I was looking forward to reading this book, as it had a similar theme of glimpses behind the ultra wealthy's private lives. The author describes her experiences after college as a nanny for the highest upper class in NYC and contrasts it with her childhood experiences growing up poor with an unreliable family, Are we all products of our upbringing and can we escape that to become who we think we are meant to be or to better our circumstances? It is funny, fascinating and at times, heart breaking as she grows to love these children who are not her own but yet she is a large part of their childhood. It delves deeper into timely cultural topics of the pandemic, misogyny, class, and immigrants/race. I greatly enjoyed reading her perspectives and as a stay-at-home mom, I related to the importance, workload and stress/boredom/monotony of caring for young children all day/night while also seeing that society often looks down on those who chose to do that important work, whether as a career or as a family choice.
Really enjoyed this! I always like to hear about how the other half lives and the crazy tendencies of the rich. I would def recommend. And easy read that kept me tiring the pages.
No matter your level of privilege and wealth, childcare is hard. But some extra money to pay for childcare certainly helps. In this part-memoir, part-cultural observation, Stephanie Kiser provides a look into “how the other half lives” when it comes to society’s most important and most demanding job - raising kids.
3.5! I enjoyed the juxtaposition of the author’s upbringing to her life caring for the ultra wealthy all while feeling unfulfilled in her career. Super relatable and interesting. Plus I love a window into really rich people living in NYC.
Part memoir, part sociology book, this is both the tale of the wealthy in New York City and the generational struggle to find meaning, belonging, and identity for post-collegiate millennials and Gen Zers. In her debut, Stephanie Kiser offers a fascinating glimpse into the rarefied world of elite Manhattan childcare, while deftly weaving in a broader commentary on class, privilege, and the increasingly elusive American Dream. As a former nanny for New York City's wealthiest families, Kiser provides both an insider's view of life among the 1% and a thoughtful examination of her own complex relationship with class mobility.
Fresh out of college and struggling with student loan debt, Kiser stumbles into high-end nannying as a temporary solution to stay afloat in expensive New York City. What begins as a stopgap measure evolves into a seven-year journey that forces her to confront uncomfortable truths about wealth, privilege, and the true cost of upward mobility in America.
The strength of Kiser's memoir lies in her ability to navigate multiple perspectives with nuance and empathy. She acknowledges both the genuine love wealthy parents have for their children and the sometimes "bonkers reality" of their privileged world. Her descriptions of $300 baby onesies and preschools that cost more than college tuition are delivered with wry humor rather than judgment. Particularly compelling is her examination of her own position within the domestic labor hierarchy - her status as a white, college-educated nanny grants her privileges denied to other caregivers, a dynamic she thoughtfully explores.
The narrative alternates between Kiser's experiences as a nanny and flashbacks to her own impoverished childhood. These juxtapositions effectively highlight the stark contrasts between her early life and the world she now inhabits, though at times the transitions between timelines can feel abrupt and disorienting.
Where the memoir truly shines is in its examination of the emotional complexity of professional caregiving. Kiser captures the unique paradox of becoming deeply attached to children while remaining perpetually aware of your status as a paid employee. Her account of eventually leaving her charges is particularly poignant, highlighting the personal cost of treating childcare as just another market transaction.
The book occasionally suffers from uneven pacing, and some readers might wish for more detailed exploration of certain themes - particularly the impact of COVID-19 on domestic workers, which feels somewhat rushed. Additionally, Kiser's occasional self-deprecating remarks about nannying being a "nothing job" may strike some readers as reinforcing the very prejudices about domestic work that she otherwise critiques.
Nevertheless, "Wanted: Toddler's Personal Assistant" offers valuable insight into elite childcare and the broader challenges facing young Americans trying to establish themselves in an increasingly unequal economy. It's a timely contribution to ongoing discussions about class, care work, and the true meaning of success in contemporary America.
The memoir will likely resonate with anyone who has ever felt caught between social worlds or struggled to reconcile their professional aspirations with economic realities. It's also a title to borrow for anyone interested in understanding the complex dynamics of domestic labor in America's wealthiest households.
Wanted was an excellent read! I appreciated the author's wild stories of caring for the children of the 1%. A great class critique.
I was expecting this to be kinda a tell-all about un-name-dropped upper east side parents and how nuts they are. It truly, really wasn't. Stephanie Kiser explores both her own impoverished childhood (and complicated family) as she nannies for the 1%. It is hard for her not to make connections between her own experiences while watching families with wildly different access. She also sees her own privilege within the nanny community of New York, as a white, young, college educated women in a line of work that often employees immigrants. It was a really interesting read.
This one gave me fun flashbacks to the Nanny Diaries, and my own years as a nanny (albeit in much more midwestern, less bougie homes). Escapist and well-written!
There is so much I relate to in this book! Mom guilt seen in the author’s nannying experience. The author’s own fears about not measuring up to the goals that others and culture have for her.
It was really enjoyable to follow the author’s story from high school to college to nannying to writing.
This review is missing one star only because some of the chapters jumped between topics in a way that I found confusing.
Thank you to Sourcebooks and NetGalley for an ARC of this book! This is my honest review.
This book really took a while to get interesting. It seemed like an unnecessary nonfiction version of The Nanny Diaries.
It got more enjoyable as it went along, with the author sharing more about her upbringing and her outrageously dysfunctional family. She ought to think about writing a memoir specifically about them.
Thanks to #netgalley and #sourcebooks for this #arc of #wantedtoddlerspersonalassistant in exchange for an honest review.
Stephanie Kiser’s memoir is a fascinating look at nannying for the the 1% in New York City and so much more. She shares how she got into nannying, why she stayed as long as she did and how her qualifications as a college educated nanny from the U.S. made her so desirable to so many of these families. It’s an enlightening look at how some of these ultra rich families treat their kids and their help.
It was a little tough for me to read some of the parts she shared about growing up barely making ends meet with her family in Rhode Island. Her vulnerability really showed what it’s like to try to get by when you don’t have a safety net or education on your side.
It was also interesting to learn about her experience during the pandemic and following one of her families to the Hamptons to escape the city when everyone went into lockdown in 2020.
Thanks to NetGalley for a free copy in exchange for an honest review.
I have never nannied for the 1% but I did spend one summer as a nanny and it was a ride. I really enjoyed this book. As someone who also grew up in a super conservative, LOUD household and who discovered very seemingly obvious disconnects that exist in our society way too late in life (I also had a poignant “I don’t think I’m a Republican” epiphany) I related quite a bit with the author as she told her story. Telling her coming of age story in conjunction with her helping to raise other people’s children allowed Stephanie Kiser to draw so many parallels to how we never actually stop growing up.
As someone who once worked as a full-time nanny for six years, this was an interesting read for me. While the two families I worked for in Wellesley, Massachusetts were wealthy by my standards, they did not come close to the level of wealth experienced by the author. Kiser worked for couples who lived in New York City and vacationed at their summer homes in the Hamptons. Our stories were similar in that we both wound up nannying when our life plans didn't work out after college. Caring for others children can be lucrative when compared with available entry-level jobs.
While relaying the day-to-day details of a nanny's life, Kaiser also shares some personal struggles she experienced during those years; an abortion that she went through relatively alone and choosing to no longer share an apartment with her best friend from college. An interesting thread that runs throughout the book is her realization that as a white nanny she was treated differently than others. Mothers tended to be more friendly and share their personal struggles, as if Kaiser was more able to relate due to her whiteness. While I did not see any overt racism while nannying, I did observe some entitled behavior that would gag a maggot such as women who loudly declared that their "push gift" better be a diamond ring worth a karat for every pound the baby weighs.
Overall, a good read and very inciteful if you're ever wondering how the other half lives.
Wanted: Toddler’s Personal Assistant by Stephanie Kiser provides a humorous dive into the everyday chaos of parenting a toddler, filled with witty moments and relatable situations for parents. The struggles of balancing career, family, and personal identity are well captured in Kate’s story, making it easy to sympathize with her. The comedic reflections on negotiating with a toddler and the never-ending demands of motherhood definitely brought a smile.
However, I found the book to be somewhat predictable and rushed, especially toward the end. While Kiser did a great job portraying the hectic rhythm of parenting, some of the deeper themes—like the strain on Kate’s marriage and her personal growth—felt underdeveloped. I would have appreciated more depth in exploring those dynamics rather than just skimming the surface of family issues.
Overall, Wanted: Toddler’s Personal Assistant is an enjoyable, light read that will resonate with parents, but it left me wanting more in terms of character and relationship development. A solid 3-star read for its humor and relatability, but I found myself wishing for more complexity in the storyline.
Wanted: Toddler’s Personal Assistant by Stephanie Kiser is a hilarious and poignant exploration of the chaos and charm of parenting a toddler. Kiser’s debut novel offers an authentic and relatable portrayal of the challenges and triumphs of modern motherhood through the eyes of Kate, a busy mom juggling a demanding job, a struggling marriage, and the high-energy demands of her toddler, Noah.
The novel’s humor shines through in Kate’s witty reflections and the absurdity of her daily life, from negotiating with a pint-sized negotiator to managing a never-ending pile of laundry. Kiser’s sharp writing captures the essence of parenthood with a blend of honesty and humor, making it easy for any parent to see themselves in Kate’s struggles and victories.
The brisk pacing of the novel mirrors the hectic rhythm of parenting, with one chaotic event seamlessly flowing into the next. Kiser strikes a balance between comedic moments and tender reflections, particularly in Kate’s interactions with Noah. This portrayal emphasizes the deep bond between mother and child, even amidst the exhaustion and frustration that can accompany parenting.
One of the book’s standout features is its relatability. Kiser doesn’t shy away from the messiness of parenthood—the guilt, the frustration, and the constant feeling of being stretched too thin. However, she also celebrates the small victories and moments of pure joy that make the challenges worthwhile. This balance makes the book not just a source of laughs, but also a comforting reminder that the struggles of parenting are shared by many.
The supporting characters, including Kate’s husband and her group of mom friends, add depth and variety to the story. Each character brings a unique perspective on parenting, enriching the narrative and offering different facets of the parenting experience.
While primarily a comedy, the novel also touches on the real struggles of balancing work and family life, and the challenges of maintaining one’s identity outside of motherhood. Kate’s journey towards finding balance and accepting that it’s okay not to have everything under control is portrayed with warmth and sincerity.
Wanted: Toddler’s Personal Assistant is a delightful read for anyone who has navigated the rollercoaster of parenting a toddler. Stephanie Kiser has crafted a story that is both laugh-out-loud funny and deeply touching, capturing the highs and lows of parenthood with authenticity and heart. It’s a reminder that even on the toughest days, there is joy to be found in the chaos—and sometimes, all you can do is laugh.
This book went a lot deeper than I expected and I liked a lot of her reflections on her own life. I did feel that her writing was more compelling when writing about the children in her life vs family.
Thank you, @sourcebooks and @netgalley for the ARC of Wanted: Toddler's Personal Assistant by Stephanie Kiser.
I was ecstatic when I got approved for this one, seeing as I worked first as an Au Pair for two years than as a nanny for a decade after that, I'm always curious about other people's experiences working in childcare.
Stephanie Kiser is an American author who, for seven years after graduating college, worked as a nanny for high profile families in New York City. Pursuing a career in writing in such an expensive city, Stephanie soon found herself struggling to find a job that made ends meet and pay for her crippling student loans on top of that. Stephanie viewed the nanny gig as a temporary solution for her dire situation.
I found this book fascinating! Not only because it's a different perspective from someone who's American and caucasian working in a position that predominantly employs immigrants and/or people of color, but also because her clientele was just as distant from my reality. At the same time, there was a lot of her experience that's so intrinsic to being a caregiver that, apart from the privilege and eccentricities of the 1%, made her accounts so familiar to my own.
I have to confess that at first I was put off by her disdain to being a nanny. It was so foreign to me because I absolutely love kids and prefer being surrounded by little ones than dealing with adults, and it triggered this defensiveness in me that gets annoyed when people view it as a less-than occupation. Unfortunately, it isn't valued as it should. There's this elitist view that office jobs are superior and a lot of prejudice surrounding domestic work. But then I remembered that this feeling of inferiority bred even among my own friends who were nannies themselves and also immigrants. Some of them were indignant that I was still working as a nanny even thought I had "documents" and could be working on something more 'dignified'. Then it made me consider Stephanie's point of view—an American-born, white, college educated young woman—and I started giving her more grace.
I loved the insight into her difficult childhood to understand her biases. It helped also to give more context into who she was and why sometimes she resented some of the wealthy people surrounding her. It's also thought-provoking and shines a spotlight on how privilege really traces one's path to success and upward mobility is nearly impossible when you start with so much disadvantage. I enjoyed this book, her writing style and I adored all the stories of her time with the kids and how she inevitably grew to love the little ones she took care. It's the most rewarding thing to gain the love and trust of a child, and it's also very hard to say goodbye to children you love as your own. I'm very happy I got to read it. I recommend it not only for people who are or were caregivers, but also parents who employ nannies. It's a wonderful read.
This was a well-written, insightful read that went far beyond what I expected. While I expected (and got!) many stories about nannying for NYC elites, it's Stephanie Kiser's ability to dig deep into her own childhood memories —comparing her rough childhood to the cushy lives of the children she cares for.— that made this book shine. Her ability to discuss privilege, class, and racial dynamics is masterful. At times, I was thrown off by the timeline switching, but overall, this is a really interesting and insightful take on caregiving for the 1%.
This book didn't really click for me until I got closer to the end. I was tempted to give up a few times in the first half - the sudden dips into the author's life growing up and the intricacies of her family and what it was like with them felt like a hard left which didn't fit into the 'tale' of nannying for the 1% in New York.
But it kinda grows on you, and stick with it because at some point, it all starts making sense. I went in expecting a memoir about nannying for the ultra-wealthy - and this book is that! - but it ended up also being so much more, an eye-opening account of America as a whole on top of snapshots into the world of the ultra-rich as well as the ultra-poor in parallel.
It's really captivating if you take the subtitle into account when reading this and don't just focus on the obvious 'toddler's personal assistant' title. Very behind-the-scenes and candid, brutal even at times, stuff that'll make you squeamish literally and figuratively, too. It's good social commentary on America, I'd say.