Wanted was an excellent read! I appreciated the author's wild stories of caring for the children of the 1%. A great class critique.

I was expecting this to be kinda a tell-all about un-name-dropped upper east side parents and how nuts they are. It truly, really wasn't. Stephanie Kiser explores both her own impoverished childhood (and complicated family) as she nannies for the 1%. It is hard for her not to make connections between her own experiences while watching families with wildly different access. She also sees her own privilege within the nanny community of New York, as a white, young, college educated women in a line of work that often employees immigrants. It was a really interesting read.

This one gave me fun flashbacks to the Nanny Diaries, and my own years as a nanny (albeit in much more midwestern, less bougie homes). Escapist and well-written!

There is so much I relate to in this book! Mom guilt seen in the author’s nannying experience. The author’s own fears about not measuring up to the goals that others and culture have for her.

It was really enjoyable to follow the author’s story from high school to college to nannying to writing.

This review is missing one star only because some of the chapters jumped between topics in a way that I found confusing.

Thank you to Sourcebooks and NetGalley for an ARC of this book! This is my honest review.

This book really took a while to get interesting. It seemed like an unnecessary nonfiction version of The Nanny Diaries.
It got more enjoyable as it went along, with the author sharing more about her upbringing and her outrageously dysfunctional family. She ought to think about writing a memoir specifically about them.
Thanks to #netgalley and #sourcebooks for this #arc of #wantedtoddlerspersonalassistant in exchange for an honest review.

Stephanie Kiser’s memoir is a fascinating look at nannying for the the 1% in New York City and so much more. She shares how she got into nannying, why she stayed as long as she did and how her qualifications as a college educated nanny from the U.S. made her so desirable to so many of these families. It’s an enlightening look at how some of these ultra rich families treat their kids and their help.

It was a little tough for me to read some of the parts she shared about growing up barely making ends meet with her family in Rhode Island. Her vulnerability really showed what it’s like to try to get by when you don’t have a safety net or education on your side.

It was also interesting to learn about her experience during the pandemic and following one of her families to the Hamptons to escape the city when everyone went into lockdown in 2020.

Thanks to NetGalley for a free copy in exchange for an honest review.

I have never nannied for the 1% but I did spend one summer as a nanny and it was a ride. I really enjoyed this book. As someone who also grew up in a super conservative, LOUD household and who discovered very seemingly obvious disconnects that exist in our society way too late in life (I also had a poignant “I don’t think I’m a Republican” epiphany) I related quite a bit with the author as she told her story. Telling her coming of age story in conjunction with her helping to raise other people’s children allowed Stephanie Kiser to draw so many parallels to how we never actually stop growing up.

As someone who once worked as a full-time nanny for six years, this was an interesting read for me. While the two families I worked for in Wellesley, Massachusetts were wealthy by my standards, they did not come close to the level of wealth experienced by the author. Kiser worked for couples who lived in New York City and vacationed at their summer homes in the Hamptons. Our stories were similar in that we both wound up nannying when our life plans didn't work out after college. Caring for others children can be lucrative when compared with available entry-level jobs.

While relaying the day-to-day details of a nanny's life, Kaiser also shares some personal struggles she experienced during those years; an abortion that she went through relatively alone and choosing to no longer share an apartment with her best friend from college. An interesting thread that runs throughout the book is her realization that as a white nanny she was treated differently than others. Mothers tended to be more friendly and share their personal struggles, as if Kaiser was more able to relate due to her whiteness. While I did not see any overt racism while nannying, I did observe some entitled behavior that would gag a maggot such as women who loudly declared that their "push gift" better be a diamond ring worth a karat for every pound the baby weighs.

Overall, a good read and very inciteful if you're ever wondering how the other half lives.

Wanted: Toddler’s Personal Assistant by Stephanie Kiser provides a humorous dive into the everyday chaos of parenting a toddler, filled with witty moments and relatable situations for parents. The struggles of balancing career, family, and personal identity are well captured in Kate’s story, making it easy to sympathize with her. The comedic reflections on negotiating with a toddler and the never-ending demands of motherhood definitely brought a smile.

However, I found the book to be somewhat predictable and rushed, especially toward the end. While Kiser did a great job portraying the hectic rhythm of parenting, some of the deeper themes—like the strain on Kate’s marriage and her personal growth—felt underdeveloped. I would have appreciated more depth in exploring those dynamics rather than just skimming the surface of family issues.

Overall, Wanted: Toddler’s Personal Assistant is an enjoyable, light read that will resonate with parents, but it left me wanting more in terms of character and relationship development. A solid 3-star read for its humor and relatability, but I found myself wishing for more complexity in the storyline.

Wanted: Toddler’s Personal Assistant by Stephanie Kiser is a hilarious and poignant exploration of the chaos and charm of parenting a toddler. Kiser’s debut novel offers an authentic and relatable portrayal of the challenges and triumphs of modern motherhood through the eyes of Kate, a busy mom juggling a demanding job, a struggling marriage, and the high-energy demands of her toddler, Noah.

The novel’s humor shines through in Kate’s witty reflections and the absurdity of her daily life, from negotiating with a pint-sized negotiator to managing a never-ending pile of laundry. Kiser’s sharp writing captures the essence of parenthood with a blend of honesty and humor, making it easy for any parent to see themselves in Kate’s struggles and victories.

The brisk pacing of the novel mirrors the hectic rhythm of parenting, with one chaotic event seamlessly flowing into the next. Kiser strikes a balance between comedic moments and tender reflections, particularly in Kate’s interactions with Noah. This portrayal emphasizes the deep bond between mother and child, even amidst the exhaustion and frustration that can accompany parenting.

One of the book’s standout features is its relatability. Kiser doesn’t shy away from the messiness of parenthood—the guilt, the frustration, and the constant feeling of being stretched too thin. However, she also celebrates the small victories and moments of pure joy that make the challenges worthwhile. This balance makes the book not just a source of laughs, but also a comforting reminder that the struggles of parenting are shared by many.

The supporting characters, including Kate’s husband and her group of mom friends, add depth and variety to the story. Each character brings a unique perspective on parenting, enriching the narrative and offering different facets of the parenting experience.

While primarily a comedy, the novel also touches on the real struggles of balancing work and family life, and the challenges of maintaining one’s identity outside of motherhood. Kate’s journey towards finding balance and accepting that it’s okay not to have everything under control is portrayed with warmth and sincerity.

Wanted: Toddler’s Personal Assistant is a delightful read for anyone who has navigated the rollercoaster of parenting a toddler. Stephanie Kiser has crafted a story that is both laugh-out-loud funny and deeply touching, capturing the highs and lows of parenthood with authenticity and heart. It’s a reminder that even on the toughest days, there is joy to be found in the chaos—and sometimes, all you can do is laugh.

This book went a lot deeper than I expected and I liked a lot of her reflections on her own life. I did feel that her writing was more compelling when writing about the children in her life vs family.

Thank you, @sourcebooks and @netgalley for the ARC of Wanted: Toddler's Personal Assistant by Stephanie Kiser.
I was ecstatic when I got approved for this one, seeing as I worked first as an Au Pair for two years than as a nanny for a decade after that, I'm always curious about other people's experiences working in childcare.

Stephanie Kiser is an American author who, for seven years after graduating college, worked as a nanny for high profile families in New York City. Pursuing a career in writing in such an expensive city, Stephanie soon found herself struggling to find a job that made ends meet and pay for her crippling student loans on top of that. Stephanie viewed the nanny gig as a temporary solution for her dire situation.

I found this book fascinating! Not only because it's a different perspective from someone who's American and caucasian working in a position that predominantly employs immigrants and/or people of color, but also because her clientele was just as distant from my reality. At the same time, there was a lot of her experience that's so intrinsic to being a caregiver that, apart from the privilege and eccentricities of the 1%, made her accounts so familiar to my own.

I have to confess that at first I was put off by her disdain to being a nanny. It was so foreign to me because I absolutely love kids and prefer being surrounded by little ones than dealing with adults, and it triggered this defensiveness in me that gets annoyed when people view it as a less-than occupation. Unfortunately, it isn't valued as it should. There's this elitist view that office jobs are superior and a lot of prejudice surrounding domestic work. But then I remembered that this feeling of inferiority bred even among my own friends who were nannies themselves and also immigrants. Some of them were indignant that I was still working as a nanny even thought I had "documents" and could be working on something more 'dignified'. Then it made me consider Stephanie's point of view—an American-born, white, college educated young woman—and I started giving her more grace.
I loved the insight into her difficult childhood to understand her biases. It helped also to give more context into who she was and why sometimes she resented some of the wealthy people surrounding her. It's also thought-provoking and shines a spotlight on how privilege really traces one's path to success and upward mobility is nearly impossible when you start with so much disadvantage. I enjoyed this book, her writing style and I adored all the stories of her time with the kids and how she inevitably grew to love the little ones she took care. It's the most rewarding thing to gain the love and trust of a child, and it's also very hard to say goodbye to children you love as your own. I'm very happy I got to read it. I recommend it not only for people who are or were caregivers, but also parents who employ nannies. It's a wonderful read.

This was a well-written, insightful read that went far beyond what I expected. While I expected (and got!) many stories about nannying for NYC elites, it's Stephanie Kiser's ability to dig deep into her own childhood memories —comparing her rough childhood to the cushy lives of the children she cares for.— that made this book shine. Her ability to discuss privilege, class, and racial dynamics is masterful. At times, I was thrown off by the timeline switching, but overall, this is a really interesting and insightful take on caregiving for the 1%.

This book didn't really click for me until I got closer to the end. I was tempted to give up a few times in the first half - the sudden dips into the author's life growing up and the intricacies of her family and what it was like with them felt like a hard left which didn't fit into the 'tale' of nannying for the 1% in New York.
But it kinda grows on you, and stick with it because at some point, it all starts making sense. I went in expecting a memoir about nannying for the ultra-wealthy - and this book is that! - but it ended up also being so much more, an eye-opening account of America as a whole on top of snapshots into the world of the ultra-rich as well as the ultra-poor in parallel.
It's really captivating if you take the subtitle into account when reading this and don't just focus on the obvious 'toddler's personal assistant' title. Very behind-the-scenes and candid, brutal even at times, stuff that'll make you squeamish literally and figuratively, too. It's good social commentary on America, I'd say.

Experience life as one of the excessively expensive and often powerful members of high society in this book about a nanny and her young charges. She provides a contrast with her own middle class background and her financial struggles as she serves as a nanny for the children of the very wealthy.

I received this book from the publisher and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. The opinions expressed here are my own.

I enjoyed this book for what it was, very entertaining! We all love to hear about the 1% and how they are able to live their lives.

I love reading about the super wealthy, especially those living in NYC. This book provided an inside look at parenting in this privileged population that was super insightful and entertaining. The author did a great job contrasting the lives of the children she is caring for with the way she was raised. Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an advanced e copy.

In this memoir, Stephanie Kiser uses a dry sense of humor to describe her life as a nanny for the Manhattan elite. Contrasting her own current life - drowning in student debt, fraught relationships, low stability - with the lives of the families she works for - six-figure closets for toddlers, dozens of staff running their lives - provided some interesting insights into how important money and privilege are early on in determining success and stability.
The way I described this memoir was The Glass Castle mixed with The Nanny Diaries. I was expecting a bit less of a memoir and a bit more of a data-driven look at why some kids have it better than others and what the results are.... however, I'm not sure why I was not expecting as much personal history as we received, so this was probably a misunderstanding on my part. Additionally, the author's life was a great case study for the effects of money, privilege, and familial/economic stability on a child's development.

Stephanie Kiser's childhood in a financially strapped family in North Providence, Rhode Island was a far cry from the lives of the privileged children she cared for as a nanny. In this memoir, Kiser alternates anecdotes about her impoverished young years with stories about the mega-rich families she worked for, who resided in Manhattan, and vacationed in places like the Hamptons and Florida.

When Kiser majored in 'Writing for Film and Television' at Boston's Emerson College, she had no intention of being a nanny. However Stephanie's HUGE student loan, which required monthly payments of $1000 (almost entirely for the interest) gave her little choice about employment. Stephanie had to make enough money to pay her rent, take care of her bills, commute around the city, occasionally lend money to her parents, and service her student loan - and nannying was the only job that paid enough. (In some ways, this book is a cautionary tale about student loans, as Kiser wonders if her 'good education' was worth the box it put it her in employment-wise.)

To contrast her own life with that of the rich kids she minded, Kiser compares her childhood to that of her 5-year-old charge Ruby, who attended an Episcopal school with the children of Drew Barrymore, Robert De Niro, Steve Martin, and other celebrities. In the after school hours, Ruby might play in Central Park, get mint chocolate chip ice cream, and be treated to random indulgences on the way back to her family's luxurious Upper East Side apartment. Stephanie writes, "With Ruby I eat gourmet sandwiches from Dean & Deluca and take Ubers across town to celebrated museums."

About her own childhood, Stephanie remembers growing up in a run-down apartment with young parents who had too little maturity and too much responsibility. She notes, "My own childhood was calls from debt collectors, pets that never lasted longer than a few months, and [during hard times] strict portion control that often sent my sisters and me to bed hungry."

Stephanie was employed by a number of families during her seven-year-stint as a child-minder, and some jobs were better than others. Among Kiser's favorite nanny jobs was her first, working for a woman called Sasha and her husband. In this home, Kiser looked after three children: the above-mentioned Ruby, Ruby's little brother Hunter, and a baby (when he came along). Stephanie's employer Sasha was 35-years-old, came from a wealthy family, graduated from Yale, and did not work, but was on the board of myriad fundraising committees. Kiser says, "It's part of a strange phenomenon on the Upper East Side, where women of great means spend decades preparing to attend prestigious schools like Princeton and Stanford, only to obtain degrees they never apply to a career....The working mom is a rarity - and, in many instances, the least respected on the totem pole of motherhood." (Note: This lack of ambition seems very strange to me.)

In any case, though Kiser was a full-time nanny, Sasha was still a hands on mother to her children. Sasha would be dressed and ready when Stephanie arrived to work each morning, and Sasha would prepare food; play with the kids; shower them with affection; and often take them to activities herself.

Kiser worked for Sasha's family for several years, and has many stories about her employment there, including visiting the Florida mansion of Sasha's wealthy parents. The vacation home, on an island near Palm Beach, is a nine-bedroom, eleven bathroom estate, large enough to house twenty people comfortably. There are palm trees and a running trail, golf carts to drive from one part of the yard to another, a putting green, a hot tub, a pool, a fountain, a private beach, and more.

Stephanie compares this to her family vacations when she was a child. Once, the Kisers went to a Howard Johnsons beachside motel in the dead of winter, when rates were affordable; another 'vacation' was a trip to Pennsylvania for Stephanie's basketball tournament, where the hotel was so gnarly that Stephanie's mother developed impetigo from the 'hot tub', and Stephanie played the last two days with strep throat.

One of Kiser's less fun jobs was working for a woman called Stefany and her husband, whose children were a 6-year-old boy named Digby and his baby brother Sampson. Digby would call his brother "stupid ugly baby"; scream at Stephanie, "Don't talk to me! I hate you! Dumb fat, Stephanie!"; and call Stephanie "stupid, foolish, and non-use." Digby's mother didn't discourage this behavior, and told Kiser, "My philosophy is no discipline. Digby is a good boy; he needs guidance, not regulation." Kiser writes, "Digby is not a bad kid....but a 'no discipline' philosophy has taught him that being cruel is acceptable." During a group playdate, Digby acted out, sang raunchy songs, and slapped another child, but his mother didn't react. Digby also purposely soiled his pants every day, and Kiser was expected to wash his underwear after cleaning off the poop.

Kiser found Stefany difficult in many ways: Stefany was poor before marrying into her husband's rich family, and she spoke openly about her current wealth, taking every opportunity to mention something the family owned or a vacation they'd gone on. By contrast, when Kiser mentioned moving into a new building with a terrace and a gym, Stefany responded, "A gym, huh?" Kiser observes, "There is a hostility in her voice that I have heard her use with others - waitstaff or secretaries, people with whom she has only brief interactions and whom she decides are less than her." When a worker remodeling Stefany's kitchen asked to use the bathroom, Stefany said, "I'm sorry; would you mind driving into town to use the bathroom? There's a Starbucks there. It's only ten minutes away."

When Kiser decided to quit the job with Stefany, she called her nanny agency to confirm she was leaving. Kiser's agent said she wasn't surprised; the previous nanny went to lunch one day and never returned. Stefany thought the nanny might have been murdered or kidnapped, but the girl told [the agency] she was fine; she just couldn't spend a single moment longer working for that woman.

Kiser writes much more about being a nanny, and intersperses the nanny stories with numerous tales about her past. As a kid, Kiser was a terrible student; had a hard time learning to read; was in the disabilities program for years; was overweight.....and stuffed herself with food whenever she got the chance; had an uneasy relationship with her mother; had a father who kept leaving the family for other women; etc. In short, Stephanie had a difficult time of it.

Then, when Kiser was in middle school, she showed a surprising talent as a basketball player. This led to a scholarship to a toney high school called Lincoln School for Girls. There Stephanie met her best friend Lila, and she writes a good deal about their relationship, which had highs and lows. In any case, Stephanie eventually managed to raise her grades enough to be accepted to Emerson College (which led to her humongous student debt).

Kiser even ventures into politics when she admits to blindly going along with her family's staunch support for the Republicans, whose policies actually harmed people in the Kisers' socioeconomic class. Kiser was enlightened by Hillary Clinton's book, 'Hard Choices', which led to a 180 degree change in Stephanie's views. 👍

Kiser also writes about other nannies she met during her employment, and their kind of 'nanny club' that organized playdates among their charges, and gave them the chance to share concerns and advice. Some of the nannies were immigrants, well past retirement age, who still worked 12-hour-days.

Kiser was about to quit nannying when the Covid pandemic hit, and she had no choice but to move in with her employers for the duration of the crisis, for safety reasons. Some of Kiser's nanny friends, who had families of their own - and couldn't live with their employers - were summarily fired; a few nannies even showed up to work to find their employers had left New York for their vacation homes, without informing the staff. (Goes to show how some entitled rich people conduct themselves.)

Kiser makes many cogent observations about women in this memoir. In Kiser's role as a nanny, especially during the Covid pandemic, when she lived with her 'kids', Kiser was privy to the private lives of her families. Thus she notes that, "Women, regardless of their age, race, or tax bracket, were overshadowed by the men they were associated with. Whether it was a stay-at-home mother watching the children from dawn to dusk or one with a master's degree and a job at the UN, when the weekends came the story remained the same. These women would busy themselves cooking, cleaning, and caring for the children, while the men carried on with their lives."

Thinking of her own childhood, and her mother's problems, Stephanie goes on to say, "The fact was, Americans supported working wives, so long as the women still did all the things they'd done when they didn't work......Women in America were f**d. Poor, minority, and uneducated women in America were doubly f**d."

Kiser is now a writer and an executive assistant at a tech company. Who knows, maybe she'll even break into television and movies. 🙂

I became interested in Upper East Side families when I read Primates of Park Avenue by Wednesday Martin. Kiser's memoir, which addresses the topic from a different angle, is a good follow-up; it's interesting and suffused with self-deprecating humor. Highly recommended.

Thanks to Netgalley, Stephanie Kiser, and Sourcebooks for a copy of the book.

I really appreciated this author's perspective, both in sharing her upbringing and in the details of her work as a nanny. I definitely came for the "toddler's personal assistant" title and stayed for the crazy family dynamics at play. I loved that it kind of toggled between her upbringing and her work as a nanny- it kept me engaged and wanting to know what happened next. I also became emotionally invested and am just so thrilled for her that she followed her dreams and wrote a book!!!