This is such a necessary book. As a gay Christian man, the author, Justin Lee, has been a trusted resource on LGBTQ+ issues as they intersect with the Church for at least a decade. TORN is part memoir, part instruction manual, and part theological overview. It covers all of these things well. This review is for the updated and revised edition released in May 2024, which offers an expanded examination of current movements and how the author's knowledge has broadened over the past 12+ years since the first edition was published.

The target audience for TORN seems to be conservative Christians who have LGBTQ+ family members and friends and feel torn about how to think about who they are and what a relationship with them should look like. I'm not exactly the target audience for this book, and I realized that as soon as I started thinking that Lee was being too soft on this audience. However, I appreciate this book for what it is, and I know that a more direct approach probably wouldn't land with the people he's trying to reach.

TORN is a compassionate and informed resource in which Lee shares his experience growing up in fundamentalist Christian spaces, realizing he's gay and not wanting to be, encountering the brand of Christianity that believes that conversion therapy works, going to great lengths to find a way to change his sexuality or find ways to honor God as a gay man, and his very slow journey to consider other options for his life, his view of God, and the ways he had been taught to interpret the Bible. Impressively, his faith remained solid through it all. I admired his strength in the face of people who seemed committed to misunderstanding him and allergic to humility when considering theological viewpoints other than their own.

Lee covers a lot of ground in TORN—more than I can mention here—and shares a lot of insight with the goal of healing divisions in families and churches. My main criticism is that he could've wrapped it up sooner with the last few chapters. Again, this book is so necessary, and I'm glad it exists. I hope it finds its way into the hands of Christians who feel torn about their relationships with LGBTQ+ loved ones and results in a lot less harm being done in the future.

*This review is based on a digital advance copy provided by the publisher. All opinions are 100% honest and my own.

One of the most gracious and thought-provoking contributions to the Christian conversation on sexuality that I have read. If you agree with Lee, it challenges you to show kindness to those who don't. If you don't agree with Lee, it challenges you to see the humanity of the other perspective.

Wow. As a straight Christian with gay Christian friends, I was extremely interested in what the author, Justin Lee, had to say. He was so real and insightful. While I'm the first to admit that I don't spend nearly as much time in my Bible as I should, I also strongly disagreed with other Christians who believe that someone was destined for hell just because of who they loved. The author shares his story, but more than that, he shares his love for Jesus and his desire to follow God's will.

If you consider yourself to be a born again believer in Christ, regardless of your stance on same-sex relationships, I urge you to read this book.

I read this book when it first came out and found his story very impactful. He grew up in a loving Christian home and was so devoted to his faith he was called "God boy" at school. As he realized he was gay he naturally had a crisis and prayed and prayed for it to be taken away. Gradually he realized that this was how he was made by God. He started the gay Christian network and even coined the terms still used today by Christians as side A, affirming, and side B, non-affirming. What I find so charming about Justin is his willingness to continually love and engage with side B Christians. I do not see him as much in public life so I was excited to read the updated version of Torn. There are new chapters and new stories. It is worth the read even if you already read it. And if you haven't read it go get it!