I received this from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Normally I devour Kerry's books,but this started off slow for me. The story is compelling and great characters. I did love how the story unfolded in the end.

I really liked this even though I would say I enjoyed Julias POV more. Matt was complicated and trippy and I often ended his chapters confused or frustrated, he did end up redeeming himself though!

Kerry Lonsdale’s books are all about characters. Matt is estranged from his grandmother, Julia, when he is suddenly thrust back into her life. Matt has to decide if he will help his grandmother and the reader explores their relationship as he decides. The characters are written extremely well and I loved the dual timelines and hearing the story from Matt and Julia (a message therapist where his grandmother lives). Julia is facing her own troubles. She will go to the ends of the earth to help someone. This story pulled me in and didn’t let go.

Thank you for the ARC!

Unfortunately not for me. There was magic realism that I just wasn’t ready for. I also thought that some of the words and phrasing throughout the book felt formal and choppy.

Kerry knocks this one out of the park too. Matt's journey is one of 4 stories within the book. It is a twisting whining road from his journey in New Mexico to California and a few stops in between.

It is guaranteed to make you laugh, cry and treasure the people you cross paths with in your lifetime. One person can change everything if you let them.

Thank you to Netgalley, the publisher and the author, for an ARC of this book, in exchange for an honest review.
The premise of the book drew me in but once I started reading it, I just couldn’t get into it at all.
I wish the author, publisher and all those promoting the book much success and connections with the right readers.

Find Me in California is my first book by this author and I have to say, she packs quite the emotional punch. If you enjoy angst - and I do mean a whole boatload of angst - this is the book for you. My emotions were fully engaged from start to finish. What a ride.

The book focuses on four main characters: Julia, Matt, Julia's beloved grandmother, and Matt's estranged grandmother. Through diary entries and flashbacks, it tells the backstories of the grandmothers while continuing their stories in the present and also giving us Matt's and Julia's. The lives of these four characters, total strangers (or are they?), intersect when the grandmothers end up in the same memory care unit at an assisted living facility. What unfolds is an unexpected tale of friendship, betrayal, abandonment, forgiveness, loss, love, and new beginnings.

There are poignant moments, heartbreaking moments, and moments that are just flat-out weird. Are they magical realism? Drug-induced hallucinations? Whatever they were, I couldn't look away. Even when the feelings induced were a bit ick (for me), Lonsdale's intensely immersive storytelling kept me glued to the pages. There are so many twists, turns, and OMG-what-the-heck moments that I had to know what would happen next, especially to these four main characters. Lonsdale gives them flaws, layers, strengths, and weaknesses that bring them to life on the page. The ones that are immensely unlikable still have vulnerabilities that draw sympathy, the beloved ones have unknown flaws that, when discovered, cast a different light on who their loved ones thought they were. There are issues of abandonment, grief, guilt, and the first flutterings of the possibility of love. It's a fascinating character study that held me in its firm grasp.

If you're in the mood for a deeply emotional story with complex characters, unexpected twists, family dynamics, and a bit of romance, give this one a chance. It's a real page turner.
4.5 Stars

Content Warning: death, child abandonment, drugs, adultery, suicide, dementia

With Find Me in California, bestselling author Kerry Lonsdale once again examines the far-reaching ramifications of familial secrets, turmoil, and psychological trauma. She describes the story as “romantic book club fiction,” noting that at its most basic level, the story is a romance. But it unfolds within the context of “themes of found family, chance meetings, and two estranged friends tangled in secrets that span decades.”

Find Me in California delivers everything that readers have come to expect from a Lonsdale novel. It is an absorbing, evenly paced story effectively related from the varying perspectives of her fully developed, intriguing characters. Matt Gatlin is a successful photographer with looming deadlines who has avoided serious relationships. When he was just ten years old, he was sent to live with his grandmother, Elizabeth “Liza” Holloway, following the death of his mother. Not only did Liza withhold affection and warmth from Matt, she actually banished him from her presence whenever they ended up in the same room of her palatial Beverly Hills home. As soon as he turned eighteen, he moved out and never looked back, swearing that he would never “sacrifice his sanity for her peace of mind again” and locking away his memories of the miserable years during which she failed and refused to comfort or console him after he lost his parents. As the story opens, Matt learns that Liza is living in the Rosemont Assisted Living and Memory Care facility. But she is going to be evicted in just five days because she is financially insolvent. The man to whom she delegated power of attorney to handle her affairs appears to have absconded. Matt is her designated alternate representative, but he has no intention of rescuing her.

Ruby Rose Hope (Mama Rose) resides in the same facility, having been afflicted with Alzheimer’s disease for some time. She is lucid at times, and her granddaughter, Julia, cherishes those increasingly fleeting moments because she is experiencing the nearly unbearable grief of watching the grandmother to whom she is completely devoted gradually fade away. She has no social life and her last relationship ended badly due to her commitment to Mama Rose. Five days per week, Julia works at a country club spa before spending another four hours, and up to twelve hours on her days off, volunteering as the in-house massage therapist at Rosemont to defray the costs of Mama Rose’s care. For reasons Julia has never understood, Mama Rose was adamant about spending her final days at Rosemont, and Julia has mortgaged Mama Rose’s home, in which she still resides, to help pay for her grandmother’s care. Now new management is refusing to honor the fee reduction agreement, insisting upon payment in full from every resident. The modified terms will take effect in just five days. She has no idea how she is going to be able to honor her promise to her grandmother that she would not relocate her.

Inexplicably, Liza has been hostile to Mama Rose, who doesn’t seem to recognize her, since she arrived at Rosemont. In a surprising moment of clarity, Mama Rose emphatically implores Julia to find her diary. Overhearing her request, Liza remarks, “All those secrets. She was very good at keeping them.” Julia suddenly realizes that her grandmother and Liza knew each other before they both became residents at Rosemont.

Back at Mama Rose’s house, Julia locates the diary with “Magnolia Blu” embossed on the cover. It was the name of her grandmother’s successful landscaping business. Lonsdale effectively intersperses Mama Rose’s diary entries, dating back to June 1972, into the narrative. She employs them to gradually reveal how Ruby Rose, who then called herself Magnolia Blu, ran away from her Arizona home, eventually making her way to California, and met Liza in a grocery story parking lot on her very first day there.

Meanwhile, Matt’s “damn moral compass” has compelled him to travel to Rosemont and make arrangements for Liza’s care, in part because he learns that Liza’s circumstances are quite dire, but largely because he knows that his late mother would “look past their estrangement to help her mom” now that Liza needs it. Matt meets a captivating and mysterious woman along the road who calls herself Magnolia Blu. He agrees to give her a ride and ends up taking a significant geographical, emotional, and psychological detour that delays his arrival at Rosemont. He abuses alcohol and smokes a lot of marijuana, but whether he’s hallucinating, dreaming, or actually encounters a spirit of some sort is left to readers’ interpretation in what is inarguably the weakest and a wholly unnecessary aspect of the story.

It was Julia who answered the telephone when Matt first called Rosemont and they continue conversing. They don’t like each other much in the beginning, but as they get acquainted, they find themselves drawn to each other, which surprises both of them. They discover that they have a great deal in common. Their grandmothers are both residents of Rosemont and, as Julia learns as she reads Mama Rose’s diary, have a shocking shared history. They both lived with their grandmothers as children, although Mama Rose was the opposite of Liza, doting on and adoring Julia. They were both abandoned by their mothers – in different ways — and bear the resultant psychological scars that have made it impossible for either of them to sustain a romantic relationship . . . so far. Might they be able to heal each other? Or will their commonalities drive them apart?

Lonsdale has crafted another emotionally nuanced, multi-layered story with, in addition to the aforementioned romance, a compelling mystery. This time she examines the fraught journeys of four main characters – Matt, Julia, Liza, and Ruby Rose. Two of them are still imagining and crafting their adult lives, while the other two are nearing the conclusion of their earthly sojourns. Through their experiences, Lonsdale illustrates the destructive power of secrets, resentments, and grudges, as well as the crippling pain of abandonment and the ways in which it destroys self-confidence and prohibits the development of a healthy self-concept. In particular, the rejection of a child by a parent impairs the child’s ability to form healthy attachments to and trust others, as shown by Matt’s pattern of short-term, transient relationships before he meets Julia. She also demonstrates how her characters, upon discovering the others’ histories, are able to understand, empathize, and, ultimately, forgive.

Perhaps the most important theme Lonsdale probes with respect to all four characters is how quickly time elapses, and how important it is to ask questions, avoid making assumptions, and seek resolution and reconciliation . . . before it is too late. “Don’t live your life with regrets,” Liza wisely counsels Julia. “Just live as fully as you can. Take it from one who knows: you can reshoot a scene multiple times, but you cannot do over your life.”

Even though her empathetic and likeable characters sustain disappointment and heartbreak, Lonsdale shows how they address their pasts head-on and learn from history in order to move forward, unburdened by what they have endured. Lonsdale emphasizes how important family is and why it is critical to learn from misguided decisions – both our own and our relatives’. As one character notes, “Make peace with your past or you’ll be lonely for the rest of your life. Nobody wants that.” Despite the serious subjects she addresses, Lonsdale demonstrates her characters’ strength and resilience, and infuses the story with touches of humor and hope. Find Me in California is another engrossing and impactful offering from a skillful and imaginative storyteller.

After being estranged from callous grandmother Elizabeth/Liza for over a decade, Matt is irritated when she requires help. While begrudgingly assisting her, he meets Julia, whose beloved grandmother Ruby Rose lives in the same nursing home. Will this be the catalyst that finally allows him to confront and heal from his traumatic childhood?

"Make peace with your past or you'll be lonely for the rest of your life. Nobody wants that."

As with this author's previous books, I was immediately drawn in by her prose. I was intrigued by the diary Julia found and enjoyed reading the passages and discovering the secrets found within. Julia's relationship with her grandmother was touching, and I enjoyed the flashbacks detailing their past interactions. I was intrigued by Julia's take on what happens to a person's "energy" after they die and found it lovely:

"What if when we die, our memories don't die with us—they're just released into the universe, where they manifest in some other form?"

Last Summer (5 stars) and No More Secrets, #3 (5 stars) remain my favorites by this author.

Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico; Pasadena, California; Key Largo, Florida

I received an advance copy of this book. All opinions are my own.

Find Me in California by Kerry Lonsdale

Dealing with the knowledge that their grandmothers will soon pass, Julia Hope and Matt Gatlin have very different points of view. Julia is all love while Matt is full of anger and resentment. They serendipitously meet at the advanced care facility and over six days, multiple points of view and uncovered family secrets, lots of historical baggage is unpacked!

This book has a genre sample with equal parts family drama, dual timelines, romance and magical realism. Thank you to Lake Union Press, NetGalley and Kerry Lonsdale for a copy of this book.

Excuse me while I put my emotional luggage away…Sometimes a book gives you an emotional sucker punch when you aren’t expecting it and ouch did this book do that! The things that the main characters Julia and Matt deal with and the secrets and family challenges that come out had me questioning so much about choices I’ve made and need to make in my life. This story is amazing & brings out all of your emotions: frustration, anger, sadness and joy! The intensity and realness that Kerry brings to her characters never disappoint! Her research efforts to get her characters so accurate and relatable with every ailment or scenario is masterful and draws you into every scene. I could imagine the gardens & being at Rosemont. Go on this journey of discovery & healing with Julia & Matt. There are plenty of surprises along the way! So don’t wait read & find out who Liza & Magnolia truly are to each other with Matt & Julia and what happened to their parents. A story of tragedy, suspense, healing and just maybe a sparkle of pixie dust! After all it is California! (*EWK) Now I have some decisions of my own to make thank you Kerry!

Well this was one helluva emotional rollercoaster. Love, loss, family secrets, regrets…all intertwined into a four-story-timeline. Two grandmothers, Mama Rose & Liza, that were once close and end up in the same nursing home. Their stories start to unfold with the discovery of a journal. Julia is struggling to make ends meet and keep her promise to Mama Rose to keep her in this specific nursing home. Another problem arises: Liza also has to leave. Her belongings end up at her grandson Matt’s place and he is having none of it. Liza blamed the death of her daughter on Matt when he was just a child. When Matt calls the facility to tell them he wants nothing to do with his grandmother, Julia is the one that answers. As Julia is trying to come to terms with her grandmother’s Alzheimer’s, she now has to persuade Matt to take in his grandmother.
For whatever reason, Liza seems to not care for Mama Rose. Then, Julia discovers a journal. Mama Rose’s journal. Written in that journal: the friendship and history that Mama Rose & Liza shared.
During Matt’s roadtrip to California, he discovers shocking truths about his grandmother that he never knew of. Truths that Julia now holds in her hands - the journal. Julia & Matt’s story intersect & revelations come to light. Family, love, loss, trauma, and pain - Julia & Matt share more than they ever could have imagined.
This was a beautiful story and is the perfect beach read of 2024!
Thank you to the author for my advanced copy. Kerry Lonsdale NEVER disappoints.

When family secrets from past generations surface, there's a second chance for forgiveness and hope for a new generation. Past and present interweave to unravel a story brimming with secrets and surprises. Find me in California is an emotional ride from beginning to end. I enjoyed every moment of it.

I have read so many of Kerry Lonsdale’s books and have loved them all, including this one. There are two young people and two old people and the story lets us get to know them. They are people who have issues that they need to deal with, just like all of us. All of the people were very real to me and I really felt invested in the story. I loved it and will definitely read it again.

Thank you to Lake Union Publishing and NetGalley for this ARC. This review is totally my opinion.

This was a no for me. Parts of it were okay but the parts where Matt was hallucinating gave me the ick. I was glad when it was finally over.

I didn't think I was going to enjoy this book and set it aside after reading almost half. I picked it back up and finished it today and it was quite good. It was a little bit like the last book I read with the Alzheimer’s and drug addiction but different too.

Two grandchildren are raised by their grandmothers. Both grandmothers are in the same nursing home. One with Alzheimers and one because she has nothing left and is old. I did not like either grandmother. Let me explain that.

Rose or as she is called by Julia, Mama Rose, has Alzheimers and is in a nursing home. She does not recognize Julia most of the time. She confuses her with Lea who is Julia's mother and a secret is revealed. Julia has always loved her grandmother and had bad feelings about her mother.

Liza is in the same nursing home as Rose. She's old and even though she was rich at one time she is now without money and needs her grandson to come help her find a new home to live in. She was never kind to her grandson. Never there for him. After he lost both parents to separate accidents she was all he had left and she resented him. She actually blamed him for his mother, her daughter, drowning. He was a child.

These two older women have a history. A deep history that has a few secrets too. They were once the best of friends but something happened to cause them to go in different directions. Their grandchildren though found each other and fell in love. Not that either grandmother knew that though.

I did not like Rose or Liza. To me they were both awful. Rose did love Julia but she also lied to her repeatedly about her mother. I think that was just about the worse thing she could have done. She messed up that girl. I would have understood if Lea had remained the same throughout the years. But she didn't. She deserved to get to know Julia and Julia deserved to have her mother. Matt's grandmother was just mean. Yes she went through some things but to blame him for his mother's death was just the worse thing I can think of. He was a child. Grieving himself. No I didn't like either grandmother.

I loved how Matt and Julia fell for each other. I loved how they both found a life. I thought both deserved it.

There was a lot in this story. From the Alzheimer disease to drug addiction to lots of drinking and smoking pot. Some bad trips of the mind too. This book was definitely not boring. It was full of things to keep you interested. Unless you are like me and put it down.. I'm glad I finished it. It was quite good.

Thank you #NetGalley, #KerryLonsdale, #LadeUnion, for this ARC. This is my own true thoughts about this book.

Four stars and I recommend it.

A heartwarming story that reminds us to live life fully, that sometimes loving is a risk but it is always a risk worth taking.
Matt Gatlin and Julia Hope have both been damaged by childhood abandonment and protect their hearts by not getting involved. Matt was ignored by his coldhearted grandmother after he went to live with her after the death of his parents when he was young, so he isn't very sympathetic when he finds out she is broke and being kicked out of her retirement home. Julia's beloved grandmother, suffering from Alzheimer's, is at the same home. Unknown to them is the fact that their pasts intertwine, perhaps explaining why they are so drawn to one another. The story alternates between past, told through Julia's grandmother's diary, and present, from Julia and Matt's perspectives, to reveal their connection and explore themes of friendship, love, fate, and trust. There is some odd "mystical" stuff in the middle of the book, but the attempt to explain it logically later in the book appeased me. I liked the characters and how everything came together in the end.

I have been a fan of Kerry Lonsdale's writing for a while now. So, no one could have been more shocked than I was when it took me a bit to connect to this book. I mean....the cover is gorgeous, the blurb was enticing and I have a history of loving her books. But it was a raw and difficult book to read. It wasn't easy and fluffy - - it was gritty and a bit melancholy. Once I accepted that I was going to have to work and wait a bit for the happy-ish ever after, I settled in.

There were several times in the book when you aren't quite sure if the character is having a lapse from reality, a mystical experience, or a hallucination from drugs. It could truly be confusing and left me feeling a bit off kilter but I went with it. I believe the whole point of those moments was to not truly know what was happening. It was the mystery of it that made it mystical.

The two main characters, Julia and Matt both have a ton of baggage and it's weighing them both down in ways they can't quite handle. Julia is dealing with her grandmother's Alzheimers by herself and refuses to reach out to her mother who abandoned her when she was young. Matt has been called upon to come to his grandmother's rescue when she's about to be evicted from the care facility, but he doesn't want to step in. His relationship with her was negative and unhealthy and there is no love lost between the two of them. As Julia and Matt are pulled together because of the connection through the care facility, they find they have other things in common as well.

The humanity displayed by these characters is real and often painful to read. They both practice unhealthy avoidance techniques. Matt's methods are a bit more unhealthy that Julia's as his involve drugs and alcohol. Her's tend to involve putting her head in the sand and trying to avoid and ignore problems.

This book pulled at my heartstrings a bit. You really want to see Julia and Matt find their happy ending, but they have to work through some things first. Overall, even though this isn't an easy read and you may not always like the characters or their habits, it felt real and it was well-written.

Thank you to NetGalley for this ARC. I voluntarily chose to read and review it and the opinions contained within are my own.

This book was very interesting. The two main characters each have suffered painful things growing up. There were parts of the book that I found confusing and think the book would have been better if omitted (when Matt is in hotel with woman) . I felt it didn’t add anything to the book and was kinda out there. I enjoyed the ending!

Thanks to Netgalley for this eArc for my review.

This was my second book that I’ve read by Kerry Lonsdale and I found Find Me In California to be a very enjoyable story. I loved all the characters. Even though they had made some bad decisions in their past, I believe they all learned from them and really did their best to make amends with those they hurt. It was a story about learning to forgive and that by doing so you can open yourself up to finding love and happiness. This storyline was especially nice because the 2 main characters actually find family that they hadn’t been a part of in the past. I really enjoyed everything about this book and would recommend it to others. It’s womem’s fiction with a touch of romance. I’d like to thank NetGalley for the arc that I obtained off the Read Now section. I’m giving this book a 5 star rating and would be interested in reading more books by author Kerry Lonsdale.