In this interesting memoir the author recounts her experiences growing up and struggling to deal with life, change, socializing, school, feelings etc. while dealing with suicidal ideation as well, and finally at 15 getting a diagnosis of autism alongside depression and anxiety.

It gets at how women are often diagnosed later in life because they are socialized differently and often learn how to mask in ways that might lead to them not getting flagged. And I would say the author's experiences and struggles are even more visibly intense than a lot of women diagnosed later in life. I think it's an important conversation that is being had because there are a lot of misconceptions about Autism Spectrum Disorder and what it looks like in a range of people. I would love to see more women opening up about their experiences that may be similar or different, but we also need to talk about how incredibly difficult and expensive it is to get diagnosed as an adult, especially in the United States. Which is part of why there has been a spike in online discussions of self-diagnosis after research and taking online assessments (that have been shown to be accurate based on studies by the way). This isn't the whole picture because people are not the same, but it's an engaging memoir. Note that there is quite a bit of graphic depiction of mental health issues including panic attacks, anxiety, suicidal ideation, and being hospitalized. The audio book is great. I received an audio review copy via NetGalley, all opinions are my own.

I loved listening to Paige narrate her audiobook as it added more genuineness to it. Her story of being an autistic women is so inspiring to others who are recently diagnosed or having struggles understanding diagnosis.

I was very intrigued to read this after an enlightening conversation with my older brother. Our father, while a very good man, husband and provider- had some offbeat tendencies of which we had talked about for years. One glaring tendency was not being able to really look someone in the eye while speaking to them. My brother speculated, "I wonder if he was autistic?" My father was born in 1924, so the term wasn't "available" back then.

Paige tells her story from early childhood to present day (she's about 23) describing situations that set her apart from everyone. A ton of crying, asking a lot of questions in class when she didn't understand something, preferring to work absolutely alone rather than in groups, being excluded from parties, hearing noises that to others might be subtle or non-existent- but to Paige a relentless persecution in the background. These are just some of her challenges, but she also suffered from depression and the nagging desire to kill herself.

Paige seeks out help through various therapists and psychiatrists, spends a horrific sounding stint in the psych ward, and finally gets the diagnosis of Autism. While she still suffers from her brain being built different than most people, she embraces her diagnosis, establishes boundaries to enhance her life, and freely shares her diagnosis when conflicts arise.

I read the ebook and also listened to the audiobook (which she personally narrated). I enjoyed both versions, but was really impressed with the strength and sense of self that bled through her narration. It was as if every single word was so important to her, and she carefully delivered each sentence with that reverence- and occasional spunk. Paige was a top tier student in school, even rating Valedictorian- and approached her schoolwork with an almost manic attention. She is a young woman with a lot of focus and drive with a purpose to educate people about the Autism diagnosis. I commend Paige for her heartfelt efforts.

Thank you to the publisher Hachette Books / Hachette Audio/ Hachette Go who provided an advance reader copy via NetGalley.