Wow. What a perfectly eerie book for October.

In Where I End, Aoileann lives—or rather, is trapped—on a remote island where she and her grandmother care for her mother, who was left in a vegetative state after a horrific accident years ago. Because of this, Aoileann's life is stagnant, and she is isolated, shunned by the other islanders. When Rachel, an artist, moves to the island with her newborn son, Aoileann stumbles upon them at the beach. Rachel’s kindness sparks an unsettling obsession in Aoileann.

Where I End is atmospheric, chilling, and difficult to fully put into words—a perfect read for any horror fan.

I almost gave up on this book halfway through because of a certain thing that happened (iykyk). I'm not really that put off by being made uncomfortable by something I read, it's just that I wasn't all that invested from the beginning anyways. However, I picked it back up and ended up getting kind of intrigued by the "mystery". I wanted to know what happened and why etc etc. I have to admit that here at the end of it all I am a teensy weensy bit disappointed by said "mystery". It was interesting enough but it didn't knock my socks off or anything. I kinda thought the book would be even more creepy and scary, but that was just my personal prediction. Anyways the book was pretty good, but maybe it was not 100% for me. I will say though, that our MC was very interesting to follow

oh my god. oh MY GOD!!! I am horrified, yet this is one one of my fave reads of the year.

this will haunt my brain for... probably forever. I didn't think it was going to be as dark as it was going in (I don't mind, I loved it) but be sure to check the content warnings.

A tale of family, isolation, obsession, manipulation, loathing, revenge and SO MUCH MORE. This book made me feel disturbed and heartbroken.

Thank you Netgalley and Kensington Books | Erewhon Books for sharing a digitial copy. As always, opinions are my own.

Where I End is not a book I can widely recommend. It deals with incredibly dark themes, in incredibly dark ways, with body horror elements that I think will make even the most seasoned horror reader uncomfortable. It’s a book for a specific kind of reader who is willing to engage overtly with a lot of unrelenting darkness – and I am definitely that reader, because this is one of my favorite horror novels of the year so far.

Where I End is set on a dank, desolate island off the coast of Ireland, where Aoileann lives with her grandmother and bedridden mother, who is non-verbal and requires a lot of care. Aoileann is an outcast, shunned by the other villagers. Lonely and isolated, Aoileann longs for a loving family…and when she meets mainlander Rachel and her baby on the shore one afternoon, she sees a chance to finally have one.

I don’t want to say anything else about the plot, because what follows is one of the most intense, raw, claustrophobic examinations of motherhood I’ve ever read. Author Sophie White, who won the Shirley Jackson Award for Novels for this book, says in her Author’s Note that she began Where I End with an anchoring question: ”What kind of person is produced when they have a mother, but has never experienced her love?” And she answers that question brilliantly: in horrifying, unflinching, thought-provoking, and heartbreaking ways, asking us to think about what’s left over after we’ve given so much of ourselves to others, with no reward or even acknowledgement. She explores the theme of nature vs. nurture: Are we born a certain way, into a certain fate, no matter what – or is it solely our upbringing that shapes who we become? The setting of this book is almost a character in and of itself; you can practically feel the island’s dampness and hostility dripping from every page. And White’s prose is so visceral and strange, with Gothic undertones and folk horror roots that made this such an unsettling, affecting reading experience.

Before Where I End, Sophie White had only written romantic comedies. I haven’t read any of her other books, but I’m really hoping she sticks with horror from now on. This book is depraved in the best way: the kind of book that horrifies you on every level, while also leaving you pondering the human condition in a way you never have before. I know it won’t be for everyone, but from me it earns every star. Thank you to Erewhon Books for the complimentary reading opportunity.=

I unfortunately wound up DNF’ing this at around the 20% mark. Not for anything specific, but I just had difficulty getting into the story through the writing style. I think I just wasn’t in the right headspace to read this, as the writing is very descriptive and distinctive, but I had trouble caring about anything that was going on or paying attention to the characters or their actions. I might come back to this story at some other time to see if it resonates better with me, as I can tell this is a huge hit with many horror fans and I wonder if the miss for me was simply just because I wasn’t in the mood to read it at this time.

Thank you to the NetGalley and Kensington Books for providing this e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Gorgeously dark and darkly gorgeous, intensely ominous and filled with the darkest mentalities I've ever really read

Where I End was a dark and twisted story about a daughter living on a remote island off the coast of Ireland while caring for her physically incapacitated mother. I loved the unexpected directions the story went and its twists throughout. It was unique and especially dark.

Thank you to NetGalley for the opportunity to read an ARC of this book!

Wow. Where do I begin… (ha, see what I did there?)

Where I End deeply unsettled me. I was uncomfortable throughout the entire reading but I was also completely captivated. Once I started, it felt impossible to stop.

Where I End is a beautifully written literary horror following the life of Aoileann, a young girl and her lonely life on an Irish island.

This accomplished novel explored issues surrounding motherhood and caregiving and what happens when you diminish in the giving of yourself.

The narrative voice of Aoileann is horrifyingly creepy and reminds me of Merricat in We Have Always Lived in the Castle. Both characters yearn for love and faced abusive, lonely childhoods. However, without the sister bond Merricat had, Aoileann's destruction of her family has a darker ending.

This was a thought provoking own voices novel but trigger warnings for those who are carers or have suffered from post partum depression.

This honest review is given with thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this book.

Dark, haunting, and beautifully written, Sophie White has written a compelling piece of body horror exploring motherhood, mental health, isolation, desire. This story is vividly gothic, disturbing, and unique; I couldn’t look away.

Thank you to NetGalley and Erewhon Books for an ARC.

Respectfully….no. Just no.

I wish I could tell you at least one thing I liked and/or can appreciate about this book, but honestly I can’t come up with one. I wasn’t a fan of the writing style. I wasn’t a fan of the clear “mommy issues” that drove our main character to do some pretty odd things. Most of all, I wasn’t a fan of this ever being written in the first place. To put it bluntly.

Maybe this book has an audience and it just isn’t me, but I was so glad when it was over.

This is so deeply perverse and unsettling. I always appreciate horror that engages with how grotesque and violent pregnancy is, and also treats women's bodies as horror in a non-sexist way. The way the main character finds Rachel's postpartum body so beautiful, though the descriptions are defamiliarized, juxtaposed with her mother's description of her own vile pregnancy and ensuing postpartum depression really highlight the cycles of violence rather than women themselves. The MC's sick, homoerotic mothering relationship is also remarkably well wrought.

The island says that this is where I end…

A tragic,disturbing and brilliant horror story. At some points I didn’t think I could go on,yet at the same time,I was transfixed.

Readers get immersed in the haunting world of Aoileann, a young woman grappling with the unsettling dynamics of her isolated life on a remote Irish island. Living with her grandmother, Móraí, Aoileann navigates the caring of her eerie,catatonic mother, who exists in a state that blurs the line between life and death.

Crunch.

This novel was rich with tension and dread, characterized by striking imagery and the most disturbing thoughts that reflect Aoileann's internal struggles. As she confronts her responsibilities towards her mother aka the bed-thing, the narrative delves into themes of neglect and the burden of care, encapsulated in Aoileann's own struggle with confinement and decay.

Gurgle.

The island people itself became a character, harboring a deep-seated hatred towards Aoileann and her family. This hostility underscores Aoileann's isolation and the existential questions surrounding her mother’s fate. When Aoileann befriends Rachel, a young transplant to the island , something in her is awakened- a feeling deep within that she can’t explain yet can’t stay away from. Aoileann’s relationship with Rachel adds layers of complexity and emotional turmoil.

Squish.

The novel's climax reveals Aoileann's desperate attempts to reclaim her freedom, ending in a chilling act of liberation. The story blended realism and psychological horror into a poignant narrative that questions the nature of identity and survival.

Nothing.

Where I End is a terrific and terrifying exploration of familial ties, trauma, and how it affects the mind, and it left me with a lingering sense of unease and reflection on what it means to truly end.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for my copy of this book.


'Where I End' was a lot darker than I thought it would be. It tells the tale of Aoileann, a young woman living on a isolated island where half the town keep their distance from her. She, along with her grandmother, take care of her bed-ridden mother (who is unable to speak as well) while her father occasionally checks in from time to time.

White goes into harrowing detail about the daily ordeal of taking care of the "bed-thing" as Aoileann calls her mother and the toll it takes on her. This is all Aoileann has ever known and she never really has understood why her mother is this way. Over time, she ends up resenting her mother for the situation she has put them in - as none of the town know she is here (as they believe she had died some time ago).

At first I began to sympathise with Aoileann and her situation, given she has never left the island or been educated due to her home situation. The book takes a turn when artist Rachel moves to the island with her newborn baby and Aoileann begins to fixate on her - to the point where she develops an unhealthy obsession.

It is here that we start to see a darker side to Aoileann and this is when she becomes truly terrifying.

The first half of the book was a bit of a slow burn for me and I often wondered what it was all leading up to. Once Rachel's character was introduced - this is where it hooked me and inhaled the rest of the book to finally arrive at a grim end to the story.

This is my first book by Sophie White and I am definitely interested in reading more of her work after this.

Where I End is an oddly compelling, dark, and disturbing tale of isolation, family, obsession, and the ties that bind. I had a hard time putting this book while at the same time being a wee bit creeped out by it. The isolation, the shunning, the wetness in the air coupled with the obligation of caring for the "bed thing" makes for a sad existence for Aoileann.

Aoileann lives with her grandmother and her mother who she refers to as the 'bed thing' on an island that she has never left. Her father lives on the mainland and visits once a month. Aoileann wants to belong, to be liked, to have a friend, to be accepted. She has no friends so when she meets Rachel and her new-born baby Seamus on the beach, she becomes obsessed.

This is a dark book which is seeping with atmosphere. The isolated island off the coast of Ireland is a great setting for this dark book. The chill and salt in the air, the home on a cliff, the isolation, and the shunning from their fellow islanders make for a creepy gothic book. There are undercurrents of tension and dread which flow throughout the book. This is a book you don't read but you feel. It is unsettling, eerie, strange, and compelling.

If you are looking for a gothic and dark book, Where I End might be right up you alley.

Dark, riveting, hard to put down and gripping.

Where I End by Sophie White is an exceptional work of horror that delves deep into the human psyche and the twisted complexities of motherhood. Set against the backdrop of a bleak, isolated Irish island, White masterfully crafts an atmospheric and claustrophobic narrative that leaves readers disturbed, yet unable to look away.

I can’t say that I enjoyed this read, which is a really big compliment. The feeling of dread pervades every word, every phrase, every horrific image. Three women who are trapped in terrible circumstances, some of their own making, others just bad luck. The author doesn’t describe the desolation of an Irish island as much as transfers the images, like Gothic paintings, in the reader’s mind. An island steeped in superstition that has made Aoileann the symbol of a curse. She is trapped as her mother’s caregiver, with an unfeeling grandmother and the enmity of the whole village. Her mother is alive, but gone. She is a misshapen thing that Aoileann loathes. One day, a painter and her baby come from the mainland and change her world. But is it too late? The characters are not likable, relatable or easy to root for in any way, and yet I couldn’t stop reading. The text was making me queasy and I still had to know what was going to happen. Powerful images in a short novel that will give you nightmares and take you to a dark, dark place.
I chose to read this book and all opinions in this review are my own and completely unbiased. Thank you, NetGalley/Kensington Books | Erewhon Books.

A perfectly brutal and messed-up read for the start of the season of hauntings -highly recommended but absolutely not for the faint-hearted!

4 out of 5 stars!

Oh my lord. At first I thought “oh, this is just a dark little Irish story”. And then it turned horrific.
TW: child abuse, emotional abuse, pregnancy, murder, domestic violence.

Yikes on bikes, the MC was written to be something to pity and then it just took a turn for the worse. My eyes kept getting wider and wider and visibly cringed in certain spots.

This is written pretty uniquely. It was interesting reading actual Irish words in conversation and description and I’m so thankful that the author put translations in the back.

Thank you, NetGalley, for another great ARC

WOW. SOPHIE WHITE. I have wanted to get my hands on this book for so long, and was concerned that my expectations were too high. I worried I might be disappointed, but she blew me away. I really think this book is incredible. It is so well-written, and my goodness, so disturbing. When I thought the novel couldn't get worse, it did. I felt persistently uncomfortable. And yet, I could not put it down.

I'm not always a fan of horror about motherhood. I just don't connect and relate to the theme, so the book has to stand on its own, be incredible, and do a lot for me to get a 5 star rating. Where I End is one of the best horror novels I've read. As visceral and difficult as this book is to get through, it manages to be as beautiful as it is unsettling. I was constantly pausing over passages to appreciate the author's gorgeous writing.

This was one of the most haunting books I've read. Fair warning, this book is really bleak and discomfiting. Everyone I've spoken to felt uneasy and stressed reading Aoileann's descent into dark obsession and depravity. Save this book for a sunny day when you're mentally ready to be devastated. This one will stick with me; this is one of the few horror novels that I feel 'changed my brain chemistry'. I haven't read anything that really disturbed me while being a wonderful, effective read since To Be Devoured. It contains grotesque body horror if that is a way you like to be scared-- I personally do-- but the emotional weight is so much worse than the physical descriptions.

I very rarely have such a positive review for a novel that is on this level of disturbing. It actually upset me, and pushed my boundaries with its many miserable moments. I also think this is one of the best-written, most effective books I've ever read. I could say this book was TOO heavy and dreadful, but it was done so well and came together into such a powerful narrative that I can't criticize it. If you enjoy intense, weighted, claustrophobic, psychologically disturbing and repulsive horror, please read this. I needed to be in a comfortable and prepared state to read this one, and still think you should read it if you can handle the themes.

TWs for <spoiler>dehumanization of the disabled, ableism, horrible caregiver practices, confinement, chronic illness, child abuse, domestic abuse, physical abuse, mental and emotional abuse, neglect, torture, gore, excrement, vomit, and mental health struggles.</spoiler> This spoils a lot of what happens in the book, so only view these spoilers if you want to know all major trigger warnings and don't mind: <spoiler>death, murder, sexual assault, rape, psychosis, stalking, sexual violence, child death, self harm, suicidal ideation, suicide.</spoiler>

Many thanks to Kensington and specifically Erewhon Books and to Netgalley for allowing me to read this ARC. I received a digital Advanced Reader Copy to read in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.