Um, family horror? Sign me up! White's voice is devastating, and the she does such a great job exploring themes of isolation, oppression, and loneliness. A disturbing yet interesting read.

Where I End is a suffocating story of being trapped on an island, surrounded by people who hate you-including your family, and bottomless hopeless, rage. I feel as if I must be missing some cultural context, as I can't figure out why Aoileann is treated so poorly by her family and towns people. She was ostensibly the victim of her mother's mental illness, and at 6 weeks old incapable of being the mastermind behind her twins death. The only conclusion I can draw is that, perhaps, due to the forced isolation of her grandmother's home, the distant familial relationships, and the strain of caring for an ill mother she has to pretend doesn't exist, she was a weird kid that the islanders just felt uncomfortable around? It doesn't explain the terror characters exhibit when Aoileann approaches babies though. Either way, it becomes clear that she has not escaped the mental issues her maternal grandmother and mother labor under, which clearly would only be exacerbated by her treatment and isolation. The slow descent into psychosis brought on by Rachel, both an object of sexual desire and a symbolic mother figure is eerie and unsettling, while the physical abuse of the two most vulnerable characters at the habds of Aoileann provokes a visceral response of disgust and horror.

I was really excited for this book and while it was atmospheric and full of dread it was kind of slow.

I tried to get into this one, but I really struggled with the dialogue in the beginning. I am still really thankful to Kensington Books, Sophie White, and Netgalley for granting me advanced digital access to this one before September 24, 2024.

Aoileann has only ever really known a life of taking care of her mother, who is severely disabled... but also sometimes escapes in th middle of the night to make cryptic scratches on the floor. This would take a toll on anyone and, when Aoileann meets an artist new to the island, she is happy to ignore her responsibilities to spend more time with the artist. While I understand this is a horror book, it mostly just comes off as cruel for the sake of being cruel. The description of the "horror" elements of the mother being creepy was somewhat flat where it could have really been built up to enhance tension the reader felt. The conclusion to the psychological trauma the family was experiencing was left mostly to the end and felt kind of abrupt. I enjoyed reading it, the writing was good and the Irish elements were cool to learn about, but I think different pacing, especially at the end quarter, could have turned it it from a story I found interesting to a book I liked.

It's hard to write a review for this book in words when my actual reaction was an extended full body shudder paired with a sort of "eugh-ugghgh" gurgling noise upon finishing it and then, periodically afterward, whenever I thought about it. There are a lot of notes and acknowledgements in the back here and I tend to temper my expectations of pacing based on how much of the book is left, so it was startling when this ended sooner than I expected it to, because I was like "oh, huh" and then the full horror of it all hit me and I was like ohhhh my god.

There is so much visceral body horror in this book that you can't help but feel it; more than once it literally made my skin crawl. It is so dark and unnerving, with one of those close first-person POVs wherein you're with the narrator living in the only world they've ever known so every daily horror is normalized in a way you just kind of go along with until all of the horrors really start to pile up and then it's like haha umm oh fuck but you just CAN'T look away. Although admittedly I had to do some quick skimming at one point because it was too much for me. Papercutsss. 😩

Anyway, it was great. I'd recommend this to any fan of horror; although I'm not a huge reader of the genre this is nevertheless unlike any other horror novel I've ever read and I really dug it. It's on the shorter side, too, which felt perfect. Worth a few hours of your time if you'd like to feel deeply disturbed! 🥳

My thanks to Kensington Books | Erewhon Books and NetGalley for the ARC.

Where I End by Sophie White is a gothic horror novel set on a remote island off the coast of Ireland. Here we meet our narrator, a young girl Aoileann who lives on the island with her grandmother and bed ridden mother. It becomes clear quite quickly that the place is eerie, and Aoileaan is not quite right somehow.

Aoileann is forced to help take care of her mother and we learn about the gruelling process her and her grandmother go through each day to keep her alive. This is not done with kindness either, it is clear they both hold resentment for the ‘half life’ they’ve been sentenced too. Aoileann has also never been told how ‘the bed thing’ as she lovingly calls her, ended up in this condition, causing her a great deal of anger and confusion. She wants answers.

I enjoyed hearing the inner workings of Aoileanns mind and found her to be very interesting and well developed. Some of her actions, while strange, were completely believable. White definitely spent a lot of time figuring out this character and it shows.

I was very engaged at the beginning and wanting answers kept me reading. But by the time they came, they were a little lacklustre. A very strange, twisty, atmospheric book that dipped a little towards the end. This is a disturbing book, involving body horror, so be sure to take that into account.

Thank you NetGalley for my ARC.

respectfully, what the fuck.

Where I End hooks you to the page with its entrancing writing and stomach-churning plot, and now upon finishing it, I have no idea how to feel. What I do know however, is that this book was brilliantly paced, packing a punch in under 200 pages!!

Where I End follows Aoileann, who lives with her grandmother and takes care of the bed-thing, a wrinkled-up shell of a woman who happens to also be her mother, all while living in recluse near the edge of the island. Aoileann who's a little lost and so so sick of the bed-things gets enraptured by Rachel, an artist who recently moved to the island with her son, and by slowly creeping her way into Rachel's life, she finds the something she's been looking for all along.

this was sickening in the best way. The writing style reminds me of Motherthing by Ainslie Hogarth, very literary and so atmospheric, all while haunting you and keeping you glued to the pages. It was so good in a way that left you feeling icky afterwards, and I felt my stomach drop so many times throughout the book.

I highly recommend it if you can handle it, so check out trigger warnings prior! You are in for a ride.

Thank you to NetGalley and Kensington Publishing for a copy in exchange for an honest review!

There was definitely alot of hype with this book and I think it definitely Iived up to it. A dark, gothic story and very original. Yes, it's disturbing at times but its very well written and a throughly enjoyable read. Highly recommended xx

Okay this WILL stick with me...

I think I have a pretty high tolerance for nasty/disturbing/fucked-up-stuff but man, was I visibly grimacing most of the time reading this--the language and imagery is THAT grotesque and disturbing, it's incredible. So is it weird to say I enjoyed it? Probably. Anyway, without spoiling a ton, this was such an interesting way to explore motherhood and what it means to BE mothered (or...not). I never really read horror, but this makes me want to explore the genre even more.

thanks to NetGalley & the publisher for the eARC!

Disturbing at times but overall I found it entertaining. Full of twists and suspense that I didn’t expect. I recommend this if you’re looking for a thrilling ride!

Thanks to NetGalley for my ARC.

Where I End has glowing reviews online. I think I'm just not in the proper time of my life to really appreciate the writing style. I recognize the cold and haunting qualities of the book. Maybe I will revisit the story later when I'm in the mood for something like this.

I thought this had good atmosphere and there were a fair amount of disturbing things happening.

Where I feel it fell short was the pacing - the first half of this dragged quite a bit and by the time we started to get answers, the book was nearly over. The reveals happened in a very lacklustre way which took away from the dark mood of the book I felt.

That being said it was an intriguing, disturbing and dark read.

I actually don’t say this as often as I thought I did but - what the fuck did I just read?
NO REALLY, WHAT? I AM SO DISTURBED THAT I AM ALMOST GIGGLING. THIS IS AN INAPPROPRIATE RESPONSE.

This book gets 4.5 stars because I will never forget it and I think it has possibly hooked tiny gruesome claws under my skin that I’ll never get out, even if I shed my entire skin like a snake.

There might be some spoilers here because the words are falling out of me and I can’t help it.

Here was what I took from the little synopsis: poor teenage Aoileann (pronounced Eee-lin, I think) lives on a tiny island in a decrepit home with a basically comatose mother, and she is desperate for a real mother. When outsider Sarah and her newborn baby move to the island, Aoileann finally finds a family.

NO. THAT IS NOT IT. THAT IS NOT IT AT ALL. Aoileann is a budding psychopath and while yes, managing a parent (oh sorry, not a ‘parent’. She calls it ‘the bed-thing’) in that state is incredibly difficult and would be hard on any child, ONE DOES NOT SEW NEEDLES INTO HER MOTHER’S JAW SO SHE IS STUCK IN A PERPETUAL GRUESOME SMILE, or give her mother’s deformed hands papercuts and then POUR VINEGAR ON THEM JUST FOR FUN. ONE DOES NOT LEAVE HER MOTHER SITTING STARING AT A WALL FOR HOURS IN A NAPPY SO SHE CAN GO CREEPILY STALK A WOMAN AND THAT WOMAN’S BABY (and that’s a whole other thing, I can’t even).

Apologies for the caps. The thoughts in my brain are in capitals too right now.

The writing of this book as a whole is so visceral and haunting and I feel dread in the pit of my stomach even recounting it. Its so dark and Aoileann is like this malevolent ooze but formed of hatred mixed with some kind of vile sociopathic blankness.

If you don’t mind intensely visceral writing and fucked up characters and being CREEPED THE HELL OUT…… go read it.

I really enjoyed this one but wow did it strike every emotion in me. I am not crier but certain points of this book brought it out of me. I also felt anger circle up in pit of stomach. There's just so much happening and it all really pulls at your humanity.
There were some horrific moments in this book that I felt down to my core. A true bone chill. Then there are other moments that just tug at you in a really raw manner. It feels like it's under your skin just picking at you. I'm not sure where this book leaves but it will certainly stay with me for a long time.

3.5/5 Stars
Thank you NetGalley for the opportunity to get this ARC. I had never read anything from Sophie White before, and this was a very fascinating novel. If you like creepy books this is the one for you! I really enjoyed, makes you uncomfortable but at the same time you can't stop reading. I highly recommend you grab a copy this next October 2024, it would make a perfect Halloween reading!

3 Stars!

I really was not sure what to expect when I picked up Where I End by Sophie White. What I did know was that the book was a winner of the Shirley Jackson Award for Best Novel and was billed as gothic horror, so I was definitely intrigued and ready to slip into the darkness the book held within.

Aoileann only knew one way of life. She has never left the small island off the coast of Ireland, and that enough may seem like a lonely life for many. It was even lonelier for Aoileann. She could not go to school. She had no friends. She was completely shunned by everyone on the island except her family. Her family offers no support or even companionship. It is just her, her mother, and her grandmother. Making things even worse, her mother is a bed-ridden wreck of a person who does nothing for herself. Aoileann calls her the "bed-thing" and must do everything for her. It feels like she is in a prison from which there is no hope of escape. Then the artist and her baby come to the island, and nothing will be the same again.

When Aoileann met the artist, it was the first time in her life that anyone was kind to her. It is almost as if something has awakened within her for the first time and she is not ready to deal with the emotions she feels. The artist is a ray of light in her dreary existence, and she knows immediately that she loves her and that she must be with her. Unfortunately, darker emotions can be more powerful than love and the darkness of the island has crept into Aoileann's soul. The artist may turn out to be her redemption. Or Aoileann may end up being the artist's destruction.

Where I End certainly fits the bill of a dark, gothic novel. It is very dark from the very first page as the reader comes to know the "bed-thing." White does not immediately reveal what the thing is, that slowly unfolds over the course of the novel, but the reader can easily pick up the clues. This serves to make it all the more horrific as this shell of a person is such a non-entity that she does not even deserve any exposition. Aoileann is really the only clearly defined person in this novel. Everyone else seems to be more of an ideal with her family being the fog that surrounds her life and the artist a shining beacon of what can be. This lack of depth in the characters is not a detriment to the story. In fact, it adds to the atmosphere as Aoileann's confusion with the emotions she is experiencing is enhanced by the uncertainty in the world around her.

Where I End is a very dark coming of age story. It is a tale of emotional isolation and abuse carried out over years. Aoileann never had the chance to live. She was an outcast on the island and a servant in her home due to no fault of her own. Even her father treats her as if she is nothing when he visits from outside the home. It is easy for the reader to feel sympathy for her as the story progresses, but this does not mean that she is without faults. While the damage done to her, which is slowly revealed over the course of her story, may have shaped her, the reader comes to realize that Aoileann is capable of evil as well. The artist enters her life and gives her the means to escape and become something better, but the true tragedy of the story is whether or not Aoileann can take this opportunity or if she will turn it into more torment and sorrow for herself and others. There is also an element of whether evil is part of nature or nurture, and this question is left hanging as well. Where I End is not a perfect novel and can be difficult to read at times, but it is a novel that will make the reader think. I would recommend this book for readers who are looking for a challenge and who are not afraid to take a stark look at the dark side of human nature.

I would like to thank Kensington Books/Erewhon Press and NetGalley for this review copy. The new Erewhon Press edition of Where I End is scheduled for release on September 24, 2024.

Holy crap ... what did I just read?! That was the most f'd up, horrifying, subtly hostile, mess-with-your-head thing I've read in a long time.

A nineteen year old girl is raised on an island helping her paternal grandmother care for her extremely ill, bedridden mother. She knows her mother no other way. Just a purely nightmarish burden that requires turning, lifting, feeding, toileting, and bathing day after excruciating day. She doesn't even see her mother as a mother. She dehumanizes her, referring to her as the bed thing and It. She resents It. She loathes It. She tires of It. And as she begins to develop feelings for a visitor she meets at the beach one morning, she begins to experiment with acting out against It while simultaneously uncovering a dark secret that's haunted her for as long as she's been alive.

At first, you think you're just reading a coming of age story about a teenaged girl who's starved for friendship, who's been cooped up her whole life and kind of been forced to grow up too fast. But around the 100 page mark, you realize nope, that's not what you're reading. Because it took a turn I didn't anticipate and just kept getting darker and more messed up the further I read.

Where I End made me PHYSICALLY uncomfortable but I loved it. I'd be afraid to recommend it to people... but I loved it. And if you've read it, you'll understand why.

This is a revelation. From the first page the reader knows there is something very wrong with the narrator, a girl of about 19, who lives in a broken-down, remote cottage on a distant Irish island, with her grandmother and 'the bed-thing'. Although ostensibly a horror story, it is also a psychological thriller and investigation into the long-term damage of childhood trauma. Looking after the 'bed-thing' is all the narrator knows, never having been schooled, never having left the island, and totally ostracised and tormented by the other island dwellers. The horror builds and builds until the final page: will she, won't she? She is confused about her sexuality, drawn irresistibly to a young woman with a baby who is visiting the island as resident artist at a new museum soon to open, showcasing the life of the island - such as it was and is. There is consternation that this young woman seems to have befriended the narrator, as all the islanders take care to give her a wide berth. But why? I can't pretend this is an enjoyable read, but it is engrossing, well-written and propulsive, and I recommend it.

Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for this arc

I enjoyed the premise of the book and it definitely had me saying wtf alot, overall I had a fun time reading the book. 3.5 🌟