All I have to say is that this book never went where I was expecting it to, and I loved it! A must read!

It’s not often that a book gives me the chills but this one did. If you’re looking for a subtle scare then you should read this book. I love any book set in Ireland but especially those with a horror twist to it. Great read, will definitely be recommending to my fellow horror fans.

"Where I End" by Sophie White is quite a fucked up horror novel set on a remote Irish island. Our protagonist has grown up with her grandmother, shunned by the folks on the island. The two of them care for the protagonist's mother who has lost her mind and now is being moved around like a living corpse. This novel is quite disgusting, be warned.

While I can stomach horrors like that, what annoyed me the most about the book was how it tapped into Irish Island writing (which is its own genre) but shows never complexity nor respect. Of course the islanders speak Irish and are all monstrous. Of course the protagonist speaks Irish and her family has hidden her mother in the attic (I'm only half kidding) for almost two decades -- monsters! Of course this must be set on an Irish island because the island is evil! How very tiresome...

The queer awakening of the protagonist was cute, but given that she was presented as really evil, hurting a baby to curry favour with the mother she fancies, I overall think that monstrosity in this book did not connect well to the other topics.

I cannot say I really enjoyed reading large parts of the book because I was either disgusted or pitying the characters but it also felt unrealistic overall. Also weird coincidence but "The Old Knitting" factory is mentioned and something like that exists in Ireland now, a place where single mothers can connect to their kids and art. I found it a bit weird how it is then mentioned in here.

2.5-3 stars

A classic gothic story.
On an island off the coast of Ireland; where the ground is so rocky that you are unable to dig a grave, lives a young woman, Aoilean who has never stepped foot off it. She lives with her grandmother and together they look after Aoilean's ailing mother who is completely catatonic. This is all Aoilean has ever known; looking after "The Thing". However; when a young stranger, Rachel arrives on the island, Aoilean discovers an awakening
of dark desires inside herself.

I found this to be a bit slow; the minute details of every chore she had to do to look after her mother seemed unnecessary and a little repetitive. I also found the ending to be very rushed and lackluster considering how long and slow the built-up was.
I did enjoy the tension between Aoilean and her grandmother and found the mental changes she goes through to be very believable.
I recommend to someone who enjoys low-key gothic horror.

I received an arc from Netgalley. My review is completely voluntary.

Where I End is nothing short of a beautifully macabre masterpiece. It's raw, visceral, deeply emotional, wildy atmospheric, vivid, all consuming, bleak, eerie, and brilliant!

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Aoileann, a teen girl who is cast out and spit on by society- and continuously caring for an empty "bed-thing," is drawn to a newly arrived woman and her baby from the mainland. She begins to explore her own identity, sexuality, and past. She becomes obsessive, chaotic, and unsettling.

The drastic variation in the experience of each mother and their children is obvious, and yet they all hold this same deep, dark, and terrifying void within.
The many ideas and whisperings about the curses of the island from the superstitious islanders show the lack of interference from the outside world and the fear of it and all who come from it. It's more than a story about a barely existing, heavily neglected young woman, but about the bond of blood, and the ties that hold us back, whether it be land or sea or family.

Rachel exposes us to this extensive and personal view into motherhood, love, and loneliness. Aoileann bleeds trauma and loss and grief, while yearning for identity and freedom and answers. Dada and Morai are lost, delusional, empty... unable to let go of the past.

Mental illness, postpartum depression and psychosis are very real and clear in many of the characters. It's heartbreaking and disturbing to see their thoughts and actions. It's as if the suffocating island and its darkness and its crying invade everything and rot it from the inside out.

I absolutely loved this book.

4.5
Aoileann has lived her entire life on an island in a rundown, windowless house, with her aunt and their secrets. When a young artist and her baby come to the island, Aoileann insinuates herself into their lives.

This is a quick read despite a fairly slow pace. It’s compulsive and creepy and filled with a mounting dread that won’t let you put it down, even when you’re not really sure what exactly is going on!

It’s not quite a five-star read for me because (and perhaps you won’t agree with me here) I wanted it to end with much more of a bang! I thought the creeping mystery would have a better pay-off. Regardless, I still enjoyed it and recommend if you want something filled with sinister atmosphere.

This seems to be a complete departure from Sophie White’s other books, but I’ll gladly read more.

Thank you, NetGalley and Kensington Books.

Enjoyed is probably never going to be the way to describe the experience of reading this book. It is dark and uncomfortable and at times disgusting. But this is done so well by the author. I felt completely immersed in this story. It's a great horror novel.

There is a lot of abuse and neglect in this story. It was so rough to read about the ill-treatment and hatred of and by characters in this book. The first-person perspective in particular, made you feel complicit in some of the thoughts and actions of the protagonist, feeling disgust but also at the same time understanding the way in which her experiences have warped her way of relating to the world.

This book will give you quite a yucky feeling and is a tough read, but I thought it was excellent.

"After the freedom of sleep, I am once more confined to my life"

I was warned this would be unsettling, nonetheless I read on.

Where I End follows Aoileann, a young woman who assists her paternal grandmother in caring for Aoileann's invalid mother - whom she has nicknamed the 'bed-thing'. Aoileann has completely disassociated herself from her mother's condition and turned her into an object or as she says, 'a relic of a human', 'a nuisance', 'a chore'.

When a young artist in residence named Rachel arrives with her newborn child, Aoileann finds herself infatuated. Aoileann begins stalking Rachel, sneaking into her house at night, dreaming of a life with her - without the bed-thing and the baby to hold them back. Her desire for human connection, lacking in her own family, has created a monster within herself that even the townspeople fear.

Sophie White made the mundane aspects of everyday life, of caring for a family member who cannot care for themselves, into an absolutely unnerving nightmare.

Even considering all this, the book was a slow read for me and there were a few points I almost DNFed due to boredom and frustration. While I will not be getting the imagery of this book out of my head, I still didn't find it an enjoyable enough read to come back to or possibly even recommend.

If you’re a weird girly that lives for unrelenting dread in your books, this is the one for you!
This book feels like being in a fever dream. Things start off pretty bleak and somehow just continue spiraling into something worse. I was constantly oscillating between pity and disgust for all of the characters. Something about the setting and descriptors of the main character's mother screamed "When Evil Lurks" (the 2023 Spanish film) to me, and it made me all the more unsettled having that depiction in my head. The island in the story is a character itself, and it is maybe the most depraved one of all.
Despite how short this book is, some scenes were disturbing enough to make me have to step away for a bit. The actions of the main character and some of the descriptions certainly had me physically squirming in my seat more than a few times. At the end of the book, the author reveals the question that fueled the plot, and I think she does a fantastic job of exploring some really interesting angles of that question and really makes the story come full circle. As someone who has suffered from postpartum depression, it is horrific, and I think a horror novel is the perfect place to blend in some subtle social commentary on the matter, which the author did wonderfully.

Thank you so much to Kensington Books and NetGalley for the opportunity to receive an ARC of this book for review!

I don't know where to start with this review - it was one of the finest books i have ever read and that is saying a lot.
The style of writing is truly unique and just wonderful. This book is just magnificent. I read it in a few hours.
It was heartbreaking but beautiful. Highly recommended.

Where I End by Sophie White is a deary, creepy, dark, disturbing book that is more unsettling then horror. The atmosphere is dark and isolated, making it a sad depressing tale. It had very creepy vibes throughout but I thought it was more sad than horrific. I don't understand the characters motivations in this story. I feel like the whole thing could have been avoided if they had communicated properly. Where I End is more about family dysfunction than horror.

Thanks for NetGalley, Kensington Books, and Erewhon Books for the advanced copay of the book. The opinions are my own.

4.5 stars

"Back then I willed her to move or speak. I rubbed my face in her hair and put my arms around her stiff, intractable body. I pulled her unwilling arms around me. She was an island and I was trying to claim her."

This book is in the top three most disturbing books I've ever read. So heavy, so dark, and so very effective. This is the kind of story that you really need to be in the right head-space to read. I finished this book at night and it was hard to wait until morning to go out into the sunshine to shake some of it off.

I would describe the vibes as this: If "We Have Always Lived In the Castle" by Shirley Jackson and "Bad Ronald" by Jack Vance got together and created a Frankenstein monster of a book, it would be this. I am very glad I read the author's note prior to starting the story, it helped ground me in what was happening, at least somewhat. The story is told from the point of view of the main character throughout, and her head is a dark and scary place to be. Initially, As the plot unfolds, things just get more and more strange until things finally come together for an ending that was horrifying in so many ways.

The issues of motherhood, post-partum mental health issues, and caregiving for a profoundly compromised individual were the focus of the narrative and I admit that some of that subject matter was hard to take in. As a mother, some of the more intense scenes involving infants had me taking a breather and walking away for a bit before diving back in. The author used these issues to further the horror without becoming disrespectful, in my opinion.

Overall, I would recommend this to anyone looking for a dark, heavy, gothic horror story but look for trigger warnings to be sure this is for you. As for me, there are a few scenes that will live rent-free in my head for the rest of my days, most specifically the method the mother used to leave her marks on the floor and the image of the mother with her babies on the beach. Egads, I just got a chill.

Where I End, by Sophie White, is one of the better horror novels I’ve read in months. Set on a suffocating island, we’re shown once again that the true horror is people.

Where I End is a disturbing and haunting story about motherhood and mental health, but told in a way you don’t usually hear. We follow Aoileann who lives on a small Irish island together with her grandmother and the ‘bed-thing’. The island inhabitants are very superstitious, and for reasons unknown to Aoileann they all seem to hate her, or maybe they’re even scared of her? We follow her story as she begins to figure out why.
Then one day she stumbles upon Rachel; an artist and new mother who is visiting the island for work. Rachel is the first person Aoileann has met that doesn’t spit on the ground or cross the street when they see her. Aoileann becomes more and more obsessed with Rachel, and she finds she’d do anything to get Rachel all to herself.

I absolutely loved this story. It talks about mental illness, postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis in an honest and raw way. The author isn’t afraid to get real grisly and gross, and while many parts are very much a “WTF did I just read”-moment, I think it’s important not to sugarcoat these things or pretend it doesn’t happen. Mental illness of any kind isn’t cute and pretty, it’s ugly and raw and brutal. I can’t even begin to count all the times I was sure I was clinically insane because I never knew other people shared my feelings and experiences. Sharing the ugly parts and talking about them is extremely important, as is evident in this book when Aoileanne’s mother isn’t taken seriously when she tries to talk about the thoughts she has.
I also find it very interesting that we get this story from the POV of the child of a mother dealing with postpartum psychosis, which is an angle you don’t get to see often enough.


Thank you to the author and Kensington Books for this ARC!

I could not put this book down. And I can't stop thinking about it now that I have finished. I think I read the whole thing with this disgusted, horrified look on my face...and absolutely loved it. I think part of what I loved, part of what made it so intense, was that it was real. Like this could actually happen and that is horrifying to think about. If you like body horror this one might be for you. I don't want to say too much as I don't want to ruin the experience, but it was a great read.

Thanks to NetGalley, the author and the publisher for an advanced copy of this book

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for allowing me to read this ARC of Sophie White’s ‘Where I End’.

Hmmmm so I’m not even sure how to review this book. I am a huge fan of the horror genre, but yet this didn’t quite feel like horror to me. If anything, I would say it was unnerving, uncomfortable, unsettling; all the synonyms. Which, I suppose, could be considered horror to some.

I can’t say I enjoyed or didn’t enjoy this book. I almost DNFed this book, but keep trudging through and it did definitely pick up towards the end.

I feel like I have a lot of unanswered questions with this novel. I would have liked some details on how the bed-thing exactly fell into that position. I do know they mention it, but I’d like details. It really doesn’t all line up to me. The monster is the island? Or the monster is the islanders?

Either way I’d say an interesting read to discuss and pick apart for different theories.

What a magnificently disturbing nightmare of a story!
You know what else is magnificent here? A reminder that people CAN surprise you. I mean, I would have never selected this book solely based on the romcom garbage the author had churned out before. But lo and behold, she turns around (a full 180) and produces this darkness-personified of a story—a portrait of psychopath as a young woman, if you will.
Actually, I selected this book based on its award-winning status and praise from respectable sources. And yeah, totally worth it. A one-sit read, a mesmerizingly, viscerally disturbing book.
It pulls you into its darkness slowly. The first 20% or so it just descriptions of the island where the story takes place—this is very much as location-as-character story. We don’t meet Rachel, the character who becomes a sort of catalyst for the plot until nearly 30%. The thing is, the author absolutely has the chops to work with a leisurely pace; her descriptions are cinematically vivid. The island comes to life as a forbidding rock populated by narrow-minded, superstitious, insular people who shun the protagonist, Aoileann, and have done so for all her nineteen years on earth.
She has never left the island, never been to school, all she knows of the world is what she’s read in books. Aoileann’s entire life is dedicated to (with her grandmother) taking care of her mother who has been in a vegetative state more or less since Aoileann was born.
This care is described in exhaustive, visceral detail to show you just how much of a nightmare the situation is. To make matters worse (and give the situation a slightly surreal atmosphere),at night, her mother apparently crawls around, etching letters into the floor with her bare fingers.
When Rachel (with her newborn) shows up on the island for a temporarily artistic residency, Aoileann sees a window into a larger world open and grabs at it for dear life. It becomes a sort of toxic obsession where she can’t quite tell if she wants Rachel for a lover or a mother, but she wants Rachel and will stop at nothing to get her.
Absolutely harrowing journey into a warped mind. Very well done.
It seems the story had been reworked and expanded from the original, going by descriptions alone, and more importantly, it works. Sure, yeah, it checks A LOT of the current gotta-have-it boxes along the way: a tale of motherhood, mothers/daughters dynamics, reverential treatment of body fat, queer tones, etc. but it does so in a way that never seems gratuitous and really works within the story.
It isn’t a fun read by any means, nor will it work for everyone, but it would be a deranged delight for connoisseurs of dark psychological fiction. Recommended. Thanks Netgalley.

Where I End is scarily not politically correct. The bedridden mother is called a bed-thing and treated as a soulless burden. The protagonist is called a soul-stench but casually mentions her many rapes as a child by the repulsed but sexually aroused island men. The book’s entire mood is distasteful. But this is visceral horror, it is meant to be disgusting. And the author succeeds more than I expected. This is a novel that lingers. I read it weeks ago and still it rests uneasily in my mind, and in my heart. To say I didn’t like Where I End is a gross understatement. But it did arouse strong emotions in me, which is rare in the wide ocean of books I read each year. So, I give this book 5 stars though I only recommend it if you are willing to live with it forever stuck in your psyche.

Thanks to Erewhon Books and NetGalley for a digital review copy of the book.

Unsettling is definitely the word I would use to describe this book.

It’s not horror in the sense of a slasher or the paranormal, but man the characters were all messed up. Also I felt like I wasn’t 100% sure what was going on at times, but it kept my attention enough to continue to the end.

Many thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for the eARC.

This was an amazing piece of creepy, disturbing, gothic Irish literature. It made me feel uncomfortable in places, always on edge, which I think was the point. And if it was on purpose, it was done superbly. You try to feel for the main character but it is hard to do. White's writing style was smooth, and the language used was clever without being overdone or too much. This was a great book and a story that will stay with you long after you put it down.