Where I End by Sophie White was a dark read. I could NOT put the book down. It hooks you right from the very beginning. The story takes place on an island where 19 year old Aoileann and her grandmother live secluded from others on and caring for Aoileanns mother who is ill. The author is not clear on what illness she has but the mother doesn’t speak and only moves at night. Aoileann longs for a mother’s love but knows her mother cannot give her what she needs. She meets a woman who’s new in town and becomes obsessed with her. Things take a very dark turn.

Wow! I finished this book in a single day because it was that intriguing. Dark and disturbingly good.

Alone and devoted to caring for her sick mother, Aoileann struggles to live a normal life. After all, she isn’t considered normal. She is shunned by the people of her island as well as her own family. Her days consist of constant care and minimal socializing. When a small time artist, Rachel comes to the island for a gif at the local museum, Aoileann finds herself obsessed with her and her newborn baby Seamus. Aoileann has never felt human connection like this and she struggles to understand her own feelings. She knows one thing for certain, nothing will get in the way of her seeing Rachel again, not even her baby.

My brief synopsis doesn’t do this book justice. This book is intense and at times extremely uncomfortable to read. (In a good way)

I love how the author explores themes of sexuality, familial ties and human emotions.

There were times when I was completely grossed out and other moments where my heart felt in my stomach. This book will bring out multiple emotions.

Perfect for fans of psychological horror as well as familial horror. Also perfect for anyone who deal with sick family members and the countless hours of work it takes to care for them.

Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC of Where I End.

I'm always up for a spooky, horrifying tale and the premise did lure me in with dark promises such as that.

Horror is subjective; what's scary to you may not be scary to me.

Some things we can all agree is scary, but I didn't think the premise is scary.

Aoileann is cursed. She takes care of her invalid mother every day, with lives with her grumpy grandmother.

The three of them live unhappily on the remote island off the coast of Ireland where the locals harbor deep superstitions and beliefs from olden days. She has no friends and never gone to school.

Her mother's current state is a family secret, never discussed, but it's hard to dismiss her when Aoileann and her grandmother are responsible for the “bed-thing.”

Aoileann’s has never left her home and most likely never will.

Until she meets an artist named Rachel and this new vibrant, lush woman awakens feelings in Aoileann she has never felt before.

To be loved, Mothered, Parented. To be in love.

Soon, Aoilean's fascination with Rachel turns into deep obsession, leading her down a dark path that will unearth secrets behind her mother's tragic existence and what the future holds for herself.

First, being the caretaker for an invalid or sick person is horrifying.

The caring, feeding, washing, it's tedious, time consuming, mind numbing and heartbreakingly sad.

Second, being a parent, much less a mother ain't what it's cracked up to me, no matter what our patriarchal society wants women to keep believing.

It's not easy being a parent, and it's never easy to be a mother. It's a role you can't prepare for and it never ends. Never.

The writing is great, but the style and format was confusing, distracting.

The narrative is tedious and repetitive, filled with wordy passages and metaphors about Aoileann's home and island, though it set the mood and atmosphere of isolation and segregation.

I understand (at least I hope I d0) the point of listing all the tedious and gruesome tasks that made up Aoileann's day was to demonstrate how quickly being a caretaker wears anyone down, regardless of age and gender and time period.

The ambiguity behind why Aoileann's and her family is cursed is hinted upon and partly left to the reader's imagination, which I liked, though I wanted more clues.

The story was disturbing and horrifying because it reminded me of how terrible humans can be to each other and to themselves.

Aoileann and her grandmother live on a small, windswept island off the coast of Ireland. They care for Aoileann’s mother who is bedfast and doesn’t speak as the result of some tragedy.

Then Rachel and her fussy baby appear on the island and offer Aoileann a hope that things could be different. What secrets does the island hold?

Spooky? Yes. And a great setting. I’m just not sure I got everything. Or maybe I did.

"Where I End" unfolds as an intensely disquieting yet exquisitely rendered narrative, delving into the daily horrors experienced by Aoileann, an isolated and stunted teenager. The tale also explores themes of motherhood, the private tribulations individuals endure, and the nuanced distinctions between living, surviving, and mere existence.

Residing in the remotest reaches of a small and inhospitable island, Aoileann finds herself cut off from the local community. Her paternal grandmother wields authority, her shattered father flits in and out, and her bed-bound, silent, and staring mother—what remains of her—adds an eerie presence. As survivors of a catastrophic event, they are paradoxically cast as outcasts despite being natives of the island.

Aoileann's routine revolves around caring for her mother, involving themes of sick care, detailed wounds, and an unsettling sense of body horror, all while occasionally escaping for solitary sea swims. Her life takes a turn when she encounters Rachel, a newcomer to the island, and her newborn son. Aoileann is immediately drawn to Rachel's feminine form and the nurturing aspect of her body. Driven by an overwhelming need for love, the story intensifies with a dark and sinister undercurrent.

This is a commanding, relentless, and disconcerting novel, incorporating horror elements reminiscent of Angela Carter and Shirley Jackson, with echoes of fellow Irish writer Sue Rainsford. The words in the narrative probe, poke, and nestle, and while the story's grotesqueness may deter some, I found it breathtaking. An intelligent, intense, and visceral read—undoubtedly one of the most captivating books I've encountered in quite a while.

There are many creepy moments in this book and moments that I found very strange but overall I enjoyed reading it.

My mother. At night, my mother creaks. The house creaks along with her.
Through our thin shared wall, I can hear the makings of my mother gurgle through her body just like the water in the walls of the house...
Teenage Aoileann has never left the island. Her silent, bed-bound mother is a wreckage, the survivor of a private disaster no one will speak about.
Aoileann desperately wants a family, and when Sarah and her three young children move to the island, Aoileann finds a focus for her relentless love.
A horror story about being bound by the blood knot of family.

A horror novel that geniusly captures the possible horrors of motherhood. scary, suspenseful and utterly entertaining. A bit different from my usual horror novel tastes but I very much was glad I gave it a chance. 3.5 - 4 stars:)

I loved that the author is being honest and how the idea of writing this book came up in the author’s mind. The book is grim, reminiscing and atmospheric . Island make people do things and reading about Moira gave me atmospheric vibe. I felt sad for Aoileann and Rachel. This felt like a memoir or reading inner monologue. I liked the setting of a small irish island. Reading about Aoileann’s Mother made me sad. Rachel is an artist who arrives on an island with her newborn and Aoileann is currently living with her grandmother. The author slowly unveils the secrets of her mother and whispering secrets only Aoileann can hear. The author has described the true horror of a mother and daughter. I liked how happy Dadda made Aoileann while her mother was a mystery and her mystery unraveled at the end. This modern gothic story is infused with secrets, curse, fear, resentments and dark obsession.

This book was good, but maybe a little too odd for me to absolutely love it. I think I am still processing what I read.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for this ARC in exchange for my honest review!

This was a strange little story. Full of trauma and a girl who wants love no matter what. This is also a good amount of disgusting and disturbing without being too much.

I’m not sure how to review this because there’s so much going on. I’m not sure if I see Aoileann as a villain. She is so trapped and unhappy and the way she is treated by her family and her community would have me over the edge as well. Of course she’d latch onto the first person who would be nice to her and treat her like she wasn’t a monster.

The “curse” part of this was so bizarre. Nobody could interact with Aoileann and they wouldn’t let her get near them because she was cursed. I didn’t really understand that. The ending was trying to explain it but I still didn’t understand all the way. Not even Aoileann knew why everyone hated her. Nobody would talk to her.

Aoileann just craved loved. From her mother & another person. The way she hated her mother and couldn’t even call her that and referred to her as “it” and “the bed thing” that ruined her life and tormented her is very reflective of individuals who have to be cared for by their families. Aoileann has had to since she was a child and has never known her mother to be normal, so the resentment building up is understandable. She just wants to be free and can’t.

The ending was both heartbreaking and weirdly relieving. Rachel is Aoileann‘s savior and I don’t know whether that’s good or bad for them. It could end horribly.

I wanted to read this book because of the Shirley Jackson award win and it was very unique and kept my attention. I learned a lot about the Irish language as well as different Irish superstitions. You get a sense of being trapped while reading the story. Trapped on a tiny island in a tiny house where a girl is slowly going insane taking care of her mother and not being able to interact with the outside world. Her father only comes to the island once a month to check on them and her grandmother lives in the house with her but is distance and unaffectionate with her. She is nearly 20 and grows to hate the village and hate her family. She is unwelcome in her own home as well as everywhere else. A newcomer to the island is the only one who is kind to her. A woman with a baby. Aoileann has so much love to give them that she can’t give anyone else.