This is a short memoir that packs a powerful punch. A great addition to the me too genre, from a wonderful writer and thinker.

There are flashes of insight and beauty in this spare, skillfully written memoir. The love between the author and her husband is palpable; it shines through every page, in the quiet moments especially. I can feel her desire to protect him clash with her objective to critically examine the age gap and balance of power in their relationship. But she doesn’t seem to be interested in answering any of her own questions, though she poses some good ones. I almost hesitate to say that as criticism, because the long and short answer to all of those questions is “it’s complicated,” and while the answers are important for us as a culture to grapple with, in the context of this relationship they feel very much beside the point.

I think that neither the title nor the description of this book accurately reflect its most compelling revelations. This is the story of a long and successful marriage, distinct in its challenges and the sheer unlikelihood of it all, but not unfamiliar in its dynamics. This is not the typical experience of teenage girls who marry men 30 years their senior, obviously. I would have enjoyed it more if I hadn’t spent half the book expecting a more critical examination of memory in memoir or of age and consent, rather than a singular story of the very rare May-December relationship that actually works out in the end.

I first stumbled onto Jill Ciments writing after a watching a review on instagram by Ann Patchett for the book Heroic Measures. I actually read The Body in Question first and then devoured her other books. This second memoir was so interesting after reading her first and all of her books.

I enjoyed Jill Ciment’s other work and the premise of Consent had me intrigued. It still does, although I do not know what I think about what the book wants us to confront. Ciment reflects on her decades long marriage to a man 30 years her senior. He started dating her when she was his teenaged student. (Her mother’s reaction to finding this out was troubling; it seemed like she just accepted it.). The relationship was a good one (which she wrote another memoir about when she was younger), but Ciment examines it in the context of Me Too and our society today. I’m not sure where I land on this. It is her marriage and she’s happy. So be it. But, it’s a crime at the same time and a little gross. Ciment was obviously looking for the daddy figure in her life, and she found him. That they stayed married is really the novel thing here.

I should have read her original memoir first. <spoiler>It was sad to hear her rethink her long-term marriage, which appeared to be happy, and come to another conclusion.

Just finished this book. It’s very good. Ciment writes with the goal to understand rather than to sensationalize and I found that approach very appealing. This is not to say that she shies away from difficult matters; rather she wrestles with moral difficulties in what I thought was a very even-handed and nuanced way.

Jill Ciment's "Consent: A Memoir" is an introspective and thought-provoking examination of a love story that challenges modern sensibilities. The memoir delves into the author's relationship with her painting teacher, which began in the 1970s when she was a teenager and he was a married man with two children. Ciment revisits her 1996 memoir, "Half a Life," with a critical eye, questioning the dynamics and power imbalances of their relationship in light of contemporary understanding.

The memoir is compelling and candid, offering a nuanced reflection on love, consent, and the evolving perspectives on relationships with significant age differences. Ciment's writing is poignant and unflinchingly honest, capturing the complexity of her emotions and the intellectual growth that accompanied her unconventional marriage, which lasted until her husband's death at age ninety-three.

While some readers might seek more extensive exploration of the titular issue of consent, Ciment provides enough food for thought to spark meaningful discussions. The memoir succeeds as both a personal narrative and a case study, questioning the morality and ethics of relationships formed under significant power imbalances. It invites readers to grapple with these issues, recognizing that the answers are rarely straightforward.

"Consent: A Memoir" is a fascinating read, offering a rare glimpse into a long-lasting marriage that defies easy categorization. Ciment's ability to intertwine her personal journey with broader societal questions makes this memoir a valuable and engaging contribution to the genre.

A short but thoughtful look at the age difference between the author and her professor husband who met when she was seventeen. I first heard of this author from Ann Patchett. A recommendation that I enjoyed led me to this work of nonfiction. A difficult subject to explore whether your husband was a predator if young girls in the hyper awareness of the subject. Ciment's husband is deceased and she doesn't go easy in this reexamination of the early days of their relationship and the role act hey played in their own Lolita. Ciment's background as an aspiring artist is interesting and relates to her fiction. I can trust Ann Patches in this new to you author. Thanks, Ann.

Copy provided by the publisher and Netgalley

This is in part a memoir of a memoir. Another part is the end of what Ciment calls "an April-December" relationship that she had with her husband who was a generation older. I really enjoyed The Body in Question which I read a few years ago. This book had lovely writing, but the idea of consent was either underdeveloped or not central to the memoir. In today's climate, the relationship would cause pause, but that idea is not explored in depth. It is still an intriguing writing exercise both to examine a previous memoir and to look at how society viewed the relationship which lasted for more than 40 years.

Amazing to read this right after her earlier memoir, Half a Life. There’s much more context here, and I feel like I understand her and her relationship with Arnold better. I still don’t know what to think of the forming of the relationship (does that many years of marriage make up for the age difference, that she was a teenager when they first kissed?) but I’m satisfied. Thank you to netgalley!

Incredibly nuanced, brave and tender, all at once.
I’ve possibly never before read something so unflinchingly honest about the inevitable outcome of falling in love—one day, you will have to watch them die.
I finished in bed, next to my partner, and immediately sobbed into my hands.
What a privilege to have an author like Jill. To celebrate a novel like this enter the world.

This was a quick read that interrogated and analyzed the author's relationship with her life partner, a man decades older than her who was formerly her art teacher. The relationship began in the 1970s when she was 16 and he was 47 and played out as any traditional marriage or long-term partnership would. "Consent" also looks back on Ciment's "Half a Life: A Memoir," an earlier book which includes the relationship, parsing through fact, fiction and sometimes unreliable memories to draw out a larger, more true story. The result is a book that is not salacious — no romanticizing of the "age-gap" — or regretful. The author is clear-eyed about the perceptions and realities of being a much-younger woman partnered with an older man, and simply shares the details of her experience for the reader.

Thanks, NetGalley and Pantheon for sharing a reader copy in exchange for my honest review.

Beautifully written, provocatively thoughtful, this memoir was a surprise. I read it quickly, captivated by the writer's inquisitive voice delving into her own story -- I was curious alongside her to sort out why she did what she did. On the surface, it does seem sordid, but in the end it read like a true love story. It was definitely a peek back into a different time and often I found myself thinking this could never happen now (at least not legally). I didn't want to like the characters, and yet they charmed me. There is so much to discuss here beyond the story itself-- like the authenticity of the writer and how it changes with time. As your perspective shifts, so does your story.

Loved this memoir so much. What a moving end. A great study for budding memoirists, too. Loved it and look forward to talking with Jill on my podcast, Writers on Writing.

I was very excited to read this because I had read her first memoir about her childhood and early marriage to her much older art teacher and then I had read that she was revisiting that during after looking at things a different way after his death and the #metoo movement.

It was short but it didn’t disappoint. I would have liked a tiny bit more reflection at the end, I felt like it ended abruptly but it was interesting how she looked at her memory and what was truthful and what might have been just how she wishes things were or thought in the moment.

Jill Ciment has written a raw intimate memoir sharing her love affair that began when she was a teenager.He was her art teacher a married man with two children.and their love affair consumed their lives.Jill Ciments writing has always drawn me in this revealing story of her personal life is a shocking read so well written a brilliant read.#netgalley #consent

Excellent Book! Very meaningful story of raw truth. I have read many memoirs. Jill Ciment lets the reader into her unique life with such honesty. What was clever as she recounts her past addressing the inaccuracies of memory, boldly admitting this to the reader. As her age at different times the author has to revisit details as her younger self. I found to be transparent and brutally honest. I have read The body in question. Which is one of my favorite books, that I recommend. I’m so glad I got an early opportunity to read this one! Thank you.

Different.
Thanks to author, publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read this book. While I got the book for free it had no bearing on the rating I gave it.

Jill Ciment is brutally honest and reflective in the best of ways.
It’s a memoir I won’t forget.
I had read “The Body in Question” … and loved it…
I had been planning on reading more by Jill…
and now having read “Consent”, I plan to read everything she has published…. and soon!
I love her!!!

“Consent”, is deeply personal …and I was glued to it.
At only 160 pages long — I hesitate to say much — but I highly recommend it …
As a woman myself - almost 72 years of age -I did a lot of soul looking into my own past….as I read “Consent”.

It’s such a brilliant book — really brilliant…. It needs to be experienced… (I plan to read it again)
Jill’s asked some very real deep questions….
taking a good hard look at the choices she made, or situations she found herself in three decades ago and compares them to today.
She reevaluates her decades long marriage to the 47-year-old man she met when she was seventeen, revisiting, a singular passion, in the 21st-century aftermath of me too.

I’ll leave this one quote to think about….(person read it several times)…
“Does a stories ending excuse its beginning? Does a kiss in one moment mean something else entirely five decades later? Can a love that starts with such an asymmetrical balance of power ever right itself?”

5 strong stars!!!

I am drawn to books just like Consent. When I read the description, I knew I would enjoy it. Well, I loved it! Ciment did a great job telling her story about the attraction she had with her much older art teacher and the life that she has with him. I found it to be a quick story and one that I didn't want to put down. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.