Shame on You by Melissa Petro is a powerful memoir of a former sex worker navigating the fallout of her past. It begins with her resignation as a New York City teacher and ends with her finding stability in motherhood and a supportive marriage. While the book explores shame through Brene Brown’s work and interviews, these sections feel less compelling than Petro’s personal story. Still, it’s an engrossing read—I finished it in a day and highly recommend it.

Felt like a Brene Brown research paper. MUCH more memoir heavy and just never felt like it made any interesting points. Not what I was expecting and could have definitely used a deep edit.

Shame on You: How to Be a Woman in the Age of Mortification by Melissa Petro is a sharp, witty, and thought-provoking examination of the complex relationship women have with shame in contemporary society. Drawing on personal experiences, cultural analysis, and insightful social commentary, Petro delves into how women are often conditioned to internalize shame, whether through societal expectations, gender roles, or public scrutiny.

The book offers a refreshing blend of humor and candor, using memoir-style anecdotes to highlight the various ways in which women are made to feel inadequate, invisible, or guilty for simply existing in a world that often seems designed to make them feel less than. Petro’s exploration of topics like body image, sexuality, and the pressures of “being a woman” in a world obsessed with perfection is both relatable and empowering.

While the book is full of sharp insights and a voice that resonates with honesty, it occasionally feels repetitive in its criticism of societal norms, and some readers may find that its central arguments could have been more deeply explored. Nonetheless, Shame on You is a compelling read for anyone interested in feminist discourse or the complex ways in which shame shapes the female experience. Petro’s ability to blend personal narrative with larger social critiques makes this a valuable and enjoyable read for those looking to understand how women can reclaim their power in an often unforgiving world.

An in depth examination of what shame is and how it is weaponized, especially against women.

This was a powerful read. I don’t think I’ve ever really come to terms with the things I feel shame about, the things I don’t actually have my control over. All of the stories shared show that none of us alone, that there is community to find & create to support each other. & I always love a book that gives me more books to read.

This was an intense read, and I definitely had to take it in small chunks, but it was well worth the read. This does deal with some tough topics like abortion, post partum depression, suicidal thoughts, and sexual abuse.

Thanks to NetGalley and PENGUIN GROUP Putnam for this arc.

Shame on You is part memoir & part investigative journalism. Each chapter was broken into several subsections which allowed me to pick up this book and read it in small, digestible chunks. Petro’s story is not a light one so being able to dive in at my own pace was very much appreciated.

Melissa Pietro’s book Shame On You is an important book a book that women will relate to learn from and empathize with those who have been shamed.Perfect for discussing with book clubs women's groups &college classes.#netgalley #penguinputnam.

Wow. This book was different. I like a book that challenges, and this one did. It made me think, it made me angry (in a good way), and it made me want to do more to challenge myself further. I like that it made me think about things differently and question my own reactions to things. I wanted more when I finished, which was refreshing. Solid 4.

I hoped this would be more broad, and there was a lot of good commentary and ideas in here. Overwhelmingly I found the book to be mostly about the author's experience being shamed for being a sex worker and losing her teaching job after it was exposed. Definitely there are things that are universal about shame, but this lens of what happened to her was so specific I had a hard time finishing the book.

I connected with a lot of this book, and I found Petro's writing to be really nuanced and well written. I think this is a good book for anyone of almost any age to read and better understand the role shame plays with women today.

I spend a lot of time online. It is how I got to know most of my friends before we started getting coffee together or attending events. It is also a toxic place where people try to shame women for simply existing. We have men calling us fat and women telling us we are bad wives and mothers. We have people who are insecure calling out perceived issues in our marriages. Lately it is has been worse as we are on the brink of (hopefully) electing our first woman president.
I connected with the women in this book. I get it. They use shame to keep us in our place and it makes people mad when we just feel confident.
Thank you for the ARC. I loved it.

The book seemed to be of more substance from the book blurb and somehow it didn’t fully live up to the expectations the book’s description had set.
Yet it was a good read. This most definitely goes on the list of my recommendations for feminist / psychology reads of this year’s releases.

The premise to this nonfiction work sounded right up my alley, but unfortunately I didn't connect with it. A lot of it was very geared towards moms, so I couldn't really take anything from those sections.

I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I really loved a lot of this book. As a woman, shame can absolutely feel built in to the whole female experience. I think what I loved most of this book is just the feeling of being seen and understood - everything is worse when you feel like the only one. For that alone, I give this book four stars.

However, and perhaps this is my own fault, I find that pop psychology books never really land for me, and this one didn't either. It just leaves something more to be desired. Maybe more science? More theory?

Overall, 3.5 rounded down to 3.

Gives vibes of other modern feminist writers. More memoir here than I was initially expecting and maybe less anchored.

I'm not a big social media or Internet news person, so I actually had not heard of Melissa Petro or her experience being outed as a former sex worker. I found her personal story to be the most engaging part of this book. I'm not a self-help reader, and definitely got a self-help vibe in a number of places here. Petro tackles a lot of things in this book, and that's where I think I struggled stay connected to it. Her voice is easy and engaging but the whole thing felt somewhat scattered, like having a conversation that veers off into 17 directions in the course of half an hour. It's not a bad thing, but it does make for a somewhat disjointed single-sitting read. I had an easier time with this one in smaller bites. Her central point about the role of shame in controlling behavior was well taken though, and certainly timely.

Through personal stories and the anecdotes of real women, Petro explores how the concept of shame has permeated every day life for many women and those who don't identify as the majority. I really sympathized with many of the stories and I appreciate how Petro's tapestry of shame helps the reader feel not so alone and isolated.

As a woman, I found many of the stories and ideas in this book very relatable, and the information easily digestible. I finished it quickly, in a couple of days, and appreciated the many angles of shame this writing covered. While it does have sprinklings of the author's own story, it sits directly alongside investigative facts and the stories of other women as well.

This is where the book could have been better organized: sometimes one person's story would be told, then another's, then it would jump back to the first one and I found myself becoming confused. The author tells her own story throughout, it's broken up between the chapters and paragraphs, something I would have appreciated reading all at one time to get a full overall picture and not having to piece it together from memory, because trying to find the place to look for the previous part of her story was impossible.

Despite the structure of the book, I feel it contains some powerful points and as a woman or mother, or someone seeking to better understand where another is coming from, it is certainly worth a read.

I had no idea how much shame I actually had in my day to day life until I read Shame on You. What a brilliant book, it caused me to look inward and try to figure out where any and all of the shame I feel comes from. The writing is bare, honest, and asks us to unearth the feelings we've repressed to ask what the fuck we have to be ashamed about.

"I thought this was really well written and I look forward to reading more from this author in the future. I think it will find readers at our library, so we will definitely be purchasing for the collection.

“You are a body first,…..and your body is not yours alone.”

Shame on You by Melissa Petro is a novel focusing on the world of shame that women deal with on a daily basis. Shame is heaped on women from the moment they are young, and the older they grow, more of its is forced into their lives. Petro discusses shame in the many forms it comes in this novel. From the moment women are born, shame is involved with their bodies. Modesty, making sure we are covered properly. As we grow older, not only is shame connected to modesty, but it becomes connected with aging, motherhood, wife-hood, sexuality.

Petro connects these themes of shame with her own experiences, starting with when she lost her job as a teacher due to her past as a sex worker. She guides the reader through how she learned to cope with these expectations set against shame as she navigated her way as a woman in this modern day.

My one concern for this novel was this structure. It looses its flow frequently, and the story telling seems a bit all over the place. However, I would still recommend this novel as think piece about what it means to be a woman in any stage of life.

Thank you to NetGalley and G.P. Putnam’s Sons for the advanced reader copy!