I'm usually not one for non-fiction writing, but somehow this one worked really well for me! Everything is very transparent and authentic which made the book so enjoyable and genuine.

How Do You Feel? by Dr. Jessi Gold is a profoundly moving and insightful memoir that sheds light on the often unspoken challenges of working in healthcare. Dr. Gold’s candid exploration of her personal journey—balancing the expectations of being a psychiatrist, educator, and caregiver—resonates on many levels. The way she connects her own experiences with those of her patients, each facing their own mental health struggles, is both thought-provoking and compassionate.

This book stands out because of the raw honesty with which Dr. Gold addresses burnout, perfectionism, and the emotional weight of caring for others. Her ability to blend professional expertise with relatable, personal stories gives the narrative a powerful sense of authenticity. It’s a reminder that healthcare workers, often seen as infallible, face their own struggles and need care, too.

This memoir is perfect for anyone interested in mental health, especially healthcare professionals, as it encourages meaningful conversations about well-being and self-care. Dr. Gold’s vulnerability and wisdom make How Do You Feel? It is an inspiring read that will stay with you long after the final page.

How Do You Feel by Jessi Gold is a poignant and thought-provoking memoir that delves deep into the unspoken mental and physical costs of caring for others. As a therapist, I found Dr. Gold's personal narrative, especially her struggle to recognize her own burnout, to be incredibly relatable and on point. Her experience serves as a powerful reminder of how easily we, as caregivers, can become so overly invested in others that we fail to notice our own decline. This theme resonated deeply with me, reflecting the challenges many of us face in balancing our roles as healers and our own well-being.

Dr. Gold’s transparency around psychotropic medication is another highlight of this work. In a field where such topics can often be controversial, her openness is both refreshing and necessary. She presents these issues with a grace that is often missing in discussions around mental health, offering a nuanced perspective that is invaluable for both professionals and those outside the field.

One of the book’s greatest strengths is its empathy. Throughout the pages, Dr. Gold fosters a sense of grace and acceptance that is not only refreshing but also necessary in a world where mental health is often stigmatized. The stories of the four patients she follows are handled with care, and their struggles are portrayed with an honesty that invites readers to connect with their experiences, regardless of their own background.

However, I do have one critique: Dr. Gold seems to gloss over the fact that therapy is a privilege. For many, accessing therapy is not an option due to financial or other barriers. This omission could have been addressed more explicitly, as it is a reality that significantly impacts the accessibility of mental health care. The process of starting therapy can sometimes feel like finding an angry unicorn—terrifying and incredibly rare.

A quote that deeply resonated with me from the book is: “But being empathetic in a world with so much pain and so much hate sometimes feels unbearable—as if I’m being eaten alive. There’s no clocking out.” This sentiment encapsulates the heavy burden that empathy can carry, especially in a profession where there is no off switch. It reminded me of David Jones’s words: “It is both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so very deeply.” This quote beautifully captures the duality of empathy in the mental health field, where the ability to feel deeply is both our greatest strength and our greatest challenge.

In conclusion, How Do You Feel is a significant contribution to the field of mental health and caregiving. It is a book filled with invaluable insights, empathy, and a raw honesty that will resonate with many. Despite its minor shortcomings, it is a must-read for anyone in the mental health profession or those who care for others in any capacity.

Thank you to NetGalley, Simon Elliot, and Dr. Gold for an ARC in exchange for a review.

Thanks Netgalley for the ARC!

This book was a really great read about being a mental health provider in the middle of COVID. I found it to be really relatable in terms of the many contradictory positions that many of us found ourselves in during the early day so of the pandemic, and I also liked that her anecdotes broke up some of the more statistics-heavy sections. Especially as we get further and further away from those early days of the pandemic, I could see this book being one that stands out that captures how that time felt, the situations we all found ourselves trying to work through, and a great representative example of what it was like to be a mental health provider during that time.

Dr. Gold captures the experience of many healthcare workers, including myself, regarding the mental toll the COVID pandemic took, especially on frontline workers. I love reading how her experience shaped the way she cared for others during such an unprecedented time that is not something anybody trains or prepares for during schooling/residency. She shares stories & experiences that resonate deeply with the target audience and highlights how the current dynamic of the healthcare system prioritizes productivity over mental health & well-being. A true catalyst for change in a broken, but capable, system to be able to better care for our healthcare workers and communities moving forward with specific examples provided.

Thank you to NetGalley and Simon Element for early access to this ARC in exchange for my honest review & feedback.

Though I am not the target audience that will benefit most from this book, it still opened my eyes to the stigma of mental health treatment in healthcare workers. As someone who frequently reads about mental health (and regularly goes to therapy), I found a lot of the definitions and examples of things such as medication weaning, emotions wheels and more repetitive of what I already know. However, for those new to the topic or unfamiliar with traditional therapy practices, this book does a great job explaining the why behind treatments. I appreciate pop culture references in the book—which broke up some of the heavier statistics and research—and enjoyed a look into the world of frontline workers that I don’t have. This book has allowed me to have conversations with friends who work in healthcare about their personal mental health and the shortcomings of the industry to support them.

I really enjoyed the writing style of this author. It was easy to read and felt like listening to a conversation with a friend. That being said, the content of the book left me quite cold. This book talks a lot about a psychiatrist struggles with her own mental health during COVID. On the one hand, she is very upset about not being considered an essential worker when she feels like she is playing a very significant role. On the other hand, she talks about refusing to go into the hospital because she does not feel that she should have to put herself at any risk. As a healthcare worker myself, this came off as extremely whiny and tone deaf to people who did actually put themselves at risk in hospitals. This book felt a bit like screaming into the wind to rail against the way medical culture is today without any serious solutions being put forward. Honestly, by the end I was just annoyed.

As a healthcare worker I loved reading Jessi's experience as a psychiatrist during COVID and how she learned to care for others and herself. She shares stories from patients that she cared for as well as her own personal counseling sessions. She shares her experience during medical school and residency and how the culture of the healthcare system does not welcome emotions but train us to "suck it up and move on." Jessi is trying to be a voice of change in the system as she shares from her experience as well as counsels' healthcare workers. Loved her honesty and vulnerability throughout the book and as a reader you could relate to many of the peoples stories she shares.

In 'How Do You Feel?', Dr. Jessi Gold shares her personal journey as a psychiatrist during the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic in March 2020. As a busy doctor, teacher, and wellness leader, Dr. Gold understands what it's like to always be on the go. When she makes a mistake she would never make on the job, she comes face to face with just how exhausted she truly is. She shares her personal journey towards self-compassion and more attuned self-care.

Dr. Gold’s story is both personal and relatable, especially for those in healthcare. She opens up about her own mental health struggles, showing that even doctors can feel overwhelmed and how the culture of medicine reinforces a need to disconnect from emotions. Her honesty helps us see the human side of psychiatry. Her transparency helps us see the power in self-disclosure for the right reasons at the right time.

The book also introduces us to some of Dr. Gold’s patients, like a resident with OCD and an ER doctor feeling completely burned out. Through their stories, we learn about the pressures and emotional challenges of working in healthcare. Dr. Gold’s empathy and understanding shine through, showing how these issues affect real people. I enjoyed how much dialogue from actual sessions were included in the storytelling. This made the reading experience both eye-opening and tender-hearted. Dr. Gold has a lot to teach us about patient care and how to talk with our clients about topics that are extremely vulnerable. Dr. Gold teaches us a lot about how to engage in an ongoing self-interrogation with ourselves.

Dr. Gold talks about the medical culture that often makes it hard for professionals to admit they need help. She calls for a kinder, more supportive approach in the medical community. Using humor and pop culture references, she makes these serious topics easier to understand and relate to. Dr. Gold’s discussions with her own therapist, Dr. Miller, highlight the importance of self-care for healthcare providers. She shows that to help others effectively, doctors must also take care of their own mental health. The book ends on a hopeful note, offering practical advice on mental and emotional wellness and reminding us that our feelings are our strength.

*How Do You Feel?* is a must-read for anyone interested in mental health, especially those working in the healthcare field. Dr. Gold’s vulnerability and honesty will make many feel understood and supported. Her book is a powerful reminder that to be good caregivers, we must first take care of ourselves. It’s an inspiring message about the power of connection, learning, and growth.

Dr. Gold offers professional and personal insight of being a frontline worker during the pandemic. More importantly, she opens the Pandora's box of mental health in the medical profession, how perfectionism is endemic from medical school through career practice, and the paradox of medical professionals who heal others are reticent to talk about their own healing journeys. Gold is forthcoming and in telling her story and those of her patients, she offers an example of better mental health care for all.

Engaging and timely. A recommended purchase for collections where medical memoir and psychology titles are popular.

Gold puts you right back in the pandemic and forces the reader to consider the toll it took on healthcare workers -- especially mental health care workers. Her feelings, experiences, and emotions were painfully familiar to me, so much so that I had to read the book in small bites. Well written and insightful; this would likely be a very healing book for people whose mental health is still recovering from the pandemic.

I needed to read this book more than I knew I did. From the first to the last page, I felt that Dr. Gold was reading my mind as a mental health practitioner. The stories of colleagues and Dr. Gold's own story are so relatable as we all face the burnout and compassion fatigue that comes with working in the field of healthcare. This book is about finding the ability to express these concerns in order to ensure that we are providing the best care to our patients and ourselves. I applaud Dr. Gold for being able to express these concerns in a very intimate and empowering way.

Thank you to NetGalley and Simon Element for access to this ARC!