Member Reviews
I wanted to love this one so much but I just could not get into it sadly. I know several people that loved it, but it just wasnt for me.
The premise of this book sounded right up my alley. I love multigenerational sagas and complicated family relationships, especially between mothers and daughters, but the execution fell flat for me. I think my issue was that the story mostly focused on Grace, but I found her the least interesting between her, Lila, and Zelda so the story really dragged in the middle third. Grace's part also included a lot of her friend Ruth which felt like filler because she's basically just a really fleshed out side character. My favorite parts were Lila's when they talk about politics and her investigative journalism even though the tone read a bit snobby and pretentious at times. I would have really enjoyed a Succession-type story about Lila and her pirates breaking their Watergate-equivalent tied in with the mystery about Zelda's death/disappearance.
Thanks NetGalley and Random House for this eARC!
Like Mother Like Mother is a compelling and layered novel about family and motherhood and our expectations. The story largely follows three generations of the Perreira family, strong and independent Jewish women who are messy and complex. Lila is the daughter of Zelda, who was committed to a mental hospital when she was only 2, living in Detroit, Michigan in the 1950-60s. Early on, Lila learns that her mother has passed away, and she’s subjected to her father’s abusive behavior.
Lila is especially smart and headstrong and ultimately pursues journalism, rising high in its ranks in her career. I found Lila fascinating and frustrating. I think she loved her three daughters in her own way, but simply wasn’t maternal and completely committed to her job. Lila was clearly a workaholic, but this doesn’t seem to have the same connotation as other mental illnesses or disorders.
Grace is one of Lila’s daughters, and we see her mostly in her twenties in the 2000s, finding her way in the world. She has struggled all her life with her absent mother who was never there for school events or birthdays. Grace learns about Lila’s mother Zelda and writes a thinly veiled novel about her family, with a focus on her mother and Zelda.
We learn that it was never confirmed exactly what happened to Zelda. Lila took her father at his word that she died, but there’s no evidence of it or what happened. Did Zelda pass away at a hospital and her records were destroyed or could she have survived and lived a different life away from her family? I found the last third pretty compelling. By the names of each part, I suspected we would get Zelda’s perspective or at least find out what happened to her. We do hear her story, but it’s fairly brief and not as in depth as Lila’s or Grace’s sections.
The characters aren't always the most likable, but they are interesting, and the novel asks a lot of questions in its character’s behaviors and choices. Is it selfish to have children if you’re not maternal or are unwilling or unable to commit time to them? Is it okay to do this if they have a great and committed father? The writing at times was a little choppy. The topic or character being spoken about would abruptly change within a paragraph to something seemingly unrelated. I would recommend this for those who enjoyed The Paper Palace or The Most Fun We Ever Had.
Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for providing this ARC. All thoughts are my own.
This was such a good story. Every generation of this family had its own trauma, experiences, love and heartbreak. I enjoyed the dialogue and missed connections between the families as well as the idea of wanting to figure out something from the past but at the same time not wanting to know the answer. This book is a great reminder that we all carry emotions based on present, past, and future.
This is a multigenerational book about three nuanced women and the impact of their life experiences on themselves and their children.
The story focuses on characters, Lila, Grace (daughter) and Zelda (mother). Lila was told by her controlling and abusive father that after committing her mother Zelda in an asylum she died. This caused toddler aged Lila to be raised in a home with an absent mother.
As an adult, Lila is a workaholic that is physically present in the home but absent in mothering. She believes it is best that her three daughters be raised by their loving father and devotes herself to her successful career. She believes she gave them the best she had to offer by leaving parenting to their amazing father.
Grace, alike her mother in personality and not looks, resents her mother for devoting her life to her work. She struggles and spends her life seeking her mothers love and attention. Grace is infatuated with the story of Zelda and seeks to find out what happened to her —did she run away or did she truly die in the asylum. To avoid spoilers I will leave Zelda’s story for you to read!
This book is about the complexity of families, specifically mothers and daughters. Of note, the author does discuss politics heavily in this book and the tone is favorable to the left. This may be a deterrent for some people.
Thank you to Random House Publishing and NetGalley for this advanced reader copy.
I had a lot of trouble getting into this book but it definitely picked up as I got further along. The author did a great job at writing about the similarities between mother and daughter and it definitely made me emotional at times.
LIKE MOTHER, LIKE MOTHER
BY: SUSAN RIEGER
When Lila was two years old, her abusive father named, Aldo put Lila's mother in an Insane Asylum. He was abusive physically, emotionally, and verbally abusive both to Lila, and her mother, Zelda, before she disappeared completely from Lila's life. He did the same things to Lila, while she still lived with her father in her father's mother's home, (Lila's grandmother). It is Lila that her terribly, cruel father continues to be physically abusive too. Lila absorbs her father's ire, in order that he focuses all of his meanness onto herself. Lila feels that she is shielding her older brother and sister from his abuse and cruelty. Her grandmother takes what little jewelry that Lila's mother had for herself. She is just as mean to her grandchildren as her son was. She felt like she didn't want the burden of cleaning, cooking, and keeping the house for her grandchildren.
Lila escapes from that environment as soon as she is old enough to and falls in love and marries her College sweetheart, named Joe. When Joe brings Lila home for the first time she and his mother Frances hit it off really well. Frances buys Lila designer suits and hosts Joe and Lila's wedding at her home, with Lila's name for its size, "Tara." Lila had told Joe that she didn't want children, and since he does they agree to have switched their parenting roles. Lila is to go on to become a famous person of the Washington Globe newspaper. She works her way up from an obituary writer to her current job that she has until mandatory retiring at age 65. Lila and Joe had three daughters who the oldest two are twins, with her youngest daughter's growing resentment of Lila for always being at work, and not the kind of mother who her youngest daughter needs her to be. Her youngest daughter seems to be a lot closer both in looks and relationship to her father, Joe.
At the University of Chicago, Grace, Lila's youngest daughter who resented Lila for spending all of her time working her way up to the top, meets who turns out to be Grace's best friend all through their four years at their University and after. Her best friend's name is Ruth. Ruth was going to be a doctor, but changed her mind and wants to have her own podcast. She decides to take some time off and work for Grace's father named Joe at his law firm. Somewhere along this story that moves back and forth in time, since way before I reached 50% if not in the first 1/4 they're all at church for Lila's funeral since she died of cancer. Then she is alive again, and Grace has written an autobiographical novel about her mother, and she never believed Lila's mother Zelda, died in the Insane Asylum. Grace shows more interest in what could've happened to Lila's mother, Zelda than Lila did. Lila and Joe have separated, and are living under separate homes per Joe's idea.
Lila got an early ARC of Grace's novel, but it's really obvious her non-fiction novel is about their family and Grace just changed everybody's name. Which it is easily recognizable to Lila who everybody is with their name changes. Joe had wanted a divorce from Lila, but she didn't want one from him so they both had their own places to live. Ruth went back to Florida after working for Joe at his law firm, and living in Lila's apartment free was able to save up tens of thousands of dollars. She spent an evening at her older friend's having dinner, and she met their son, who are also twins like Grace's older sisters, except these are male twins. She gets involved with one of the twins, and he asks her to marry him. She was staying at her mother and Gran's home which is where she grew up and is her home again, and the night of Ruth and Nico's engagement party, Grace meets his twin brother Zander, by which she tells him in so many words, that he is talking too much about himself. She certainly doesn't mince words. He thinks it's something about Grace that has gotten him to open up about himself and talk so much.
Lila didn't come across as a bad mother in this novel, except that she put her job first at Grace's expense and her husband Joe. It's bad that she did that, but I believe whenever she could she talked encouragingly to Grace who seems to be following in her mother, Lila's footsteps. Lila who worked for the Washington Globe Newspaper at the top job. Grace is working at a Newspaper in New York called, The New Yorkist. After a year and a half of working there which was a promotion for her leaving another job at a newspaper, it seemed like she got her job since the man who hired her had heard and knew about her famous mother. As I was saying, Lila didn't have any good role models that taught her how to be a good wife and mother. She praised Grace telling her she was a good writer after reading that ARC much earlier in the novel. I know that Lila was wrong to not put her family ahead of her job. I thought that Lila gave compliments to Grace, and I don't know how she could frankly be so kind to Joe and Grace, when she grew up with her cruel father and his mother. You don't grow up in a cruel environment, without any kindness except from her older brother, who died in a fire helping to save the people in a burning building. At least Lila other than working all of the time was kind to her family, and Grace who resented her mother, and following Grace's wishing that her mother was home after school for her to talk to, and wishing that Lila went to PTA meetings it seems that Grace is following in Lila's footsteps by wanting to be a journalist, and working for a newspaper just like her mother, so I don't agree with other reviewers that Lila's an unlikable person. Joe did get tired of all those missed family dinners, but she clearly loves her family. You show me the perfect person out there, and then we'll talk. I think it's perfectly okay for other reviewers to have their opinions, but I also don't think that Grace is the most likable person, even though she had her father, Joe who is a saint dote on her.
After about a year and a half of Grace working at The New Yorkist, she decided to look at her notes for her non-fiction novel, called, "The Lost Mother." She had mostly notes when she opened up the file and thought to herself,: "A Writer who doesn't write isn't a writer." Grace decided to start at the end, about Lila's mother, Zelda. Grace told herself that Lila's story would come pouring out of herself, as well as her own, too. Ruth was baffled at hearing this asking Grace, "What's in it for you? What does Zelda, Have to do with you?" To which Grace answered Ruth, "I know I'm right." "Zelda didn't die back in 1968, though she may now be dead. Her story is the origin story of our family. Everything follows from her escape." Ruth asked Grace, "What about Aldo? You've never acknowledged the horror of Lila's childhood. The story isn't the missing mother. It's the violent father. You've concocted a matrilineal inheritance of desertion: first, Zelda abandoned Lila, then Lila abandoned you." "Where are all of the fathers? "Think of the huge difference between Aldo and Joe." Ruth is as bright as she is kind. She's honest with Grace, and does bring up a very important fact, like only your best friends do. To which Grace fires back at Ruth defending her lack of logic at zeroing in on her lack, not her good fortune. Grace says to Ruth, "You're not getting it. Before Zelda left, Aldo beat her, not the children. After she left, he started beating them. Zelda fled to save herself. Lila could hold out against Aldo's violence, but not against his violence AND Zelda's desertion, her dereliction, her betrayal. It would have torpedoed her. Zelda had to be dead. Lila has no memories of Zelda. Clara says the few she recalls made her cautious and distrustful. She won't say what they are. Polo remembered her. He would talk about her. He was five when she was hospitalized. I've always thought he knew she wasn't dead and it torpedoed him." Ruth asked Grace, "Do you want to torpedo Lila? Is that your plan?" Grace says back to Ruth, in a childish retort, in my opinion. "I'm making it up. I'm writing a novel. Mostly. She won't know more than she knew before."
Susan Rieger, the author, wrote a multi-generational beautiful story about mothers and daughters. She did an excellent job examining the questions, which one is, how can you be a great mother, when you didn't have any role models in your life to show you how it's done? It also asks whether you, as a daughter, can perceive the positive things that your mother did for you, not just what she didn't do that defines you. In Lila as a mother, I thought that Grace focused on the negative aspects about her mother, and didn't appreciate the positive gifts Grace received from Lila until it was too late. Lila didn't act cruel on purpose to her children, repeating the cycle of her upbringing for the most part. Yes, Grace, Lila's youngest child, felt like her mother didn't meet all of her needs by working so much. Lila did the best she could as Grace realizes when she solves the puzzle about Lila's horrific childhood. Lila's mother wasn't a presence in her life, which I feel that this author did a masterful job at depicting how things are passed down that shapes us and we all do the best we can, under our circumstances. I don't believe mothers purposely set out to hurt their children, yet sometimes we do unintentionally, for many different reasons. Sometimes we don't meet our children's needs by being unaware of the fact, that some of our actions are hurting our children. We are not conscious of it at the time. Grace received love from her father, who made an agreement with Lila, who openly told Joe, before they got married that she didn't know how to be a mother. Joe and Lila made an agreement before they got married that she would work, and her husband Joe would take the un-traditional role of raising the children. Lila was a loving person, and loved by many except Grace, who realizes too late, how her and Lila have more in common than she thought. She didn't think about how she might have hurt her mother,by writing her non-fiction novel. Yet, Lila praised Grace telling her she was a good writer. "Like Mother, Like Mother,"is the perfect title for this novel that explores how we all do the best we could, as far as Grace and Lila were concerned. I felt that her innate temperament was that she did the best that she could. Maybe her driven nature to be a workaholic, and neglect her family as a result, was Lila's way of dealing with the trauma she experienced in her horrific childhood. There is a mystery within this novel that I won't say what it is, and whether it's solved. It will enlighten readers and some characters in this outstanding novel. I LOVED IT! I want to read Susan Rieger's other novel that preceded this. I really think the dynamics of family, and inter-generational trauma, is explored with psychological insight, that this very talented author explored realistically. I think this novel deserves to reach as wide of an audience as possible. We all do the best we can given our situations and circumstances that shape us. "Like Mother, Like Mother," is also heavily portrayed, how much of our experiences with our mothers, whether intentionally or not affects the un-examined life, and just how much we can be influenced by our mothers. It really is a multi-generational portrait of how mothers and daughters relationships trickle down, and how we deal with our perceptions of our mothers, or not deal with our own realities about just how much our mothers we internalize. This is a realistic portrait of how much mothers and daughters relationships correlate, and in most cases we as daughters, absorb from our mothers nurturing whether we choose to or not, how much we are alike.
Publication Date: October 29, 2024. AVAILABLE NOW TO PURCHASE! NET GALLEY MEMBERS CAN STILL REQUEST THIS NOVEL, WHICH I HIGHLY RECOMMEND!
Thank you to Net Galley, Susan Rieger, and Random House Publishing Group--RandomHouse/ The Dial Press, for generously providing me with my fabulous ARC, in exchange for a fair and honest review. All opinions are my own.
#LikeMotherLikeMother #SusanRieger #RandomHousePublishingGroupRandomHouseTheDialPress #NetGalley
I was absolutely riveted by this fascinating multigenerational family saga! Excellent writing, robust characterization and vivid plotting made this one tough to put down. For all of her faults, I loved Lila and understood why she was the way she was. Ruth and Grace were fascinating. The families weren't perfect, but they did love each other. I highly recommend this to anyone who loves a family story with an imperfect mother at the center.
I LOVE a good multigenerational family saga & this story that definitely fits that. The story It's very character driven and evokes a lot of emotion. It focuses on the mother and daughter relationship. We get to see challenging family dynamics and how the characters deal with it. I really enjoyed the writing as well. The story deals with themes of power, ambition, parenthood, and abuse. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book!
Thank you to NetGalley and The Dial Press for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review!
Thank you to NetGalley and Dial Press for the ARC in exchange for my honest opinion. It pains me to say that this wasn’t a compelling read for me. I heard a lot about this book prior to its release. I usually enjoy family saga/drama reads but this one wasn't for me.
**"Like Mother, Like Mother" by Susan Rieger: A Thought-Provoking Tale of Family and Motherhood**
*Like Mother, Like Mother* is a powerful exploration of motherhood and family, spanning three generations of strong, complex women. The story of Lila, who was abandoned by her institutionalized mother and grew up in a troubled household, and her daughter Grace, who seeks to uncover the truth about their past, is both emotional and thought-provoking. With beautifully developed characters and a narrative that balances humor and heartache, this is a perfect pick for book clubs and anyone interested in the complexities of family dynamics. Thank you to NetGalley and Random House for the ARC!
I loved this novel, and the many complicated characters and emphasis on family. I know there has been a bit of chatter post publication regarding uncited sources, but I still enjoyed these characters, the dialogue and the propulsive plot. I think it will do very well for us!
𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘 𝗠𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥, 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘 𝗠𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥 by Susan Rieger examines the lives of three generations of women all affected in one way or another by abandonment. At its heart is Lila, who at 2 years old was in essence abandoned by her mother who was committed to an asylum by Lila’s father. The shadow of growing up both without a mother and with an abusive father left deep scars on Lila. Those scars drove Lila to rise to the very top of her journalism career, but at the same time put distance between herself and her three daughters.
Youngest daughter Grace took Lila’s absences the hardest and the older she became, the deeper her resentment grew. Grace’s was the middle part of this book and the one I felt was maybe just a little overwrought. That section felt a little bit like a puzzle with too many pieces. As it moved into the final section, most of those pieces began to fit together into a mother-daughter story I truly liked.
I especially enjoyed the smart, snappy dialogue within this book. While most of that is Rieger’s own intellectual property, some came from other authors’ words. There has been questioning as to whether or not she credited them correctly. Personally, I think it would have been awkward to use footnotes within dialogue, but I understand the discomfort. In the finished copies’ acknowledgements, Rieger gives a list of authors she drew from, but not their specific words. I almost wish I was unaware because knowing Rieger as an experienced author, I think she and her editorial team should have handled it in a better way. Sadly, this left a tainted feel to a book I otherwise VERY much enjoyed.
*𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘵𝘰 @𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘤 𝘤𝘰𝘱𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬.
Like Mother, Like Mother is a portrait of family, marriage, ambition, power, the stories we inherit, and the lies we tell to become the people we believe we're meant to be.
This book is about three generations of women: matriarch, Lila, her daughter Grace, and Lila’s mother, Zelda, who died when she was young in a mental institution. Each part of the book dives deeper into each woman. When Lila dies, her daughter Grace decides to figure out what really happened to Zelda as her own mother’s last wish.
This one just wasn’t for me. The writing is mostly commentary and a lot of chapters are just dialogue between a B list of characters. The beginning was strong and quite funny but as I got deeper, it lost me. I love literary fiction especially multigenerational but this was just too wordy and not enough action.
⭐️⭐️
A thoroughly enjoyable multigenerational family story that starts in Detroit in the 1960s and goes to present day New York, DC, and Michigan. The story is complex, and focuses on Lila, Grace and Zelda - all of whom have made intentional life choices that affect the next generation of women - until Grace tries to solve the mysteries of her mother (Lila) and grandmother (Zelda) who disappeared when Lila was a young girl. Abuse, legacy, power, family loyalties and inherited trauma are intertwined throughout the generations. It impacts not only these women, but all the people who love them - sisters, friends, boyfriends, husbands and fathers. For me, the story felt a bit uneven but picked up momentum in the last third as Grace tries to solve the mystery of her grandmother to unlock the key to her own choices, loyalties and future. Highly recommend. Thanks to Net Galley and The Dial Press for the eARC in exchange for my honest review.
Lila and Joe have an unusual marriage--he does the bulk of the child-rearing while she pursues her career. It mostly works for them; Lila claims not to know how to be a mother, after her own was committed to a mental institution where she ultimately died. But while the arrangement works for the couple, their youngest daughter, Grace, feels abandoned, much as Lila did as a child.
Grace's fictionalized memoir of her mother probably would have raised eyebrows regardless, but when its release is followed quickly by Lila's retirement and death, it seems even more hurtful. Grace seeks to redeem herself by following Lila's wish that she find out what happened to Lila's mother, Zelda. Did she really die as Lila's abusive father claimed, or did she actually escape her marriage?
This absorbing story of three generations is by turns entertaining, touching, and thought-provoking. Why is it so wrong for a woman to favor her career over her children? Haven't men been doing it for generations? The ending seems abrupt and unsatisfying as Grace just concedes that maybe her actions were wrong. But many of characters are deeply affecting, especially Lila, Joe, Frances, and Ruth. While I have a personal policy of not reading books that have a list of characters at the beginning, I made an exception for this book, and I'm glad I did. #LikeMotherLikeMother #NetGalley
What an incredibly unique book. I went into this expecting something similar to a Claire Lombardo novel, which I love, but it was entirely different and great in it's own way.
Rieger's writing focusses a lot on dialogue. For this reason, I wasn't a huge fan of the audio, as it includes a lot of "...,he said" and "...,she said" etc. But when reading the eARC I was very swept up in the conversations.
The prose was witty and the themes were interesting. This would be a great topic for a book club, and a good book to gift over the holidays to discuss with loved ones in the coming year.
Like Mother, Like Mother is a four-generation Jewish family saga, whose main character is Lila Perreira. She had a horrible childhood: her father was abusive toward her mother Zelda. After she ended up in the loony bin, her turned his palms and fists towards his children (particularly Lila). When Lila left the house, she never returned. She ends up marrying the heir of GM Motors and had a fantastic career of her own as a White House news reporter. I particularly enjoyed the journalistic/political insight. As I really enjoy reading intelligent characters, this book was fun to read. I did not enjoy Lila's daughter (Grace) as much. She kept whining, complaining about her mother's unmotherly ways, but it was interesting this quest she went to try to find out what happened to her grandmother Zelda. Since nobody saw her body after she supposedly died in this mental institution nor was there ever a death certificate available, she kept searching for the truth: did Zelda really? Or did she run away? Where was she buried? Or did she start again, away from her children?
Thank you to Net Galley and the publisher for this e-ARC in exchange of my honest review.
I really enjoyed this book! It's an exploration of several women who would typically be deemed unlikeable and a generational reckoning between them. It's part mystery, part literary fiction, and 100% fully human. Recommend!
What an engaging novel! So chock full of well rounded characters that the reader is given a cast list at the beginning. This book is done in three sections. The first is Lila's story from her childhood until her death. The second part is Grace's story. It is about being Lila's daughter. When Lila dies she leaves a note for Grace to find out what happened to her mother. This is the last section of the book. The story is about mothers and daughters and how our mothers shape our lives. It is a story of family dynamics and what happens when we don't know the truth. Done with a light touch and occasional humor, this is a book I will recommend to friends.