3.5 stars! Overall, WHAT IT'S LIKE IN WORDS was a super strong debut. It took me a little time to get into it at first, but once I did, I couldn't help but get absorbed in the story. The depth of the writing and the complexity of the characters were both definite highlights for me. Even though Enola could sometimes be a frustrating character, she was undeniably compelling—all of the characters were, despite their flaws. Eliza Moss does a fantastic job of developing them and their world! I will say that I sometimes struggled with the pacing and some of the stylistic choices in the book. I think the lack of quotation marks made it difficult to fully follow the dialogue (which has also been the case for me with other books I've read in the past that also exclude them). However, I'm sure a lot of readers wouldn't have the same problem! I still enjoyed this one, and I'd definitely be interested to see what Eliza Moss writes next. Thank you to NetGalley and Henry Holt for the ARC.

Enola is a 28 year old writer struggling to find her footing in her unfinished novel. She meets a fellow writer, a 36 year old unnamed red flag. She is quickly infatuated and becomes addicted to this toxic relationship. There are elements of family dynamics and grief as well. This novel spans 2 years and really goes through all the stages of a toxic relationship.

At points it feels so frustrating to see the obviously narcissistic behavior but it’s so realistic for the main character to not see the whole picture. The experience of reading this is being like Ruth, her best friend, and wanting to shake Enola until she understands what he’s doing to her. I liked that the toxic boyfriend was never named, it isn’t important and i’m sure many women (or people) can place the name of an ex-partner in that position. I wish the family grief had been explored a tad more near the end. However, I still felt satisfied with the ending.

This is a very strong debut! I loved the writing style and found it such a compulsive read. I can’t wait to see what Eliza Moss writes next. I will be seated. This is a December Aardvark book club pick if you loved Writers & Lovers, toxic relationships, and complex grief/family dynamics, you should pick this up!

What It’s Like in Words by Eliza Moss has been creating buzz as an emotionally intense debut that dives deep into themes of toxic love, self-discovery, and personal growth. Following Enola, a young woman navigating her late twenties and a deeply fraught relationship with a moody, enigmatic writer, the book captures the spiraling allure of first love and the challenges of defining self-worth outside of it. It's been compared to the raw emotional landscapes of Fleabag and I May Destroy You, which gives you an idea of the vulnerable, unfiltered tone​.

I’d give it a 4/5. It’s the kind of story that hurts in the best way—it’s raw, sometimes uncomfortable, but also cathartic. Enola’s messy choices feel so real, and while it’s not always easy to root for her, you can’t help but understand her. If you love introspective reads with a tinge of darkness and emotional chaos, this one is worth checking out.

Enola is in her late 20s, working in a coffee shop while trying to write a novel on the side. When a new man joins her writing group, she is instantly smitten. He is brooding, moody, difficult--everything she thinks a writer should be. She ignores her best friend Ruth's admonitions that he's narcissistic, self-centered, damaging to her self-esteem. She tries so hard to make it work, even as he seems to try to destroy her.

Ruth is the one constant in her life, after Enola's father died when she was young and her mother decamped to France, their main contact a weekly phone call. When Enola starts to find success with her writing, he becomes more distant and she finds comfort with someone who seems to genuinely care for her.

The timeline in the novel is quirky and difficult to follow and I spent a lot of time trying to figure out if I'd forgotten the name of the jerk Enola is so obsessed with or if it's never given (I think the latter?). Watching Enola ignore so many red flags is trying, although the reader feels quite rational in comparison. Fortunately, Enola does grow and reconciles with her past (and her mother). #WhatItsLikeinWords #NetGalley

this reminded me a lot of acts of desperation by megan nolan thematically and call it what you want by alissa derogatis as far as the actual writing went. i found a lot of the time jumps. a little confusing and the main character was a little passive for my taste, but overall i was entertained enough to finish.

🧶 THE SUMMARY:
Enola is approaching 30—the age she’d imagined she’d have it all figured out. Instead, she’s stuck struggling to write her book and has yet to experience a serious relationship. When she becomes infatuated with a friend-of-a-friend in her writers’ group, their toxic relationship becomes both a distraction from her traumatic past and a harsh mirror to her disillusioning present.

💁🏻‍♀️ MY THOUGHTS:
🔸 I’ll admit, this wasn’t quite the story I expected from the blurb (very far from Fleabag), but it was darkly compelling and impossible to put down. I’ve read books about toxic relationships before, but this one stood out for its stark honesty. The boyfriend isn’t remotely redeeming, and with Enola’s brutally clear-eyed perspective about their emotional and physical connection (or lack thereof), her obsession with him is hard to rationalize. Yet, it feels painfully authentic—cringe-worthy in the best way. 🥴

🔸 What really hooked me, though, was the second half of the book. As Enola recounts her next relationship, she becomes the emotionally distant, detached partner—a complete reversal of her previous dynamic. This shift forces the reader to question everything about the first relationship. Was the boyfriend truly at fault? Or was there more we missed?

Thank you to Henry Holt & Co and NetGalley for the ARC, provided in exchange for an honest review.

As someone who’s been in Enola’s shoes it’s easy to see how quickly people are quick to judge someone. Or say just leave sometimes the red flags aren’t as red as people think. We follow Enola, an aspiring book author in her late twenties, as she navigates life's challenges: trauma, friendships, and the nuances of relationships, both healthy and destructive. Eliza Moss delves deeply into Enola's mind and attitude, perfectly capturing her overthinking and people-pleasing traits. I wanted to shake Enola for ignoring her boyfriend's warning signs, but then I remembered the trauma she had not addressed. Her rocky relationship with her mother complicates her problems. While Enola's circumstances may not be relatable to everyone, there are times when you can't help but identify with her struggles. This book is a profound investigation of perspective. Those who have suffered violent relationships will probably relate to Enola, while others might connect. Ruth, the buddy attempting to pull her out. The plot uses an alternate temporal format, which can be difficult at first. Pay close attention. However, the payout is an incredibly interesting read

Thanks to NetGalley for this ARC.

I was initially very excited for this book, the description reads as a plot that I would love, but I just really couldn't get into this novel. I think for me, it was because I hated the main character. She felt whiney and too much. I do understand what the author was going for, and I think this would be great for readers that like problematic POVs.

Maybe if I put it down, I could come back to it. If I do, I will happily come back to this.

While the main character frustrated me with her thoughts and actions, I was still drawn into her journey. I wasn't a fan of all the jumping back and forth in the later part of the book, as it got confusing, but I enjoyed Enola's growth.

What It's Like in Words by Eliza Moss is a beautifully written exploration of relationships, identity, and heartbreak. On a sentence level, the prose is absolutely stunning—Moss has a way with words that pulls you in and holds you there. The main character is deeply compelling, even when her decisions left me exasperated (in the best, most human way).

However, the book’s focus on toxic men made parts of it a tough sit—off-putting at times—and the pacing in the second half felt uneven, jumping forward and then going back - it got a little confusing. Still, if you appreciate lush writing and flawed, relatable characters, this book is well worth the read.

Whew, this novel was an emotional whirlwind for me. If you’ve ever been in a toxic relationship involving any type of abuse, gaslighting, and love bombing, firstly I’m so sorry, and secondly please make sure you are in the right headspace before reading.

Enola is nearly 30, and not at all where she hoped to be by this age. She’s an aspiring writer who hasn’t completed a first draft, she overly romanticizes her childhood, and she has never been in a serious relationship. This all changes when she meets the man of her dreams, and instantly falls madly in love. The problem? The relationship is extremely toxic, and Enola is treated terribly (all while being wholly lovesick).

I felt a range of emotions reading this book: sadness, intense anger, frustration, empathy, and more. At times I wanted to scream at Enola, “JUST LEAVE HIM ALREADY!” And then I realized, I have been Enola in the past. I completely understand the rose-colored glasses, rationalizations, and self-doubts that keep people in toxic relationships. Enola is also unearthing and dealing with childhood trauma, which adds another layer of depth (and another layer I can relate to). All of these realizations gave me an entirely new perspective of Enola and the book as a whole.

I am truly amazed that this is Eliza Moss’s debut novel. Her writing is beautiful, and she has this innate ability to put the reader into Enola’s shoes. It’s a raw and difficult read, but one worth reading. I can already tell you I’ll be reading any book Moss releases in the future!

Now, brb while I emotionally recover from this book (and possibly go discuss it with my therapist)

Big thanks to NetGalley and Henry Holt & Company for the gifted eARC!

For fans of Adelaide, this one is very similar! The way this was written was very unique and I really appreciate the FMC's voice. It will be very relatable to anybody who has been in an all consuming but also toxic relationship.

Thanks to NetGalley and Henry Holt & Co. for this advance reader copy, in exchange for an honest review. What It’s Like In Words is a contemporary story about Enola, who is approaching thirty and feels like her life is at a standstill— professionally, personally, etc. But, then she enters into a new relationship that upends her life and forces much to come to light about herself. It’s important to note here that this relationship is abusive and is at times, difficult and very sad to read, so take caution.

With that said, I do think the writing in this book was fantastic— the author did an excellent job writing from Enola’s perspective and describing the internal struggles she worked through as she tried to justify the abuse she was experiencing, her reactions to it, and how some of those experiences impacted her later actions and other relationships. There were so many times reading this book where I felt angry at, sad for, frustrated at, empathy with, and a whole other host emotions toward Enola. I became very invested in her as a character and was compelled to finish this book quickly, with the hopes of seeing her turn a corner. It’s also clear throughout this book that Ebola has some traumas and grief in her past that is yet unresolved; even though the specifics are not revealed until the end, I think the author does an excellent job at still showing the impact of these unnamed events on Enola and her relationships. If I had to sum up my favorite quality of this book, I would say that it is that it’s truly doing a great job at “showing” versus “telling”.

I would definitely recommend this book to contemporary fiction fans, especially people who like reading about messy relationships, complex emotions, and some of the hefty life questions that come with just growing up. However, this book is centered largely on an abusive relationship that the main character is in so, just take caution when going in! But, I think it’s definitely worth the read and is a truly fantastic debut.

I'll be the outlier. This is the latest in the subgenre of novels about women in their late 20s whose lives are at a standstill and who then find themselves in a toxic relationship with a partner who is a taker not a giver. Enola thinks her unnamed love interest is much better than her friend Ruth (the smart one) does. This tells the story of their relationship in a fashion that you might find confusing at first but trust that it sort of makes sense at the end- if you get that far. The thing is, Enola is not likable. Ruth is but she's not the protagonist. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC. While this wasn't for me, I'm certain it will resonate with others.

The writing in this book was so incisive about an abusive, toxic relationship. Enola’s anxiety about the relationship was palpable; it pulsed off the page. It was so difficult to watch her bending over backwards to try to please a narcissistic partner, unnamed throughout, who had no interest in doing the same for her.

Around 50-60%, the plot changes a bit, and I found the latter half of the book more interesting than the first half. Enola’s world expands somewhat and the reader learns more about who Enola is aside from her relationship. I found her to be a very relatable protagonist; even when I wanted her to make different decisions, I understood why she made the choices she did.

The one problem I had with this book is that her partner is so unlikeable from the very beginning. We’re told he’s charismatic and funny, but I never felt that way about him; he seemed pretty terrible from the jump.

Overall, I thought this book was very well-written; the fact that I had so much anxiety while reading it is such a testament to how well the author wrote the relationship. I’ll definitely read whatever Eliza Moss writes next, and I’m looking forward to more people reading this book because it begs for discussion!

Final note: I absolutely love the cover!

Enola is feeling lost as she approaches her thirties. She hasn’t become a published author, she’s disconnected from her mother, and she is alone. Until she meets a fellow writer and falls in love with him, despite his moodiness and distance.

I loved this real life novel showing a tumultuous relationship. Many of us had had this exact same relationship in our twenties; we are in love but he isn’t there, yet something about him makes us needy and adaptable. The back and forth was cringy but so realistic. I personally have been there and felt this hard. I loved how the main character’s childhood was looked at, and while it was significant to her current situation, it was not the main story. The ending was satisfying and made up for the cringe.

“He made me look at myself. He took me out of my head. He made everything exciting. My blood was pumping for the first time in years.”

What It’s Like in Words comes out 12/3.

This was a TOUGH read. If you’ve ever been in an abusive relationship of any kind, it will probably be triggering because of how spot on it is. She got the nuances of gaslighting, manipulation and the deterioration it will cause on the victims mental health to a T.

At times I couldn’t stand Enola before realizing I used to be her. The empathy for her situation didn’t make going through it with her any less infuriating. If I read a book like this when I was still in the thick of it all, I think it would’ve been incredibly eye opening and helpful.

The writing was immaculate. Raw, devastating, emotional, beautiful. I can’t wait to read literally anything Eliza Moss puts out next.

Thank you to NetGalley for this ARC!

Wow completely blown away ! Started it 2 hours ago and devoured it from start to finish
Gripped compelling page turning
The characters the sitting loved it
The messy on and off relationship the raw realness of who we are and what we want , then don’t as we grow and change written beautifully .
Excitement butterflies of new things to the reality of life and who and how we accept the way people treat us ! Brilliant words come to life

I couldn’t get into ‘What it’s like in Words’ unfortunately and ended up not finishing it, however I think many library patrons will enjoy it, it just wasn’t for me.

Wow was this book stressful for me. I really didn't know what I was getting myself into. Its felt like the same concept of wanting to protect a friend from red flags that you yourself are not taking. And that is exactly what it is like being in an abusive relationship - you know what you need and what's wrong, but you still betray yourself by staying and being gracious to your partner. I had really hard time reading this one, but at the same time it felt cathartic and relatable as much as it was insufferable. This book was a masterpiece and exceptional for a debut work.
I will definitely recommend this book to my girlies. Tough read, but worth it.