3.5 ⭐️

Enola embarks in a relationship with an asshole. Moss does a great job at demonstrating the inner dialogue of someone who is in a toxic relationship. I felt like at times, it was challenging to read this one. I was getting SO annoyed & frustrating with Enola. Obviously that was the point, but I found myself not wanting to pick it up to read it because of it. I did enjoy the ending and how the story wrapped up.

Thank you to NetGalley & Henry Holt Books for this eARC in exchange for an honest review!

3.5 stars! What It's Like In Words is like when you drive past a huge car crash and you just can’t look away, even though you probably should. That’s exactly how this book feels.

Enola is nearing 30, feeling like she's stuck in a life she thought she'd have figured out by now. She wants to be a writer but can't finish a draft, romanticizes her childhood but avoids her mom, and dreams of a perfect relationship—though she's never been in one.

Enter an enigmatic writer. Enola falls hard, imagining their perfect future: the wedding, the publishing deals, the perfect house. But in reality he’s distant, hangs out with his ex, and has dark moods. Enola tells herself she’s a “Cool Girl”—she doesn’t need constant attention or reassurance. Right?

Despite her best friend urging her to end things, Enola can’t. She’s convinced this is what love is: all-consuming, desperate, and painful. But over the next 24 hours (and two years), everything Enola thought she knew about love, family, and herself is about to unravel.

This is a book far too many women can relate too and a great exploration of toxic relationship dynamics and how women often find themselves drawn back to men who aren’t good for them. Thank you to NetGalley and the Publisher for an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Well written but not for me. Missing trigger warnings.

Thank you Henry Holt and Company for granting me an ARC!

What It’s Like in Words by Eliza Moss had an interesting premise, but the main character's immaturity made it difficult to stay invested. While the writing had its moments, the character's decisions often felt frustrating, leaving the story somewhat underwhelming.

This Arc was provided in exchange for my honest review

“Worse than the notion of drowning was what he would think of me if I drowned.”

Oh, the gaslighting of it all. We’ve all been there, at least to some extent, and at its core that’s what makes this book relatable, even if the heavy handedness of some of the character actions really needed some work.

Conceptually this is a very well imagined gaslight anthem (if you’ll permit me to borrow the moniker of one of my favorite bands), but it loses something in the absurdity of both the main character’s stubborn blindness to her situation and in the lack of subtlety employed by her emotionally abusive boyfriend in his attempts to manipulate and belittle her.

It’s not that I don’t think This Guy exists in this exact form. It’s that there’s a subtler and much more relatable version of him that is a) easier to relate to for most readers and b) a LOT more common. Enola’s reactions to him also feel unrealistically heightened for dramatic effect. Again, it’s not that there isn’t an exact version of Enola out there somewhere in this sense, it’s that most of us can relate to her blindness to a partner’s faults and willingness to explain away small acts of cruelty, but likely wouldn’t be willing to stand there and repeatedly withstand someone essentially calling us stupid and worthless.

If the intent was to portray an extreme version of emotional abuse then I guess this hits the mark, but my impression of the book is that is was likely intended instead to be relatable to young women in general and the ways we often change or lose ourselves in looking for ways to exist in a world in which toxic male behavior is not all that uncommon.

Moss writes well and I loved the tone of this as well as her poignant observations about how far we’ll go to be loved, but I think a lighter touch was needed here if this is meant to appeal to a general female audience.

I was so excited and grateful for this ARC! This was a highly anticipated release for me.
In What It's Like in Words, 28-year-old Enola is immediately drawn to a mysterious 35-year-old man at her writers group, and what begins as mere curiosity quickly develops into a dysfunctional relationship. Though emotionally distant and occasionally cruel, especially when Enola's book gains attention from publishers, Enola is unable to break free from him. Her childhood trauma—stemming from abandonment by her mother after her father's death—makes her terrified of being alone, so she clings to his minimal affection. Despite the toxic dynamic, Enola’s childhood friend, Ruth, serves as a supportive voice of reason, offering advice without pressure. One intriguing aspect of the novel is the namelessness of the man, which felt symbolic to me—he didn’t deserve an identity, reflecting how little he truly mattered in Enola’s life. While there were some oddities in the editing (such as the lack of quotation marks during their early interactions), I appreciated the shift in narrative when Enola finally stands up to him, signaling her personal growth and the breaking of the emotional bubble she’d been living in. The story is unsettling yet poignant, and Ruth was definitely my favorite character.

Eliza Moss’s What It’s Like in Words is a captivating debut novel that delves into the complexities of communication, memory, and the deep, often painful connections that words can forge. Centered around the life of the protagonist, Emma, a writer grappling with personal loss and the limitations of language, the novel examines how we communicate not only with others but also with ourselves.

Moss’s prose is elegant and evocative, effortlessly weaving themes of grief, identity, and the struggle to articulate emotions into a compelling narrative. The book’s introspective quality makes it feel almost like an extended meditation on the nature of expression, with each chapter exploring different facets of language’s power and its inadequacies.

Emma’s journey is both personal and relatable, as she learns that words, while powerful, can never fully contain the depth of human experience. Moss’s careful handling of grief and the ways people express (or fail to express) their innermost feelings creates a novel that is both deeply emotional and intellectually stimulating.

Moss’s skillful storytelling pulls readers in from the first page, inviting them into Emma’s world of introspection and uncertainty. Whether reflecting on the weight of unspoken feelings or the overwhelming task of translating one’s soul into language, the book resonates with anyone who has ever struggled to find the "right words."

✨W H A T I T ‘ S L I K E
I N W O R D S✨
🅶🅴🅽🆁🅴—𝐿𝒾𝓉𝑒𝓇𝒶𝓇𝓎 𝐹𝒾𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃
🗓ℙ𝕦𝕓 𝔻𝕒𝕥𝕖—𝔻𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣 𝟛, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟜

✂️ P L O T L I N E
Eliza Moss’s debut novel dives into the messy reality of being almost 30 and feeling lost. Enola, stuck between wanting a dream life and feeling like she’s failing, falls hard for a mysterious writer who seems perfect but is anything but. As their toxic relationship unfolds, she’s forced to confront what love, friendship, and self-worth really mean.

💭 ⓂⓎ ⓉⒽⓄⓊⒼⒽⓉⓈ
I spent most of my time reading this book feeling either super pissed off or completely confused. It was like watching a train wreck I couldn’t look away from. The more I think about it, the more I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s scarily relatable for so many women, shining a raw, unfiltered spotlight on the kind of toxicity many of us have faced in relationships.
The reason for my 3⭐️ rating is that I couldn’t connect with the writing style at all. It left me feeling confused and with more questions than I’d like to have at the end of a book. I do think the unconventional writing style will resonate with many readers, but the lack of quotation marks and the ambiguous timelines made me feel like a deer in headlights far too often.

📚 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎:
❤️First love
❎Flawed characters
🖤Exploration of toxic relationships
💡Self discovery
👯‍♀️Friendships
📈Coming of age
😢Raw and emotional
✍️Unconventional writing style
📖Debut book

⚠️ 𝙏𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, Domestic abuse.

🖤𝕄𝕐 ℝ𝔸𝕋𝕀ℕ𝔾🖤
⭐️⭐️⭐️

💕Q U O T E: “𝐼 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓂𝓎 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝒹 𝒹𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝒹𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒹𝑒𝒸𝒾𝒹𝑒 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝓎 𝒷𝒶𝒹 𝑜𝓃𝑒𝓈 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝑜𝓃𝑒𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒹𝑒𝒸𝒾𝒹𝑒 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒷𝒶𝒹."

🙏 Thank you NetGalley, Henry Holt Books, and Eliza Moss for this ARC in exchange for my honest thoughts. 💕

This was an incredibly difficult book to read for a few reasons:
- I’m not sure if it was just because it was such an early eARC but the lack of quotations, especially without spacing between the dialogue to make up for it, made it extremely hard to tell which character was speaking or if Enola was just thinking to herself. Maybe that was on purpose to keep the reader’s head muddled, but I wasn’t sure.
- The timeline was confusing with the jumps back and forth without much context. Again, this may have been a purposeful choice.
- [EDIT: I read this on my Kindle and then later looked at the formatting on my Kindle app on my phone. I think there may be a formatting problem with the Kindle version! Some of the formatting didn't translate over and made it much harder to read on Kindle than I think it would have been on the app.]
- Most crucially, in my opinion, it’s hard to understand how this man got his hooks into Enola in the first place. He’s a huge jerk to her right off the bat, she initially thinks he is unattractive, he’s rude to her friends the first time she ever sees him… It was difficult to root for Enola when he gave immediate red flags. What kept me reading wasn’t their relationship but wanting to find out what happened with her father that led to all of this.

Thank you for the eARC.
3.75 stars

I found this book difficult to get into. There was inconsistent pacing, lack of quotation marks for dialogue, and Enola's character made me increasing frustrated throughout this book. For a debut, it had its moments where it was strong. The depth and complexity of the characters was beautiful. but the difficulty connecting with the main character made wanting to read this book feel like a chore. I hope others were able to enjoy this book, but I just do not think it was for me.

This book is exactly what I needed to get over that guy I told all my friends I was over, but wasn’t really over. It’s a raw, unflinching exploration of how we can lose ourselves in someone we know, deep down, isn’t good for us—and why we hold on anyway. Enola’s journey is painfully relatable, capturing the emotional highs and devastating lows of being attached to the wrong person but convincing yourself it’s right.

The writing is gorgeous and deliberate, immersing you in Enola’s headspace as she navigates grief, love, and the slow unraveling of her self-worth. The decision to leave the toxic boyfriend unnamed felt like a quiet stroke of brilliance—he could be anyone, which makes the story feel even more personal. Watching Enola grow, though, was deeply satisfying, even if I wanted to shake her at times.

I read this in one sitting, utterly engrossed, and I know parts of it will stay with me. It’s a beautifully messy ode to learning how to leave, heal, and rediscover yourself.

Thank you to NetGalley and Henry Holt and Co. for this ARC in exchange for my honest review!

Thanks to the publishers and NetGalley for early review copies of What It’s Like in Words in exchange for my honest opinion. I mixed listening to the audio and following along in my physical and ebook copies. The narration is lovely, and, more importantly in my opinion, is easier on the reader as the majority of the text doesn’t use quotation marks until the last five chapters. I’m sure there is a reason for this significant change, but I feel like it’s helpful for other readers to know how the text is set up. The set-up, in addition to the coming-of-age content, made this read feel comparable to a book by Sally Rooney.
This debut novel follows 27 year old Enola through a particularly unhealthy situationship. Enola is working on writing her debut novel, and when she meets a handsome, older, aspiring writer who drops in as a guest at her writing group, she is almost instantly smitten. The two fall into their undefined relationship rather quickly, traveling together to Kenya, where Enola spent the first nine years of her life within months of meeting. The trip is a particularly stressful time for Enola and their budding relationship. Enola’s sister-like friend Ruth sees the way this man is manipulating Enola’s mind and begs her to break it off.
I was rapt, listening and reading as Enola spiraled through the intense emotions associated with young love. At times I was incredibly frustrated by her, but I felt like she could grow and handle herself. The book’s final chapters were unexpected, and I was left with some unanswered questions. This is a strong debut, and I look forward to reading more from the author in the future.

Here is my review of what it’s like in words I really did like this book and I gave it 3.76 stars. The review is linked in my good reads and in my tik tok

3.5 stars! Overall, WHAT IT'S LIKE IN WORDS was a super strong debut. It took me a little time to get into it at first, but once I did, I couldn't help but get absorbed in the story. The depth of the writing and the complexity of the characters were both definite highlights for me. Even though Enola could sometimes be a frustrating character, she was undeniably compelling—all of the characters were, despite their flaws. Eliza Moss does a fantastic job of developing them and their world! I will say that I sometimes struggled with the pacing and some of the stylistic choices in the book. I think the lack of quotation marks made it difficult to fully follow the dialogue (which has also been the case for me with other books I've read in the past that also exclude them). However, I'm sure a lot of readers wouldn't have the same problem! I still enjoyed this one, and I'd definitely be interested to see what Eliza Moss writes next. Thank you to NetGalley and Henry Holt for the ARC.

Enola is a 28 year old writer struggling to find her footing in her unfinished novel. She meets a fellow writer, a 36 year old unnamed red flag. She is quickly infatuated and becomes addicted to this toxic relationship. There are elements of family dynamics and grief as well. This novel spans 2 years and really goes through all the stages of a toxic relationship.

At points it feels so frustrating to see the obviously narcissistic behavior but it’s so realistic for the main character to not see the whole picture. The experience of reading this is being like Ruth, her best friend, and wanting to shake Enola until she understands what he’s doing to her. I liked that the toxic boyfriend was never named, it isn’t important and i’m sure many women (or people) can place the name of an ex-partner in that position. I wish the family grief had been explored a tad more near the end. However, I still felt satisfied with the ending.

This is a very strong debut! I loved the writing style and found it such a compulsive read. I can’t wait to see what Eliza Moss writes next. I will be seated. This is a December Aardvark book club pick if you loved Writers & Lovers, toxic relationships, and complex grief/family dynamics, you should pick this up!

What It’s Like in Words by Eliza Moss has been creating buzz as an emotionally intense debut that dives deep into themes of toxic love, self-discovery, and personal growth. Following Enola, a young woman navigating her late twenties and a deeply fraught relationship with a moody, enigmatic writer, the book captures the spiraling allure of first love and the challenges of defining self-worth outside of it. It's been compared to the raw emotional landscapes of Fleabag and I May Destroy You, which gives you an idea of the vulnerable, unfiltered tone​.

I’d give it a 4/5. It’s the kind of story that hurts in the best way—it’s raw, sometimes uncomfortable, but also cathartic. Enola’s messy choices feel so real, and while it’s not always easy to root for her, you can’t help but understand her. If you love introspective reads with a tinge of darkness and emotional chaos, this one is worth checking out.

Enola is in her late 20s, working in a coffee shop while trying to write a novel on the side. When a new man joins her writing group, she is instantly smitten. He is brooding, moody, difficult--everything she thinks a writer should be. She ignores her best friend Ruth's admonitions that he's narcissistic, self-centered, damaging to her self-esteem. She tries so hard to make it work, even as he seems to try to destroy her.

Ruth is the one constant in her life, after Enola's father died when she was young and her mother decamped to France, their main contact a weekly phone call. When Enola starts to find success with her writing, he becomes more distant and she finds comfort with someone who seems to genuinely care for her.

The timeline in the novel is quirky and difficult to follow and I spent a lot of time trying to figure out if I'd forgotten the name of the jerk Enola is so obsessed with or if it's never given (I think the latter?). Watching Enola ignore so many red flags is trying, although the reader feels quite rational in comparison. Fortunately, Enola does grow and reconciles with her past (and her mother). #WhatItsLikeinWords #NetGalley

this reminded me a lot of acts of desperation by megan nolan thematically and call it what you want by alissa derogatis as far as the actual writing went. i found a lot of the time jumps. a little confusing and the main character was a little passive for my taste, but overall i was entertained enough to finish.

🧶 THE SUMMARY:
Enola is approaching 30—the age she’d imagined she’d have it all figured out. Instead, she’s stuck struggling to write her book and has yet to experience a serious relationship. When she becomes infatuated with a friend-of-a-friend in her writers’ group, their toxic relationship becomes both a distraction from her traumatic past and a harsh mirror to her disillusioning present.

💁🏻‍♀️ MY THOUGHTS:
🔸 I’ll admit, this wasn’t quite the story I expected from the blurb (very far from Fleabag), but it was darkly compelling and impossible to put down. I’ve read books about toxic relationships before, but this one stood out for its stark honesty. The boyfriend isn’t remotely redeeming, and with Enola’s brutally clear-eyed perspective about their emotional and physical connection (or lack thereof), her obsession with him is hard to rationalize. Yet, it feels painfully authentic—cringe-worthy in the best way. 🥴

🔸 What really hooked me, though, was the second half of the book. As Enola recounts her next relationship, she becomes the emotionally distant, detached partner—a complete reversal of her previous dynamic. This shift forces the reader to question everything about the first relationship. Was the boyfriend truly at fault? Or was there more we missed?

Thank you to Henry Holt & Co and NetGalley for the ARC, provided in exchange for an honest review.

As someone who’s been in Enola’s shoes it’s easy to see how quickly people are quick to judge someone. Or say just leave sometimes the red flags aren’t as red as people think. We follow Enola, an aspiring book author in her late twenties, as she navigates life's challenges: trauma, friendships, and the nuances of relationships, both healthy and destructive. Eliza Moss delves deeply into Enola's mind and attitude, perfectly capturing her overthinking and people-pleasing traits. I wanted to shake Enola for ignoring her boyfriend's warning signs, but then I remembered the trauma she had not addressed. Her rocky relationship with her mother complicates her problems. While Enola's circumstances may not be relatable to everyone, there are times when you can't help but identify with her struggles. This book is a profound investigation of perspective. Those who have suffered violent relationships will probably relate to Enola, while others might connect. Ruth, the buddy attempting to pull her out. The plot uses an alternate temporal format, which can be difficult at first. Pay close attention. However, the payout is an incredibly interesting read