Taking place over the course of two years, Enola finds herself suffocating in a horrible relationship. There were times when I found myself a bit lost in the timeline as there was the occasional flashback and flash forward without much of an indication about where I was in the story.

Despite this, I thought the writing was excellent and I found myself wanting to shake some sense into Enola the whole time. He was really awful. You know the writing is good when you find yourself enraged every time a character opens their mouth.

It is certainly not a light read in any way, shape, or form. Eliza Moss writes a dark story about what happens when the wrong person quietly comes into your life. It’s a great debut novel.

Eliza (Sarah) Moss has written a gem of a debut novel centering around friendship, adulthood, the legacies of family trauma, and what is (and is not) love. We follow the main character - Enola - a creative writer in her late 20s, who is trying to find her way in the world as she continues to struggle with unresolved family events, deep feelings of insecurity, and questions about where her life is going. She ages two years, from 28 to 30, over the course of the book and the central themes above -- along with "finding" the love she believes she deserves and how that changes over time -- are threaded throughout.

Ruth is her best friend from childhood (including time growing up together in Kenya) and is a charismatic, stabilizing, strong-willed dynamo of a character, a gay woman who is supported by a wonderful family and enigmatically disinterested in maintaining any steady employment. Ruth's character was a consistent source of joy for me throughout the book. While Enola, broken and trying to heal, spent the majority of the novel as the recipient of poor treatment at the hands of an enigmatic, moody writer over a decade her senior who is a fountain of his own repressed anger and insecurities. The two, Enola and this "boyfriend"/writer and their dysfunctional relationship constitute much of the book. It becomes a bit maddening to endure Enola's voluntary participation in this man's disregard for his feelings but this is not an unrealistic pattern -- and it IS maddening - in fiction and in real life. Moss's writing is so compelling, metaphors so rich, and language so vivid, that even the maddening moments were manageable enough.

In many ways she is in the process of rewriting and editing her own life. She talks about how writing is often deemed a way of controlling life but Enola sees it as a method to lose control. Many references are made to memory and rewriting narratives and attempting to regain and recall what's been forgotten. A central theme of the novel: What is real?

Enola's romantic partner brought to mind early Adam Driver from Lena Dunham's GIRLS and Ruth made me think of Jessa (Jemima Kirke) from the same show.. Ironically, I developed no clear visual "casting" for the main character and I think this spoke to her amorphous nature and personality throughout the book. It was clear that Enola, admittedly, is trying to be all "types" of women -- all of the versions that she believes a man would want: cool, intelligent, clever, independent, sexy, etc.

Sarah Moss is an artist (a method actor per the "About" section) and a very talented creative from everything I've read. I can vibe from her acknowledgements that she is funny, personable, quick-witted, and grateful. I'm guessing that she would be more the "Ruth" character than Enola in real life (though all complete conjecture on my part) and I say brava and well-done to her in penning one heck of a first novel. This was a great read and I recommend it to everyone who finds any of the above topics interesting. This woman can write. I'm looking forward to any and everything to come and believe this book will do very well!! Congrats Eliza.

Thanks to #NetGalley and to #HenryHolt for the opportunity to read and review this book. On shelves Dec 3. 2024.

This book feels particularly painful because if you haven’t lived this relationship, you’ve walked through a friend walking through it. Enola is close to 30 and in that space where nothing has quite taken off in her career and life and follows her journey through an emotionally abusive relationship. Visceral and real, and hard to read at times but primarily because I can feel her desperation so acutely.

This is a very hard book to rate. The main character, Enola, is so frustrating at times that I was mad at her - but also at times I saw so much of myself or my friends in her. She is deeply, madly in love with someone that really doesn't seem to care too much about her most of the time. But those times when he makes her very special . . . she just continues to fall more and more in love. Her best friend, Ruth, tries to help Enola see what her boyfriend is doing to her but well, love, conquers all, right?

At times this book was hard to read because I felt her hurt so deeply as she tried to navigate her relationship as being a "cool" girl, which basically meant putting up with all his crap. I loved the friendship between Ruth and Enola and I think everyone deserves a friendship like this.

Something happens in Enola's childhood that is eluded to quite a bit - but really never is talked about or dealt with properly - for something that consumes so much of Enola's adult life in her thoughts - I wish the author delved a bit deeper here.

This book reminds me so much of another book that I have read but I cannot for the life of me remember the title. I will need to go back and look at all my books from the past 4 years and if I find it I will edit my review. It's about toxic relationships (and not just between a man and a woman) and what they mean to each person - do they help you grow? Or do you lose more and more of yourself in them?

I can't wait to see what else this author writes because this dark, angsty, hard-to-read book was really good. Thank you to NetGalley, Eliza (Sarah) Moss, and Henry Holt & Co for the ARC.

I feel personally attacked by this book, so relatable is the toxic relationship between aspiring writer Enola and “him”. Author Eliza Moss has delivered a debut that actually lives up to its literary companions (Sorrow & Bliss, Cleopatra & Frankenstein, Lily King). I can’t say I enjoyed the read because it felt so close to home and I found myself thoroughly frustrated with Enola as she allows not only her career and friendships suffer in her pursuit of pleasing “him”, but also her self worth. It felt like watching my younger self, seeing the situation so clearly but unable to change the outcome or shake some sense into her. But I think that’s a hallmark of great writing, to be able to put the reader into such a state. To draw such a detailed and honest portrait that the characters and scenarios feel alive, even if the emotions evoked are unpleasant.

What it's like in words packed quite a punch. It is definitely a relationship book, and while there is a pinch of romance in it I would definitely not characterize it as a romance book. The story centers on Enola, who is inexplicably drawn to a man who treats her poorly, puts himself before her, and manipulates her emotionally. Luckily for Enola, she has the best friend a person could ask for who tries to keep her grounded in reality while she is suffering in her relationship, but keeps going back for more.

This book is very character-driven, and I went through phases of feeling deeply compassionate for Enola, alternating with wanting to pull my hair out due to her behavior, and then back to feeling empathy for her again. The mood of this book was pretty dark and brooding, and even when Enola is happy, it's not a warm and fuzzy feeling.

Eliza Moss has a very unique voice in her writing. There is a feeling of disjointedness at times that she creates by inserting snippets of past memories of the MC's childhood in Nairobi. These snippets begin to take a different direction later in the book that very much propel the story.

I think there are a lot of people who will love the dark, brooding, sometimes loathsome atmosphere of the book, though some sensitive readers may need to take care while reading. I look forward to reading more from this author in the future.

Thank you to Netgalley for the advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

#WhatItsLikeInWords
#netgalley

I was surprised to learn this is a debut novel by the author. It was very well written and very interesting. I was immediately pulled in and read it over the course of just two evenings. I would recommend reading the trigger warnings first if you are uncomfortable with certain topics.

Many thanks to the publisher and to NetGalley for the ARC.

This is passable stuff. Female friendship, good relationships and bad ones. A kind of superior click lit, with snappy dialogue and a heroine who finally stands her ground and shows the manipulator the door. BUT… it’s much too long and repetitive. Too many versions of the same thing. Too protracted in its declaration of what happened to the father. A bit too much dickering around with getting published. I hope, next time round, the author can play to her strengths and not work so hard to make her points.

Can we bring back quotation marks? I'm tired of books being so physically tiring to read. I feel like it is supposed to be stylish but I think it gives books a cold, unfeeling vibe. It is distracting and makes it unnecessarily difficult to tell if it is something the person is thinking or actually communicating with another character. It takes away their inner selves and flattens the book. This book was slow enough, we didn't need stylistic choices to make it more of a slog.

Wow this debut blew my mind. I can relate so much to Enola, being consumed by someone who is so wrong for you and treat you badly. It was hard to read at times because it reminded me so much of my last relationship but I think it also helped heal me.

Wow, a twisty, frustrating, ride of a debut. Enola finds herself infatuated with an enigmatic man at her writing group and a relationship ensues. The reader is taken on this push and pull roller coaster of a time, being whiplashed by the male character much like Enola is. We see it on the outside knowing that this is absolutely crazy, but also can understand Enola's confustion when she is in the middle of the tornado. The dual timeline can be hard to follow at times, but the history of Enola's childhood trauma is a helpful plot point understanding her current relationship. A great debut that people will have to wait for!

Thank you to NetGalley and Henry Holt for the ARC!

Enola is on the cusp of turning 30 and beyond disappointed she doesn’t have it ‘all figured out’ by now. She can’t seem to get a move on the novel she’s been writing, her relationship with her mother is almost non-existent and she desperately misses her father who passed when she was younger. When she meets him she starts to think that life will start to fall into place - so much so that she forces herself to remain in a situationship that clearly isn’t good for her.

This was a challenging read and I’m honestly still on the fence as to whether or not I enjoyed it. 😅 I think a lot of us have been in that relationship before - the one that makes you doubt yourself, question your every move and eventually you find yourself walking on eggshells to keep that person happy. Meanwhile you’re gaslighting yourself into believing that yes this is exactly what love is supposed to be like! I have been in that relationship before so it was difficult at time to follow Enola has she digs herself deeper into this relationship with her love interest, who is only referred to as B.

The novel is written as Enola is reflecting back on the two year relationship over the course of one day, something that at times got confusing but I did feel made for some unique story telling. I also felt like we could have revealed some of her backstory earlier on or more frequently but the punch it packed when the truth of her father’s passing was revealed made it worth it.

Hmmm this one started off as little slow for me, but the plot got exceptionally better. I liked how messy the main character became.

This novel is basically about a woman who chooses the wrong men. Attracted to the aloof, ego-centric man who values his own happiness over her own, Enola finds that her obsession with the wrong man forces her to think about her own life and what is important to her.

I enjoyed this novel but could have done without some of the political bits sneaking in here and there. When I read a story, I want to escape the day-to-day stuff, especially politics. Finding the same things in almost every book I’ve read lately has gotten old. If it doesn’t contribute to the story, leave it out.

Overall, it is a decent novel. The main character is maddening but in an entertaining way. I almost wished for her heartbreak with her stupid decisions regarding the men in her life.

The publisher provided ARC via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

I considered DNFing this one many times throughout the beginning. The writing style wasn't for me and Enola was causing me such frustration that I wanted to scream and pull my hair out (or her hair out - but there would have been hair pulling!!!) However, I kept going, settled in, and I'm glad I did. Yes, Enola was beyond exasperating, but her friend Ruth gave her such amazing advice (we all need a Roo in our lives!!!) and tried to help her see the toxicity of her relationship and her own self-worth. Suddenly, it dawned on me that I think many women (me included) could relate to Enola and how she shrunk her life to fit her partner, how she took her cues on whether her life was good or bad depending on their partner's moods and reactions, how she let self-doubt and fear of being alone rule her thoughts and actions. Deep in her heart she knew the truth, but couldn't acknowledge it until she was ready. This was very thought-provoking and had so many passages where I thought "Yes, that right there!!!" If I were a highlighter, this one woud have tons of marks in it. I think those who are willing to sit still and immerse themselves in Enola's world will be glad they read this one.

Nauseatingly real. Why do we all know this man?!
This novel was a hindsight look at a toxic, gaslighting relationship and the aftermath. Enola's story was also sprinkled with lots of self exploration, complicated family and friendships, and growing pains.
I'm obsessed with the title of this novel and the concept. And Moss absolutely nailed it in translation.

"What It's Like in Words" follows a young woman over the course of a multi-year entanglement with a volatile man. It is a memorable and engaging story, and one where I wanted to keep turning the pages to see how it developed. The author did a good job getting inside the mind of the main character and communicating the effect of the relationship, and positioning it in the context of the character's individual trauma as well.

There are some time jumps that are initially confusing, and there is a lot going on in the story, sometimes to the detriment of the story itself. A second romantic partner feels hastily introduced and dispensed with. The main character seems too often to have things happen "to her" or seek out that dynamic vs. displaying clear agency, which can be frustrating to the reader.

Thanks NetGalley and Henry Holt &Company for the advance copy in exchange for my honest review.

I had to DNF this book but I think it’s incredible. Let me explain.

I got about 75% of the way before I felt too closely aligned with Enola and felt too raw and exposed by the relationship in the books. It was so well written and genuinely HURT to get through some of it. As a person who’s gone through something similar more than once, this felt like reliving that experience with every page.

All the ways you make excuses for your partner, gaslight yourself, make yourself smaller to make them happy. It’s all there and so blunt and so crafted to strike at the heart of the issue. The words cry out to the reader that this is so wrong but the character is so well groomed they will never see it.

If you can handle it, read this book. It’s AMAZING for a debut and a impactful exploration of toxic relationships.

I admit I'm a sucker for books where we follow a relationship from beginning to end, and we get to see the transformation of our main character. This book was heartbreaking and so incredibly realistic, and I see this being a relatable read for many. One of my favorite things portrayed in the book is the power of female friendship, and how healing that can be in the midst of difficulties in life. This was an amazing debut by Eliza Moss, and I can't wait to see what else she has in store! Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this title!!

In "What It's Like in Words," the way the main character deals with a tricky relationship with a controlling partner really hit home. It shows how tough it can be to handle such a bad situation, something a lot of people can relate to. The bond between the main character and her best friend is also powerful. The friend isn't afraid to speak up about the bad relationship, which makes their friendship even stronger. These complicated relationships make the book a touching look at how people grow and change through their connections with others.