Thanks to NetGalley for this ARC.

I was initially very excited for this book, the description reads as a plot that I would love, but I just really couldn't get into this novel. I think for me, it was because I hated the main character. She felt whiney and too much. I do understand what the author was going for, and I think this would be great for readers that like problematic POVs.

Maybe if I put it down, I could come back to it. If I do, I will happily come back to this.

While the main character frustrated me with her thoughts and actions, I was still drawn into her journey. I wasn't a fan of all the jumping back and forth in the later part of the book, as it got confusing, but I enjoyed Enola's growth.

What It's Like in Words by Eliza Moss is a beautifully written exploration of relationships, identity, and heartbreak. On a sentence level, the prose is absolutely stunning—Moss has a way with words that pulls you in and holds you there. The main character is deeply compelling, even when her decisions left me exasperated (in the best, most human way).

However, the book’s focus on toxic men made parts of it a tough sit—off-putting at times—and the pacing in the second half felt uneven, jumping forward and then going back - it got a little confusing. Still, if you appreciate lush writing and flawed, relatable characters, this book is well worth the read.

Whew, this novel was an emotional whirlwind for me. If you’ve ever been in a toxic relationship involving any type of abuse, gaslighting, and love bombing, firstly I’m so sorry, and secondly please make sure you are in the right headspace before reading.

Enola is nearly 30, and not at all where she hoped to be by this age. She’s an aspiring writer who hasn’t completed a first draft, she overly romanticizes her childhood, and she has never been in a serious relationship. This all changes when she meets the man of her dreams, and instantly falls madly in love. The problem? The relationship is extremely toxic, and Enola is treated terribly (all while being wholly lovesick).

I felt a range of emotions reading this book: sadness, intense anger, frustration, empathy, and more. At times I wanted to scream at Enola, “JUST LEAVE HIM ALREADY!” And then I realized, I have been Enola in the past. I completely understand the rose-colored glasses, rationalizations, and self-doubts that keep people in toxic relationships. Enola is also unearthing and dealing with childhood trauma, which adds another layer of depth (and another layer I can relate to). All of these realizations gave me an entirely new perspective of Enola and the book as a whole.

I am truly amazed that this is Eliza Moss’s debut novel. Her writing is beautiful, and she has this innate ability to put the reader into Enola’s shoes. It’s a raw and difficult read, but one worth reading. I can already tell you I’ll be reading any book Moss releases in the future!

Now, brb while I emotionally recover from this book (and possibly go discuss it with my therapist)

Big thanks to NetGalley and Henry Holt & Company for the gifted eARC!

For fans of Adelaide, this one is very similar! The way this was written was very unique and I really appreciate the FMC's voice. It will be very relatable to anybody who has been in an all consuming but also toxic relationship.

Thanks to NetGalley and Henry Holt & Co. for this advance reader copy, in exchange for an honest review. What It’s Like In Words is a contemporary story about Enola, who is approaching thirty and feels like her life is at a standstill— professionally, personally, etc. But, then she enters into a new relationship that upends her life and forces much to come to light about herself. It’s important to note here that this relationship is abusive and is at times, difficult and very sad to read, so take caution.

With that said, I do think the writing in this book was fantastic— the author did an excellent job writing from Enola’s perspective and describing the internal struggles she worked through as she tried to justify the abuse she was experiencing, her reactions to it, and how some of those experiences impacted her later actions and other relationships. There were so many times reading this book where I felt angry at, sad for, frustrated at, empathy with, and a whole other host emotions toward Enola. I became very invested in her as a character and was compelled to finish this book quickly, with the hopes of seeing her turn a corner. It’s also clear throughout this book that Ebola has some traumas and grief in her past that is yet unresolved; even though the specifics are not revealed until the end, I think the author does an excellent job at still showing the impact of these unnamed events on Enola and her relationships. If I had to sum up my favorite quality of this book, I would say that it is that it’s truly doing a great job at “showing” versus “telling”.

I would definitely recommend this book to contemporary fiction fans, especially people who like reading about messy relationships, complex emotions, and some of the hefty life questions that come with just growing up. However, this book is centered largely on an abusive relationship that the main character is in so, just take caution when going in! But, I think it’s definitely worth the read and is a truly fantastic debut.

I'll be the outlier. This is the latest in the subgenre of novels about women in their late 20s whose lives are at a standstill and who then find themselves in a toxic relationship with a partner who is a taker not a giver. Enola thinks her unnamed love interest is much better than her friend Ruth (the smart one) does. This tells the story of their relationship in a fashion that you might find confusing at first but trust that it sort of makes sense at the end- if you get that far. The thing is, Enola is not likable. Ruth is but she's not the protagonist. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC. While this wasn't for me, I'm certain it will resonate with others.

The writing in this book was so incisive about an abusive, toxic relationship. Enola’s anxiety about the relationship was palpable; it pulsed off the page. It was so difficult to watch her bending over backwards to try to please a narcissistic partner, unnamed throughout, who had no interest in doing the same for her.

Around 50-60%, the plot changes a bit, and I found the latter half of the book more interesting than the first half. Enola’s world expands somewhat and the reader learns more about who Enola is aside from her relationship. I found her to be a very relatable protagonist; even when I wanted her to make different decisions, I understood why she made the choices she did.

The one problem I had with this book is that her partner is so unlikeable from the very beginning. We’re told he’s charismatic and funny, but I never felt that way about him; he seemed pretty terrible from the jump.

Overall, I thought this book was very well-written; the fact that I had so much anxiety while reading it is such a testament to how well the author wrote the relationship. I’ll definitely read whatever Eliza Moss writes next, and I’m looking forward to more people reading this book because it begs for discussion!

Final note: I absolutely love the cover!

Enola is feeling lost as she approaches her thirties. She hasn’t become a published author, she’s disconnected from her mother, and she is alone. Until she meets a fellow writer and falls in love with him, despite his moodiness and distance.

I loved this real life novel showing a tumultuous relationship. Many of us had had this exact same relationship in our twenties; we are in love but he isn’t there, yet something about him makes us needy and adaptable. The back and forth was cringy but so realistic. I personally have been there and felt this hard. I loved how the main character’s childhood was looked at, and while it was significant to her current situation, it was not the main story. The ending was satisfying and made up for the cringe.

“He made me look at myself. He took me out of my head. He made everything exciting. My blood was pumping for the first time in years.”

What It’s Like in Words comes out 12/3.

This was a TOUGH read. If you’ve ever been in an abusive relationship of any kind, it will probably be triggering because of how spot on it is. She got the nuances of gaslighting, manipulation and the deterioration it will cause on the victims mental health to a T.

At times I couldn’t stand Enola before realizing I used to be her. The empathy for her situation didn’t make going through it with her any less infuriating. If I read a book like this when I was still in the thick of it all, I think it would’ve been incredibly eye opening and helpful.

The writing was immaculate. Raw, devastating, emotional, beautiful. I can’t wait to read literally anything Eliza Moss puts out next.

Thank you to NetGalley for this ARC!

Wow completely blown away ! Started it 2 hours ago and devoured it from start to finish
Gripped compelling page turning
The characters the sitting loved it
The messy on and off relationship the raw realness of who we are and what we want , then don’t as we grow and change written beautifully .
Excitement butterflies of new things to the reality of life and who and how we accept the way people treat us ! Brilliant words come to life

I couldn’t get into ‘What it’s like in Words’ unfortunately and ended up not finishing it, however I think many library patrons will enjoy it, it just wasn’t for me.

Wow was this book stressful for me. I really didn't know what I was getting myself into. Its felt like the same concept of wanting to protect a friend from red flags that you yourself are not taking. And that is exactly what it is like being in an abusive relationship - you know what you need and what's wrong, but you still betray yourself by staying and being gracious to your partner. I had really hard time reading this one, but at the same time it felt cathartic and relatable as much as it was insufferable. This book was a masterpiece and exceptional for a debut work.
I will definitely recommend this book to my girlies. Tough read, but worth it.

Overview: Enola is a writer, though she hasn't turned in work to her writing group in a year. She works at a cafe with her best friend, Ruth, who is always going on interviews for short-lived new jobs. When Enola meets "him" at one of the writing meetings, there's an undeniable chemistry, and Ruth feels magnetically pulled in. Though the relationship is clearly toxic from early on, Enola's complicated family past and struggles with self-esteem keep her coming back. The novel traces Enola's journey as a writer, as a person, and as a friend over around a two year period. Overall: 4

Characters: 4 Enola is that quintessential sad girl "unlikable" heroine that you'll know well if you read these types of books. She struggles with self-esteem and unresolved questions from her past. She feels abandoned by her mother and unstable in her life. She falls for the wrong people, has a tendency to push away those that are trying to help her, and is determined to see the world through the narrow lens she decided on long ago. Enola, of course, is not without sympathetic qualities as she struggles to parse her own existence. She's just trying to figure it all out.

Ruth, Enola's best friend, is the backbone of the story. She's lost in her own way and paints an interesting contrast to Enola. Enola finds Ruth effortless when it comes to fashion and social skills when it comes to herself. They are also opposites when it comes to career, though they work at the same coffee shop. Enola has always known she's going to be a writer, it's just a matter of when. Ruth grew up with artist parents but doesn't have that impulse herself. She's still casting around for her passion.

Not to spoil anything, but one of the most interesting parts of the novel is how both men Enola dates over the course of the book are wrong for her in entirely different ways. It's more of a subplot, but one of these relationships takes on the trope of the "nice guy" and the way they're always cast in such a sympathetic light. Moss reveals how this approach can be just as toxic as the infamous "bad" type.

Plot: 4 This book meanders forward and backwards with the linear unfolding of Enola's relationship with the unnamed man as they go on and off sometimes interrupted by flashes from the present moment. These can be somewhat disorienting and aren't super well-delineated. You start to adapt and figure out more easily how the story bits weave into each other with time. We track Enola facing her past, her writing career, her friendship, and these romantic relationships as she learns a sense of worth. The ending gets a little strange as Moss tries to pull on the idea that's repeated through the book that rests on the multi-verse theory and all the different possibilities that come from choice. She's also, I think, trying to make a play on the idea of Enola being a writer who is even revising in her own memory. This is semi-successful?

Writing: 4 There are some really great lines in this novel. I read it with a highlighter in hand and ended up pulling plenty of great lines from the text. It's a good read, and the pacing is fast. I finished it in two days. While there are certain parts that certainly could've been tighter, I enjoyed Moss's writing and the story overall. It's hard to bring something fresh to exploring a classically toxic relationship, but I was thoroughly intrigued by the shape Enola's particular story would take.

Okay, real talk — Eliza Moss just gets it. This book is like stepping into someone’s beautifully messy mind, where every sentence feels like that perfectly crafted text you never actually send.

You’re getting this review on a day when you wouldn’t normally get a review because if I put this in the queue it will be published long after the book is, and I need all of you to know how great this book is before it comes out. Before I get into the meat of the book, though, quick shout-out to the staff member at Henry Holt & Co. who was at ARSL this fall and told me about this book. The spiel they gave made me pick up the book, and they did not oversell it. This is an incredible book, and I will be recommending it like nobody’s business. I’d also like to thank NetGalley for giving me the ability to access a digital copy of this book as well because having that ebook saved my sanity when I wanted to keep reading but could not comfortably bring the physical ARC with me. Henry Holt & Co. and NetGalley you are my loves <3. Now for the good bit–why you should read this book!

I’ll be perfectly frank–this might be my favorite book I’ve read this year. Eliza Moss’s writing style is simply delectable. There’s something almost dreamlike about the narrative, which is mostly told in retrospective except for brief moments where we exist with the narrator in the aftermath of some mysterious event and except for when we finally catch up to the mysterious event the narrator just experienced and then move through time with her. Even the moments where something absolutely awful is happening, it almost feels like you’re floating through them, like they’re not quite real, which is how imagine it also feels to our narrator, Enola. The whole of the last two years she is sharing with us is somehow both visceral and distant in much the way a particularly vivid dream or nightmare is.

Then there’s the narrative itself–I feel like there is so little I can say about this part without giving away the best surprises of the book, but I will say there was a moment where I read a chapter went “I didn’t expect that,” read the next chapter and immediately went, “holy shit! I didn’t expect that!” And it wasn’t an “I didn’t expect that” in the way that the story was being mean and leading me in a completely false direction or giving me no hints toward the book possibly going the way it suddenly revealed itself too, it was that I didn’t think that would actually happen. Like it was a possibility in the back of my head, but it was not one I took seriously, because there were other things that seemed more likely explanations for what the mysterious event everything hinges around was, and yet! And yet!

And then there are the characters–they are all so incredibly life-like. From Enola to the unnamed boyfriend to the rebound to the best friend to the various side-characters populating the background. They all feel like they could be people that I’ve met or known or loved or hated. Despite floating through a narrative that feels half like a dream, the characters are grounded and real. They make you interested in their lives and care for them, and the story would not be nearly as engrossing as it is if it was not the story of these characters.

If you’re looking for a great piece of literary fiction that explores desire, relationships (romantic, sexual, and platonic), and what it’s like to be a new adult desperate for love, definitely check this book out. If you’re looking for prose that will stay with you and carve itself on your ribcage, then you need this book too. If this book doesn’t go flying off the shelves once it hits them, then people simply don’t know what they’re missing out on. This is a masterpiece.

This felt very Sally Rooney-esque, but ultimately fell a bit flat for me. The trick Moss uses at the beginning of the book -- telling one version of the story then having the character say, no, wait! It was *actually* like this -- fell away in the sloggy middle of the book, only to reappear at the end when Enola starts to deal with the event that split her family. It's a bit of a gimmick, so I get not wanting to use this device all the way through; however, I think the narrative would have been better served using it more, because it would have inserted some ambiguity into the story around Enola's relationship. As is, the reader is left detesting Enola's love interest and wondering why Enola would continue what is so obviously -- to the reader, to Enola's friends, to everyone but Enola -- a toxic relationship.

A week after reading, I had largely forgotten the story.

Thanks to Netgalley for the advance copy.

You know the Christmas episode of The Bear where it’s pure anxiety and chaos and all you wanted to do was take a break and go watch something happy, but then at the end you were like F, that got me in the feels, I really experienced every emotion those characters arced through in the episode? What It’s Like In Words is like that. I hated the process of reading this book because it was NOT fun, but it is a brilliant story that dumps you into chaos and trauma. I forget the names of characters in books I adore and have read dozens of time, but this is sitting squarely in something I will never forget.

It is stressful and painful (and quite frankly, triggering) to read about the emotional abuse and manipulation Enola experiences from her unnamed boyfriend, and the self harm she uses as a coping mechanism. But, as someone who has been in a toxic, emotionally abusive and manipulative relationship, who regularly struggles to convey to others *how* it was so bad, the beauty of this story is how clearly it conveys how we process trauma, how emotional abuse gets you to thoroughly doubt yourself and wonder if you were the problem all along and finding your way out of that darkness.

The timeline is hard to follow, and the lack of quotations makes dialogue feel like a giant run-on sentence lacking pace and control. But the writing style changes with the emotions and when it all starts to make sense, the writing does too, like a Claritin commercial.

I did not enjoy reading this, and I do not want to read it again, but I think I’m better for having experienced this story and for that it’s four stars. Now I need to go read something happy to lower my blood pressure.

I was unable to finish this book and thus will not be posting a full review on my blog. I found the story/language to be so confusing that I had no idea what was happening. Thank you for the opportunity and consideration

Hated her, then realized I kind of was her, then loved her. The parent aspect was so interesting and her relationship with her best friend. Everyone was flawed but also allowed to be.