What It's Like in Words tells the story of Enola and her two-year-long toxic relationship. They met in a writer's group, and he was blunt, enigmatic, and captivating, and she couldn't pull herself away. He was also the king of gaslighting, constantly hung around his ex, and was prone to alarming mood swings. And still, Enola kept pushing past those faults for those rare moments of light.

I love when a book can make me feel strong emotions, and I was so annoyed by both Enola for staying and for her butthead of a boyfriend for his entire personality. Anger-inducing as it was, it did feel realistic and painted the highs and lows of a new relationship very well.

Oh, my dear Enola. This book was like looking into a Time Machine at my 20 year old self. I fear many people will have similar stories and relate to this. Enolas grief and trauma manifested itself in self sabatoging ways. I love that HE was simply just that, HE. That small stylistic choice makes this book feel even more personal. I was completely consumed by this story and deeply invested in all of the characters. It definitely is a quieter book, but it definitely packs a punch.

TW // SPOILERS AHEAD.
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My only gripe was with the section depicting acts of domestic violence. It didn’t seem to be taken as seriously as it should have been. Although their actions post-event are all too accurate, it was never brought up or touched on again, even when Enola finally came to her senses and left him. The emotional abuse and manipulation is discussed, but never the physical events.

Thanks to NetGalley and Macmillan for the advanced reader copy.

I hung in for as long as I could but, even acknowledging that this is literary fiction and that not all characters need to be likeable, I struggled with understanding why Enola was with "him." There was nothing redeeming about him; even when he was being nice to her he was making fun of her. It got to the point that I couldn't stand spending time with her either,

Official rating: 2.5

This was a solid 3 stars until, literally, the last 5 pages. It dropped half a star because I am genuinely confused on what the heck happened in the end.

I enjoyed how the book was set up. It was told as someone in the present reciting a story of the past. It was interesting. It did take me a minute to get used to because the retelling of the past did not use quotations for dialogue but just descriptions of what was said. If that makes sense. It was cool and different.

I felt for Enola. She really gave us the perspective of the feeling we always have of “why don’t they just leave?” I felt like I could understand her thought process while simultaneously knowing she deserved so much better. Her relationship with *him* hurt my heart, for her. *He* was a terrible person. The biggest gaslighter and so insecure. I actually really like that he remains nameless the entire book. Also, we all need a Ruth in our lives…

The truth about her dad was not something I would have seen coming. And how it tied into her feelings on that final day was eye opening. I am so glad she finally stood up for herself but I do wish she would’ve throat punched him cus it was the least he deserved.

Again, I liked the book until the very end. I really can’t figure out if what I read was a trick or if maybe one of the other “drafts” is what happened? The poem thing where it tied in the books name felt very random and didn’t make any sense to me. Would’ve been a very solid 3 stars if it wasn’t for that.

After meeting an arrogant writer in her writer's group, Enola falls into a toxic situationship that she has trouble leaving over the next two years. Readers familiar with abusive relationships may find this a difficult read at times.

Enola is an unpublished writer in her late twenties. She works at a cafe part time with her best friend, Ruth, to make ends meet. When the story opens she is at her writers' group meeting where they share chapters and receive feedback from one another. It's been some time since Enola had much to share, though. One of the regular members invites a friend to come along, but the group finds him arrogant and rude. He and Enola end up on the same bus on their way home and they begin a toxic romance.

I kept waiting for this story to reveal something, but it felt like a continual build to me. The writing is good, and parts of the story are compelling. I never felt connected to the characters, though, which made it hard to say I enjoyed it. The story goes back in forth in time, without any notice, and has a lot of Enola's inner monologue about her childhood, the loss of her father, and her heartbreak. There were also no quotation marks indicating dialogue, which takes a bit to become accustomed to. It is not my favorite genre, so I am sure that had an impact on my enjoyment level, so if this genre is your thing, give it a try.

Thank you to NetGalley, the author and publisher for the advanced copy in exchange for my honest review.

I loovveee when I'm able to get both an advanced print AND audio copy, having both to compare and reference is ideal! So right off the bat a huge thank you to Eliza Moss, Henry Holt & Company, MacMillan Audio, and NetGalley for the opportunity to read early!

Gaslighting meets our (funny I say "our" bc I'm in the US and they weren't but it still fits) patriarchal society meets coming to terms with someone you love having qualities you don't - and the possibility those qualities are their dominant ones meets the dualities of wanting. Written beautifully, it didn't take long for me to get through this book. What felt like a behind the scenes look at being a writer was just a bonus.

FK THIS ONE HURT!
If there is any tinge of pain from an ex, BEWARE(Or am I just projecting? I'm in therapy. This isn't about me)!

This one really got me. Projecting or not, I don't think it will be difficult to identify with Enola. I found it near impossible to not self-reflect. Whether it's as serious as an ex spouse or as simple as an ex crush, if you really think hard enough isn't there <i>someoneee</i> that you find your thoughts wandering with? Were they the one that got away? You were so happy then... You guys always had so much fun together... Why did you end things, anyway? Wonder how they're doing now...
Familiar rabbit hole?
If not, maybe recalling a shitty ex you had will come more easily? Weird how you could have been so mad at him back then, he's so cute. And he's probably changed by now... Plus, I've changed! It'll be different this time.

If you enjoyed this, I'd also suggest Scaffolding by Lauren Elkin, My Husband by Maud Ventura and Liars by Sara Manguso.

This was such a raw and honest depiction of an emotionally abusive relationship. It was frustrating to see Enola constantly go back to her toxic boyfriend and I found myself screaming in my head "please leave him!" but as she opens up more about her childhood trauma I was able to understand why she acted the way she did. I still find myself thinking about this book a couple of days after finishing it. The writing was absolutely beautiful.

´So much of my happiness depended on his expression’

Enola is an aspiring writer in her 20s when she meets an older guy in a writer’s group. They start a whirlwind romance where Enola is so caught up in that she can’t see straight. Despite her best friend Ruby’s cautions, she can’t see that B is a giant walking red flag who belittles and gaslights her at every opportunity.

Depicted in an almost stream-of-consciousness by a slightly older and wiser Enola of the two years with B, What It’s Like Words can sometimes be a frustrating read. Enola’s inability to see B’s lies and terrible treatment of her, her inability to see how her father really was can make the reader feel like they want to reach out shake Enola to her sense like her best friend tries to do. The length and too many details made me almost want to quit the book several times but I really liked it by the end.

Thank you so much for the ARC!

Sometimes debuts truly just sweep me off my feet... I found myself reflected in Elona as she navigates this toxic relationship. Moss handles narcissistic abuse and gaslighting with sensitivity, but also in a way that is gut-wrenching and painfully familiar to those of us who have experienced this in relationships ourselves. The way Moss weaves the narrative had me so swept up that I felt I was Elona herself, falling for the red flags and obsession. It was difficult to continue reading at times, but in the best way, because it's extremely accurate. I would say know your trigger warnings before reading, but this is a must-read for its stellar writing and brutal honesty.

If you are ready for your next great read, pick up What It's Like in Words. I could not put this book down.

Woof… This was a rough book. Overall the topic made me mad and the writing was confusing too. I dislike books where none of the dialogue is quoted, but that’s a personal preference. The main character finds any reason to hate the man she’s dating - even if they’re nice or an absolute asshole. This made me so frustrated she couldn’t see how great or terrible these men were. This book also wasn’t a quick read and one chapter was over an hour long. I wish I would have skipped this one because the whole book felt like a run on sentence.

A young woman in her late twenties, Enola, is trying to write a novel. At one of the writing group meetings, a brash guy shows up, a friend of one of them, and Enola is hooked. She can’t get enough of this guy. They date, become a couple, but it’s not an easy relationship. He is selfish and Enola’s moods depend on his moods, whose also a writer. I found the book a little addictive like Enola is to this guy, who clearly is not good for her. I loved the ending!

Life will make you live the same thing over and over until you learn your lesson. Shoutout to all the Ruth's in the world who love unconditionally over and over again

If you’re into lit fic and messy women fiction this is going to be for you. The Fmc was def going through it but it made me feel for them way more. I was thoroughly engaged. Thank you for the arc!

What It’s Like In Words was an interesting read for sure. The premise immediately hooked me as I love obsession-driven lit-fic. There were admittedly points in this book that I wanted to DNF and the overall theme of toxicity was A LOT sometimes. The writing wasn’t necessarily my favorite style but I think this will either be a love or a hate type of read for people when this is out (similar to the divisiveness of My Year of Rest and Relaxation…)

I enjoyed reading this book for the raw and real account many people have falling in love/limerance and attaching themselves to others to navigate their own identity and underlying mental health struggles. The author gave the narrator a strong and unique voice that resonated with my own thoughts. The back and forth between events also helped keep me engaged until the end.

This was a good one!

I really liked how the Author depicted something so real to so many, being gas lit and thinking love is supposed to be that was, it is not, but it is good to draw attention to the nuances of the situation between the FMC and the MMC.

I felt like the plot was good and that the dialogue felt very believable, I would consider checking out more works from this Author.?

Thank you to the Author Eliza Moss for writing this book and sharing it with me.

Big Thank you as well to Henry Holt & Co. along with NetGalley for my no cost ebook copy of “What It’s Like in Words”.

I received this advance review copy at no personal cost and all opinions are my own.

The novel is written as Enola is reflecting back on the two year rollercoaster relationship she had with B. At times the dual timelines get a bit confusing..

To quote from another reviewer on Goodreads, "The author did a fantastic job portraying the addictive drug-like highs and withdrawals of love.".

It's so easy to relate to Enola's terribly toxic relationship.

Congratulations to Eliza Moss on her powerful debut novel. I can't wait to read her next book!

"i hid the parts of myself that i didn't like and sometimes i wondered how much of me was left visible after that."

"sometimes the good bits of people aren't the rule, they're the exception."

"because the way i love you is every definition, every dictionary, every translation."

this book is like "tolerate it" by taylor swift if it was a full on novel and not a 3 minute song.
i'm beginning to feel like i can't read romance in general, whether it's a happy ending or sad ending. a cheesy/sappy story makes me feel like it's unrealistic, but a frustrating story makes me want to rip all of my hair out, like GIRL GET UP.

the manipulation and emotional whiplash made my head spin at times, and it's written with scary accuracy. i found myself second - guessing my stance every other chapter, the divisive line between right and wrong becoming dangerously blurred. how much of love is enduring, how much of love is endurance?

the writing was incredibly beautiful and moving, and the intoxicating air of first love was captured so well. i really resonated with the exploration of the "cool girl" narrative and how suffocating it can be. while there was a lot of real character development that i ultimately found satisfying, the bullshit she put up with and gaslighting felt juvenile at times -- again, girl get up.

thank you to NetGalley & Henry Holt Books for this eARC, available December 3rd 2024