What It’s Like in Words is a poignant and raw examination of toxic relationships and self discovery. The main character Enola is nearing thirty and grappling with unmet expectations and societal pressures. Her partner is a manipulative narcissist, and we watch helplessly as Enola diminishes her own wants while clinging to the hope that he can change and their love is meant to be. Eliza Moss’ writing feels incredibly authentic and captures experiences and feelings that, although hard to admit, hit close to home.

I was happy for the main character. Her growth was lovely to see. The friendship dynamic was realistic and especially touching

I knew going in to this book that I would be triggered. But the rage I felt every time that man was mentioned, spoke, or even thought of, had me burning calories. Everyone needs to read this book, especially young women. This book was heartbreaking for the simple fact that it was so realistic. My favorite part of this book was Ruth. We all need a Ruth! She was a girl's girl through and through. Ruth was supportive without being demeaning towards Enola. Which was no small feat because while I empathized with Enola she was so frustrating that I wanted to reach through the book and shake some sense into her. This was a phenomenal book and Eliza Moss deserves all the flowers for this one.

As a thirty-something, I identified early twenty-something me in this book. All those toxic partnerships and situations you find yourself in when you’re still a kid but not quite an adult hit home. The honesty and directness of the author in writing what this really “feels” like is on point. In my current life, I found myself screaming at Enola and the moves she would make. I felt an urge of “no, I did that this will go wrong.” But as someone who used to be much like her, I understand it. Her choices and decisions make sense to anyone who was ever a young adult figure out life.

Infuriatingly addictive! This debut blew me away. I have never met a character I wanted to shake so bad in my entire life, but Moss’ writing style kept me engaged. The way I was able to connect with Enola despite hating how she was acting is a testament to Moss’ skill. I truly felt that I was experiencing everything Enola was experiencing in real time. This was an insightful read about toxic relationships and how our perception of events changes everything.

I enjoyed this messy girl book. I'd say this book was written for anyone who has ever found themselves in a toxic relationship and instead of leaving they continue to try to find the good when there is none. Sadly, I saw a lot of my 20 year old self in this main character. Maybe that's why I got so frustrated in the second half of the book. I wanted the main character to have more self respect.

I didn't love the book because towards the end there was a second sub plot that was a little confusing since it seemed to just be thrown in there. I also would like to petition that we stop doing books where there are no quotation marks. Sometimes I couldn't tell when the main character was talking to someone or when she was just thinking something internally.

Ugh, we all know a man like the one in this book. This book was a hard read due to the toxic, emotionally abusive relationship that revolves at the center of everything. Enola was both frustrating and relatable throughout. It’s so much easier to see the negatives in a relationship when you’re the one on the outside. I thought the depiction of the gaslighting was done very well, and at times I was even confused as to who was right or misremembering. I absolutely loved Ruth, as well as most of the other side characters. This is both a spot-on and frustrating read focusing on abusive relationship cycles.

Thank you to Henry Holt & Company and NetGalley for the ARC.

Have you ever been wordless? That’s how I feel right now after that rollercoaster. I may come back and change my rating as I’m not sure yet but it’s definitely a 4.5⭐️. I’m just wondering whether to round up or not.

The opinions expressed are honest and my own:. but I am thankful to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC of this title.

I don’t think I’ve ever went from hating a book to loving it within a chapter but here we are. I didn’t know what I was really getting into and at first I was wondering how in the world it had gotten published. It came off as a draft to me. Limited punctuation. Like verbal diarrhea spewed onto a page.

But then I reassessed, thought of the title and realized it was intentional. I was able to embrace what the author was trying to do. In the end, I’m here for it! But it took me a minute to get there.

I completely dislike the FMC Enola. She is a person that if
You knew her in real life you would either try to shake some sense into her or just pity her from afar.

If you ever wanted some practical examples of gaslighting.. here is a whole novel full of them!

I can’t say that I will go back and read this again but that’s ok because it’s going to live rent free in my head for a bit.

Do I recommend reading it? 100% yes! Just know you’ll
Be uncomfortable and angry at times but you’ll
Come out the other end!

- [ ]
Rating
My rating system since GoodReads doesn’t have partial stars and I rarely round up.

⭐️ Hated it
⭐️⭐️ Had a lot of trouble, prose issues, really not my cup of tea (potentially DNF’d or thought about it)
⭐️⭐️⭐️ Meh, it was an ok read but nothing special
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Really enjoyed it! Would recommend to others
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Outstanding! Will circle back and read again

“I had asked if he was all right, and he’d said he was fine in a tone that warned me not to ask again.”

Oof. Every woman I know, knows that feeling.

“I didn’t think about my pleasure because it wasn’t my pleasure I was addicted to.”

I hate this guy so much. He sucks so so much. This book is hard to read, honestly, it reminds you of that terribly toxic, emotionally abusive relationship you had once. Ebola is our narrator. And her boyfriend is all of our boyfriends. Blech. He is awful. In that “not obvious” way.

Iykyk, and I hope you don’t..
Thanks to NetGalley and HenryHolt for the ARC.

"I didn't think about my pleasure because it wasn't my pleasure I was addicted to."

It's a tale as old as time. Young woman makes herself small for a man. Relatable and infuriating as life in your late twenties (and early 30s) before you wise up can be. I didn't think a book could make me so furious with a protagonist and also myself in my youth. However, like Enola, I'll try and give myself grace.

Brace yourselves, ladies. This one is hard to read.

Taking place over the course of two years, Enola finds herself suffocating in a horrible relationship. There were times when I found myself a bit lost in the timeline as there was the occasional flashback and flash forward without much of an indication about where I was in the story.

Despite this, I thought the writing was excellent and I found myself wanting to shake some sense into Enola the whole time. He was really awful. You know the writing is good when you find yourself enraged every time a character opens their mouth.

It is certainly not a light read in any way, shape, or form. Eliza Moss writes a dark story about what happens when the wrong person quietly comes into your life. It’s a great debut novel.

Eliza (Sarah) Moss has written a gem of a debut novel centering around friendship, adulthood, the legacies of family trauma, and what is (and is not) love. We follow the main character - Enola - a creative writer in her late 20s, who is trying to find her way in the world as she continues to struggle with unresolved family events, deep feelings of insecurity, and questions about where her life is going. She ages two years, from 28 to 30, over the course of the book and the central themes above -- along with "finding" the love she believes she deserves and how that changes over time -- are threaded throughout.

Ruth is her best friend from childhood (including time growing up together in Kenya) and is a charismatic, stabilizing, strong-willed dynamo of a character, a gay woman who is supported by a wonderful family and enigmatically disinterested in maintaining any steady employment. Ruth's character was a consistent source of joy for me throughout the book. While Enola, broken and trying to heal, spent the majority of the novel as the recipient of poor treatment at the hands of an enigmatic, moody writer over a decade her senior who is a fountain of his own repressed anger and insecurities. The two, Enola and this "boyfriend"/writer and their dysfunctional relationship constitute much of the book. It becomes a bit maddening to endure Enola's voluntary participation in this man's disregard for his feelings but this is not an unrealistic pattern -- and it IS maddening - in fiction and in real life. Moss's writing is so compelling, metaphors so rich, and language so vivid, that even the maddening moments were manageable enough.

In many ways she is in the process of rewriting and editing her own life. She talks about how writing is often deemed a way of controlling life but Enola sees it as a method to lose control. Many references are made to memory and rewriting narratives and attempting to regain and recall what's been forgotten. A central theme of the novel: What is real?

Enola's romantic partner brought to mind early Adam Driver from Lena Dunham's GIRLS and Ruth made me think of Jessa (Jemima Kirke) from the same show.. Ironically, I developed no clear visual "casting" for the main character and I think this spoke to her amorphous nature and personality throughout the book. It was clear that Enola, admittedly, is trying to be all "types" of women -- all of the versions that she believes a man would want: cool, intelligent, clever, independent, sexy, etc.

Sarah Moss is an artist (a method actor per the "About" section) and a very talented creative from everything I've read. I can vibe from her acknowledgements that she is funny, personable, quick-witted, and grateful. I'm guessing that she would be more the "Ruth" character than Enola in real life (though all complete conjecture on my part) and I say brava and well-done to her in penning one heck of a first novel. This was a great read and I recommend it to everyone who finds any of the above topics interesting. This woman can write. I'm looking forward to any and everything to come and believe this book will do very well!! Congrats Eliza.

Thanks to #NetGalley and to #HenryHolt for the opportunity to read and review this book. On shelves Dec 3. 2024.

This book feels particularly painful because if you haven’t lived this relationship, you’ve walked through a friend walking through it. Enola is close to 30 and in that space where nothing has quite taken off in her career and life and follows her journey through an emotionally abusive relationship. Visceral and real, and hard to read at times but primarily because I can feel her desperation so acutely.

This is a very hard book to rate. The main character, Enola, is so frustrating at times that I was mad at her - but also at times I saw so much of myself or my friends in her. She is deeply, madly in love with someone that really doesn't seem to care too much about her most of the time. But those times when he makes her very special . . . she just continues to fall more and more in love. Her best friend, Ruth, tries to help Enola see what her boyfriend is doing to her but well, love, conquers all, right?

At times this book was hard to read because I felt her hurt so deeply as she tried to navigate her relationship as being a "cool" girl, which basically meant putting up with all his crap. I loved the friendship between Ruth and Enola and I think everyone deserves a friendship like this.

Something happens in Enola's childhood that is eluded to quite a bit - but really never is talked about or dealt with properly - for something that consumes so much of Enola's adult life in her thoughts - I wish the author delved a bit deeper here.

This book reminds me so much of another book that I have read but I cannot for the life of me remember the title. I will need to go back and look at all my books from the past 4 years and if I find it I will edit my review. It's about toxic relationships (and not just between a man and a woman) and what they mean to each person - do they help you grow? Or do you lose more and more of yourself in them?

I can't wait to see what else this author writes because this dark, angsty, hard-to-read book was really good. Thank you to NetGalley, Eliza (Sarah) Moss, and Henry Holt & Co for the ARC.

I feel personally attacked by this book, so relatable is the toxic relationship between aspiring writer Enola and “him”. Author Eliza Moss has delivered a debut that actually lives up to its literary companions (Sorrow & Bliss, Cleopatra & Frankenstein, Lily King). I can’t say I enjoyed the read because it felt so close to home and I found myself thoroughly frustrated with Enola as she allows not only her career and friendships suffer in her pursuit of pleasing “him”, but also her self worth. It felt like watching my younger self, seeing the situation so clearly but unable to change the outcome or shake some sense into her. But I think that’s a hallmark of great writing, to be able to put the reader into such a state. To draw such a detailed and honest portrait that the characters and scenarios feel alive, even if the emotions evoked are unpleasant.

What it's like in words packed quite a punch. It is definitely a relationship book, and while there is a pinch of romance in it I would definitely not characterize it as a romance book. The story centers on Enola, who is inexplicably drawn to a man who treats her poorly, puts himself before her, and manipulates her emotionally. Luckily for Enola, she has the best friend a person could ask for who tries to keep her grounded in reality while she is suffering in her relationship, but keeps going back for more.

This book is very character-driven, and I went through phases of feeling deeply compassionate for Enola, alternating with wanting to pull my hair out due to her behavior, and then back to feeling empathy for her again. The mood of this book was pretty dark and brooding, and even when Enola is happy, it's not a warm and fuzzy feeling.

Eliza Moss has a very unique voice in her writing. There is a feeling of disjointedness at times that she creates by inserting snippets of past memories of the MC's childhood in Nairobi. These snippets begin to take a different direction later in the book that very much propel the story.

I think there are a lot of people who will love the dark, brooding, sometimes loathsome atmosphere of the book, though some sensitive readers may need to take care while reading. I look forward to reading more from this author in the future.

Thank you to Netgalley for the advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

#WhatItsLikeInWords
#netgalley

I was surprised to learn this is a debut novel by the author. It was very well written and very interesting. I was immediately pulled in and read it over the course of just two evenings. I would recommend reading the trigger warnings first if you are uncomfortable with certain topics.

Many thanks to the publisher and to NetGalley for the ARC.

This is passable stuff. Female friendship, good relationships and bad ones. A kind of superior click lit, with snappy dialogue and a heroine who finally stands her ground and shows the manipulator the door. BUT… it’s much too long and repetitive. Too many versions of the same thing. Too protracted in its declaration of what happened to the father. A bit too much dickering around with getting published. I hope, next time round, the author can play to her strengths and not work so hard to make her points.

Can we bring back quotation marks? I'm tired of books being so physically tiring to read. I feel like it is supposed to be stylish but I think it gives books a cold, unfeeling vibe. It is distracting and makes it unnecessarily difficult to tell if it is something the person is thinking or actually communicating with another character. It takes away their inner selves and flattens the book. This book was slow enough, we didn't need stylistic choices to make it more of a slog.

Wow this debut blew my mind. I can relate so much to Enola, being consumed by someone who is so wrong for you and treat you badly. It was hard to read at times because it reminded me so much of my last relationship but I think it also helped heal me.