Member Reviews
This book was a timely read for me, as I work my way towards divorce. It was PERFECT. It touched so many subjects around divorce. It was empowering. It answered questions I had. It was positive and uplifting, despite divorce usually being such a hard topic. I absolutely 100% recommend this book to any women considering divorce, or going through one.
Thanks NetGalley, for the ARC!
Thank you NetGalley & RB Media for this advanced copy of The D Word on audiobook! I enjoyed Kate’s narration - you can see and hear the detail that went into this book and her research on marriage & divorce. As someone going through similar things as discussed in this book, Kate held compassion in her words and gives such knowledge and insight into something that can be such a dark time and event. This book will be so vital and educating to so many women asking these questions regarding their marriages!
Kate Anthony brings a compassionate view to divorce, She guides you through the hard questions, all the time encouraging you to be true to yourself. Her voice is clear and strong, and you feel her support in every word.
I recommend this to any woman who may be questioning the future of her marriage. This isn't a book to lead you to divorce, but a guide to determine if that is indeed what is best for you.
Holy cow was this thorough! It is aimed more at women who are being abused in their relationships and gives all kinds of great advice and excellent resources. The only thing I would change is the cover. I would make it less conspicuous for reasons.
Narration is great and well timed!
"The D Word" by Kate Alexander is an excellent reference guide to divorce as well as therapy in a book. If one follows the suggested journal activities, it can help a woman decide if ending her marriage is the right choice or not. There is a quiz at the end of chapter 4 to help understand if you are in a healthy relationship or not. I found this particularly helpful.
It moves on to chapters about abuse of different types: physical, emotional, financial, and cyber. Divorce is a big emotional thing as well as a legal and financial thing, and they occur all at once. A key piece of advice is to never go to therapy with an abuser because abuse isn't a relationship issue.
There are chapters about how to tell your spouse the news, then how to tell your kids, and then a chapter about the many things you need to decide with your spouse regarding the kids. She repeatedly advises to put your children at the CENTER, but do not put them in the middle.
How Divorce Works is a section that teaches us types of divorce with the law: Kitchen Table, Mediation, Collaborative, Litigation. It also tells us that every state has different laws regarding divorce, which one needs to research individually.
I like Bill Eddie's BIFF method of communication: Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm. This can work for any relationship when communication starts to break down.
There is a big part about journaling to help move on after deciding to divorce, but it may also be useful in making the decision. For instance, make a gratitude list about the relationship, and make a forgiveness list of what you need to forgive your spouse for and what you need to ask them to forgive you for.
With this book, I learned that my marriage isn't in as much trouble as I had thought, but there is still a lot to work on if we both decide that is the path for us. If we both do all the self work and then communicate well, it could help us a lot.
I listened to the audiobook version Narrated by the author. I noticed she got stressed in some parts, with her voice getting high, faster, and sharp. Her voice was still clear and understandable.
Thank you to Netgalley, High Bridge Audio, and Kate Anthony for providing this audiobook for review purposes.
I wish I had this book years ago. I may have made different decisions, or maybe I wouldn’t have. Who knows. By the end of listening to this audiobook I felt even more at peace with my decision to leave my marriage and with how I have conducted myself in this process. Anthony made me feel seen and understood.
Anthony uses a mix of personal anecdotes, research and interviews to support women in determining if and how to leave a marriage. Anthony is clear that this book is written by and mostly for women like her, and like me, CIS women in heterosexual marriages who are upper to middle class. While she does offer some support beyond this the book is mostly for women who meet that definition. Anthony does reference clearly other resources and research including contact methods as of the publication of the book.