Thank you to ECW Press and NetGalley for giving me access to an e-arc of this title.
I don't read a lot of memoirs, but as soon as I read the description for this I knew this would be a vital read for me and in my opinion, many others.
This is a challenging but beautiful read. The honesty of the experience of mental illness, trauma, and challenging family situations made me feel less like a monster. Hearing/reading the experience of the author in connection with fantasy stories, psychology, and in society, allowed me to really think and process mental illness and trauma from my own perspective but also look at it from a sociological view point. This is unique and very well done. There were so many interesting and thought provoking aspects. To name a couple... who are the author's a mentally ill persons story? What's the effects of black and white thinking on the experience of mental illness and the perception of it? Can some mental illness be prevented by changing the reactions to childhood trauma? Should someone who wishes to no longer be alive be allowed to choose assisted death?
I would recommend this to anyone who has mental illness, has friends/family members with mental illness, or wants to be a more understanding human... basically, anyone who is open to reading this absolutely should! However, I would recommend reading when on a resilient day. There are definitely some moments that could be triggering for those that have been through trauma and/or mental illness.
I also really appreciated that K.J. Aiello narrated the audio themselves. There has also clearly been a lot of research and learning happened over a long period of time. There are many sources referenced so it's not a 2 d experience of mental illness. It incorporates personal thoughts and processes, psychological research that helps to explain different aspects, plus interludes into fiction that really explores trauma and mental illness and how we survive.

This is a solid memoir from an author using books (especially fantasy) to understand their mental illness. Should be high school required reading, in my opinion.

I was immediately hooked by this quote - “The Monster and the Mirror asks us to identify the true villain among us: mental illness, or society’s unwillingness to accept it as reality for so many. A gutting, beautiful, and insightful book.” ― AGA Wilmot, author of Withered and The Death Scene Artist. I think this book is important and helps readers understand the people and world around them a bit better.

The Monster and the Mirror by K.J. Aiello is a powerful and thought-provoking memoir that blends personal narrative with cultural criticism, using fantasy as a lens through which to examine and deconstruct perceptions of mental illness. Aiello’s journey is not just an exploration of their own struggles but also a broader commentary on how society frames mental health, particularly through the metaphors and tropes present in popular fantasy literature and media.

Aiello’s love of fantasy, from The Lord of the Rings to Game of Thrones, serves as both a comfort and a guide throughout their life. They beautifully draw parallels between their internal battles with mental illness and the epic struggles of the heroes and monsters in these fantastical worlds. The monsters that populate these stories are often misunderstood, much like those living with mental illness in the real world, and Aiello asks critical questions about who gets to define sanity, heroism, and villainy. This exploration is especially poignant as it challenges the harmful stereotypes that often reduce people with mental illness to one-dimensional figures of violence or instability.

What makes The Monster and the Mirror truly stand out is the way Aiello deftly weaves together memoir and cultural critique. They use their own life experiences—raw, honest, and at times heartbreaking—to illustrate larger societal issues. Through engaging analysis of well-known stories, Aiello critiques the simplistic binaries of “good” versus “evil” and “madness” versus “sanity” that so often dominate both literature and real-life perceptions of mental health. These stories of dragons and wizards, Aiello argues, can be a source of empowerment but also a mirror that reflects harmful biases in the way mental illness is viewed.

The book’s strength lies in its blend of vulnerability and scholarship. Aiello’s personal narrative is filled with moments of insight and resilience, showing how their fascination with fantasy became a tool for survival and self-understanding. At the same time, their deep dive into the cultural portrayals of mental illness offers readers a more empathetic and nuanced understanding of how media influences societal views on this subject. Aiello’s writing is tender and compassionate, inviting readers into both their personal journey and a broader conversation about mental health care.

The Monster and the Mirror is not just for fans of fantasy or those interested in mental health—it’s for anyone who has ever felt misunderstood or has struggled with the weight of societal expectations. Aiello’s work invites readers to rethink the way we categorize and treat those who live with mental illness, pushing for more compassionate and empathetic care. This is a book that will resonate long after the last page is turned, offering a pathway to understanding both ourselves and others more deeply.

everyone needs to read this book! Part biography and part self help this book dives deep into mental illness. This was a powerful read that unexpectedly helped me so much!

I pre-ordered THE MONSTER AND THE MIRROR by K.J. Aiello before I finished reading the introduction in the e-galley. (This is why I didn't realize my review was overdue.) One of the biggest questions I encourage my students to ask is "what if?" to help develop new and in-progress stories. However, I never considered how "what if" could hit on a personal level. Many of my students have disclosed they are neurodivergent and/or struggle with mental health, both of which have been (at best) misrepresented in media of all forms and (at worst) portrayed as villains/monsters. Thanks to Aiello's work and this book, I have an additional perspective on what some of my students may need to feel invited to play and new ideas for inviting all students to reconsider or reconfigure what they think they know. THE MONSTER AND THE MIRROR is a fantastic new addition to my craft book collection and one that has already made an impact on my teaching.

I took my time with this book, intentionally slowing down to savor every moment and fully absorb its rich insights. It masterfully combines research and memoir, providing a unique lens on mental illness that spans a wide range of cultural references, from classic literature to contemporary video games.

The author’s exploration is both profound and deeply personal, allowing readers to connect with the material on multiple levels. Each chapter unfolds with a blend of compelling narratives and thoughtful analysis, creating a tapestry that is both informative and emotionally resonant. The writing is beautiful and visceral, drawing you in and making you feel the weight of the subject matter.

This book is not just a collection of facts; it’s a heartfelt exploration that challenges stereotypes and encourages empathy. It’s a must-read for anyone seeking to better understand mental illness, as it invites you to reflect on your own perceptions and experiences. Whether you're well-versed in the topic or just beginning to explore it, this book offers valuable insights that will linger long after you turn the final page.

In part memoir, part analysis of stories (movies, tv, and others), the author takes a look about how society treats mental illness.

I did not realize this was as much of a memoir as it was when I picked it up. I really enjoyed the analysis using pop culture and thought it was really successful. However, I normally don't pick up memoirs unless it is from someone I am familiar with. I could see the connections the author was making and they did so successfully. however, it was still just heavy reading for a memoir of a person I have never heard of before.

I received my copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

The Monster and the Mirror by K.J. Aiello takes the reader on an honest and very personal journey through mental illness described through the lens of cultural references ranging from The Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia to Game of Thrones , Frankenstein and Silent Hill. This is a book that really made me think about how these stories can be seen as a representation o illness and how so often they lean into stereotypes. For Aiello these works were also often a place of refuge and a source of comfort and reading about their relationships with and perspectives on many familiar tales made me think and reevaluate my own experiences.
This was a fascinating and original read and one I highly recommend.
I read and reviewed an ARC courtesy of NetGalley and the publisher, all opinions are my own.

I really appreciated K.J. Aiello's honesty and research for this book. I felt that it was well researched and offered a unique perspective on mental health and culture.

When I finished this book, I couldn’t help but think about The Backwards Hand and No One Cares About Crazy People. Both of these reads tackled society’s views on disability and mental illness, delivering with strong, unique voices. The Monster and The Mirror shares that same powerful passion for a topic that truly deserves more discussion. The author’s tone really stands out here, making you feel like you can’t help but give her your full attention and, at the same time, deeply relate to her experiences.

As a person with a disability, I found so many moments in this memoir where I felt truly seen and heard. It also made me reflect on the ways in which communities marginalize or engage with those living with mental illness. One of the standout elements for me was the author’s brilliant analysis of how pop culture portrays illness and disability—so often reduced to underdeveloped, misunderstood, or downright evil tropes.

I can’t recommend the audiobook enough for this read. I had the privilege of receiving both the digital ARC and the audiobook ARC, and hearing the author narrate her own story added such a deeper layer of connection. Her changes in tone and cadence elevated that vulnerability that’s already present in the writing. After all, who better to tell your story than you? Having the author’s voice deliver the raw and real moments only made everything resonate that much more.

I will definitely be keeping an eye out for more from K.J. Aiello. She has a perspective and voice that not only makes her stories her own but also challenges the way we look at characters—and even ourselves. I have to genuinely applaud her for capturing so many raw moments while keeping the read engaging in its own way.

Thank you to NetGalley, ECW Press, K.J. Aiello, and ECW Press Audio. I can’t wait to pick up a physical copy.

This was everything. I am sorry I did not complete my review sooner because I finished this a bit ago and loved it! It is important to have honest and simplistic books on the experience of mental illness.

Interesting book about what`s it like to live with mental illness, how society behaves and labels affected individuals, and how mental health issues are portrayed in our culture. The cultural references are quite fascinating, from literature such as Narnia and Tolkien to movies (Frankenstein, Game of Thrones) and video games.
There are things I strongly disagree with the author, such as the new gender talk and unnecessary bashing of J.K. Rowling. However, nothing beats the insight of living with mental illness told from the affected person's perspective.

Unfortunately, I had to stop reading this book about 25% of the way through because the subject matter got too dark for me and it was too hard for me to continue. However, I absolutely loved this book and what I did manage to read. 5 stars for that part alone, but I must give warnings for the some of the content that is incredibly dark.

It stands as a testament to how different our experiences of mental illness can be.

Very authentic exploration into the authors past with her relationship to her own mental illness, using of course, the lense of fantasy narratives. It is difficult to review non-fiction, particularly non-fiction surrounding the authors own mental health experiences. So please do take my opinion as just that; an opinion.

I didn't like this read too much, I felt the writing subject and style were quite simplistic - great for someone who perhaps doesn't know much on mental health but that being said if you're picking up a memoir about it, chances are you do already. I am in no way saying that I want textbook level mental health analysis, but I am very familiar with all the topics touched on, and I wish it was pressed into a bit more. (Classic mental health writing is to second set sociological explanations but blah blah ignore me, just a pet peeve).

From my personal mental health issues and experiences, i feel a strong detachment to the 'monster within' narrative, so whilst it was very authentic to the author presumably, it felt quite empty to me but again this is personal stance. I have never held the perception that my illness' and disability is a second secret part to me, I just held the view that I was fundamentally flawed. Which would be alright however I felt the storyline relied a lot on that sense of having a monster within.

Surely will be relatable for some, but for others very much not - the conundrum with mental health.

This title is a great mix of memoir, research and cultural criticism.
I appreciate the author’s honesty and bravery in telling their mental health struggles and questioning societal perspectives and norms on mental health, and challenging ableism.
Their multidisciplinary research and background, coupled with pop culture, speculative fiction, and generally, cultural references ensure that this is an engaging and thought-provoking read.

This book delivers on its promises, exploring and criticising the way we speak and display mental illnesses in pop culture (or in daily life). The author uses her own experience and testimonies to enlight how damaging living with a mental illness can be, how narratives can shape our own experience and life, without shying away from difficult mattres, but also keeping some kind of hopeful tone.
I sometimes felt like the author own experience shaped greatly how she interpreted some stories, and felt a bit conflicted about it, and yet... that's also part of life and how our relation to stories is shape by our own experience.
Interesting read.

The author uses her experience of mental illness, as well as representations of mental illness in books, video games, and movies, especially the fantasy genre, to explore the negative ways that mental illness is viewed and portrayed (villains/monsters who are mentally ill and/or whose "evilness" is attributed to mental illness; mentally ill characters as "weaker" or "lesser"; mental illness as a flaw or character defect; mental illness as a punishment, etc.), and how those portrayals harm people with mental illness, including societal perceptions of mental illness/people with mental illness and treatment options. She also discusses ways to give the mentally ill individual "agency" and how books, video games, and movies could instead be used as a way to help people better cope with mental illness and better understand mental illness.

One of the strengths of this book is that the author embraces her mental illness; her author bio identifies her as a "mentally ill award-winning essayist and writer." She would rather not have mental illness and not have had to deal with all the trauma and struggles that have occurred in her life, but mental illness is an integral part of herself and how she presents to the world. After years of fear, shame, and distress, she realized that mental illness was not something to be ashamed of, nor what defined her, but was part of her reality, and therefore, she would be herself and live the best life she could.

This book was everything I hoped it would be. With such a refreshing take on mental health struggles, combined with thorough research and personal anecdotes, this is a must read for everyone. I can only applaud K. J. Aiello for creating for such a phenomenal book. Thank you NetGalley for the copy!

The Monster and the Mirror is a cultural criticism that explores how pop culture affects real life. It questions tropes like what is mad and sane, who the real monsters are, and how society as a whole reacts to those with mental health struggles. It's an intriguing premise told through a world of make believe but has a very real impact.