I shared this book on my Fall 2024 Book Preview podcast episode before I'd read it and then talked about it again on my Fall 2024 Circle Back episode after I'd tried it, but I ended up DNFing it at 35% after trying it two times.
On my first try with this book, I just didn’t care about these characters or what happened to them, so I put it down at 25%.
Then, I saw some really positive reviews from patrons in our FB Group and I realized I was in sort of a grumpy headspace when I tried it the first time.
So, I picked it up again a couple weeks later. I re-read the first 25% b/c I didn’t remember much and made it about 10% farther before the same thing happened to me again.

I love a messy family story and Attenberg is so good at this! Everyone is all over the place you as the reader--you are here for it. The characters are well developed and the story is propulsive.

The Cohen family falls apart when kind and loving Rudy, the father, dies suddenly at a young age. He was a Holocaust survivor dedicated to his wife Frieda and two young daughters Shelly and Nancy.

Left adrift, Frieda who has a serious alcohol problem falls deeper into her addiction. Eventually she moves to Florida. Where else ? Shelly is uber intelligent and her academic success is her one way ticket to a top university and personal success. Nancy, isn’t as book smart as her sister but is oh so beautiful, and uses her good looks to get what she thinks she wants out of life. All must learn the lessons life holds. The three live apart from each other and yet draw together in the inexplicable way many separated family members do.

Jami Attenberg has written a book that starts off with a bang and although I found it a good read it missed the mark of greatness for me. . Perhaps because the excitement of the earlier pages fizzled a bit,

Four stars for an interesting premise that held its ground from cover to cover.. My thanks to NetGalley and Ecco for an advanced copy in exchange for my review. It’s available now. Read it. I suspect you will enjoy it

Jami Attenberg is my go-to for dysfunctional families and this book does not disappoint. Interesting twists, never exactly sure where the story will land, it's all signatures of the skill and craft of Jami Attenberg. Already looking forward to her next book.

Jami Attenberg is the queen of messy family dramas. This one is no different- you’re following the women of the family throughout the course of several decades. I found myself reluctant to pick it up and wishing more was shown rather than told, but I was invested enough to finish.

𝗔 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗢𝗡 𝗧𝗢 𝗦𝗘𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗔𝗚𝗔𝗜𝗡 by Jami Attenberg tells the story of sisters Nancy and Shelley growing up in a seriously dysfunctional family. Beginning in 1971, the book covers more than 35 years with the most defining moment happening early in the story when the patriarch and glue of the family suddenly dies. Left on their own the sisters forge their own paths, drifting further and further apart from each other and from their alcoholic mother, Frieda. Eventually, Nancy’s daughter Jess joins the mix, but the dysfunction continues…on and on.⁣
⁣
I finished this book a few weeks ago and should have written my review immediately, but because of a long-planned vacation, I just didn’t get to it. Now, I find that I remember almost nothing about the story other than the relationships being both frustrating and sad. I usually like dysfunctional family stories and also stories of mothers and daughters, but in this one everything just felt a little too flat, a little too usual. There was little I could anchor into, as a truly great story should provide. So, in the end, Attenberg’s latest was just okay for me. ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫⁣
⁣
*𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘵𝘰 @𝘦𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘤 𝘤𝘰𝘱𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬.

Jami Attenberg's new novel "A Reason to See You Again" (Ecco, 2024) contains the dry wit, intelligence, and feminist sensibilities of her earlier fiction, "The Middlesteins" and "All Grown Up," with bonus layers of emotional nuance peppered throughout.

Beginning in 1971 and spanning four decades of the Cohen family's life as it floundered and faltered after the death of their patriarch, Rudy, "A Reason to See You Again" is a character-driven story. Told from the alternating points of view of matriarch Freida, oldest daughter Nancy, and youngest daughter Shelly, the contemporary Jewish-American landscape and tenuous mother-daughter dynamics are on full, misunderstood, and misconstrued display.

Attenberg's introduction of the Cohens in Chapter 1 is a stellar lesson on character, setting, and narrative. 1971: A typical Saturday night in their home included prepping and playing three games of Scrabble.  Sounds innocuous enough. However, consummate caregiver Freida is weighing her gaming strategy versus her milder-mannered, "useless competitor" husband Rudy and the pending threat of her youngest daughter Shelly's expansive vocabulary.  Rudy relishes the additional time with his family but is lost in memories of the Holocaust and secret regret. And Nancy? Oh, she is hardly a worry to the Cohens at all.

If you like your books thick with family dynamics, multiple perspectives, and plenty of kibitzing, "A Reason to See You Again" should be a great fit! 

Thank you to Jami Attenberg, Ecco, and NetGalley for the eARC.

𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨, 𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙣, 𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙨. 𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙚 𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙬𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙗𝙤𝙧𝙣.
Family, for better or worse, mold us, but the time and place we grow up in has just as much influence in producing the person we become and the secrets we are forced to keep. The chaos of the world leaves its mark, just look at what happened during and after covid, events upend our lives, rattle the cage. The novel begins in 1971 on game night, Frieda’s daughters are still young enough that they don’t buck against the ideal of playing Scrabble with their parents on a Saturday night. We learn Shelley, the youngest at twelve, is the clever one, “another shot at the sun” for her parents. Nancy, sixteen, knows she isn’t as brilliant nor as special as her little sister, but Nancy understands how to move in the world, and that is an important gift if you’re going to make it in life. Nancy is popular, gets invited to parties, asked out on dates and Nancy believes genius like Shelley’s has its drawbacks, such as being eccentric. The sisters know full well their differences, and what their role in the home is, but they can always tell each other the truth, even when no one else does. Who knew this closeness wouldn’t last? Frieda is a caregiver, tending to her older Jewish husband Rudy, who struggles with his health, the scars of his past in the camps , malnutrition, and a poor heart. A survivor forced to live against his nature, secrets he must keep as a father, heartbroken with the knowledge that his dear Frieda should have been with a different man, had a different life. They love each other, don’t they? But he always pulls away from expressing it physically. He has always been the glue, the one who makes sure their lives are beautiful.

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By chapter two, Rudy has been dead for years and the Cohen family’s beautiful life is over. They now live in a small complex, their mother Frieda is bitter, angry, drinking, always squabbling with Shelley. Nancy is away at college, a lucky escape, and Shelley is biding her time until she can have a fresh start, anywhere but with her mother. Her freedom lies in technology, a career that makes her look down on Nancy’s decisions. All that remains is pain and loss, but can either Cohen girl really find a better life for themselves? The brightness and joy they had with their father is fading in the distance, the future men in their lives are not the safety nor comfort they need. Frieda may as well be childless, for all the attention her daughters give her these days. No one is taking care of her and Florida seems to be a solution. Over time one sister has her head in her work, the other in her marriage and raising her daughter with a man who loves women too much. Who splinters his presence, his heart and spreads himself everywhere. Opportunities slip away, sometimes love right along with it. The sisters judge each other, but neither is living the happy life they envisioned. Struggling to determine who they are, what they want, and hating that no matter what turn they take, they are still living in a world not of their own making. Frieda is going through terrible men, and barely knows her own granddaughter. She has nothing and no one, a grudging thing for someone who dedicated her life tending to the ill. By the time 1989 rolls around, the story comes alive under Jess, Nancy’s daughter who learns stunning things about her grandfather’s sexuality through her Aunt Shelley. Jess has much to figure out about her own inclinations and aspirations, will time be kinder to her? Affairs, wayward men, a falling out between sisters, betrayal, powerful men that could ruin a successful career, just where do we lay the blame for the ruins that smolder around us?

I enjoyed the read despite the characters, who are not always likeable, but come off as real. Who does not get in their own way? People have a tough time changing who they are, and sometimes you get so far away from where you were supposed to be that you forget what you are running from and towards. It’s a tough life, and the men aren’t exactly redeemable but somehow, the Cohens come back around to each other. Family is always lurking somewhere within us.

Published September 24, 2024

Ecco

I love stories that span generations. This one follows two sisters and a mother for over 40 years. The three women have a complicated and dysfunctional relationship. We follow them throughout the years. We see their relationships, the choices they make & the challenges that come up throughout their lives. It's told in each of the three women's POV in alternating chapters. It really showcases how messy and hurtful life can be. I really enjoyed this story!


Thanks to NetGalley and Ecco for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Absolute gem of literary fiction! Total 5-star! However, this did land on my "Marketing Mistakes" roundup post. The font paired with the bubble gum pink phone creates a nostalgic cover that is too fluffy for this generational story filled with family traumas.

A Reason to See You Again gives us the story of a mother and her two daughters over decades. If your whole life was distilled to a few key scenes - what are the moments that would be shared? What are those key events that had a big impact on the rest of your life? What are the little moments with someone you love that could change your relationship forever?

This book was so sad. That’s all I could keep saying to myself as I finished. My favorite part was the omniscient narrator who would give us glimpses into the future impact as events happened.

Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for the free ebook to review.

“Family secrets are such a waste of time,” Shelly tells her niece as they search through their mother’s hidden treasures for the good wine. And this family has secrets and trauma that they desperately need to resolve. Beginning with the patriarch, a holocaust survivor’s death, their mother’s alcoholism and the subsequent distance, physical, philosophical and emotional, that grows between Shelly and her sister Nancy, I Came All This Way to See You is a complex novel told in Jami Attenberg’s fascinating, if sometimes difficult to follow style. This family makes misery itself seem like company.
Thanks to NetGalley and Ecco for the review copy. A Reason to See You Again was released September 24, 2024.

Telling the story of the Cohen women across the generations, A Reason to See You Again spells out the foibles and woes that befall the Cohen family. When Frieda's husband Rudy dies, she and her daughters are set adrift in their familial understanding in classic Jami Attenberg style. Sad, witty, and ultimately real Attenberg paints family dysfunction with the most accurate brush.

If you like mother/daughter stories, this is the book for you. A reason to See You Again tells the story of the Cohen sisters who both chose very different life paths. When their father, Rudy, a Holocaust survivor dies, they split up and see very little of each other. Then they end up together for the holidays and try to reconcile and deal with their mother who is living her best life in Florida. Quick writing, great dialogue and characters.

A REASON TO SEE YOU AGAIN
BY: JAMI ATTENBERG

"A REASON TO SEE YOU AGAIN," was my first experience reading Author, Jami Attenberg, and it was a quickly read novel, that is Literary fiction, that although it was interesting, and kept me turning the pages, it explores generational trauma. I love this author's style of writing for many reasons. She does use foreshadowing a few times, which I don't come across too often, but I liked it. She is a great writer that I knew that I was reading the work of a sophisticated storyteller that gave me the impression that I knew comes from knowledge imbued with an understanding of life. She was able to hook me early, and I feel she is capable of tackling a dark theme, but does a stellar job at keeping me from feeling it's dreary. Generational trauma isn't something that is going to interest everyone, but she is skilled enough to capture a heavy subject, while keeping the narrative entertaining so you enjoy her presentation. I think it's a common part of life experience that has most people these days familiar enough to have an idea of what it means. This is the undercurrent theme that her early introduction of this family that is easily spotted by the beginning pages. By the end of the novel you can intuit that it can't be stopped by avoiding the family member who mistreated you. How if you don't address family dysfunction by passing it back up to the generation that comes before you, you're going to pass it down to your children. No matter how determined you are not to repeat it, without realizing it comes out in ways that aren't obvious. I am impressed how this story told by a less experienced writer wouldn't be able to address it, yet develop a lightness so except for a few scenes, it keeps your mood elevated. This novel is a great example of that. Rudy is the father who is a survivor from the Holocaust, and he was the glue that held this family of four together. He is frail from his years of suffering malnutrition, but had a heart of gold. He doesn't live long beyond the first chapter. You can't help feeling admiration for him by how he is the most lovable character in this novel. By no means do I want to imply that his past suffering is part of the generational trauma that his daughters act out as adults. Quite the opposite. He shows concern and love for his daughters and wife who he can see his wife's actions by how she treats their two daughters isn't productive. They are recipients of generational trauma. He's enlightened far beyond any of the other characters. The only thought of how his past suffering could be passed down by genetic means of which he can't control. Could their genetic inheritance have an influence over how they relate to the secondary characters that orbit the daughters lives? I thought it was due to their mother, Frieda's deliberate cruelty towards the two daughters which she is aware of which exemplifies unimaginable dislike and defies understanding. She turns her grief from Rudy's death, towards anger to her two daughters. Frieda, who he married young is competitive, while he's still alive, and during a family night of Scrabble with their two daughters, she acts like a poor sport. It is either gross immaturity, or self centered behavior by trying to win every game, when she is playing with her two teen aged daughters. As a mother I was appalled by her self centered attitude of not wanting to witness joy, by seeing her two daughters win. Most mothers instinctively put their children's interests before their own. It just is a natural behavior to want your children to feel as much joy and happiness as possible, and it's an automatic instinct to act to let them win and enjoy the game. Her oldest daughter Nancy, is the daughter blessed with beauty, but the younger daughter, Shelly is clearly more intelligent than her mother or her sister. This novel spans forty years, starting out in the 1970's, and moves throughout the years ending during the early part of decade of the 2000's.

Frieda is an alcoholic sneaking her secret stash of hidden liquor before Rudy dies. She continues after, by getting worse. She took out her grief in the form of anger towards her two daughters which was cruel treatment on purpose. She isn't physically abusive, but her actions towards both of her daughters, which is emotional and verbal abuse was appalling, and were as the author described it lands like blows. She ends up paying the price, because her behavior ended up causing many years of both her daughters to be estranged from her. Her two daughters can't move out of the house fast enough to go to college in different parts of the country. Nancy gets pregnant at 21, and marries. She has a daughter who she traumatizes during one Christmas holiday, when her daughter Jess is four. Shelly is visiting for the first time in years. Nancy makes a scene by scaring, and upsetting her young daughter by ripping the lights off the Christmas tree. It is the defining moment that her four year old daughter remembers as an adult. Nancy and her daughter don't have a relationship when her daughter grows up. You are aware when that unspeakable destructive behavior is due to her dissatisfaction in her marriage. It isn't just her, since her husband you can see later on why, but they both aren't healthy role models as parents to their daughter. There are other early signs that they both aren't likable for reasons I won't say which would be spoilers.

Jess, and her Aunt Shelly are close, but as successful career wise as Shelly is she seems to buy her way into her niece's life by over indulging her with purchasing her a car. Shelly is always trying to force her niece to accept money, she doesn't want to take. Neither, Shelly, or Nancy have healthy adult relationships that last. There are other people who they have in their lives, but I remember more of Shelly's life. It sounds depressing with my thoughts that I remember from reading this that by writing this review I included them because of the blatant dysfunction. It isn't easy to not get upset, but I include them here because they were the most difficult to read. To anyone reading this it screams the ways this cycle continues. I saw a pattern of turmoil, with these two daughters that aren't as obvious that are also sad. This sounds very depressing, but the author keeps it from ever becoming a downer. She balances out, the narrative by including humor, and lighter moments that make this enjoyable. Overall, I thought the author writes realistic depictions of how generational trauma handed down left unresolved continues to reverberate., and passed down to continue a vicious cycle. This was well written, and the author did a great job depicting how you must address trauma. It's never resolved by avoiding the family member who is responsible that caused it to begin with. However, most people don't know that it takes much more internal examination and self awareness that is a start at resolving the pain that you didn't deserve, but that many people repress and think that they can automatically fix their issues by avoiding the person who mistreated you.

I know this cliche from my education which I took psychology as a minor, as an undergraduate. I have observed many people who think that avoiding the family member who mistreats them ensures a life of happiness, and to choose healthy people that they relate to. I wish it was that simple, but seldom it just continues to live on, with the author's descriptions of the actions and her main characters like both Nancy and Shelly. Shelly was more likable, yet she seemed to be more similar to their father. There's a saying: Unless you hand the trauma back up to the generation that caused it, you hand it down. Again, the author depicts this by how these two sisters have unhealthy interpersonal relationships. She also illuminates how this continues by other ways less obvious. If you take away nothing else, it bears repeating this cliche. Unless you hand it back up, you hand it down.

I am going to add that so many people who suffer in their childhood trauma, think that the way to help themselves is to avoid the person who caused it. It doesn't work. There are cases where there are exceptions. There's a much longer explanation that I wrote, which took me a long time to review this very well written novel. When I hit the submit button, I knew that in my intuition that it would erase my whole review, which it did. I hate that when that happens, but it did. I just want to add that this author was very interesting in the way she wrote such a commonly well known situation, and most people know someone who, had a difficult time during childhood. They believe the way they solve it, and think they are going to have successful lives, by avoiding the person responsible. It takes so much more than that.

The author is talented by her understated style of making this point. She recreates the setting that these years take place by accurately placing the culture to be one that made me nostalgic. That time period was a simpler, gentler era. Today is much more complex and disturbing with how the world is so much harder to exist in with how the world seems to be more unstable. I'm not getting into it beyond saying one just has to watch the news for five minutes. Technology for better or worse has advanced so much with it being a good thing in ways. In other ways it has a negative impact on us.
Part of that is due to younger teenagers especially girls believing everything they see online that suggests everyone else has a better life. Most of it's fantasy, because everyone has their own circumstances that they will deal with at some point. It's sad, and one thing that could be why I didn't raise my rating higher is that although this author is one whose wisdom is apparent, it was hard for me to connect to any of the characters. It was better than I thought, but she does write well above average in how she kept the heartbreaking aspects to a minimum. I don't know how to describe it more than my intuition told me that she had written from having insight, but I'm happy that I took a risk by reading this by not knowing anybody else who has.


Publication Date: September 24, 2024

Thank you to Net Galley, Jami Attenberg, and Ecco for generously providing me with my ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review. All opinions are my own.
A REASON TO SEE YOU AGAIN
BY: JAMI ATTENBERG

"A REASON TO SEE YOU AGAIN," was my first experience reading Author, Jami Attenberg, and it was a quickly read novel, that is Literary fiction, that although it was interesting, and kept me turning the pages, it explores generational trauma. I love this author's style of writing for many reasons. She does use foreshadowing a few times, which I don't come across too often, but I liked it. She is a great writer that I knew that I was reading the work of a sophisticated storyteller that gave me the impression that I knew comes from knowledge imbued with an understanding of life. She was able to hook me early, and I feel she is capable of tackling a dark theme, but does a stellar job at keeping me from feeling it's dreary. Generational trauma isn't something that is going to interest everyone, but she is skilled enough to capture a heavy subject, while keeping the narrative entertaining so you enjoy her presentation. I think it's a common part of life experience that has most people these days familiar enough to have an idea of what it means. This is the undercurrent theme that her early introduction of this family that is easily spotted by the beginning pages. By the end of the novel you can intuit that it can't be stopped by avoiding the family member who mistreated you. How if you don't address family dysfunction by passing it back up to the generation that comes before you, you're going to pass it down to your children. No matter how determined you are not to repeat it, without realizing it comes out in ways that aren't obvious. I am impressed how this story told by a less experienced writer wouldn't be able to address it, yet develop a lightness so except for a few scenes, it keeps your mood elevated. This novel is a great example of that. Rudy is the father who is a survivor from the Holocaust, and he was the glue that held this family of four together. He is frail from his years of suffering malnutrition, but had a heart of gold. He doesn't live long beyond the first chapter. You can't help feeling admiration for him by how he is the most lovable character in this novel. By no means do I want to imply that his past suffering is part of the generational trauma that his daughters act out as adults. Quite the opposite. He shows concern and love for his daughters and wife who he can see his wife's actions by how she treats their two daughters isn't productive. They are recipients of generational trauma. He's enlightened far beyond any of the other characters. The only thought of how his past suffering could be passed down by genetic means of which he can't control. Could their genetic inheritance have an influence over how they relate to the secondary characters that orbit the daughters lives? I thought it was due to their mother, Frieda's deliberate cruelty towards the two daughters which she is aware of which exemplifies unimaginable dislike and defies understanding. She turns her grief from Rudy's death, towards anger to her two daughters. Frieda, who he married young is competitive, while he's still alive, and during a family night of Scrabble with their two daughters, she acts like a poor sport. It is either gross immaturity, or self centered behavior by trying to win every game, when she is playing with her two teen aged daughters. As a mother I was appalled by her self centered attitude of not wanting to witness joy, by seeing her two daughters win. Most mothers instinctively put their children's interests before their own. It just is a natural behavior to want your children to feel as much joy and happiness as possible, and it's an automatic instinct to act to let them win and enjoy the game. Her oldest daughter Nancy, is the daughter blessed with beauty, but the younger daughter, Shelly is clearly more intelligent than her mother or her sister. This novel spans forty years, starting out in the 1970's, and moves throughout the years ending during the early part of decade of the 2000's.

Frieda is an alcoholic sneaking her secret stash of hidden liquor before Rudy dies. She continues after, by getting worse. She took out her grief in the form of anger towards her two daughters which was cruel treatment on purpose. She isn't physically abusive, but her actions towards both of her daughters, which is emotional and verbal abuse was appalling, and were as the author described it lands like blows. She ends up paying the price, because her behavior ended up causing many years of both her daughters to be estranged from her. Her two daughters can't move out of the house fast enough to go to college in different parts of the country. Nancy gets pregnant at 21, and marries. She has a daughter who she traumatizes during one Christmas holiday, when her daughter Jess is four. Shelly is visiting for the first time in years. Nancy makes a scene by scaring, and upsetting her young daughter by ripping the lights off the Christmas tree. It is the defining moment that her four year old daughter remembers as an adult. Nancy and her daughter don't have a relationship when her daughter grows up. You are aware when that unspeakable destructive behavior is due to her dissatisfaction in her marriage. It isn't just her, since her husband you can see later on why, but they both aren't healthy role models as parents to their daughter. There are other early signs that they both aren't likable for reasons I won't say which would be spoilers.

Jess, and her Aunt Shelly are close, but as successful career wise as Shelly is she seems to buy her way into her niece's life by over indulging her with purchasing her a car. Shelly is always trying to force her niece to accept money, she doesn't want to take. Neither, Shelly, or Nancy have healthy adult relationships that last. There are other people who they have in their lives, but I remember more of Shelly's life. It sounds depressing with my thoughts that I remember from reading this that by writing this review I included them because of the blatant dysfunction. It isn't easy to not get upset, but I include them here because they were the most difficult to read. To anyone reading this it screams the ways this cycle continues. I saw a pattern of turmoil, with these two daughters that aren't as obvious that are also sad. This sounds very depressing, but the author keeps it from ever becoming a downer. She balances out, the narrative by including humor, and lighter moments that make this enjoyable. Overall, I thought the author writes realistic depictions of how generational trauma handed down left unresolved continues to reverberate., and passed down to continue a vicious cycle. This was well written, and the author did a great job depicting how you must address trauma. It's never resolved by avoiding the family member who is responsible that caused it to begin with. However, most people don't know that it takes much more internal examination and self awareness that is a start at resolving the pain that you didn't deserve, but that many people repress and think that they can automatically fix their issues by avoiding the person who mistreated you.

I know this cliche from my education which I took psychology as a minor, as an undergraduate. I have observed many people who think that avoiding the family member who mistreats them ensures a life of happiness, and to choose healthy people that they relate to. I wish it was that simple, but seldom it just continues to live on, with the author's descriptions of the actions and her main characters like both Nancy and Shelly. Shelly was more likable, yet she seemed to be more similar to their father. There's a saying: Unless you hand the trauma back up to the generation that caused it, you hand it down. Again, the author depicts this by how these two sisters have unhealthy interpersonal relationships. She also illuminates how this continues by other ways less obvious. If you take away nothing else, it bears repeating this cliche. Unless you hand it back up, you hand it down.

I am going to add that so many people who suffer in their childhood trauma, think that the way to help themselves is to avoid the person who caused it. It doesn't work. There are cases where there are exceptions. There's a much longer explanation that I wrote, which took me a long time to review this very well written novel. When I hit the submit button, I knew that in my intuition that it would erase my whole review, which it did. I hate that when that happens, but it did. I just want to add that this author was very interesting in the way she wrote such a commonly well known situation, and most people know someone who, had a difficult time during childhood. They believe the way they solve it, and think they are going to have successful lives, by avoiding the person responsible. It takes so much more than that.

The author is talented by her understated style of making this point. She recreates the setting that these years take place by accurately placing the culture to be one that made me nostalgic. That time period was a simpler, gentler era. Today is much more complex and disturbing with how the world is so much harder to exist in with how the world seems to be more unstable. I'm not getting into it beyond saying one just has to watch the news for five minutes. Technology for better or worse has advanced so much with it being a good thing in ways. In other ways it has a negative impact on us.
Part of that is due to younger teenagers especially girls believing everything they see online that suggests everyone else has a better life. Most of it's fantasy, because everyone has their own circumstances that they will deal with at some point. It's sad, and one thing that could be why I didn't raise my rating higher is that although this author is one whose wisdom is apparent, it was hard for me to connect to any of the characters. It was better than I thought, but she does write well above average in how she kept the heartbreaking aspects to a minimum. I don't know how to describe it more than my intuition told me that she had written from having insight, but I'm happy that I took a risk by reading this by not knowing anybody else who has.


Publication Date: September 24, 2024

Thank you to Net Galley, Jami Attenberg, and Ecco for generously providing me with my ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review. All opinions are my own.
A REASON TO SEE YOU AGAIN
BY: JAMI ATTENBERG

"A REASON TO SEE YOU AGAIN," was my first experience reading Author, Jami Attenberg, and it was a quickly read novel, that is Literary fiction, that although it was interesting, and kept me turning the pages, it explores generational trauma. I love this author's style of writing for many reasons. She does use foreshadowing a few times, which I don't come across too often, but I liked it. She is a great writer that I knew that I was reading the work of a sophisticated storyteller that gave me the impression that I knew comes from knowledge imbued with an understanding of life. She was able to hook me early, and I feel she is capable of tackling a dark theme, but does a stellar job at keeping me from feeling it's dreary. Generational trauma isn't something that is going to interest everyone, but she is skilled enough to capture a heavy subject, while keeping the narrative entertaining so you enjoy her presentation. I think it's a common part of life experience that has most people these days familiar enough to have an idea of what it means. This is the undercurrent theme that her early introduction of this family that is easily spotted by the beginning pages. By the end of the novel you can intuit that it can't be stopped by avoiding the family member who mistreated you. How if you don't address family dysfunction by passing it back up to the generation that comes before you, you're going to pass it down to your children. No matter how determined you are not to repeat it, without realizing it comes out in ways that aren't obvious. I am impressed how this story told by a less experienced writer wouldn't be able to address it, yet develop a lightness so except for a few scenes, it keeps your mood elevated. This novel is a great example of that. Rudy is the father who is a survivor from the Holocaust, and he was the glue that held this family of four together. He is frail from his years of suffering malnutrition, but had a heart of gold. He doesn't live long beyond the first chapter. You can't help feeling admiration for him by how he is the most lovable character in this novel. By no means do I want to imply that his past suffering is part of the generational trauma that his daughters act out as adults. Quite the opposite. He shows concern and love for his daughters and wife who he can see his wife's actions by how she treats their two daughters isn't productive. They are recipients of generational trauma. He's enlightened far beyond any of the other characters. The only thought of how his past suffering could be passed down by genetic means of which he can't control. Could their genetic inheritance have an influence over how they relate to the secondary characters that orbit the daughters lives? I thought it was due to their mother, Frieda's deliberate cruelty towards the two daughters which she is aware of which exemplifies unimaginable dislike and defies understanding. She turns her grief from Rudy's death, towards anger to her two daughters. Frieda, who he married young is competitive, while he's still alive, and during a family night of Scrabble with their two daughters, she acts like a poor sport. It is either gross immaturity, or self centered behavior by trying to win every game, when she is playing with her two teen aged daughters. As a mother I was appalled by her self centered attitude of not wanting to witness joy, by seeing her two daughters win. Most mothers instinctively put their children's interests before their own. It just is a natural behavior to want your children to feel as much joy and happiness as possible, and it's an automatic instinct to act to let them win and enjoy the game. Her oldest daughter Nancy, is the daughter blessed with beauty, but the younger daughter, Shelly is clearly more intelligent than her mother or her sister. This novel spans forty years, starting out in the 1970's, and moves throughout the years ending during the early part of decade of the 2000's.

Frieda is an alcoholic sneaking her secret stash of hidden liquor before Rudy dies. She continues after, by getting worse. She took out her grief in the form of anger towards her two daughters which was cruel treatment on purpose. She isn't physically abusive, but her actions towards both of her daughters, which is emotional and verbal abuse was appalling, and were as the author described it lands like blows. She ends up paying the price, because her behavior ended up causing many years of both her daughters to be estranged from her. Her two daughters can't move out of the house fast enough to go to college in different parts of the country. Nancy gets pregnant at 21, and marries. She has a daughter who she traumatizes during one Christmas holiday, when her daughter Jess is four. Shelly is visiting for the first time in years. Nancy makes a scene by scaring, and upsetting her young daughter by ripping the lights off the Christmas tree. It is the defining moment that her four year old daughter remembers as an adult. Nancy and her daughter don't have a relationship when her daughter grows up. You are aware when that unspeakable destructive behavior is due to her dissatisfaction in her marriage. It isn't just her, since her husband you can see later on why, but they both aren't healthy role models as parents to their daughter. There are other early signs that they both aren't likable for reasons I won't say which would be spoilers.

Jess, and her Aunt Shelly are close, but as successful career wise as Shelly is she seems to buy her way into her niece's life by over indulging her with purchasing her a car. Shelly is always trying to force her niece to accept money, she doesn't want to take. Neither, Shelly, or Nancy have healthy adult relationships that last. There are other people who they have in their lives, but I remember more of Shelly's life. It sounds depressing with my thoughts that I remember from reading this that by writing this review I included them because of the blatant dysfunction. It isn't easy to not get upset, but I include them here because they were the most difficult to read. To anyone reading this it screams the ways this cycle continues. I saw a pattern of turmoil, with these two daughters that aren't as obvious that are also sad. This sounds very depressing, but the author keeps it from ever becoming a downer. She balances out, the narrative by including humor, and lighter moments that make this enjoyable. Overall, I thought the author writes realistic depictions of how generational trauma handed down left unresolved continues to reverberate., and passed down to continue a vicious cycle. This was well written, and the author did a great job depicting how you must address trauma. It's never resolved by avoiding the family member who is responsible that caused it to begin with. However, most people don't know that it takes much more internal examination and self awareness that is a start at resolving the pain that you didn't deserve, but that many people repress and think that they can automatically fix their issues by avoiding the person who mistreated you.

I know this cliche from my education which I took psychology as a minor, as an undergraduate. I have observed many people who think that avoiding the family member who mistreats them ensures a life of happiness, and to choose healthy people that they relate to. I wish it was that simple, but seldom it just continues to live on, with the author's descriptions of the actions and her main characters like both Nancy and Shelly. Shelly was more likable, yet she seemed to be more similar to their father. There's a saying: Unless you hand the trauma back up to the generation that caused it, you hand it down. Again, the author depicts this by how these two sisters have unhealthy interpersonal relationships. She also illuminates how this continues by other ways less obvious. If you take away nothing else, it bears repeating this cliche. Unless you hand it back up, you hand it down.

I am going to add that so many people who suffer in their childhood trauma, think that the way to help themselves is to avoid the person who caused it. It doesn't work. There are cases where there are exceptions. There's a much longer explanation that I wrote, which took me a long time to review this very well written novel. When I hit the submit button, I knew that in my intuition that it would erase my whole review, which it did. I hate that when that happens, but it did. I just want to add that this author was very interesting in the way she wrote such a commonly well known situation, and most people know someone who, had a difficult time during childhood. They believe the way they solve it, and think they are going to have successful lives, by avoiding the person responsible. It takes so much more than that.

The author is talented by her understated style of making this point. She recreates the setting that these years take place by accurately placing the culture to be one that made me nostalgic. That time period was a simpler, gentler era. Today is much more complex and disturbing with how the world is so much harder to exist in with how the world seems to be more unstable. I'm not getting into it beyond saying one just has to watch the news for five minutes. Technology for better or worse has advanced so much with it being a good thing in ways. In other ways it has a negative impact on us.
Part of that is due to younger teenagers especially girls believing everything they see online that suggests everyone else has a better life. Most of it's fantasy, because everyone has their own circumstances that they will deal with at some point. It's sad, and one thing that could be why I didn't raise my rating higher is that although this author is one whose wisdom is apparent, it was hard for me to connect to any of the characters. It was better than I thought, but she does write well above average in how she kept the heartbreaking aspects to a minimum. I don't know how to describe it more than my intuition told me that she had written from having insight, but I'm happy that I took a risk by reading this by not knowing anybody else who has.


Publication Date: September 24, 2024

Thank you to Net Galley, Jami Attenberg, and Ecco for generously providing me with my ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review. All opinions are my own.

#AReasontoSeeYouAgain #JamiAttenberg #Ecco #NetGalley

This was a generational story featuring two daughters and their mothers. It follows them through 40 years. This was not what I would call a cheerful book but Jami Attenbergs writing really drew me in. These women had such a distinct voice. It just reminds you that the passage of time really is very short.

When the father dies, the mother and two daughters are send into disrepair. This book follows the characters through forty years, and explorers their lives and choices.

Gorgeous, poignant, deeply affecting story about how generational trauma unfurls itself in a family, and the ways we can heal each other. I fell in love with these characters, who are so flawed and so relatable and so deeply human and real. This book made me feel so seen in ways I couldn't possibly have predicted and struggle to explain with clarity. All I can tell you is, you have to read this book. You have to read this book.

The Cohen family is unlikable - Frieda is a difficult, and often cruel, mother to her daughters Nancy (the pretty one) and Shelley (the smart one). Neither daughter cares much for their mother, and all can go months without speaking. And yet. Attenberg skillfully builds their world and has us rooting for this multi-generational family of strong, confident and damaged women over the many decades of their lives. Indeed, we finish the book wanting more. Attenberg is so good at storytelling that our time with the Cohen women feels too short. She is such a good storyteller that we are immersed in their complicated, damaged and damaging interactions. She is so good that this book is bingeable and compulsively readable. Highly recommend. Thank you to Ecco and NetGalley for the ARC.

Sometimes you read a book and you think this is one of the best books I've read in this genre. I just read three books that resonated with me in that way. The first is by Jami Attenberg and it is literary fiction (or Jewish Fiction, according to Amazon). It is newly out this week, but I was lucky enough to get to read an ARC last month.

Long-time readers know that I'm a huge fan of Jami Attenberg and her CRAFT TALK her on Substack. I've already written here more than once about her yearly event, #1000wordsofsummer, which was such a help to me in writing Honeymoon at Sea, and her new nonfiction book #1000words which I loved. The newest of her novels—it came out Tuesday—is called A Reason To See You Again and it's about a family.

The story is centered on two sisters, who we meet in 1971 when they are teenagers (or almost, the younger is 12). The girls were born to a Holocaust survivor who has secrets he doesn't try very hard to hide, and the wife who has cared for him for years, to the detriment of her own dreams, or the hopes of having one. The author follows both sisters through the years, through their relationships and careers, but never loses sight of the mother, a widow who eventually becomes somewhat merry. It's a story that manages to feel like an epic family tale and still be small enough to be incredibly intimate.

For those who've loved Jami Attenberg's other novels (there are a few you may have heard of, such as The Middlesteins) you'll be pleased to meet this new family. Those of you who haven't read her novels yet will want to read more.