I loved this memoir. It was so powerful of a mother’s love for her daughter and how she will fight for her but also recognize that she can’t change the world’s closemindedness.

Thank you Knopf for supporting Abi Maxwell's story, honoring it with publication support. A powerful memoir, one that I have already recommended to students I teach and advise, and a reminder that to learn we listen, read, and reflect on the different lives, feelings, and lived experiences of others. I was moved my Maxwell's sharing not just a story of parenting, of gender identity, but also one about community, family, and persisting in the face of adversity, of showing up for people you love and seeing, celebrating who they are.
It is important to read and amplify stories such as Maxwell's, to be aware that many transgender youth , adults, and families, face hurt and harm. I appreciate Maxwell's writing, hope the book will be a tribute to for many, and that the book is a welcome discussion starter.

Nonfiction memoir about a mother raising her autistic, transgender daughter and the New Hampshire town that puts their family through hell. It’s harrowing and heartbreaking, a survival guide (barely? hopefully?) about weathering the eye of the current political storm. I’m always looking for books I can recommend to well-meaning people who want to see past the transphobic headlines, and this one goes on the list. (Well-meaning people, as opposed to those who want to remain comfortably safe in their bigotry. Indeed, one of the most frustrating, infuriating parts of Maxwell’s story are those who just want to seem *nice* at all costs, so they can feel like good people, regardless of the consequences of either their hateful actions or their silence.)

Trans rights are human rights, and to learn more or take action, I can personally vouch that The Campaign for Southern Equality is doing good work here in the southern US. On a national or global level, try Advocates for Trans Equality or TGEU.

this is for all the young ones, growing up with the worlds expectations and ever changing societal norms. this is a beautiful showing of gender identity, class and the way our history shapes us as we become our own.

A beautiful and intense story about a mother's struggle to understand her child and their gender identity: while she had trouble understanding that her child is transgender, once she realized how happy her daughter became when she discovered that there was a word that described how she felt. It became even more important to make sure that her daughters rights were being respected. Through the writing in this book we get to understand how Abi was feeling as she fought for the wellbeing of her daughter, meanwhile her daughter was strong in her resolve that this is who she was really supposed to be. There were so many obstacles and while the fight may not be over there have been many improvements in how transgender people are treated by others. This was such a beautiful story, and I am so glad to have read it.

Thank you to the publisher for the opportunity to read this captivating story.

This is a heartwrenching book about Maxwell's transgender daughter declaring that she was a girl at a young age. The anguish that the family had to go through in a small community in New Hampshire is heartbreaking but the fierceness of her love for her daughter shines through. Maxwell wrote the book everyone in her small (mostly) close-minded community needed to read to understand her family's struggle. Give this to your friends and relatives who don't understand what it means to be transgender - it will change people's perspectives.

I want every person to read this book.
As an educator, I needed to read this book.
As a queer person, I needed to read this book.
As a human, I needed to read this book.
Everyone needs to read this book.

I don't have the words to eloquently describe just how heartbreakingly beautiful this memoir is. How healing it is. How IMPORTANT it is.

All I can say is that this is not a book I will forget about. It will stick with me as a reminder to be kind, understanding, and adaptable. I hope you read it.

Thank you NetGalley for gifting me an advance copy in exchange for my honest review and opinion.

This is a beautiful and heartbreaking memoir by a mother about their family’s journey with her transgender daughter, Greta. It’s a really important and relevant book in today’s sociopolitical environment.

Navigating a prejudiced and unjust system in her small town, the author details both the heartbreaking experiences and also the small victories that become so big in light of everything happening in our country today. As a mother myself, Abi’s story really resonated with me. It is heartbreaking to read about their struggle for their daughter to simply have the same rights as other children.

This is a must read. It is a raw, emotional, detailed, and beautiful true story of a family’s fight to allow their young daughter to live her truth. Greta and her family are inspirational, especially in light of the dangerous and prejudiced laws and ideas that are widespread in our country today.

Big thanks to NetGalley and Knopf Publishing for the gifted ARC!

This was a moving, heartfelt, emotional read. It focuses on issues queer — specifically trans — people face, and at its center was the story of a family deep with love despite outside hate. As someone from New Hampshire I think the memoir felt even more real and relatable to me. It was moving and even somewhat healing to see parents that are willing to fight for their queer child and make space and love for that child.

This memoir maybe healed a part of me. It was nice to see parents that fought do hard for their kids. Like It was so good to see and I wish more parents were like this. It tough fighting for your kids rights when law makers just want to keep oppressing and making it a not safe space for queer kids.

I got an e-arc of this book on NetGalley. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Thanks to NetGalley and Knopf for the ARC!

Abi Maxwell’s "One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman" is a fiercely maternal book, albeit one that suggests the characteristics of a wonderfully protective mother make for a needlessly defensive memoir.

All memoir is myth. All memoir is mis-remembrance.

In the best memoirs, however, authors resist—or, at least, interrogate—their own impulse to bend history to their will. They use the form as an opportunity for reflection, revisiting complex experiences with the grace of hindsight. It becomes a site for self-critique as much as self-forgiveness.

Unfortunately, Abi Maxwell seems keen on sanding down every narrative edge, ensuring that she is unimpeachable at every turn and contorting the narrative into a feel-good story with all the sheen of a Netflix original. As a gift to her daughter, it works; as a book for wide readership, it does not.

The prose is as sweet as cough syrup, going down smoothly and progressively dulling the reader’s senses with the warmth of nostalgia—a foreknowledge that rings false. For example, when describing how her 4- or 5-year-old daughter wanted to wear pink shoes pre-transition, Maxwell writes, “we had raised a little feminist human, a child who understood in her bones that female did not equal less." It reads profoundly artificial and self-serving, less like a celebration of her daughter’s unmitigated enthusiasm and more as Maxwell's need to reify mainstream cultural constructions of gender by offering herself as their antithesis. Even in the book’s darkest moments, the author telegraphs her inevitable triumph in a way that betrays the emotional truth of the narrative, and this approach becomes a recurrent weakness.

If one boils the book down to its essence, its premise is “I’m an amazing ally.” After a point, the author’s righteous anger starts to feel like self-righteous posturing, simply because she’s so adamant about declaring it over and over. The emotional weight that might be felt in a short-form essay is lost through repetition. Furthermore, and I hesitate to say this because it’s such a damning critique, there are moments where both Maxwell’s daughter—and her gay brother, Noah—feel like props, as if their purpose is to showcase the author’s advocacy. We don’t get a sense of anyone’s personality in this book, which makes it feel like the author is more interested in LGBTQIA+ issues than LGBTQIA+ people.

It honestly made me squeamish.

It’s a shame because there’s clearly a story to be told here, and I think a book like this could be really encouraging to parents in a similar situation. In fact, I understand and sympathize with why Maxwell frames the story the way she does—she is rightfully protective of her daughter, but I’m not sure we can protect ourselves from history in the way she attempts. Memoir must wrestle with all of it.

Based on other reviews, I’m clearly in the minority opinion, so I hope "One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman" offers something of substance to its readers; I just wonder if its palatability does more harm than good.

Abi Maxwell's memoir tells of the heartbreaking experiences of her family in a small town in New Hampshire who were vilified and and ostracized when her daughter transitioned socially to her new name, new pronouns and new identity at a very young age. Maxwell's language is poetic and heart rending, as she takes us through the years leading up to Greta's new identity and the aftermath. Maxell allows us to understand completely what is means to fight your child at all costs and the toll it takes on a parent mentally and physically to constantly keep the monsters at bay. Highly recommended for readers of memoirs relating to parenting, strong women, transgender equality, and American politics. Thank you to Knopf and NetGalley for the e-Arc.

I was born in Concord, NH and grew up and still live in New Hampshire. I love to read a book about my state but in this case I wasn't feeling super proud. Abi Maxwell's memoir shares the story of her daughter's experience coming out as transgender and their family's struggle to protect Greta's rights in the Gilford, NH school system.
This book is beautifully written and I found it very relatable, even though I'm not a parent. Abi was very candid in sharing her thoughts, emotions, and various reactions she had to her daughter's identity and the folks in town who made their time in the district a nightmare. It does seem that Abi used pseudonyms for the many parents and Gilford residents who spoke out against the Maxwell family in fear and ignorance -- but those people went on the record in multiple newspaper articles from Gilford that covered the eventual passage of a transgender policy in that district. The policy supports trans kids' rights to be called by their name and pronouns, use the bathrooms that align with their gender identity, and play sports. (However, this summer, our Gov. approved two related statewide bills, one of which will bar trans students in grades 5-12 from competing on school sports teams that match their gender identities.)
I am an educator and I'm so grateful to parents like Abi for sharing their experiences. Abi describes a lot of conversations where it becomes clear that everyone needs more eduction -- Abi's family, friends, and definitely their antagonists. I can only imagine how much work went into writing this memoir and how brave a parent needs to be to retread these very difficult years -- so if Abi can write this book, we as readers have a valuable opportunity to educate ourselves! I'll definitely be recommending this book.

"One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman" by Abi Maxwell is a deeply moving and introspective coming-of-age story. Maxwell's lyrical writing captures the complexities of adolescence, identity, and self-discovery with honesty and grace. A poignant and beautifully written novel that lingers long after the last page.

This was such a powerful and beautiful memoir. It's such an important story, and one that should be read by everyone. The story was heart wrenching and sad. A great read to provide to families to let them know that they are not alone. Beautiful writing, and overall story. Definitely recommend!

A mother's POV as her daughter tries to navigate the complex world of being transgender, poignantly detailed through heartbreak and betrayal, small victories, and the constant search for simple liberties. Abi's story is one of many and perfectly highlights the struggle so many families of transgender youth face, with an overarching theme of wanting the same rights for their daughter as any parent would for their children. As a mother, I deeply empathize with the struggle this family has had to endure and appreciate how well this book highlighted the vast and dramatic differences we as Americans experience based simply upon what town or state we live in. In a time when women's rights in particular are constantly on the chopping block, this is a relevant and timely read that I highly recommend.

This was a heartbreaking memoir about a mother's journey to protect her transgender daughter. There were times I was so incredibly frustrated while reading, and I admire Abi for doing what she needed to do.

This is wholeheartedly the most intimate and powerful book I’ve ever read. I cried every other chapter and I can’t wait to hug the physical copy when it comes out. I’d ask goodreads to make a 6 star exception for this one if I could.

This memoir is about a mother’s journey of supporting her trans daughter through the power of knowledge, love, and advocacy. She discusses her experiences growing up in a small town, the process of her daughter discovering her gender identity while in school, the negative effects bigotry has on trans youth and our community, and ultimately the importance of listening to, learning from, and supporting trans people.

It’s honest, it leaves nothing out, and it’s something I think every cisgender person should read.

I will treasure this book for as long as I live.
#ProtectTransLives

This is a mother’s story about what she had to go through to make a safe and nurturing environment for her trans daughter. It was all consuming for both parents and painful to read at times, but an important book that encourages empathy for this family’s suffering. It’s well written and well constructed, a compelling story from beginning to end. Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for allowing me to have an advanced copy in ebook form.

A devastatingly honest memoir on the author's life connected through the struggle to get support for her autistic and transgender daughter in a small New Hampshire community. As someone who was raised in the area, I believe Maxwell does an excellent job of describing the pull of the environment on why one chooses to stay in a place that is often in conflict with their own personal and political interests. The small town mentality as well as the conflict with the local bureaucracy and school officials was very familiar. The short chapters help to digest the emotional issues brought up not just by the behavior of the townspeople but also the dark memories they evoke in the author.