Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher Knopf for providing me with a free digital ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review. To start off, if you still have the option to just read this book now without getting approved for it on NetGalley like I did, then do it!
This book really broke my heart. I get so emotional when I witness parents supporting their trans children (maybe because my parents don't know I'm trans and think I just changed my name for fun idk). The transphobia from their community is brutal, the justifications and mental gymnastics of the parents not hearing and seeing that their child was trans sooner (even when their child knew from a SUPER early age and told them explicitly), and the comments that Greta makes regarding her transness like "'I'm sad. Why didn't you let me transition earlier?'" or "'Nobody in this town understands what transgender is. So I don't want to be transgender anymore. But I can't be a boy, so I don't want to exist.'" HEARTBREAKING. You can tell while reading this that the mom regrets so much in how she first reacted to her child's trans identity, since she started off denying it or thinking it was a "phase," and you know what, she had a huge learning curve. The way she grows to support and advocate for her child just gave me hope that there are parents like this in the world. I'm so happy that the switch flipped in her head to take her child seriously and believe her. The way the author connected her present situations with her daughter to her gay brother's past was also seamlessly done in my opinion and really shows the author's growth in knowing now how she could have supported both of them better throughout her life.
The parts where the mom was desperately trying to get accommodations for her autistic daughter reminded me a lot of my mom trying to get accommodations for my brother with ADHD in our rural farm town middle school because they did NOT want to make education more accessible for him. My mom turned to her friend who had struggled hard to get accommodations for her neurodivergent children and she was able to give my mom tips, and this accommodation grapevine is so important in these situations.
I just felt very emotional reading this altogether, but if you can make it through the difficult read, it is so worth it. Protecting trans kids is more important now than ever, and this book truly exemplifies that.

This book absolutely blew me away. It was gut-wrenching and transformed me with every word. As a career early childhood/lower elementary educator who has sought to ensure that every child in my classrooms over the years has felt seen exactly as they are, it was horrifying to know what Abi, Paul, and Greta endured within their town and school system. I was at once enraged, broken, and empowered. Maxwell's writing was so beautifully raw and honest, and every word appeals to the humanity that I so very much want to believe exists in every one of us. This is a book I will share with all my loved ones and colleagues, and keep in my toolbox for any families who need to know they are not alone. Thank you to the publisher for the opportunity to read this -- I am better for it.

It was a rollercoaster of emotions. This was a story about a family that have a child that’s trandgender. This is Maxwell’s journey and her internal struggles. I truly enjoyed reading this memoir.

This is a beautiful memoir of Abi Maxwell's journey through life as she navigates giving birth to an autistic son who, at an early age, presents a strong conviction that he should be a girl. Abi initially struggles with this admission, grappling with feelings of concern for her child's future and pressure from her family and community to write it off as 'just a phase.' Abi sought help from the school and medical professional and through these processes, she comes to understand and accept her child's true identity. Abi becomes her daughter's biggest advocate, fiercely supporting her right to be herself. I couldn't possibly summarize the battles this family fought within the school system, the community, and society at large.

This memoir is told mostly in chronological order from the birth of Abi's child, but she includes flashbacks from her life and childhood that are interwoven based on their relevance to current events rather than following a strict timeline. These flashbacks provided some reprieve from the struggles her family is going through, but at times, I wanted to skip ahead and just continue with the main narrative. The battles this family fought and survived were deeply moving and I sobbed several times while reading. It left me feeling angry at society for lacking human decency, but motivated me to do more as an ally.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for early access to this book. Full disclosure - I know the author. This is important, not because I won't be giving an honest review, but because I would probably not have read this book if I didn't know her. And that would have been my loss.

In her memoir, Maxwell gives us an open, honest, real account of what it means to be the mother of a transgender child - emotionally, socially, culturally, politically. In short sections (not necessarily in order, which took some getting used to), she gives us glimpses into her own childhood, her marriage, her deep connection to her home state of New Hampshire, and the events that caused her family to leave the town where she grew up. She introduces us to her daughter Greta, a transgender child who knew exactly who she was well before her parents were willing to admit it themselves. The short sections help the reader digest the honesty with which this book is written. In spare, powerful language, you can feel Maxwell's emotions jump off the page - pain, determination, confusion, rage, happiness, fear, hope. We understand that no matter how hard it was for us to read, it was that much harder to write, and exponentially harder to live through. I am left with an admiration for Maxwell's ability to look squarely at herself, her life, and her actions. We all have regrets in our lives. Maxwell reminds us that it is never too late to do better.

I don't read a lot of memoirs, but I do understand their importance - and I truly believe this one is well worth the read. Memoirs open us up to other people's lived experiences, thereby opening our minds and hearts, allowing us to be kinder and more empathetic humans. Greta's story is painful to read, but it would have been my loss to miss out on reading about her journey. She is the shining star here, so sure of who she is and who she is meant to be. A clarity that many people never achieve. My hope is that people read this memoir and rethink their ideas - about transgender people, about autism, about what it means to be part of a community, about ensuring that everyone has the right to be themselves - and maybe Greta's story (and stories of those like her) will be a little brighter in the future.

I loved this book. It was absolutely amazing and so gut wrenching. It was devastating to read about what this family had to grow through and how strong they had to pretend to be for their daughter. I wish nothing but the best of all of them. I was so amazing to read about parents who learned and grow in order to support their child. Throughout the book, you can see the parents educate themselves and take the time to understand what’s happening with their daughter even if they didn’t truly understand it to begin with. The writing was also amazing and so well done. This is an amazing book overall.

This is an incredibly honest and emotional memoir by the mother of a trans kid. It is a hard read, but it is a needed one as she gives voice to important lived experiences., as well as the true impact of the words and actions of others. She thoughtfully explains her emotions and experiences as a mom, as well as family and friends, as she supports Greta. It cannot have been an easy book to write as she revisited navigating so much, but the author has channeled her voice into a powerful memoir because this story is so important. Thanks to NetGalley for the early look at this September 2024 release.

I love to read transgender memoirs. The many ways that people come to understand their identities and struggle to live a life that is true to who they are. But I seldom read writing from the perspectives of a trans person's parents or their partners. I've seen enough misunderstanding or refusal to understand and empathize with the incommunicable that I am leery of such texts. When I first requested this book as an eARC from Netgalley, I completely missed the title subscript of "A Mother's Story" and thought this would be a story told by a young transgender woman!

However, One Day I'll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman by Abi Maxwell is a beautiful example of a mother's love and support for her child. This book follows Maxwell's journey as a parent, from her difficult youth to meeting her future husband, moving back to her hometown, and becoming a parent to a unique child.

Maxwell is honest and open about her struggles, wanting to support her child, Greta, as she tries to express herself but being concerned with how society would treat her. She is right to be worried, as many in her community, including teachers and other essential figures in Greta's life, choose to remain close-minded and unsupportive, not only of her transgender identity but also as an autistic person who needs special support to thrive.

I enjoyed the author's honesty and self-analysis in this memoir. Maxwell often thinks about how she could have been a better support to her daughter (for example, if she had recognized Greta was trans and allowed her to transition earlier) or to her gay brother (by being a better ally and supporting him during their early years as he struggled with societal homophobia). She reflects deeply on her personal growth but is also aware of how she must continue to develop so she can be a better support to other transgender people in her community and continue to fight for her daughter as transphobes attempt to take her rights away.

Maxwell stresses the point of educating oneself; through the memoir, she attempts to reach out to community members with resources, books, or organizations they could connect with to understand transgender people.

Overall, I found this book profoundly moving. I hope that by sharing her experience as an everyday person who just happened to have a transgender daughter, Maxwell can connect with other parents or people who are curious about what it is like to have a transgender child and open their eyes to the struggles these children face. I also hope that this book can let parents of trans children know that they are not alone and help them connect with other organizations or personal advocates like Abi Maxwell so that they can better help these children.

Hopefully, books like this can reach even those people who choose to harden their hearts to transgender people and show them that they are just like them. In an ideal world, Greta's community would have supported her like any other child to grow into a healthy and happy adult, not by forcing her to be someone else through expectations and roles but by letting her shine as her own person. Maybe through books like this, one day, that world can be our future.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC and to Abi Maxwell for writing this memoir! I learned so much from this book! After reading this book, I feel like I know more about what it is like to be transgender and a transgender parent. I hope the people from the community where Greta first went to school read this book. I think thay would have a bigger understanding after they did so. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn and understand more about the transgender community.

I requested and received an eARC of One Day I'll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman by Abi Maxwell. Maxwell’s memoir follows her journey as a mother learning to advocate for her child in their rural New Hampshire town. When her child, assigned male at birth, requests pink sneakers for Kindergarten and challenges typical gender roles she worries how the other students and parents will react. When Maxwell’s child articulates that she is a girl and begins to go by a new name, her identity creates a firestorm that challenges her family and the community she lives in. While describing her fight to ensure her daughter is protected and affirmed, the author also reflects on her brother’s experiences as a gay man and what her daughter’s journey has forced her to reconsider through a new lens.

I enjoyed the author’s writing style in this memoir. She is open and honest about her initial struggles with her daughter’s truth, and acknowledges her own growth through this. This acknowledgement of growth is also apparent in the way she discusses her brother, ways she might have been a better ally to him growing up, imagining how different his experiences must have been. I appreciated that the text was broken into smaller, quick chapters. It ensures that each point or story the author introduces is given proper space for reflection. Facts and statistics are woven into Maxwell’s memoir in a way that feels natural, reinforcing that the answers to the challenges that the trans community face are quite clear if we’re only willing to listen.

Overall, I found Maxwell’s memoir to be evocative and very effective. It is impossible for me to imagine a reader who wouldn’t be angered and saddened reading by Maxwell and her daughter’s journey, but if they didn’t exist then neither would this memoir or the transphobia that prevents children like Greta from growing up safe and secure in the knowledge that the world will embrace them. I hope that by sharing her experience as the mother of a trans youth, Maxwell will reach those parents who feel alone in their struggle and help to shed light for those who aren’t able or willing to understand. Every child deserves to be seen and affirmed for who they are, not who they are expected to be. With trans rights and healthcare under constant fire in this country, this book felt more important than ever.

It is infuriating and disappointing (though unfortunately not surprising) what Greta and her family have had to deal with so Greta can just be a kid and live her authentic life. A person being transgender is not something most people think about or are familiar with. Having questions and concerns is understandable. But if you educate yourself and really think about what is going on you should realize there is nothing to fear. A person who is transgender does not want special privileges or treatment; they just want to be acknowledged and accepted for who they are. And anyone who reads this book will recognize that allowing Greta to be Greta is the best thing for her and those around her.

Absolutely beautiful, heartbreaking memoir of one mother's experience of parenting a transgender child. This is eloquently written and will make you mad, make you cry, and make you think.

Abi's daughter was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum disorder before they realized she is a girl. This memoir explains the journey from pregnancy, through all of their well-meaning times of being in denial to acceptance, and then to abuse and bullying from her community. Every thing I have ever thought is brought up by someone in the book, "are you sure they aren't just gay?" or "isnt this just pretend?" Over time we realize how little we understand, but this book has helped me understand someone else's experience. I often think of the Brene Brown quote, "I am not here to be right, I am here to get it right." Over time I know there is so much I don't know about the world. Whether you are a transgender person, a parent of a transgender child, an ally, or someone who just wants to learn more, this book is immensely powerful in helping us be more empathetic and to love our youth the way God created them to be. I am so embarrassed and ashamed for those people that deny her humanity. I know they have been lied to and I know they have been misled, and that they are scared. I pray that these people repent and realize the truth of how much harm they have caused.

Obviously I cannot say that I know exactly what her experience is like, but boy did she help me try.
I am a mom of a girl and a boy, until they tell me differently. I am a mom of a neurotypical child and a child with autism. I do know what it is like to have that realization that the world will not see your child the way you do. The world will not always appreciate your kid for their gifts.

This book will undoubtedly save lives and make the marginalized people feel seen.

Thank you for sharing your story with us, Abi. It can't have been an easy decision. Much love and prayers to your family.

Thanks to NetGalley and Knopf, Pantheon, Vintage, and Anchor
for the ARC.