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Member Reviews
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Even if Neko Case was not an awarded and acclaimed musician, this would be a captivating memoir for it’s dead-eyed candor, intelligence, luminous and disturbing account of her very lonely, brutal childhood limned by largely indifferent criminally neglectful parents. Abuse and trauma, particularly from her mercurial beloved (for a time) mother are the background soundtrack of her coming of age, although the redemptive love of animals (especially horses) and music and the natural world cushion some of the blows. Perennially hungry for care, food, love and a sense of belonging, she is shunted between houses and states and lies by her parents who have long since divorced. She is left on her own for hours during the day when her parents go to work, and in her private world of despair and fear and solitude, the seeds of an artist inexplicably germinate. I have highlighted so many beautiful passages in the digital arc of this book, which makes for furious reading. It also advances a strong sense of hope and admiration for Case’s overall survival and her tenacious path toward musicianship. The poetry was always there, but releasing it into music is grand to behold. Her meditation on the art of songwriting and her generosity toward fellow musicians is compelling. I am now listening to all her former albums and discovering even greater riches. Highly recommended.
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Neko Case poetically tells her life story in the recently released tome, The Harder I Fight the More I Love You. I first heard Miss Case as part of The New Pornographers but eventually found my way to her solo work. I knew she was excellent at what she did; however, I knew next-to-nothing about her life. This beautiful book gives a no-holds barred account of her heartbreaks & triumphs and how they inform her songwriting. I highly suggest giving this a read regardless of how familiar you are with her music. It’s truly a great story that anyone could find inspiration in.
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What an incredible memoir by an incredible musician - poetic, revealing, intimate, and hopeful, Neko Case does not hold back when writing about herself. Something that should be evident from her passion in music, this compelling work had me finish it in a couple of days. The funny thing was, I wanted to get to the end quickly, after seeing the sad and lonely girl in the beginning , to see the incredible success that she becomes and feel vindicated and relieved on her behalf. Case doesn't really go into her major successes as an artist though - her success story seems to lie in coming to terms with herself as both an artist and a friend - in recognizing what she is good at and learning to embrace it, and acknowledging her shortcomings. She values being a good friend and a good musician - she spends more time talking about her failures than her successes, and by then end if you didn't know who she was you would think she was still the same scraggly punk kid wearing holey men's overalls and biting the heads off of fleas. Maybe she is - this book made me reflect on myself and my own childhood, and how it shaped me. This memoir is a work of art in its own right - not just for fans of Case but for anyone struggling to become the person they look up to.
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If you're a fan of the haunting, mysterious poetry of Neko Case's lyrics - but would appreciate a little bit more of a narrative through-line - this is the book for you. Case's early life defies easy explanation, but makes for a riveting story. Her adolescent incarnation as a kickass rocker seems inevitable when viewed through the lens of her childhood, laced as it was with the magic formula of neglect and its glamorous twin freedom. I hope this book finds its way into the hands of many teenage girls who need the injection of encouragement offered by this girl who became a gender-and-genre-role-defying woman.
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I've heard great things about this book, so I jumped at the chance to read it despite not knowing Neko Case's music.
Some of the writing is richly descriptive. But ultimately this memoir just wasn't for me - most of it focuses on childhood, which is routinely my least favorite part of memoirs. Then when we get to Neko's music career, I felt like so much was glossed over - things happen very quickly. I read every word and feel like I don't have any better understanding of her life or career, just that she had a rough childhood and both of her parents' trauma and shortcomings affected her.
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I have been a Neko fan for decades and I was thrilled when I heard she was writing a memoir. This was a 5-star read for me across the board - just like she does with her lyrics and music, her writing transported me and had me goose-bumped and crying several times. Thanks for this, Neko, bravo.
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You don't need to be a fan of Neko Case's music to read her memoir, but you will admire her even more once you finish. She really had a rough start at life and had to fight her way through it to become the amazing artist she is now. Her book focuses a lot on her early life, with less attention to then ins and outs of her musicianship, but I appreciated her story of selfhood. All of the experiences she describes make me understand her music and voice so much more now. It's pretty bleak at times, but this is a great read, and really recommend it.
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Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC of this book. I am a huge fan of Neko Case, and I think she's maybe the best lyricist of all-time? So I had high hopes for this memoir, and I was THRILLED that it was as good as I'd hoped. The writing was so lush and dreamy at times, but didn't sugarcoat any of the many challenges she faced and overcame on her journey. The only criticism I have is that I wish it had been longer.
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Love Neko and loved this book. Deep dive into her personal history, told in a very raw and open way. For fans of Neko Case and music memoirs.
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Neko Case tells her life story so far - the good and the bad. Never one to shy away, she unflinchingly talks about the neglect and abuse she suffered as a child. But she also tries to find the humanity in her parents - people too young to be responsible, bound by their own traumas. Neko rises above - she fights to figure out who she is and what she wants. Music becomes her life: creating music, recording music, and traveling all over to play with her friends.
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As a fan of Neko Case and her music, I was enthusiastic to read this memoir and discover whether her impressive songwriting talent translated to the printed page of her first book in the story of her life. It does, indeed. Having no familiarity with the elements of her biography, this was a particularly enlightening and moving account of a child raised in relative poverty and neglect who learns to develop her considerable artistic gifts in spite of a host of traumatic events, painful experiences, and difficult situations. Thankfully, though, her recounting of the challenges and privations of growing up poor in the Pacific Northwest don't overwhelm the reader, thanks to her frequent inclusion of moments of great beauty, tenderness, and humor. The author and I are nearly the same age, which contributed to my particular enjoyment of her story of growing up immersed in many of the same elements of pop culture that captured my own attention. I also consider myself a devoted music lover of above average intensity, but it was a revelation to read the account of someone with an absolute obsession with music in every possible way. The author's description of constant immersion in recorded music for hours at a time on a daily basis certainly resonated with my own experience. I especially appreciated her reported use of an "imitation Walkman" as her preferred delivery mechanism for her listening habit, as I remember doing the same. (I also was incapable of affording the genuine article back in the day!) Her obsession with attending live music performances in her formative years eclipsed even my own, and I was particularly excited to read the names of the dozens of bands that she enjoyed in concert. If someone were to curate a playlist of all the bands the author name-checks in this volume, that would be one incredible listening experience. Neko Case is a talented and creative multi-disciplinary artist, and her skill is just as formidable in this book as in any other medium she has attempted. I was enthralled the entire way through, and found myself frequently and repeatedly thinking, "OK: just one more chapter and I'll put it down and get some sleep." Very rarely was I able to do that.
I loved this book and I highly recommend it, even for readers who have not yet had the opportunity to enjoy the author's music. I am pleased to have had the opportunity to review it thanks to the advance electronic reader copy provided by Grand Central Publishing and Netgalley.com in exchange for an honest review.
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The publisher's blurb is pretty spot-on for The Harder I Fight the More I Love You. Case takes us back to her childhood, which includes some dark places that one would probably mention in therapy. Case's writing (“raised by two dogs and a space heater” for example) make for some lyrical storytelling even when describing unpleasant events. It all makes sense though, because these dark places are conditions that can lead to great art.
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My thanks to NetGalley and Grand Central Publishing for an advance copy of this memoir about growing up, finding things to hang on to, music, finding others, touring, old cars, demolition derbies and much much more.
I don't remember how I first became aware of the singer Neko Case. I'm not sure if I heard a power pop song, a country song, or a Canadian mash-up of different bands, all of which Case was a part of. Maybe is was a CD sampler from a magazine, or a live show, as Case toured incessantly with a lot of different players. Maybe it was even a soundtrack. This is why I can't write my memoirs, I don't have a clear memory of important things. Case however has no problems, remembering, though in many cases it would be best if she forgot quite a lot. Though one can tell that everything she has ever experienced has come out in her music. While it was heck to grow up in, Case has proven she can pretty much survive anything. The Harder I Fight the More I Love You is a memoir of the life of, singer songwriter, actress, and survivor Neko Case, dealing with her childhood, her pains, the power of music, the power of animals, and the power of one person to make change for themselves.
The book begins with a description of Case's parents that sounds like the opening of a very sad song. Case's parents were two kids who got caught up in a moment, and from this Case was born. Case's parents were never happy together and Case's parents separately. Case's mother also did something that I only thought could happen in soap opera's, and had to have been awful to go through. Case's parents were broken people, something that Case came to realize rather young, and causing Case to emancipate herself at an early age. There was much wandering, and some bad situations, until music Case's one refuge slowly began to absorb Case, and open Case up to a new world, a world of like-minded people wanting to create. Drumming for a local band started something within Case. Moving to Canada made the idea even bigger. Soon Case was recording a debut album, and working on songs. And working on getting a better sense of self. Tours, meeting musicians who were supportive, and musicians who were also disappointing, became a fact of life. And so did a rising fan base that opened Case's life to more opportunities.
I have loved Neko Case since I first heard that voice. The technical name is contralto, but to me is unique, and full of both pain, anger, redemption and of course hope. Or case is doing a funny song, and that's even better. I knew a little about Case and the life she had before music, but I did not know how rough and ugly it was. And sad. I can't imagine having the parents Case had, and not being ruined by them. All credit to Case for being far stronger than I ever could. The book is sad in places, funny in others, and makes one want to watch demolition derbies, and fix carburetors in old cars. Also listen to a lot of good music. The writing is very good, painful sometimes, other times one is glad that Case found supportive people, other musicians, even people just making Case dinner. One learns alot about what a person can go through, but also learns about music, and bands and camaraderie of the road. And what vans to buy for music tours.
I liked this book a lot, but with is was a happier story. Neko Case seems if not happy, content in the life Case is living, and I hope to read and hear more about it. Fans of any of the bands Case is in will enjoy this, there are plenty of stories about music, and tours. Also readers of strong people dealing with bad things and striving will enjoy this. A really wonderful and well-written memoir.
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As a fan of Neko Case's music, but not someone who follows celebrities too closely, I didn't have much in the way of expectations. Would the writing be bad? The tone vapid and self-aggrandizing? The content rigidly chronological and bogged down in minutiae? Happily, this is none of those things. Case had (what I hope is) an unusually chaotic and challenging upbringing, rife with abuse and upheaval. Through impressive determination, resilience, and the help of many friends, she succeeded in surviving and creating an impressive body of work in the process - AND ultimately processing and understanding her family's generational traumas with what seems like little outside help.
The writing is sometimes choppy and can feel a little unfocused at points, but I think it works well with the narrative. If readers experience any whiplash from abrupt transitions or stream of consciousness memories, imagine what living through them would be! The lack of (what I'd describe as) polish fits.
Ultimately, this probably has the most appeal for Case's fans, but would be an atmospheric and thought-provoking memoir for anyone who appreciates grittier books about overcoming trauma and flourishing.
Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the arc!
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I had never heard of this author before,Neko Case. As a lover of R&R,esp.Acid Rock of the 70’s,Folk Music,R&B,Bluegrass ,Classical Music and Opera,never was into Country nor Alternative,Punk,Heavy Metal. I love reading all different bios,not just of the rich and/or famous. This was a quick read and interesting as to how coming from such a terrible upbringing with two parents that had issues from their own past, Neko not only survived with her love of music and dedication and determination to survive and succeed. Just putting up with being as part of traveling musicians in seedy bars,clubs,etc driving all over the U.S. either can make or break one,especially earning so little money for your efforts.Perseverance wins in the end if you have talent,love your craft as well as believe in yourself.
Thank you NetGalley,and Grand Central Publishing for the opportunity to read this ebook.
Book will be on sale,January 28,2025.
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Neko writes just as beautifully in prose as she does in song. She's survived some harrowing circumstances and writes about them with candor and grace.
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I have known Neko Case as a brilliant songwriter, so I knew I was in for a treat with this one. And it did not disappoint! Beautifully written, heartbreaking at times, but resilient and sharp. I loved every second of it!
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I have always loved this musician’s work and requested the galley of her memoir on a whim. But her writing style is basically like diary entries, and from the get-go, it was too warts and all. I was never much interested in reading this anyway, and the high school confessional style turned me off. Don’t write your memoir unless you can “write” it.
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Neko Case is one of my favorite musical artists - nothing quite matches her eerie, powerful alto, her gorgeously poetic lyrics. It was a pleasant surprise opening up her memoir and immediately "hearing" her in its narrative voice: it is written in a tumbling, passionate prose that can sometimes create a confusing sentence, but more often has a poetic turn of phrase I adore. Her story isn't a happy one - the woman has been through a ton of awful in her life - but it's vivacious and life-affirming. Highly recommended to anyone with an interest in music, feminism, or modern folk tales.
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This was such a good memoir. I have only listened to Neko Case's music sporadically but I've always enjoyed it, I'm glad I decided to give her book a try. It was introspective yet universal, and as someone who has lived in the PNW and visited many of the other places she mentioned throughout I felt particularly connected to her narrative.