3.5⭐️
I really enjoyed the writing in Rules for Ghosting, the author has an engaging style and the characters are very empathetic. I also thought the premise is interesting. Ezra can see ghosts and has to take over the family funeral home business, it’s an excellent set up for a lovely ghost romance. I don’t think the promise of the premise was quite realized for me, as I would have loved a ghostly romance. I thought the parts around living with grief were especially well done and extremely poignant. You can really feel the impact his grandfather’s loss has on Ezra, their connection was definitely a highlight. It’s also quite effective as a family drama and I loved Ezra digging into some of his family secrets, it messy and realistically complicated. For me, it is pretty light on romance, but I did like the connection growing between Jonathan and Ezra by the end. This was skillfully written and has a well developed and interesting main character, I enjoyed Ezra’s story.

I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book.

Ezra's family owns and operates a funeral home. He's Jewish, trans, and he can see ghosts. When Ezra's mother abruptly leaves the family business, Ezra finds himself back working at the funeral home and surrounded by ghosts, one of which is the dead husband of his new love interest, Jonathan.

This is a heavy romance novel since it deals with death, grief, family drama, and loving after loss. While romance plays a big part in the novel, it's also a coming of age story for Ezra. There's a lot going on in this book and a lot of secondary characters to keep track of. I loved Jonathan's character and wish more time was devoted to developing his and Ezra's relationship. Some of the attempts at levity fell flat, some of the transitions between scenes were abrupt, and some of the Jewish terminology could have used more explanations (or a glossary at the end). Despite these shortcomings, I was moved Ezra's character development and loved the relationship he and Jonathan cultivated. This is a strong debut novel for Shelly Jay Shore.

Thank you to Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine | Dell for providing me with an advanced copy of this novel via NetGalley.

This book is 100% what you need to gear up for spooky season! We have ghosts, love and fun! Ezra was a great main character; I loved that this book offered non dramatic inclusion! Ezra is navigating being the family fixer and social expectations, religious expectations and finding love all while seeing his new love interests ghost of his deceased husband! This book sounds heavy but the content is navigated so well it is light hearted but also has such good soul to really help Ezra through love, death and life!

This book was so different. We have a Jewish family, they own a funeral business, one of their kids Ezra is a trans, and he sees dead people.

There is Romance, then a little bit of coming of age, because Ezra starts to slowly find his footing when it comes to his identity, and also being able to handle his wild family, because the drama is crazy. And then there is a love interest, and a specific ghost that keeps lingering around, that somehow connects all of them meaning Ezra and his family and his love interest. And then there are his amazing, amazing roommates, that I adore, which I felt made the book so much more fun to read.

There was so much going on, and it was hard to connect with any of the characters, and I felt at times it was hard to finally finish, because I felt like the book kept going around in circles over the same problems. I don’t know if this is something that may be families in the Jewish community, which is centered around that, which is actually amazing because I learned so much.

I loved the humor in the story, and I also loved all of the controversies, and all of the issues that this family had, and what they did to make things better. Families are not perfect, and they all make mistakes, and this book was great at highlighting that.

4.5 stars

There was parts of this book I wasn't expecting and ended up really enjoying. I felt this book would be a lot more focused on the one ghost and those interactions and then the rest being about the romance. But here was so much else involved. I learned so much about Jewish traditions especially those around death that I would not have expected to learn in a romance novel. Also really appreciated seeing some of Ezra's journey in his own identity in flashbacks or memories.

I have found especially in queer and/or racially diverse stories, there is so many relationships beyond the main one. There is always a lot of focus on the families, friends, and community. This novel had so much of that and I absolutely loved it.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC!

As much as I wanted more focus on the romance, there were way too many things happening in the background.

Too many characters and scenes involving them took up most of the space. And some things didn't even make much sense.

I dont think this book was for me! Sorry.

Thank you Netgalley and publisher for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I very much wanted to be blown out of the park by this book, but it feels like sometimes I wasn't. I loved the representation in the book, the silly family dynamics and the two moms running off together. But some parts of the plot fell short. I almost wanted more ghosts then Ezra saw.

This is more of a 3.5 stars review. Maybe that's unfair, but I want to be honest. Based on what I *thought* I'd be reading, I expected RULES FOR GHOSTING to have a bit more of an edge to it. Or, at least, for a ghost (or a few) to have more "bite" to them. Many of my high school writers love horror and hauntings, so I blame them that I felt this one was a bit too "soft" to work for my creative writing classes. However, the specificity of the book's setting is outstanding. I will use Shelly Jay Shore's debut book as an example of why being so specific with setting and characters can make such a difference.

5 stars is not enough.

Ezra spends his time worrying about everything and everyone else. From his older brother and little sister, to his parents who's marriage is imploding after his mother announces at Passover dinner that she and the Rabbi's wife are moving in together, to the family business the Friedman Family Memorial Chapel which is standing on the edge of bankruptcy, to Jonathan his new neighbor who also volunteers at the Chapel and who's recently departed husband Ben is haunting Ezra. Ben gives Ezra cryptic instructions to 'fix it' but it isn't clear who or what needs fixing.

Read if you like:
-Character Studies
-Emotional Storylines
-Queer Romance
-Navigating Complicated Relationships with Religion, Tradition, and Family

Rules for Ghosting is heartbreakingly beautiful. Its slow pace allows for a wonderful character study, and I was deeply invested in Ezra's journey. I just want to reach into the pages and hug him so badly. I cried a lot, but they were cathartic, cleansing tears. The conversations he had with his sister really spoke to me. I highlighted so many parts because I want to be able to find them again and reread when I need encouragement.

And then there was Jonathan. Oh. My. God. The slow, tender build up between the two of them was everything. The intimate scene was perfect. The best I've ever read. The tenderness, the understanding, the explosiveness of their connection. I'll never get over it and I can't be normal about it.

I can't recommend this one enough! It might not be for everyone, but if you are considering it: read it.

Rules for Ghosting was far more profound of a read than I was anticipating. I thought I was reading a cute, ghostly rom-com. Instead I was pulled through a complex journey of personal identity, ancient mystical time-keeping and deeply layered family patterns. Whew. This book will stick with me for a long time.

Ezra is a trans man navigating a lot of shifts happening all at once during the sacred time in the Hebrew calendar between Passover and Shavuot. In Judaism, this is a time of personal transformation, counting our footsteps from freedom to finding home. I was struck over and over by how perfectly this story wove into this concept of time-keeping. I was also impressed with the way Shelley Jay Shore played with the dichotomies between life and death, love and grief so beautifully.

The characters in Rules for Ghosting, whether main or side characters (dead or alive), were all well-developed, complex beings that I found created a texture to the book I haven’t experienced in a while. The way these characters and their relationships spun a web around Ezra left me feeling so warm and held. Watching Ezra grow within the comfort of this web is an experience I won’t forget anytime soon. The love story in this book is easily one of the most tender love stories I’ve read in recent memory. Witnessing Ezra and Jonathan navigate holding love and grief in the same space is just perfection.

I truly love this book and will recommend it to everyone needing some inspiration during their own journey of freedom and finding their way through the ideas around family.

Thank you to Netgalley for the advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

4.5 ⭐️
The fact that this is a debut novel blows my mind! This book was so steeped in Jewish tradition, queer romance, paranormal hilarity and truly a journey of self discovery and self acceptance

Ezra is a trans man whose family runs a Jewish funeral home. Ezra is back after a long absence from the family business, able to see ghosts and running a funeral home is no easy task. But through it all there’s loads of family drama (of which there is A LOT) and blooming romances in the most unexpected ways.

Ezra was so relatable to me. He always felt he had to take care of everyone else and learning to let other people be there for him was a hard won lesson. Jonathan was such a perfect counterpart to Ezra. The 2 of them had a romance that built slowly and for good reason and seeing both of them come alive (pun intended) in the presence of the other was truly beautiful.

Thank you so much, Random House Publishing Group/Ballantine and NetGalley, for this adorable ARC!

This book was a delight. I loved Ezra and his journey throughout the book. I loved that this showcased found family, striving to be a better communicator, and complicated family dynamics. This book had a little bit of everything in such a wonderful way!

4.5 stars

This book really blew me away. If you read and liked/loved The Dead Romantics by Ashley Poston, I think you’ll enjoy this one.

There’s definitely a love story here, but there’s also family drama, and ghosts. It also centers around queer relationships and characters, and the main characters are Jewish. I learned a lot about their customs regarding burials, and it’s delivered in a such a way that as a reader you could easily understand their customs and the reasons behind them. It was beautiful.

This story grabbed me from the very first page, and I could not put it down. (I was reading it while waiting for the Casey McQuiston event to start.)

Fantastic debut. I cannot wait to see what else this author writes.

I was looking for a good ghost story and this one sounded like it had an interesting storyline and some great characters. While I can't say it was a good ghost story, I did like some of the characters. The book summary introduces the different storylines going on in this story and there is a lot going on too. We have the MC, Ezra, who has been seeing ghosts for most of his life. He’s still hung up on his ex, Ollie, who lives in the unit above him, when he meets Jonathan who lives in the unit below him. Jonathan is still mourning his recently deceased hubby, Ben. There is also Ezra’s family, who are Jewish, and who run a funeral home, which is where Ezra sees most of the ghosts.

The story starts with a seven-year-old Ezra, who hates wearing dresses and wants to wear pants like his brother, Aaron. Ezra already has hopes and dreams of becoming a boy as well (it isn’t until he’s a teenager that he decides he wants to transition). It’s here, in the funeral home, that Ezra’s Zayde (grandfather) died and Ezra first sees him. Fast forward 20yrs and Zayde still haunts Ezra – literally! Ezra, and his adorable Pittie, Sappho, move into his new apartment (recommended by Ollie), already occupied with roommates, Lily and Nathan and where he meets Jonathan.

As if this story didn’t already have a lot going on, during a Passover seder with the family and guests, Rabbi Isaac and his wife Judy, that Ezra’s mother and Judy announce that they have been having an affair for years and that they are leaving their respective husbands. Because Ezra’s mom helped run the funeral home, Ezra steps up to help the family by stepping into his mom’s job, which he hates. Ezra prefers to work with the living like being a birth doula instead of the dead, and he especially hates the ghosts that roam the halls of the funeral home.

There is one particular ghost, Ben, Jonathan’s late husband (and the Rabbi’s and Judy’s son), who doesn’t seem to be sticking to the rules of ghosting, which are:

Rule #1: They can't speak.
Rule #2: They can't move.
Rule #3: They can't hurt you.

However, even Ben seems pretty clueless as to why he’s haunting Ezra. However, he does impart on Ezra some secrets he never shared with Jonathan. A whole new storyline regarding Ezra's family and the funeral home is revealed in the second half that was kind of interesting and certainly added some redeeming factors to the overall story.

This was a story of love and loss, of grieving for not only the dead, but the death of fantasies and secrets. It’s a story of acceptance of loved ones in spite of their flaws and mistakes as well as one’s own flaws and mistakes. It’s about the courage and strength of moving on as well as becoming who you are and want to be, no matter what. I’m not sure I would call this a ghost story (in spite of the title) because the ghosts didn’t seem to play a prominent role in the story, other than Ben, whose didn’t really play much of a role until the second half. It’s more of a domestic drama and a love story.

Shore spent A LOT of time in Ezra’s head, so the reader got to witness pretty much every thought and emotion that passed through his brain. The characterization was ok for most of the other MC’s; I would have liked a little more development on Jonathan and Ben or some of the ensemble characters. That might have added some much-needed interest in the story. The pacing was slow, a bit of a snoozer, as in it was actually putting me to sleep. If it hadn’t been a NetGalley book, I probably would have DNFed it in the first half. Fortunately, the second half got a tad better. The story and writing were ok, and I did like the ending, mostly for finally getting to it. I’m looking at an overall rating of 2.8 that I will be rounding up to a 3star rating.

At first, I thought that maybe I allowed myself to get sucked in by a catchy title (that does happen from time to time) because I really do love a good ghost story. However, I would not label this as a good ghost story. I want to thank NetGalley and Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine for sending me this eARC in exchange for my honest review.

#NetGalley #RandomHousePublishingGroupBallantine #RulesforGhosting

I really wanted to like this book, as it has all the things I was looking for: Jewish rep and queerness. However, when I started reading, the quality of the writing kept me from getting sucked into the story. The story was cute enough, I just didn't vibe with the writing style.

Thanks to NetGalley and Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine | Dell for a copy of the ARC.

I could not put this book down.

Ezra is such a relatable character. We all either know someone or are the someone that gives and gives, and never asks for anything for themselves. The way he was expected to essentially help raise his siblings as a child, the way that he comes to the rescue for so many but not himself, the way that he does that to the point of burning himself out - when it finally catches up to him, there are so many emotions that go with it.

Ezra being able to see ghosts is incorporated into the story so well. It's a scary thing for him as a kid until he starts to understand it, and then it just is. It's not something that gets in the way or interferes with the story line to a level where it is difficult to suspend disbelief and really lose yourself in the story. The relationship that happens between Ezra and Ben, and how it is used to help heal Jonathon and to heal Ezra is just so unique and heartwarming.

And the effortless representation in this book! Ezra being trans and how the book deals with that is just perfect. Showing the struggles that trans people might experience not just in daily activities, but during intimacy in relationships was eye opening for me. I don't have a lot of experience with trans characters yet, but I would like to think that how Ezra is written is excellent representation. When he finally gets to a point with Jonathon where he is all there during an intimate scene, it is absolutely beautiful. Also, as someone who is ace, the casual and accurate ace rep with Ollie is so appreciated.

This was honestly probably the best book that I have read so far this year. There is so much going on, and so many layers to it but it just WORKS and it flows so well. Too often when books have a lot of different elements going on, some or all of the plot gets over the top or too confusing to follow - that is NOT the case with this book. It was light hearted when it needed to be, heavy when it was warranted, and all of the connections in between were just right.

I received an ARC on NetGalley in exchange for my honest review, and lord am I glad that I requested it because it was well worth the read.

Thanks NetGalley and Dell Publishing for the ARC.

I always enjoy a book that really makes you think, especially when it does it in a way that you don’t even realize you are having revelations until they happen. This book is an amazing example of weaving religion, family expectations and learning to be true to yourself without turning to an after school special. I am not Jewish but the way they described the holidays and rituals of Judaism made me understand the importance without bogging down with a detail heavy explanation that would take me out of the story.

The growth of the main character Ezra was so beautiful to read; if you have ever struggled with being true to yourself you can relate. The ghosts in the book aren’t just the actual ghosts but also the ghosts of family expectations that seem to control your future. I can happily recommend this book to anyone who wants to read a good story that will make your tear up a few times.

Shore's debut novel is a marvel. Ghost short, Jewish family saga, romance, wonderful exploration of trans selfhood in the places between necessity, desires, and lived experience--this novel had it all and was incredibly readable on top of all that.

✨ BOOK REVIEW 📖
Rules for Ghosting by @ShellyJayShore
⭐⭐⭐
400 Pages; E-book

I loved that this book had a diverse set of characters and dealt with topics such as grief and family drama. The title led me to believe this would be more on the paranormal side – fall vibes but it wasn’t really that. If you are into that type of thing but looking for something a bit different – this may be the book for you!

I enjoyed Ezra’s character and actually wish we got to see more of the personalities of Ezra’s housemates and friends. Ezra’s family was amazing! I loved the way they worked together on everything. I am definitely a girl who will fall in love with a book if there is a good love story – I feel like this had one, but at the same time I needed more.

Overall, this was a good book to read with cozy vibes and a ton of drama! 💛

Thank you to NetGalley and Random House for the eARC.

This was my favorite read of 2024 to date. I recently finished an arc of Rules for Ghosting by Shelly Jay Shore and I LOVED it. The trans rep was so well done, and I appreciated the author referring to Ezra with his chosen name and pronouns throughout the entire story, including flashbacks prior to his transition (I might be extra partial because my Hebrew name is Miriam Ezra). I really appreciated how it handled grief, and I learned so much about Jewish burial traditions. I was so moved by the care and dedication of the Chevra Kadisha. It seems like it was setting up for a future book for Ezra's brother Aaron as well, definitely excited to read!