A story about the ghosts among us - living and dead, the power of ritual, and the importance of family, Rules for Ghosting had me reading late into the night. Strong queer representation and Jewish representation, compelling writing, and a story that left me feeling filled up and not wanting to part with the characters who I had come to know and love.

This was a book that warmed my heart. The story follows Ezra and how he manages his family drama along with his personal life. His personal life has a twist in that he can see ghosts. This was a beautiful story in learning Jewish culture, the LGBTQ characters, the messiness of family, and a supernatural twist.

I would have loved a bit more on the ghosts, but the bit that what shown was a lovely tie in with the story line.

Thank you to NetGalley and Random House Publishing for the ARC.

I cried, I laughed, and I cried again. Rules for Ghosting is such a delightful exploration of queerness, found family, and life (and death too!). Shelly Jay Shore's heartwarming debut is a must-read this year. I cannot wait to see what they write next!

this was definitely a family drama story. this was okay. i love the queer representation but a lot of this fell flat for me. i wish it focused more on the paranormal aspect and the ghosts more than the family drama.

Thank you Random House and Netgalley for providing me with an e-ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I really enjoyed the cosy vibes of this book. The ghosts were benevolent and kind of just there, just chilling. I kind of wish we got more about them, though. More about how Ezra deals with them, what he does for them, why they’re there. It’s kind of this unexplained phenomenon which might work for some but is usually my main problem with magical realism.

Ezra and Jonathan’s romance was really sweet. I loved the slow burn, the way they carefully eased into things rather than tumbling head first. I really adored Jonathan as a character and lowkey think I would have enjoyed this book more from his POV?

I adored so much of the supporting cast and I wish we’d got more with Ezra’s housemates and friends. They all seemed really cool and there was a great opportunity for that found family vibe and I’m sad we didn’t get that. I did love Ezra’s actual family though, and I loved the way the siblings worked together on everything.

The main reason this isn’t rated higher for me is because I just didn’t understand where the main character was coming from, and I think a lot of that has to do with the author telling instead of showing. We’re told he’s feeling all these things but we’re never really shown exactly why (or if we were, I’m lacking empathy and did not notice any of it was that big a deal). The result is a breakdown that felt a bit over the top? He’d had a big, rough day and that would be reason enough for a minor breakdown, to need to be looked after, but it went beyond that and left me feeling a bit confused in all honesty. I also just got tired of how little self-worth the main character had - it went beyond sympathetic and into frustrating for me.

All in all a decent read but some things that could have been done better.

Between the Jewish funeral home his family owns and operates, and the ghosts he's seen since childhood, Ezra Friedman has grown up surrounded by death. Thankfully his older brother's role as their father's eventual replacement allowed Ezra to leave the funeral home behind. Or at least he had, until his mother dropped a bombshell that left a hole in both their business and their family. Now Ezra is back, attempting to hold everything - and everyone - together, and refusing to acknowledge he might be drowning under it all.

While the rest of his life seems to be crumbling around him, the relationship with his new downstairs neighbor just might be blooming. Coincidentally a volunteer at the funeral home, Johnathan seems to keep popping up in Ezra's life, a pleasant surprise that's slightly hampered by the fact that one of those ghosts Ezra sees is Ben, Johnathan's dead husband. If that wasn't bad enough, Ben has to go and break Ezra's "rules" by actually speaking to him.

Rules for Ghosting is a story about grief and love, about family, be they blood or chosen, and about acceptance. An absolutely beautiful and charming debut - Ezra and Jonathan have my whole heart.

Thank you to Ballantine and NetGalley for the digital ARC in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed in this review are my own.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I’m honestly surprised I enjoyed this one so much. It carries the same spastic, complex, fun, shocking vibes of films like Knives Out and Ready or Not. It’s a mixture of genres including paranormal, queer, and romcom.

A well-blended, slightly chaotic, completely FUN read where a pre-surgery trans man, Ezra, navigates his mother admittance to an affair with the rabbi’s wife, his family’s funeral home on the brink of bankruptcy, and a new volunteer who catches his attention.

Oh, and he can also see dead people and his latest ghost is the dead husband of his love interest who keeps telling him to “fix it,” even though Ezra doesn’t know what “it” is.

So yea, this one is all over the place, and at 400 pages long, it can get a bit overwhelming. But kudos must be gifted to the author because all the plot points had a satisfying conclusion and I thoroughly enjoyed this entire wild ride.

𝙄 𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙚𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙙 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙮 𝙘𝙤𝙥𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙤𝙤𝙠. 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙬𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙤𝙬𝙣.

This was such an emotional but well-written romance novel. As a not so regular reader of romance, this was a very welcome change. The queerness of this book was done just right and it didn't feel as if it was just there for the representation, or that it was forced. The chemistry between the main characters were just amazing. A very heartwarming read. (Original rating at 4.5 stars).

My soul feels so full after reading this delightful book! As queer and Jewish this book resonated with me deeply and brought me so much joy. The Jewish traditions that were represented were done accurately and with respect. The MCs queer identity was also done well with lots of honest moments and experiences that other queer people will relate with. I liked the paranormal aspect I wasn’t sure if it was going to be completely goofy or what but I thought it was the perfect balance of funny and emotional. I had a great time with this book and will be looking out for what the author will be writing next!

This book had A LOT Of different plotlines going on at once. While I did enjoy the queer representation and humor in this book, some of it was lost on me due to the sheer about of drama and other factors all playing into the story. I went in thinking that it would be romance novel and to me, that almost felt like a side plot to the family feuding and drama that took place throughout the book. I honestly thinking it could have been a lit fic just with the family spectacle that was on display.

I did enjoy the writing but it just felt like "too many cooks in the kitchen" as my mom would say. Thank you so much to Netgalley and Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine for this eARC!

I picked this book up because I wanted a queer romance about ghosts. That’s not exactly what I got. The ghost element was pretty much an undertone in the entire book, an afterthought when it was sold as a main plot line. Heck it’s even in the title so you would think it would be given some page time, but sadly that was not the case. The queer element was there, Ezra is trans and is working on fully transitioning. I found this element fully developed and interesting. The romance element was also understated unfortunately. So, what was this book if it really wasn’t anything like it was labeled you ask? Well, it was a family drama. I did enjoy learning some Jewish customs. Ezra and his family are Jewish and own a funeral home and this was the focus of the story. Now had I picked this book up when I was interested in a family drama I may have different thoughts, but you can’t label this a queer love story and then hardly develop the love story, that just doesn’t work for me. The pacing was also incredibly slow, so much so that I would put this book down, and practically forget that I had read anything because I had little desire to pick it back up. I really wanted to know how this book played out, and that sheer stubbornness is what propelled me to finish, but in the end, I was left wanting for the story I was sold in the burb.

Rules for Ghosting follows Ezra as he reluctantly returns to work at his family's funeral home. It reminded me a lot of Dead Romantics, which is a personal favorite, so I was really excited to read this one.

This story had great characters, including an adorable dog that we actually get to see! I loved the found family aspect, all the roommates were so fun, I wanted more of their stories too. The family, particularly the siblings, had a heartwarming bond that was so lovely to read. Overall, I really enjoyed this book!

That being said, I did find the writing style a bit confusing at times, including a section in the beginning where Ollie is referred to as "her" then later in the same chapter called "him." It got clearer as it went on, but it did throw me off and made it a little harder to get into for a bit. (This was an arc read so hopefully it'll be fixed!) I also found the repetitive use of the phrase "he let him get away with a subject change" a bit frustrating. We don't need an announcement every time the characters change the subject during dialogue. These aren't things that should dissuade anyone from giving Rules for Ghosting a chance, it's a great read! 3.5 rounded up!

📖Book Review 📖
⭐️⭐️⭐️
#RulesforGhosting

Rule #1: They can't speak.
Rule #2: They can't move.
Rule #3: They can't hurt you.

This was a good book, with hard hitting themes (trans individuals, diverse LGBTQ characters, grief); however I struggled to get into it due to the 3rd person POV.

Overall it was a unique book, just was expecting more of a witchy/paranormal vibes.

Read this if you
- Like 3rd person POV
- Enjoy Family drama in books
- Are looking for books with a diverse LGBTQ cast of characters

Publication Date: Aug 20th

Thank you to Random House Publishing for the ARC

#booksofinstagram #bookreview #arcreader #arcreview

Prepare to break all of the rules and dive into the family business!

Rules for Ghosting is one of the most surprising books that I have read in a while. Not only was this a super tender and very sweet book, but it also tackled some very hard themes of grief, identity, and happiness. This book follows Ezra, a doula who has run to the other end of the life cycle to escape from his family's business, running a funeral home. Ezra when attending his family's dinner receives a massive bomb drop and his family implodes a bit. However, along with this, Ezra picks up some shifts are the family business and in so doing has the opportunity to get closer to Jonathan, a grieving widower. As Ezra starts to get closer to Jonathan he starts to see Jonathan's husband around every corner, breaking all the rules that Ezra has known about ghosts.

As I mentioned before, this is such a tender. story. I went into this expecting something a bit more on the comedy side of things but then came out with a feeling of the characters' catharsis. Ezra was truly written so well and I found myself falling in love with his character. I don't know when or how it happened, but I know readers are going to feel the same way. (#TeamSappho). Jonathan's character also is well-written and I just wanted nothing but the best for these two as they both dealt with their grief. And although this does tackle some heavy topics there is still plenty of levity and lightness in this. Some of the text message exchanges had me laughing out loud and I loved how Shelly Jay Shore had those formatted. They just were witty and cute and it felt like reading messages within my friend group.

Check this story out! You won't be disappointed! This is a perfect story for fans of The Pairing by Casey McQuiston, You Should Be So Lucky by Cat Sebastian, and Withered by AGA Wilmot.

Rules for Ghosting is an interesting and fun read. The story follows Ezra, a Jewish young man, as he navigates the fallout from a surprise announcement during the family Passover Seder and must return to the family business of working at a Jewish Funeral Home. To make matters more complicated Ezra can see ghosts which causes some issues with his relationship and job. This work is wonderfully written with moments that caused me to laugh, juxtaposed against beautifully written sad scenes where I had to take a moment to stop crying. This book has a lot of heart, and I thoroughly enjoyed the characters and the family relationships. I do wish the actual rules when it comes to the ghosts were a little more developed as it felt a little arbitrary, which I wouldn’t have given a second thought to if the book wasn’t titled Rule for Ghosting. This is a great debut novel, and I am excited to see what Shelly Jay Shore writes in the future.
Thank you to Net Galley, Random house Publishing Group, and Shelly Jay Shore for an early copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Don't go into this book thinking it will be creepy or scary because you will be disappointed. It is mostly about a Trans Individual and his family going through a lot of messy situations. Overall this book would be really good for a specific audience and some of the humor made me smile.

Rules for Ghosting exists at the center of a complex Venn diagram of genres: paranormal, queer, family drama, romance, comedy. It's the story of Ezra and his family and the family of friends he's building alongside. Ezra's a pre-surgery trans man who's spent his life being the problem solver for everyone in his family. He also happens to see ghosts—which partly explains why he fled his family's funeral home business early on. He's trying to give up his habit of fixing everything—and apologizing for everything—and is at the start of a potential romance with a dreamy man. A dreamy man whose husband died a year ago, and that husband's ghost has been appearing to Ezra, asking Ezra to "fix it," but what "fix it" means is unclear. Add to that an early scene played out on the first night of Passover: Ezra's mom reveals that she and the Rabbi's wife have been lovers for years and want to leave their husbands to live together. There are yet more complications, but this gives you a taste of the ground Rules for Ghosting covers.

I love a book with an interesting premise and Rules for Ghosting is definitely that. Shelly Jay Shore writes the way some jugglers juggle, keeping a mix of chainsaws, hearts, family memories, bottles of wine, risks taken and risks fled, and a very large dog up in the air simultaneously. At times, this becomes a bit exhausting for the reader, but the exhaustion is well-balanced with the unfolding of the book's characters and the challenges they face. One I started, I knew I wouldn't be putting it down.

If you're looking for a good beach read that offers a sort of 21st Century queer comedy of manners, Rules for Ghosting is your book. Maybe you haven't been looking for such a book, but take a moment to ask yourself "should I start looking?" If the answer is yes, then, again, Rules for Ghosting is your book.

I received a free electronic review copy of this title from the publisher via NetGalley; the opinions are my own.

I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own. I enjoyed this book and think you will to.

The biggest thank you ever to Random House for this eARC! Never in my life has a book so accurately reached into my heart and my soul and hurt me so personally. "Being raised the Eldest Daughter Transcends Gender" Hey!! Quiet Down!! Ezra feeling the need to fix everyone's problems despite and at the expense of their own well being. The middle child/eldest daughter (gender neutral) of it all was just so knife to the chest accurate. And the pain of the supernatural element, the self contained secret, the quiet grief, the need to keep people at an arms length so they can't get close enough to get to you know you and be let down by you. WOAH. It was so excellent and poetically written it almost made me angry with how much I loved it. How dare a book be this beautiful and this well balanced how very dare.

When I first began this book I couldn’t believe that it was a debut novel. That being said, I wasn’t really sure what to expect but, it was simply perfect. The dynamic between Jonathan and Ezra is top tier. I’m not one that is usually into books with a paranormal aspect, but this one may be the one that swings me.

This book had a lot of different representation in it: Trans, LGBTQ+, as well as different cultural aspects of Jewish customs surrounding death. This book was highly inclusive and that was one of the things that I really loved about it.

10/10 no notes!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for gifting me this ARC in exchange for an honest review.