Ok, so when you read the blurb you think oh he's cute, he's a lil whacky and quirky and is giving the drama but then you read and it's 100% giving all of the above but also more depth than you can imagine!!!! How can you not resist! Ezra has the weight of the world on his shoulders and these hot funeral home volunteers, messssssy family, and bad boy ghosts breaking the rules are just adding double to his work load. I seriously have 0 negative notes. He was fun, he was a damn good time with a little bit of "touch my heart moments" and I am telling youuuuuuuu books with representation likes these make my world go rounddddd.

My 1 itty bitty lil quirk is that this book could be marketed as a romance but the romance was more of a sub plot, it does touch on queer love but more about navigating the world differently not just in love love but friendship and family love.

This book offers a genuine look at grief but balances it with humor and love. It celebrates Jewish and Queer joy in a unique way and is perfect for readers who want to explore fantasy without diving in too deep. I think the patrons at my library will definitely enjoy this book.

Because Ezra, our protagonist, is a member of a family that owns a Jewish funeral home, I now know a lot more about Jewish customs around death than I did a few days ago. But the specifics are almost beside the point -- Rules for Ghosting is about grief; about tenderness toward the dead; about transitions of all kinds (Ezra and his best friend, Nina, are both trans, but there are plenty of other transitions here: transitions in how families are shaped, and emotional transitions -- from being locked in grief, to re-entering life after the death of a partner). An especially moving transition is that of Ben, the ghost whose haunting of Ezra is central to Ezra's transition from "son whom family depends on to mediate everything and fix everything and step into every crisis" to "competent son who can love freely and by the way asks for help when help is needed."

Rules for Ghosting is told in present tense, which I don't object to in principle but which I do associate with books aimed at a younger audience than this. The book is certainly *appropriate* for young adults -- I think older trans teens, queer teens generally, and teens dealing with grief of various kinds will take it to their hearts -- but all the main characters are full post-college-age adults, so the choice of present tense pitches the book's tone in the wrong direction.

Rules for Ghosting wobbles at the outset; about 50 pages in, it found its footing, and after that I was immersed in the story of Ezra's relationship with Jonathan and with Ben, the ghost of Jonathan's husband, whose unfinished business includes the wish to see Jonathan believing in a future that includes love again. Then, toward the end, there's a slew of what you might call administrative stuff about the finances of Ezra's family funeral home, which wasn't super fascinating in itself and which also relied heavily on the insufficiently developed relationships between Ezra and his unstintingly helpful housemates, whom he's just met at the book's opening and whom we haven't seen all that much of. (Instead, we get a lot of telling us how great found family is, which sure, but those relationships need time to build.)

This is a case, I think, of an author biting off more than they could chew. The precarious state of the funeral home is important to the theme of Ezra's learning not to wear himself out being everything to everyone, but I wish there had been some other way to show Ezra connecting with people who care for him in that context. Besides that, the emotional heart of the story lies with Ezra-Jonathan-Ben.

So, tl;dr, I think this could have used some more structural work, but in spite of that it's a lovely and unusual story and I look forward to the author's next book. Thanks to Random House/Ballantine/Dell and NetGalley for the ARC.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me an ARC for an honest review.

Rules for Ghosting is about Ezra, a trans man who's family runs a funeral home. He can see ghosts, but has not told his family. As he is starting a new relationship with a widower that lives in the same house (different apartments), Ezra is haunted by the ghost of his dead husband.

The book was very heavy with grief, relationships, and expectations. There was not as much interaction with ghosts as I thought there would be, but the story is beautiful. The characters are all going through their own grief and struggles independently, but find the load is lighter when you can find someone to share it with.

I had read some mixed reviews about this book so was a little nervous to start, but I really did like it! It's definitely a bit more of a mix between a romance and family drama than I typically want, and it seems to be being marketed as a bit more of a romance so I understand why people have mixed reviews if they're looking for romance.

This book is full of culture and I do think I actually learned some things about Jewish burial practices/funerals etc. I thought the details were great, though having virtually no knowledge of these practices before, there were some places that I got a little lost and ended up skimming a bit. Character wise I liked Ezra a lot and think he's a really complex character. I liked Jonathan too and I absolutely loved Ezra's roommates/friends as side characters! I wish we could have spent a little more time with them

My main issue is that it felt like the ghost thing was never really resolved? Maybe I missed it but I didn't really understand why Ben's ghost was sticking around and why he eventually left.

Thank you to Random House/Dell for the eARC. All thoughts and opinions are my own and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

A thoughtful and realistic take on grief, while still maintaining humor and love, throughout. The book exudes Jewish and Queer joy in a refreshing way and is a good gateway for those who want to dip their toes in fantasy but don't want to yet take the full plunge.

Summary of this book: This books follows Ezra and how he navigates tension with his family, new love, new roommates and a new job. Ezra also has a power where he can see ghosts, but there are rules to being able to see ghosts, until one of them breaks it.

I think this book was a great coming of age book. Ezra faces a lot of obstacles throughout the book and shoulders a lot of the pressure from his family. Ezra feels like he has to be the glue that holds his family together which causes him to have a great deal of anxiety when everything starts to fall apart. In comes moving to a new place, his recent job closing for renovations and a new love interest, and Ezra feels overwhelmed. I enjoyed reading Ezra coming into himself and how he deals with all the new experiences. What I didn't like about the book was I felt like the plot was all over the place. I had a hard time keeping up with what was going on because there was SO much going on. I'm also slightly disappointed because I thought there would be more interaction between Ezra and the ghosts, but its a very much a subplot. Overall, I did enjoy the book, but I feel like the plot took a lot away from getting me to really enjoy it.

3/5 stars. Thank you to Netgalley, Shelly Jay Shore and Random House Publishing Group for sending me an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Jewish MCs
Trans rep
Found family
Supportive family (even if they are a little crazy)
Solid debut novel

Rating: 3.5/5 - this probably isn't a book that I would reread but I really enjoyed it
🌶️: 1/5 - there was 1 explicit intimate scene and even that wasn't highly detailed in my opinion, I think closed door readers would do fine with this one.
🎃: 1/5 - there are ghosts in this book but it doesn't have spooky season vibes

TLDR: Book full of culture, tradition, humor, and heart

This book taught me so much about Jewish traditions which was super cool. I really loved how steeped in both Jewish and gay/trans community this book was. The story really pulled me in. I was hooked from go. I loved that this book had supportive (if dysfunctional) family and found family. It was humorous and sassy. I foolishly thought that I wouldn't cry at a book set at a funeral home. I did get teary eyed a few times but it wasn't full on sobbing. No need to worry about this being a debut novel. It's very well written. Ultimately I think this book is worth reading. I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys reading a book that features a lot of cultural references and descriptions of traditions (and sassy side characters).

I’m so loving all these spooky romcoms. Please please please send me any and all! Witches, ghosts, and love are all on my favorite things list

DNF. I like the idea of this book, but I’m just not in the mood for this type of story right now. I want more of a romcom, and less family drama.

This was an enjoyable paranormal romance featuring a clairvoyant MMC trying to save his family's business. I loved the characters and their growth throughout the story. The author takes on some tought topics but handles them well.

Rules for Ghosting is a delightful blend of romance, ghostly encounters, and Jewish family drama. Ezra Friedman, our reluctant clairvoyant hero, must juggle saving his family's failing funeral home, dealing with disapproving ghostly relatives, and navigating his second puberty. The result is a story that's both hilariously witty and deeply moving.
The author's writing shines as she brings Ezra's chaotic life to the page, complete with a Passover seder announcement that could rival any soap opera twist. The inclusion of Jonathan, the charming funeral home volunteer, and his ghostly husband Ben, adds layers of complexity and heart to the narrative.
This debut novel is a poignant meditation on life, death, and healing, with enough humor and warmth to keep you turning the pages. Rules for Ghosting is a unique, ghost-filled romance that will make you laugh, cry, and believe in the power of embracing one's true self. A must-read for fans of quirky, heartfelt stories!
Thank you to NetGalley, the author and the publisher for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!

5 stars

I judged this book by its cover (I KNOW!) as a charming, quirky romance, and while that impression is correct, this debut from Shelly Jay Shore is also SO MUCH MORE!

Ezra, the m.c., is giving _Six Feet Under_ in 2024 vibes (an unbeatable scenario in my world) as a child of folks who are in the funeral business. Fortunately, Ezra has himself more together than all of the Fishers combined, but with that low bar, he's still facing some challenges. While Ezra transitioned long ago, he has some lingering issues with family members who are less than supportive and some physical reminders that come up in what feel to me like respectful and realistic ways (and as a cis person, I acknowledge that I am not an expert on this, but I am sharing my opinion from this transparent perspective nonetheless). An extremely interesting detail about Ezra is that he sees and communicates with ghosts. What could be better in this environment?! Probably almost anything. It's so interesting to see how Shore weaves in Ezra's encounters from the beyond and how they shape not only Ezra's character but his relationships and outcomes. I worried that this element might put me off a bit, but it turned out to be one of my favorite parts of the novel.

The romantic element is prominent, of course, but it does not overshadow Ezra's development, and that, for me, is another supernatural feat.

I loved so much about this book and cannot wait to read more from Shore. I'd be thrilled to see these characters again, but I'm confident already that I'll connect with whomever this author pens.

Realistically, I can acknowledge that this is a good book & one that I can see a lot of people really loving and appreciating. But for some reason, it just didn’t work for me.

There’s quite a few characters, but I didn’t really feel like I connected with any. There’s a lot going on with the story, but none of the plots sucked me in. Even the romance was just… not what I was hoping for (tbh I kinda thought based on the description that there would be some ghost love). There wasn’t anything actually wrong with the writing either, yet I didn’t care for it. Honestly I really feel like the problem here.

So this review is going to just be about how it was for me. It was fine. Just fine. I don’t think this book will stick with me for long, which is a bummer. But I can already see that it has great early reviews and I’m honestly happy so many people are loving it because I wish I had.

Thank you to the publisher & NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review an advanced copy of this book! I voluntarily read this book, and all thoughts and opinions are my own.

When circumstances mean Ezra has to work at his family's funeral home, it's further complicated by his ability to see ghosts - to say nothing of the hunky guy in his apartment building - who happens to volunteer there often. I loved this! A beautiful non scary ghost story about connections that proves families come in all varieties and often make us crazy, it also reminds us that we are all worthy of love.

While I enjoyed this book, I went in thinking it was going to be a cute paranormal romance and have characters that could see ghosts-

It definitely aired more on the side of grief, family relationships and dynamics - which is totally not a bad thing but based on the synopsis, I just was not expecting this.

4.5 stars!
Oh gosh, I just want to hold this book in my heart! I adored how unapologetically Jewish and trans and queer this book is. I loved the premise and the twists that made it more complicated. I highlighted so many passages that delighted me or hit me hard in the feels. Ezra and Jonathan are both just so precious and deserve everything good!

A quote that is sticking with me:
“I feel more with you.” I feel more with you; as in, I feel like I’m here, with you, more than I ever have. And: I feel more with you; as in, You make me feel, more than anyone else.

Spoilers for content ahead...
I love that, for a book that has a main character who has lost a partner, it isn't just a smooth saintly canonization of the dead partner. I really liked that Jonathan's grief was messy and that Ben's grief was too.

Parts of it did feel rushed or skipped over, like I wish there was a lot more time spent on Ezra telling his siblings that he sees ghosts and getting their reactions, rather than them just being like "Oh... well why didn't you say anything sooner?" Similarly, I wish we got more time with Ben talking to Ezra directly, rather than hearing snippets of recaps later on.

I also felt like the blurb is a bit spoilery! (That's not uncommon for me, which is why I often don't even read them!) I wish I had not known about the mom and the rabbi's wife running off together, and I also wish I had not known that Ezra was seeing Jonathan's husband's ghost.

I saw this cover on Netgalley and requested an ARC without even reading its description. Based on its beautiful cover, I was expecting a lighthearted romance. And while there is romance, it's so much more than a romance novel. It's about family and acceptance and loss and grief and mourning and secrets and growing up. Ezra is a trans man whose family owns a funeral home. His whole life, he has seen ghosts, but doesn't tell anyone or know what to do about it. His whole life, he has taken care of everyone in his family - his parents, his brother, and his little sister. He's never felt worthy of attention or compassion or accepting help from others, instead offering that to everyone else to the point of exhaustion. Enter Jonathan, who is grieving the loss of his husband while volunteering in Ezra's family's funeral home. There is a spark, but Ezra doesn't know how to let him in. And Ezra also happens to be able to see the ghost of Jonathan's dead husband and is dealing with major turmoil in his family. This book is about letting people in, chosen family, queer joy, and so much more. I give it 5 stars and plan to pre-order a copy so I can have this beautiful book on my bookshelf.

This book is absolutely gorgeous. Ezra is dealing with a lot; between work changes, family drama and navigating a new living situation. This novel so beautifully shows community, in its many forms. From the Jewish funeral home to the Queer Community Center, found family and new relationships. While also you know seeing ghosts. I loved this exploration of all these things, especially love and connection.

I wish I knew how to make a coherent review— just know that I love this book. It is queer and lovely, I laughed and cried and was rooting for Ezra and Jonathan the whole time.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC. I truly enjoyed this book.

3.5 rounded up.

I love ghost stories and love that we are getting more ghostie romances. In this one Ezra can see ghosts but can’t talk to them until he meets one who happens to be his hot neighbors’s late husband.

I think if this plot line had been the focus it would have been really great but the book was trying to do too much. Ezra’s family runs a Jewish funeral home that is not doing well financially, his mom drops huge life changing news at Seder and Ezra has just moved into a new place when he finds out he may not have a job anymore.

It just seemed over saturated with side plots that it ended up feeling like it didn’t have a clear view of what it was. However
The Best part was the queer representation and Ezra’s relationship with his trans and queer family. Overall I was kinda disappointed but I would give this author another go.

Thanks to NetGalley and Random House for an eARC