Thanks to NetGalley for the eARC of this book! Rules for Ghosting, at first glance, sounds like a paranormal romance. The main character, after all, does see ghosts. Instead, it read like a sweet Gen Z contemporary romance.

The main character, a trans guy named Ezra, has to work at his family’s funeral home when his mom takes off. He is usually in the business of birth and life as a doula and yoga teacher, and now must help with the family funeral home he has been steadfastly avoiding. It’s hard when every hallway of the funeral home is haunted — sometimes by people he knows. Ezra meets a ghost at the funeral home who doesn’t seem to follow any of the usual rules. Then he meets the ghost’s widower, a handsome volunteer at the funeral home named Jonathan.

One of my favorite aspects of the book was the exploration of traditional Jewish funeral rites. It opened my eyes to a different way of dealing with death that I found fascinating.

The romance was sweet, but surprisingly straightforward, considering all of the family and personal drama that Ezra and Jonathan both faced. I love to see trans characters out there in the world, and the found family aspects were beautiful as well.

I give it 7/10 stars, and recommend it to all lovers of contemporary romance!

As someone who grew up with family in the funeral industry, I could not have requested this ARC fast enough and WHEW did it deliver.

Ezra is our hero - a trans Jewish guy who is white-knuckling it through keeping his family together through a crazy tumultuous time. Further complicating matters, he's having to return to work at his family's funeral home, and has been able to see ghosts since he was a little kid. The slow-burn feelings for the handsome widower who keeps popping up in his life are just the cherry on top of Ezra's chaos.

While there is a LOT going on in this story, it's a beautifully interwoven story about grief, family dynamics, and growing into your own identity. The romance is incredibly sweet and swoony, but I was truly kept on my toes by all the other building storylines as well. I loved it, and would wholeheartedly recommend to anyone looking for a fun, queer romance that dabbles in chaotic subplots.

Me being me I saw the cover and immediately requested this, thinking it was a YA! (No I did not read the blurb, I never do 😂)
But honestly, for me the cover is not giving adult romance? Well, it is and I still really loved it.

Ezra is a Jewish trans guy who can see ghosts ever since he was a young kid. Not the best superpower to have when your family owns a funeral home since generations. But when he starts seeing a ghost who can do things no other ghost ever did before, his job at the queer community center gets put on hold for weeks and his family implodes at Seder things get a little…much.

This book really wasn’t mainly focussed on the romance part, it was more a contemporary book about family, especially the experience of growing up as the oldest daughter of the family in a family that doesn’t talk about anything serious. I could relate to SO many things that happened in this book it was ridiculous! Reading this book was kinda bringing up trauma and healing at the same time.

For a book with death as a main theme it was also surprisingly funny and heart warming.
I loved the queer friend group (they were all roommates), the sweet slow burn romance and the amount of jewish culture in this. Especially the experience of second generation immigrants was described so well. The guilt you feel whenever you give up something your grandparents did, but just doesn’t feel right for you. This was all done so well and in such a wonderful prose.
I highly recommend reading this if you love books about messy family’s who still love each other, mature communication in a complicated relationship and ghost stuff.

Title: Rules for Ghosting
Author: Shelly Jay Shore
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Publication Date: August 20, 2024

My rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

“To save his family's failing funeral home—and his own chance at a queer love story—a reluctant clairvoyant must embrace the gift he long ignored in this poignant and tender debut.”

This was a phenomenal debut novel. The pacing and development of the story was fantastic. This is a story about family, love, identity, death, grief, and embracing your queerness. I enjoyed reading about Ezra and his complex family and friend dynamics. All of these characters felt extremely fleshed out and real. I really appreciated the amount of detail and attention that was given when it came to their cultural and interpersonal dynamics, which only helped to create these real, complex characters that were a joy to read. I’m not entirely sure what I was expecting when I started this book, but I was pleasantly surprised and would recommend this book. I will for sure be rereading this in the fall!!

Thank you to the publisher, author, and NetGalley for providing me with an ARC in exchange for my honest rating and review.

Thank you so much NetGalley and Random House for providing me with this ARC in exchange for my honest review!

I enjoyed this book for the most part, I just felt as if the blurb and marketing didn't do it justice. I really enjoyed our MMC Ezra constantly being the glue that kept his family together, and the struggle with his gender identity and queerness was incredibly relatable and well-written. The family dramas and dynamic felt the most dynamic and fleshed out for me in this story, it was what I enjoyed most—perfectly tying in their culture and interpersonal relationships to portray their flaws and shining personalities.

However, this book's multiple subplots seemed to muddy the water for me. I couldn't fully enjoy the romance aspect after the beginning sections because of how many plots I was juggling to track all at once. I felt as if the overarching story got lost in the detail and over-explanation. It was difficult to stay invested and to care about the forces driving Ezra as a character.

Once again I am incredibly happy with the queer and trans representation that was done beautifully and not a side plot to be thrown in off-handedly!

In the grand scheme of things I think the marketing let me down and I know there will be many others who love this book and will find it to be their soul match!

Once again thank you so very much NetGalley and Random House for allowing me to read this ARC in exchange for my honest review!

Rules for Ghosting
by Shelly Ray Shore
3.5⭐️

This is definitely not what I expected when I picked this arc, I thought this was going to be a witchy/paranormal romance but this turned out to be more of a fiction book about family dynamics and death/grief with a romance subplot. Marketing aside, this was a surprisingly good love story, again not something that I’d normally pick but it was hard to put down once I started reading. Ezra and Jonathan had a beautiful love story but for me it falls under sweet and gentle love, they were both what each other needed at the right time.

This book was written and paced well, no issues other than it was marketed different than how it reads (also the cover is amazing but doesn’t match the tone of the book). Also I feel like the mom was forgiven a bit too fast (for cheating for so long) but then again staying mad never changes anything.

Thank you to NetGalley and Random House Publishing for this arc!

Ezra Friedman sees ghosts. Growing up in a funeral home, kinda made that a not great thing. He feels the weight of family desires and criticisms from living and dead relatives. He runs as far as he can from the family business. When the bottom drops out of this job, he feels the pressure again to return to the business. Will his return break him or make him storger?

light supernatural element of seeing ghosts but it didn't really add to the story
more family drama than a romance
not bad, just not for me

I was excited to read this book based on the title and cover alone! Ezra Friedman and his family run a Jewish funeral home. Ezra can see ghosts. This book is filled with lots of family drama. It all begins when Ezra's mom makes a big announcement during their Passover seder. Ezra wants no part of the family business but has to take a step back in to help run the funeral home. Ezra meets Jonathan, which provided its own complications. I really enjoyed the development of their relationship.

This was a story about family, death, grief, and love. It gave me all of the feelings from beginning to end. Thank you Netgalley for an advanced copy of this story.

3.5 stars -

- after being furloughed from his job & dealing with a mess of family drama, ezra helps out at the family funeral home to make ends meet
- the slowest burn romance with honestly little pay off? very closed doors
- really touching depiction of grief in many different forms, which i honestly wasn’t expecting from a ghostly romance
- felt like less of the romance i hoped for and more of a family drama, with a sprinkle of romance thrown in

Ezra is just your typical 20-something trying to make ends meet.

Except that he sees ghosts. Oh, and his family is imploding in a very big way. No big deal, really.

And then he meets his new neighbor, Jonathan. A widower who is gentle, sweet, strong in that quiet way, and just a tad bit awkward. And Ben. Jonathan’s dead husband. Who can speak.

I was hooked in the first chapter. Shelly’s writing is magical (no seriously, I think it’s possible there’s something addictive..a spell or something…written into the words…) I could not put this book down. It’s so cozy, funny, and emotional at the same time. I was the absolute picture of belly laughing and kicking my feet reading this! I loved Ezra’s little queer found family, and his journey to feeling like he’s worthy of fitting in and being cared for.

I identified so much with Ezra, always peeling away and giving more and more of himself to be the support he needs to be for everyone around him. His inner comments about being “too much” or “not enough” for those around him hit me like a little bit of a gut punch. Watching his growth and learning to lean on his friends, family, and Jonathan was so powerful and beautiful.

I really enjoyed the depth Shelly went into describing Jewish ceremonies and practices. I could picture exactly what they were talking about, and it added even more depth to the story, Ezra’s own inner turmoil with his identity and how he fits into his community.

And finally. Ezra and Jonathan. These two are so perfectly messy together! Jonathan is just steady…and amazing…and swoon-worthy. The development of their relationship against the rest of the stories in this book was so well-done, so magical, so ooey gooey I ate this up.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for this arc!

I need to start off by saying I really enjoyed reading this book, and my 4 star review is a very solid 4!

That being said, I think the title and summary are highly misleading. The title is Rules for Ghosting. The summary says it’s a book about a guy who can see ghosts. It would only be natural to think that the majority of this book is about a guy seeing ghosts!! There were maybe two pages total that even mention what he believes the “rules” are for how ghosts can behave/move/interact. There’s also huge portions of the book where his ability to see ghosts isn’t even mentioned, like the ability is just completely forgotten.

But again, I will revert back to my initial statement: I enjoyed this book. The family and found family dynamics are beautiful. I liked reading about all of the Jewish death traditions. The book has deeper meaning and emotion than the silly title gives credit for. Overall, it was definitely worth the read!

Thank you to the publisher, author, and NetGalley for providing me with an ARC in exchange for my honest rating and review.

Wasn't expecting a thing, and I found it really sweet. I really appreciate that, aside from the paranormal aspects of Ezra's (and Jonathan's) story, a lot of the hurdles just feel really normal (but that doesn't make any of them any less monumental on a personal level). Absolutely gonna be recommending this when it comes out next month.

Quick Thoughts Reviews

Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Pelt. Such a great story about grief, friendship, & found family & one moment in the audio gave me literal cold chills while I was shopping at Walmart. 5 ⭐️, out now.

Set the Record Straight by Hannah Bonam-Young. My first book by the much-hyped author & I can see what all the fuss is about. A friends to lovers queer awakening story with some “I’m home for the holidays” vibes. 4.5 ⭐️, out now.

Rules for Ghosting by Shelly Jay Shore. This is a sensitive & also messy story featuring a trans hero, a funeral home, & the ghosts that only he can see (& that he’s kept secret for years). Grief, some heartbreak, Jewish culture & history rep, & more but it’s ultimately hopeful & lovely. 4 ⭐️, out 08/20. (Thanks to the publisher & Netgalley for the complimentary ARC. All opinions provided are my own.)

The Full Moon Coffee Shop by Mai Mochizuki & Translated by Jesse Kirkwood. A series of stories about different interconnected people & how they’re brought into contact with the magical Full Moon Coffee Shop at the right time. There’s an emphasis on astrology & making smart decisions with astrology in mind, & overall themes of getting out of unhelpful patterns of behavior & doing something positive. I didn’t totally connect with this novella because it comes across a bit disjointed & didactic for me, but it was interesting to read. 2.5 ⭐️, out 08/20.

📖 have you read any of these? Are any on your TBR?

Thank you to the author and NetGalley for providing this ARC for my voluntary and honest review!

This is a beautiful debut novel with queer and Jewish representation, messy family dynamics, grief, healing, and love. I expected a touch more paranormal elements; however, the characters were both charming and dynamic, and it was really interesting to read about the cultural customs throughout the book. 4.5/5 stars.

I liked the story line of this book. It’s about a person whose family owns a Jewish funeral home and all their dynamics. Ezra can also see ghosts and has been able to most of his life. He meets someone romantically and realized the ghost he has been seeing recently is the dead husband of this new person. It is also the son of the women that his mom ends up having an affair on their father with. However, if I am to be honest, the whole LGBTQ+ part of the story made it confusing for me. I felt it wasn’t really needed. The story itself could have stood on its own. It made the character development difficult to understand.

Ezra Friedman sees ghosts, which made growing up in a funeral home a circus, especially with his grandfather's ghost constantly judging his life choices. After escaping to avoid the family business, he's pulled back in when his mom drops a bombshell at Passover: she's leaving both her job and marriage for the rabbi's wife.

Now, Ezra's juggling the funeral home, an inconvenient crush on the charming volunteer Jonathan (who's also his new neighbour), and a rogue ghost breaking all the rules.

This was a lovely debut novel from Shelly Jay Shore (although we've definitely got a trend of trans guys call Ezra in books recently!). It was as much a story about families and finding yourself as it was a romance, but the romance was still very much a part of the story. I wouldn't call either a subplot, but I would say they shared equal billing.

The only real criticism I have is that the ghosts and paranormal aspects were so far removed it could as well have been an analogy for all the impact they served on the plot. I was expecting more ghosts and what I got was actually a much different story. It's not a bad story by any means, just not at all what I'd have expected.

It also felt like there was a little more structure around the rules and the ghosting that didn't quite make it through edits, instead focusing on the family set up, I feel like something else could have been cut out (the ex?) instead of that.

But, a good story is a good story, and this was a good story. Definitely check it out! 4*

I am so absolutely impressed that this is a debut novel! I typically have a hard time connecting with main characters in third-person novels, but I felt so connected to Ezra (the main character) and the struggle with older sibling syndrome. The found family aspect of this story was also so beautiful, and I loved watching Ezra’s relationships with everybody grow and strengthen. I would definitely recommend this book to friends, especially those who are part of the queer community, it felt like there was representation for so many!

An impressive debut. There was a lot going on in this book - recently transitioning main character, found family, romance with someone who just lost his husband, seeing ghosts, Jewish traditions and the family running a Jewish funeral home, implosion of parents marriage and sibling growth...whew! So perhaps overly stuffed and some reliance on filler (how many times can you include that the MC scratched his dog's ears?), but overall it worked, was very sweet, handled most of the conflict and growth tenderly and lovingly, and had me rooting for everyone involved. Will most definitely read this author's next novel.

This is a cute book about Ezra, a bisexual who can "see dead people" when he moves into a new building. He teaches yoga and is a birth doula so he leads an interesting life. In the new place he meets Jonathan, a handsome man he's attracted to, but soon Jonathan's old lover who died "appears" to Ezra and it's confusing as he isn't sure he can confide in a man he hardly knows. In the meantime, Ezra's parents are splitting up as his mother is attracted to someone else, so his own life is a crazy, mixed-up mess. It's a sweet novel that had me laughing and always wondering what would happen next!
Thanks to NetGalley for this ARC!