Jonathan and Ezra... these two are so cute! I absolutely loved and enjoyed the trans representation in this and I loved the fact that we get little hints of what their future could be towards the end of the book. This was a very enjoyable book for me between the LGBTQ+ themes and the paranormal aspect!

Rules For Ghosting
Written by Shelley Jay Shore
Published by Random House Publishing House
Release Date August 20, 2024

Ezra Friedman has a few things going on in his life that would give anyone a reason to pause. His family’s funeral home is going under……so that means no job for him…..his mother is leaving his father and his crush, Jonathan, who volunteers at the funeral home, lives in an apartment beneath him. But the biggest issue for Ezra is that he sees ghosts at the funeral home and that started with him seeing his grandfather. So back to Ezra’s mother. The news that she and the Rabbi’s wife were in love came out during the family’s Passover Seder and they have both decided to leave their spouses. This news really devastates him but there is one bright side to all of this. For the time being Ezra will hold the position of Office manager. And he will get to see his crush on a daily basis. However, Jonathon is still grieving the loss of his husband, Ben, who passed away. Ezra is also tasked with trying to save his family’s funeral home from financial ruins so he deals with all of the ghosts that he sees while working to pull the business out. Until he sees one ghost that he doesn’t expect to see, Ben.

This is certainly a one of a kind book that contains family drama, love interests, queer situation, and GHOSTS! The fluidity of Shore’s writing is so good you forget where you are in the book. The characters are so very well developed and likable. I had a great time reading this book and enjoyed all of the emotions that it brought out. Ezra is troubled but when you throw in Jonathon it seemed to brighten his character some. There is a little humor throughout but I would not say you can add that into the description. There is one thing Ezra is not lacking…..friends.


4 stars


Thank you to Netgalley, the author, and publisher for giving me the opportunity to read this book in exchange for my honest and unbiased review.

When I read the dedication to this book, I knew I was going to be in emotional trouble. I devoured this in a day. I could barely put it down. Sometimes there are characters you know will just become a part of you as you read them and Ezra is just one of those characters. I'm not much or a horror or paranormal reader, so I really loved that it was a cozy ghost story. Shelley Jay Shore understands and relays the experience of the eldest sister archetype so well. This was my first ARC and I am so grateful to have the opportunity to read this sweet, emotional, and wonderful novel.

You had me at "Jewish, trans undertaker sees dead people, including the ghost of his new boyfriend's late husband."

Okay, to be accurate, Ezra Friedman is only filling in temporarily as the office manager for the Friedman Memorial Chapel; it’s more than a little awkward for his mother to keep working there after she drops a bombshell at the family Passover seder that she and the rabbi’s wife are in love and both leaving their husbands. Ezra has avoided his family’s funeral home since he started seeing ghosts at a young age, starting with his beloved grandfather. Now he needs to be there daily, which gives him numerous opportunities to see his crush Jonathan, a Chapel volunteer who is still grieving the loss of his beloved husband, Ben. Ezra suspects that Ben hasn’t let go yet either—because Ezra can see his ghost. And unlike the other specters, Ben can talk, and he has a lot to say.

Shelly Jay Shore does a lot of things well in her debut novel, including explaining traditional Jewish funeral rituals and posing questions around how trans individuals are welcomed into the gender-segregated ones such as taharah (ritual cleansing and dressing of the body). Ezra is a troubled but sympathetic character whose role as the family’s emotional caretaker is starting to take its toll. The love story is a tad underdeveloped but it improves as the story progresses. The book’s overall tone is serious but not melodramatic, with flashes of wry humor sprinkled throughout. I was afraid that the plot had the potential to succumb to farce, similar to the 1945 movie Blithe Spirit, but thankfully no hijinks ensue.

On the minus side, the novel’s 400 pages are overly stuffed with subplots: Ezra moving into house whose residents include his asexual/demisexual former boyfriend. The other housemates, mostly queer, who become his found family. The funeral home’s financial issues and looming threats of corporate buyout. Ezra and his siblings’ struggle to reconcile their anger at their mother with their respect for her authentic queer truth. Jonathan’s secrets about his marriage. Ezra’s secrets about the literal ghost in their new relationship. And a cute, slobbering pit bull mix named Sappho.

So depending on what you are hoping to find in the book – Family saga? Queer love story? Jewish fiction? – you may be disappointed, but you will not be bored. I give the author credit for penning such a distinct debut. Maybe next time she be more parsimonious with her ideas, and not try to cram them all into one story.

ARC received from Net Galley in exchange for objective review.

An absolutely lovely and heartfelt family drama that is interwoven with grief, and love, and finding your own place in the larger systems that make up our communities, whether it's born family or found family or the larger communities that we are part of. This book wonderfully weaves together themes of Jewish faith and queerness in ways that make them feel connected rather than at odds, and found family and biological family, queer community and religious community, platonic and romantic love. The themes and connections here are just so well done and lovely.

Plot wise - Ezra is a trans man raised in a Jewish funeral home, and happens to see ghosts. When his parents suddenly split, he's forced to take up his mother's role in the family business and is pulled into unraveling both old and new family dramas, trying to save the family business, and confronting his old ghosts (both literally and figuratively).

Throughout he also meets and falls for Jonathan, a volunteer at the funeral home who is grieving his husband, and is haunted by Ben, the husband's ghost who refuses to move on. The romance between Ezra and Johnathan is rather secondary to the family drama but incredibly tender and healing.

The ghosts themselves do not play much role in the story, other than acting as literal stand ins for the baggage that all the characters carry throughout the story - the family legacy, the grief of a failed marriage, the guilt of parental expectations. I enjoyed this book immensely.

Thank you to Random House Publishing for the gifted eARC!

This is not, perhaps, the fun, fluffy ghost story it's billed as, but that doesn't make it any less enjoyable. The fact that it's a debut is even more impressive. Ezra has the weight of the world on his shoulders, with a host of familial expectations and history of caring for his siblings, along with being transgender. When his parents unexpectedly split, Ezra finds himself back at his family's funeral home, a place he's avoided for years--ever since he realized he could see the dead.

He soon meets Jonathan, who is grieving the loss of his late husband--only to realize that one of the dead people he's been spying around just happens to be Ben, Jonathan's late husband. Even weirder, Ben can talk to Ezra, something none of the other ghosts have ever done. Jonathan and Ezra grow closer, but Ben remains a barrier between the two (for a myriad reasons).

This story is a little long-it takes on a lot-and while it manages most of it well, it feels a bit unwieldy. It takes some time to get to the ghosts, especially the talking one! Still, it provides excellent insight into Jewish funeral customs and traditions. The book wonderfully explores the idea of family, digging into the concept of being what your family wants versus what you need for yourself. How does a person shape themselves for, and because of, their family? I empathized very much with Ezra and all the guilt he felt about his family and the duties and responsibilities he had toward them.

Ezra is a charming character and he comes across as very real and likable. His story is often funny, even with the funeral home setting and all the dead people hanging around. Ezra has a wonderful cast of friends--many of them POC and/or queer--and the story does a great job of exploring queer friendships and how important found family is, especially with Ezra's bizarre family situation.

There's certainly a lot of discussion of grief and death in GHOSTING, so avoid if that's a trigger for you. But know that this is also a really poignant and lovely story--part almost coming of age and also a sweet romance.

This book covered grief and love and death in a way that was not overbearingly depressing. It was sweet and tender-hearted. I liked that Ezra wanted to heal his relationship with his family, that he was putting in the effort and the time. And the romance, oh was so worth it and beautiful and wholesome.

I loved the characters in this, the writing style, and the worldbuilding. I was able to engage easily in the story and I appreciated the sensitive way that grief is handled, and how the ghosts are relatable rather than scary. I would definitely recommend this read to friends! Thank you for the opportunity to read it.

This was absolutely adorable and sweet!!
When reading the back of this book I was expecting a cute spooky rom-com but it was so much more!
I loved the found family Ezra was able to find and also his blood family he is able to reconnect with. The romance was sweet and I loved the chemistry between the two of them. This is great for the oldest sibling to read, they will relate to Ezra and his struggles.
I enjoyed learning more about Jewish rituals as well, the author did a splendid job of being respectful even while explaining why the main character may have been uncomfortable in certain parts.
I can't believe this is a debut novel as well! Great writing and kept me engaged! I can't wait to read more by this author!

“Rules for Ghosting” is a fantasy LGBTQA+ romance book by Shelly Jay Shore. Let me start with the positives - learning more about Jewish burial and Jewish culture is always a positive in my book. From what I could gather from online sources, the author did a fantastic job in that regard. Hats off to you! I also liked the premise of this book - seeing ghosts, some family drama, and a love interest - sounds pretty much up my alley. Also, kudos to the cover - I think it’s adorable! Oh - and Erza’s job(s) - doula for the win! I did like the texting/messaging communication bits - easy to tell who was expressing what … and a photo of an actual dog in the message app - lovely to see that. What was “meh” was that the family drama, the job drama, and the side plots really took up a lot of this book - it wasn’t a side-bar of family drama; it was thrown into your face quite often - for me taking away from the heart of the story - the seeing ghosts, dealing with life, and a budding romance. I’m not saying that the family drama was bad - but I wish that either it had taken a bit more of a backseat OR that that was the focus of a sequel (yes, for once, I’m suggesting a sequel). I also found the plot took a while to really get rolling - a lot of time was spent on set-up and even once the plot got rolling, it felt at times that (again) it took a back seat to other things the author wanted to tie up. Were there “not so enjoyable” bits - yeah, but they’re minor things and possibly my expectations not being met (I thought a bit more paranormal) and some repeated bits and overall wordiness. I’m glad I read this book, but I think there’s enough information to be two books, thus my wish that the focus had been more on the main plot point … however, for a debut novel, I found this to be a different idea and for the most part I enjoyed reading it.

Right from the start it was captivating. It was a great read i flew through the book. I loved how the author did their research when it comes to funeral business and traditions. I worked at a funeral home and can picture myself being in that setting all over again. The story of Ezra and Jonathan has a nice flow to it and I loved how this book has a good balance and nothing took from each other. (i.e not too much sex, not too much senseless writing) While reading this it reminded me alot of the show Six Feet Under (IYKYK). The only thing that did throw me off was that while reading I found myself rereading some paragraphs the writing felt a little choppy like i missed an introduction of a new character or Ezra went from reminiscing to actually in the moment with Jonathan. It was a little off. Over all great read super fun and powerful human emotions that we all could relate to at some level. Lastly, this LBGT inclusion was done very nicely that those of us not part of the community can appreciate and enjoy this amazing story without feeling lost and confused . Communication and acceptance is the main ingredients of this story. Cant wait to read what Shelly Shore has in stored for us next.

Thank you Netgalley and the Publisher for giving me a free copy of this book to review.

Looking for a queer, funny Doctor Sleep meets Haunting of Hill House mashup? Try this book!

Seriously, such a fun read! I was lucky to receive an ARC for this title and can’t wait to add a physical copy to my collection. I appreciate the way the author handles several complex topics in a way that makes everything feel ‘normal’ yet highlights the characters life experiences with them. As a queer person, at times novels can ‘take me out’ of scenes by highlighting certain things too much. Almost like ‘oh and they’re THIS different’ whereas here it just felt like ‘oh, and this happens’ (If that makes sense?)

I enjoyed the characters, and as someone in their late twenties I found myself feeling like I was ‘reading a show’ where it all felt very entertaining and grasping. I think the concept is quite novel in itself. Great read and a great addition to your library!

I requested and received an eARC of Rules for Ghosting by Shelly Jay Shore via NetGalley. What a fabulously fun book! Ezra Friedman can see ghosts which is quite the conundrum for someone growing up in a funeral home. After a setback with his job and his mother’s declaration that she is leaving his father for a Rabbi’s wife, Ezra finds himself working in the funeral home, a place that has always made him slightly uncomfortable (it doesn’t help that his grandfather’s ghost hangs around the place, silently judging him.) To top it all off, his new neighbor, Jonathan (a hot widower) develops an interest in him, a fact complicated by the presence of his dead husband’s ghost.

I can honestly say I enjoyed every page of this book! Shore displays a thoughtfulness that really enriches their characters and the entire reading experience. Ezra is trans, which we love to see, and his identity and journey are handled very well in the author’s hands. His identity informs (and affirms) his thoughts and actions in the story, and this sort of representation is invaluable. He’s a protagonist who you root for, even as you’re shaking your head because of him. As a reader, I totally found Jonathan to be absolutely swoonworthy. We love to see men who are sensitive, vulnerable, and self-aware. The patience and understanding he demonstrates with Ezra is everything.

I really loved the way that the novel handles grief. Grief is such a messy, horrible, complicated monster and I think that Shore perfectly captures that sentiment with the ghosts of Jonathan and Ezra’s grandfather without being overly maudlin. I also enjoyed the relationship between the Friedman children and the ways they relate to one another, particularly as they navigate the aftermath of their mother’s shocking revelation. For me, this was a really special read. Shores mashes up familial drama with the paranormal to create a top-tier romance that is both memorable and moving (seriously, new book crush of 2024 is absolutely Jonathan.)

Entertaining. Makes me excited for fall and all things ghostly. My first Shelly Jay Shore novel. Fun. Light reading

I love a little gay book with a big found family! And that’s what I got from this novel. So excited to get a physical copy when it’s out so I can reread it and display it on my bookshelf.

I made it 15% into the book before I decided to put it down and not finish it. The description and cover really made me want to read this one, but unfortunately it didn't grab me the way I hoped it would. I couldn't connect to any of the characters, and by the time I stopped reading, the plot had yet to pick up. Sometimes having a lot of exposition works, but other times, like this one, it feels like dragging my feet and hoping something will happen soon.

The premise of this book is so interesting, and I really hope it works for other readers! It unfortunately was just not for me.

I am very happy that I was approved for an arc of this book (thank you netgalley and the publisher). It’s both a moving family drama and sweet, slow-building romance. I appreciated how the author wove both aspects of the story together. I also thoroughly appreciated reading a book about Jewish funeral traditions. It’s been a long time since I learned about them but it was nice to see it in a book. It felt like coming home in a way. This is also a great book about queer representation. I

4.5 stars

I absolutely loved this book! It reminded me a lot of The Dead Romantics by Ashley Poston (which I LOVE), but it was completely its own story. I fell in love with Ezra’s character so quickly. He wants to fix and help everyone else and continues to put himself on the back burner, until Jonathan comes into his life and flips all of that upside down.

I love books with messy family relationships and strong sibling bonds, and that’s exactly what Ezra’s family gave me. Ezra’s found family with his friends/roommates was amazing as well. They were all so funny and I loved the group chats!

This is a love story, but it’s so much more than that. It’s about processing grief, familial grievances and drama, new and old friendships, new relationships, queer identity, religious beliefs, and more. Shore woke up one day and decided to write an incredible book full of love, found family, and ghosts.

I loved the ending of this book. It had me in tears when Ezra mentions the date on his calendar 😭

This book comes out 8/20/24. Don’t miss it.

CW: death, grief, fire/fire injury, dysphoria, panic attacks/disorders, sexual content, transphobia, medical content

It’s been a long time since I have read a book that so quickly hooked all my attention and didn’t let go. Shelly Jay Shore has a way of writing that feels like a best friend recounting a story to you with themes that pull you in and one liners that make you cackle.

Ezra is at a weird place in his life, moving into the apartment next to his ex, being furloughed from his job while the building is under repair, and still mostly in denial that he can see ghosts. He’s at Seder with his family, at their home right next to the Funeral Home they have owned and operated since before Ezra was born, when his mother makes an announcement that throws their entire world on a tilt. Having been raised as the eldest daughter, Ezra feels this burden is his to fix.

So much of this book resonated with me, especially the parts about what it means to be an eldest daughter. The pride of it, the weight of it, and the individualist perfectionism that comes with it. Shore also did a beautiful job detailing the Jewish funerary practices in a way that is informational but not instructional. And, while I love Ezra and the many roles he plays in his life, it’s the side characters in their unabashed wholeness that make this story feel so all-encompassing. Here’s hoping some of them make a return in the future!

Ezra Friedman has always been the problem-solver of his family. So when his mom decides to spring a life-changing surprise on everyone during Passover seder and then ghost them all, Ezra finds himself covering her office job at the family funeral home. The problem? Ezra sees ghosts, and one in particular - his zayde's - has haunted the funeral home and silently judged Ezra since his transition. And making matters worse, Ezra's cute new, widowed - and therefore completely off-limits - neighbor also spends a lot of time volunteering there. But as Ezra and his family slowly adjust to their new normal, he begins to see things a little differently. At turns hilarious and heart-wrenching, Rules for Ghosting hooked me from the beginning and remained un-put-downable for the entirety of the book. I would recommend this title to anyone who enjoys queer romances, messy yet lovable characters, family drama, and - of course - ghosts.