The cover of this book drew me in right away! I absolutely loved it. I was so ready to get into a paranormal ghost story romance! That wasn't exactly the case with this book. I did enjoy the found family and the love story. I just wish it had some of the elements on the cover. Thanks to NetGalley and Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine for this ARC.

Rules for Ghosting
⭐️⭐️⭐️.5
Author: Shelly Jay Shore

I requested a digital advanced readers copy from NetGalley and Random House Publishing and providing my opinion voluntarily and unbiased.

Synopsis: Rule #1: They can't speak.
Rule #2: They can't move.
Rule #3: They can't hurt you.

Ezra Friedman sees ghosts, which made growing up in a funeral home a bit complicated. It might have been easier if his grandfather’s ghost didn’t give him such scathing looks of disapproval as he went through a second, HRT-induced puberty, or if he didn't have the pressure of all those relatives—living and dead—judging every choice he makes. It’s no wonder that Ezra runs as far away from the family business as humanly possible.

But when the floor of his dream job drops out from under him and his mother uses the family Passover seder to tell everyone that she’s running away with the rabbi’s wife, Ezra finds himself back in the thick of it. With his parents’ marriage imploding and the Friedman Family Memorial Chapel on the brink of financial ruin, Ezra agrees to step into his mother's shoes and help out . . . which means long days surrounded by ghosts that no one else can see.

And then there's his unfortunate crush on Jonathan, the handsome funeral home volunteer who just happens to live downstairs from Ezra's new apartment . . . and the appearance of the ghost of Jonathan's gone-too-soon husband, Ben, who is breaking every spectral rule Ezra knows.

Because Ben can speak. He can move. And as Ezra tries to keep his family together and his heart from getting broken, he quickly realizes that there's more than one way to be haunted—and more than one way to become a ghost.

My Thoughts: This is a slow burn, a very slow burn. I think things could have been sped up just a bit to move the plot along. Ezra sees ghosts and growing up in a funeral home was a bit challenging. Ezra left the family business early on but he had to return when his dream job disappeared and his mother needed help to run the family business. Upon his return, he is attracted to a volunteer, Jonathan, but when Jonathan’s passed away husband Ben shows up in ghost form, things go from complicated to very complicated. This follows the tropes of Jewish, an element of fantasy, ghosts, and complicated family relationships.

The story is narrated by a single character, Ezra, in third person in the present, but they have too many hats to wear, they are Jewish, queer, trans that have surgeries pending, struggles with body image, bisexual, assists with women’s births, and a psychic. They have a lot of inner monologue conversations as they struggle with their self esteem. The family dysfunction is rooted in miscommunication. There were a lot of characters that we meet through Ezra. I would have liked to see more focus on the sibling connections, and even a little more on Ezra’s transition would have been awesome.

This story is a mix of character driven and plot driven with not a clear direction for one or the other, just both, if that makes sense. The author does a phenomenal job at the Jewish representation with the cultures and traditions. The message is one that I liked, learning to communicate in your family (and even outside it) effectively to avoid intentional hurt and to know your self worth, to be able to stand in your truth are valuable messages.

This was not a bad story, I enjoyed it. I just think if some things were tweaked, it could have been even better and would have elevated to another level. This was a debut novel and I think the focus was on too many things at one, the proverbial kitchen sink concept, I think if the focus was on just a few of the things, it would have really taken this story to another level. I would give this author another shot as I believe the bones are there and with some nurturing, greatness could ensue. I would recommend this to other readers as a family drama/contemporary romance.

Wow. This was incredible.

This book is about a Jewish trans man who moves into a new apartment and after getting furloughed from his job he ends up going back to work at his family's funeral home for a while. Oh and he can see ghosts.

When he moves into his new apartment he runs into the very attractive man with nice Jewish boy energy and then he runs into a ghost. Turns out that ghost is the very attractive man's dead husband.

I really really loved this book and I think it is mostly because of the balancing act that the author plays the entire time. I honestly cannot believe this is a debut. This book manages to juggle family drama, found family and friendships, romance, personal hang-ups, and paranormal ghost seeing. I'd go so far to say it's this book might be perfect. I don't think I have a single complaint.

I would classify this as a mostly closed door romance. There is one explicit scene that's kind of drawn out but everything else is just alluded to. It is a romance but it's also a complex story that weaves so many elements together and I am just really impressed by the whole thing. 10 out of 10 recommend.

Bi trans MC, trans woman best friend, asexual secondary, many queer secondary characters

Thank you to the publisher for this ARC. This one wasn't right me or my the right fit for my mood reading.

Book Review: Rules for Ghosting by Shelly Jay Shore
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫
Genre: Romance
Book # for 2025: #17

SYNOPSIS: Ezra is Jewish and a trans man. His family owns a funeral home specifically for the Jewish community. A series of unfortunate events leads Ezra to begin working at the funeral home. This is unfortunate because Ezra sees ghosts. In particular, he sees the ghost of his current love interest Jonathan’s dead husband.

MY THOUGHTS: This book was great! I enjoyed it so much. There was quite a bit in here about Jewish burial customs, which was very interesting to me!

Pacing was a little off at points, but overall, a very enjoyable read! Will revisit around Halloween time.

It had potential in being a good read. However, I did not enjoy the weird pacing throughout the story. I felt a bit confused at first.

First off thank you to the publisher and netgalley for the opportunity to read and review this book. I really enjoyed this from beginning to end. The rules for ghosting made sense throughout the book in a few different meanings. I loved the characters and the sibling relationships with eachother. My favorite character was Jonathan he was such a sweet soul and deserves the world. I love how there was talk about lgbtq plus matters and mental health within the book as well.

This was an absolutely beautiful read. The characters were rich and faceted, the plot was interesting and fresh. I enjoyed every moment!

I am reviewing a bit late and it has been a while since I finished the book, but I absolutely loved this story and the romance was HOT. I will absolutely be re-reading for the next halloween season

Am I glad I read it? I am, frankly, kicking myself for procrastinating it so long.

Back in May I shared [on my Booksta account] a post titled “The Joy of Being Earnest,” in which I proffered a collection of books I love that take sincerity seriously and reflect the bravery of queer earnestness. These are books that are openly, warmly sincere in how they treat their characters and what they give to their readers.

Fellow readers, I add RULES FOR GHOSTING to that list.

It’s a wonderfully layered novel, not so much heavy as it is weighty, full of hurt and also chances for forgiveness and healing. About feeling distant and different and hard to love, only to be shown so so much of it. About forming your personhood around taking care of others, only to learn that you don’t need to do penance for needing to be loved.

And it’s a debut?? Cue the applause.

(It doesn’t hurt that this book is written in 3rd person present tense, which I LOVE in a romance.)

Rating: 💜 (loved)

Thank you to Ballentine Books/Dell & Netgalley for the advance copy of this title, which has been out for months now but that’s not the point!

Ezra Friedman grew up in a funeral home. This comes with its set of complications, especially when his grandfather dies and becomes a ghost Ezra can see and interact with.

From that start I thought the ghosts were going to be more prevalent in the plot, but maybe that's because I like that kind of thing... live action version of Casper... etc. Anyway, so that was a small disappointment, but overall the characters were all tangled together nicely. It was a pleasant read, but lacked the depth I feel most early reviews claimed it had.

A charming and heartfelt novel that combines paranormal romance with a touching family drama, with the setting of a Jewish funeral home. The writing is sharp and engaging with a great balance of humor and emotion.
Many thanks to Random House and to Netgalley for providing me with a galley in exchange for my honest opinion.

I loved this cover, one of my favorites from 2024's releases, but it really doesn't do a good job at representing the story at all. Looking at this I expected something a bit more fun and lighthearted, but this was not that story. Shore has served us a super-sized meal in this story but the characters were only meant to carry a medium, so we have a lot of plot lines that overflow and end up cold and disregarded. I loved that there was strong LGBT+ representation, and the Jewish angle was well presented and informative, but overall it was too much. That said, Shore has the ability to tell a good story, and I hope to hear more, just maybe a bit more red pen next time around.

My thanks to Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine/Dell, the author, and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Read 10/10/24

I'm starting to think goodreads is deleting my re news because I remember writing a full panty review for this book. Oh well. This was NOT what I was expecting from the title/cover. I wanted something a tad darker but still with all the same elements it gave. I liked the story but it was literally just a queer romance with some ghosts thrown in. Was definitely hoping for more ghosts/creepier stuff happening.

(I got an ARC of this from NetGalley, but it’s out now!) I really loved this story – it has really great queer rep, found family, romance, and ghosts, but the non-scary kind. Ezra’s family owns a funeral home, and he can see ghosts, which isn’t quite the ideal combination, and is why he tried to get as far away from the family business as soon as he was able. But after some family drama a la Grace and Frankie, Ezra agrees to step in and help fill in for his mother now that she’s no longer working there. But while there, Ezra meets a ghost who just happens to have been the husband of his cute new neighbor… a ghost who keeps breaking all the “rules” that Ezra come to understand the ghosts always follow. I learned a lot about Jewish funeral and mourning rituals while reading this, which I loved. I thought it also handled death and grieving and life in a really beautiful way.

Oh my god!! This was easily one of the best books I read all year! I absolutely loved it. It had me kicking my feet and laughing one second and sobbing the next. This author is now an auto buy author for me

I was excited to read this book based on the cover and description, however, I ultimately DNF'd at 20%. I had a hard time connecting with the characters and the story felt much heavier than the expectation I had. I did appreciate the queer and Jewish representation in the story, though.

Rules For Ghosting will pull at all of your heartstrings in the best way. The characters are very well written and memorable and you can feel their emotions like they are your own. This is a book I will be thinking of for a long time. I can’t wait to read what this author writes next!

This was a sweet and tender love story! I really enjoyed how Jewish traditions were portrayed in this, and Ezra's character. I also really liked the found family element.