This book not only dealt with the traditional sense of grief, that found with death and dying, but also grief found in the loss of purpose, the loss of familiarity, the loss of a marriage, the loss of one’s self. A heartwarming and tearjerking book crafted to mend the hearts of any of us in the LGBTQ+ family that ever felt a little on the outside.

4.5⭐️
I can’t believe this was a debut novel.
A bisexual trans Jewish man who could see ghosts!
A ghost who keeps popping up and making him deal with feelings!
A mother who runs off with the rabbi’s wife!
A widower neighbor who is dealing with the death of his husband!
Every single character in this book was great, even the side characters.
I always love reading about different cultures and heritage and this book was full of it!
Also learning about all the different Jewish customs and traditions was really cool.
Thank you to Netgalley and random house publishing group for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Thank you so much Random House and Netgalley, I really felt this book.
I went into this think there would be more of a paranormal but got a beautiful story of grief and loss and the power of love. And also letting go.

This was immediately captivating and charming. I will say anyone who is looking to this for a full on paranormal story will probably be disappointed. This is mostly a tale of loss, family, and love that just also happens to have some ghosts in it.

I really enjoyed our MC, Ezra, along with his almost too perfect love interest, Jonathan. Ezra's family and friend dynamics were also adorable and real. You could feel the affection and warmth through the pages. There's also plenty of drama and humor through out.

Shout out to our ghostly dead husband Ben as well. He was lovely and just wanted his former husband to be happy.

My last favorite thing about this book, as a non Jewish person, was learning more about Jewish customs and holidays.

Thank you to Random House Publishing Group/Ballantine and NetGalley, for this eARC in exchange for an honest review.

I was initially drawn to this story as it was compared to The Dead Romantics, and while there are similarities this one didn’t grab me in the same way. While the writing is excellent, vibrant and witty with each character feeling and sounding distinct to themselves, and the plot has all the elements to it that come together for a great set up, it felt like it took too much time for the main story to really get going and by the time it did I had already lost interest. The characters are fine, but there wasn’t anyone I really felt a connection to or really wanted to know more about. Again, I think the writing is done very well, it was just the story itself that I ended up not liking and any time I put the book down there wasn’t much to it to make me want to pick it back up again.

Thank you NetGalley and publisher for this ARC!

What a good book! It did take me a few chapter to get in to it but I am glad I stuck it out because it ended up being a really good book. I recommend.

Beautifully written, but honestly just too dark and sad for me. I would recommend this for readers who enjoy queer contemporary romance with a touch of the paranormal that deals heavily with grief and death.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the arc! Opinions are my own.

When I first started this book, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but as I moved forward in it, I felt myself completely and absolutely attached to my own book found family (is that a thing? I’m saying yes since there are book boyfriends, there can be book found family!) This book was really a lot of fun and I enjoyed the supernatural vibes and would definitely recommend this book to others!

I’ll be honest, at first, I didn’t love this book. I didn’t find the characters relatable, and thought the story was slow-paced. But, as I continued to read I did find the book enjoyable. It was remiscient of Six Feet Under, but with a modern twist.

Thanks to Netgalley for the opportunity to read an advance copy!

Rules for Ghosting was a read that really taught me about the complexities of your birth family and your chosen family. There were strong themes of sel-confidence, grief, and family dynamics.

I loved the representation of Ezra our main character. This was my first read featuring an FTM trans character and the body identity that comes with that was portrayed honestly and openly. I really appreciated that his family accepts him as their son and genders him correctly as I’d assume in traditionally very religious households parents might not and that would be even more difficult to navigate Ezra’s own feelings.


The inclusion of the ghost sightings provided some comical relief when needed and also lended to a big part of the story with him seeing his grandfather whom he was close with as well as his boyfriend’s dead husband that wanted his husband to be happy.

And back to the living world we all need a Jonathan, the patience and care he has for Ezra is top notch all while still navigating his own grief he never gives up on him.

It was a great book thanks for the ARC copy!

Found family (of all kinds) at its finest!

Add in some spirits and a family business in danger, and you've got a great read!

"Being psychic is more trouble than it's worth ... He thinks that some part of him knew, even as a child, that this would be one confession too many. He was queer when he was fourteen, a boy when he was twenty - adding 'oh and I see dead people' and 'did you know there are ghosts everywhere?' would just be too much."

I absolutely adore Ezra. But it's his collection of random of LGBTQIA+ friends and extended family of all sorts that really make this book something special.

Embrace others for who they are, and embrace yourself for who you are. Ezra needs this reminder; Ezra's family units need this reminder; and as readers, so do we.

"He knows all about avoidance, has turned not talking about his feelings into an art, but he's never been able to watch it in someone else."

In some ways, these characters remind me of Blue & her Raven Boys, in such a food and comforting way, that I can see this feeling like a continuation of their story. Which is probably why this book feels so good to me.

"Just because people can survive without you doesn't mean they're okay."

A must-read, don't blame me if you too find yourself ugly-crying. Add to shelf immediately.

"No one sits shiva for living ghosts."

Chosen family, queer identity, grief, and love -- what is not to enjoy? I read this during the start of pride month and enjoyed every minute of it! Ezra Friedman has a lot going on in his life, including growing up in the family's Jewish funeral home, moving in with an ex-boyfriend, dealing with complex family relationships, navigating a new relationship, and dealing with the ghost of his neighbor. Sure, there are a lot of pieces to this novel, but I think they work together nicely. I really enjoyed seeing the supportive community that Ezra has, even if they all have their own problems going on behind the scenes, as well.
Overall, this was an excellent read. If I could, I would give it 4.5/5 stars. Also, I will echo a few other reviews: this is a remarkable debut! Going into the novel, I did not know this was a debut author, nor could I tell that through the writing. I will gladly recommend this title to a number of our patrons and I look forward to its release date.

In “Rules for Ghosting” by Shelly Jay Shore, Ezra Friedman, who sees ghosts and grew up in a funeral home, tries to escape his family’s judgment and his supernatural abilities. However, after losing his dream job and returning home to help save the family business, Ezra navigates family chaos, a crush on the funeral home volunteer Jonathan, and the disruptive ghost of Jonathan’s late husband, Ben, discovering new ways to deal with both the dead and the living.

I wasn’t sure what to expect going in to this. What it turns out this is essentially a family drama about a family where the family dynamics are shaken up, and how that affects the family business, and the individual members of the family as well. It all is beautifully told.

I love Ezra and his journey through a very tumultuous time in his life. His arc is incredible. All the side characters are fantastic as well. There’s one joke Ezra’s sister makes in particular that will have me randomly laugh-snorting for months, at least.

There’s one line in particular that should be the tagline for this book, because it perfectly sums up everything about this better than I could ever. “No one sits shiva for living ghosts.” It honestly kind of fucks me up that I’ve spent all this time, all these words describing this book when everything and more than I could ever say about this book the author put in to those 7 words.

If I have one criticism of this, it’s that this almost - almost, but not quite - feels like it could have been two different books: Ezra, the doula who is seeing the ghost of his current crush’s dead husband, and the story of the Friedman family funeral home. That being said, the two plot lines each add complexities to the other that do a decent job of tying everything together and making everything relevant to everything else. (I have one or two worldbuilding snaggles about things the book expects you to take at face value, but not anything significant enough to really detract from the book.)

So anyways, this was fantastic. If you want drama about a family-owned funeral home and a trans MC who sees ghosts, it’s this. This is the one.

Thanks to NG and the publisher for a copy of this ebook.

I really wanted to enjoy this book but I felt as if I was dragging myself through mud trying to finish it. I'm sure others would enjoy it, but not me.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ I have been slacking on my ARC reviews lately, but here we go! This book had me feeling all the feels. Not only does the main character have his own dilemma, but the family dynamics are wild. I did enjoy watching the three siblings interact. As adults they still all played the same roles designated to them as kids. You see the change when their mom moves out and in with her girlfriend and they start to grow and fill in the gaps in their lifelong relationships. I could relate because I often see my sister and myself as the same as when we were little, but in reality we’ve both grown and changed so much as we grew up. The main characters relationship is so heartbreaking and emotional while at the same time being so pure. It really highlights how grief over death and grief over trauma can really effect a person and how they react in relationships. Throw in a funeral home and talking ghosts of husband’s pass and this book is near perfect! Make sure to grab a copy when it’s released on August 20th! You won’t regret it! 👻

Rules for Ghosting is a unique, heartfelt story with a supernatural twist. It's a wonderful book for anyone looking for love after loss, returning home again, or recovering from people pleasing. I like that it features a trans character but well into their transition rather than in the self discovery phase. I also like that Judaism was central to the story, but like Ezra being trans, it wasn't the main focus; rather it was a subtle element. The author focused too long on certain scenes in my opinion, and the ending took a very long time to wrap up.

Where do I even start? This novel was mismarked. I thought this would be similar to The Dead Romantics, and I was extremely excited for it. Then it was a dumpster fire. There was no plot, and while I can do character driven stories. The way this was written makes you confused on who is talking and whose perspective we are seeing which is hard to follow due to having an extent number of characters. I fell the representation of the LGBTQ+ community was insincere more like oh here is this character to hit everyone in the community without building any depth into them. I did enjoy that I learn some customs in the Jewish community. The setting could have been built better because it had so much potential. I did enjoy the small text conversations and actual picture of a real dog. This will go on Fable, GoodReads and Lemon8 on Jun 9, 2023 @1030

I didn’t know I was looking for this book until I found it. Ezra is such a complex and comforting character and his presence really takes on what it means to be trans within your family. I love the way that the author takes on grief and love as two sides of the same coin.

This book will live rent free in my head forever. Because of the story it told. And the beautiful, careful way it told it. I even brought out my *full size* keyboard to write this review. So you know it's serious. Additionally, I received an ARC free from NetGalley in exchange for my review. This in no way impacts my review nor my decision to use Full Keyboard. My thoughts are my own.

This book is for the eldest daughter: Defined in a way that transcends gender identity - including anyone, regardless of gender, holding the position and title of Eldest Daughter. This story is about being queer in a Jewish religious space that defines so much by gender. It's about the death of assumed family realities and about literal death, too soon and raw. About finding love and finding pain and learning that you're worth loving because you're you, not because you solved a problem or held the world together in your bleeding Eldest Daughter hands.

Eldest Daughters: This book sees you. That part of your heart (soul) that you don't let the rest of the world into (because it's your job to take care of everyone else, of course). Be ready to cry. And nod in agreement. And drop your kindle because you're trying to highlight something in (somehow) a deeper darker highlight than could exist because it's perhaps not appropriate to mumble *yep YEP ME!!* in a public place. Be prepared to lay your heart out and get it back in some format that you aren't sure if it's ok, but it's definitely better for taking this ride.

To the Friends and Loves of folks who are Eldest Daughters: Come learn. About how we feel. Because I've read a lot of books with Eldest Daughter characters. And they've never explained the *rawness* of the feeling in a way such as this beautiful story.

While my review first focused on the Eldest Daughter, this book is so much - SO MUCH - more.

This book is about being queer - In so many different (beautiful) ways. Including being trans - and of how that impacts Eldest Daughters. And Siblings. And Families. And the beauty. And love. And the back of the head feelings. And Sex. And the body dysmorphia.

It also addressees queerness specially in the context of the Jewish religion - and in spaces of Death - where gender plays a major role in rituals. This is done with such beautiful careful love in the story. Not being particularly religious, I learned so much about the traditions and customs, in a way that never felt like someone was trying to convince me of their religion. They were simply informing me of the rituals. This book presented the religious information in a mater of fact, but also easily understandable way.

This story is for anyone in the queer space looking to feel seen. For anyone looking to learn more about what navigating the queer space feels like, especially in religious context. For anyone in any who is, or is in contact with an eldest daughter - regardless of their gender.

Come. (Cry). Walk away in some way more broken. In some way more whole.

(4.75/5) I adored this book. There were fully developed characters, satisfying plot resolutions, fascinating twists, and a very clear amount of thought put into every detail. All of the careers and identities in this book were handled with care and accessible to those who’ve never heard of them before. I absolutely devoured this book- it was so easy to read.