I feel like there is a lot going on in this book but not in a bad way. It’s in a “I don’t know where to start describing this book” way. You have a trans MMC who can see ghosts, a family run mortuary, LGBTQ rep, a coming out story, loss of a spouse, family and business drama, and of course a love story (or two).

The fact that the MC was able to see ghost took a back seat to the relationships in this book. It showed the complexity of those relationships. I loved how close the siblings are. And absolutely loved that our MC had so much support from friends and family. I also may have cried at a part with some of the LGBTQ rep.

I was also kind of here for the drama. I told you there’s a lot going on. It’s a good balance of crazy drama and heartwarming moments.

I was pleasantly surprised that I was able to learn about Jewish holidays and death rites. Maybe it’s just because I’m not Jewish but a lot of the holidays and rites I was not familiar with. I also loved how respectful the characters were regarding death.

I received a free e-arc of this book through Netgalley.
This book has a lot going on, but it wraps everything together neatly so it's not confusing or hard to follow along. Ezra, is a young adult who is not only transgender, but also sees ghosts. He also works as a birth doula (everything above the waist) and a yoga instructor. His family operates a funeral home which was a tough place for a teen who sees ghosts to be around. His family is also Jewish and there is a lot of homage to Jewish funeral rituals in this book which I was ignorant of, but interesting to read about. His family and friends are very accepting of him (although they don't know about the ghosts for much of the book). Things get even more complicated when he starts to fall for a guy whose dead ghost husband, Ben, starts to follow Ezra around and break all kinds of ghost rules. Ezra is a very likeable character who is dealing with a lot and hasn't really focused on his own needs for much of his life. It's great to read about his family and friends being supportive after they get past their own drama. We're all going through battles that other people know nothing about so be kind.

Shelly Jay Shore really hooked me with a trans man character, an unconventional haunting, and familial relationships. The novel explores Ezra's relationship with all different parts of his life that are deeply a part of queer culture including found family, mental health, coming out. And with all of this, there was still fun plot driving and quirky dialogue to keep me going.

The only reason I don't rate this as perfect is there were a few things I wish had been hashed out further, such as a funeral (no spoilers as Ezra's family just owns a funeral home) and a couple of side characters that seemed important to Ezra in the beginning but just got relegated to the periphery of the story.

Overall, though, it is very much worth the read and I was honored to be able to read it early. I will gladly add it to my bookshelf.

This was a cute read. It stars Ezra, our trans, anxiety-ridden protagonist as everything he knows about his life changes-including the ghosts he's been seeing since he was a child. As if seeing ghosts wasn't enough, one ghost decides to trail him around instead of following the same rules as all of the others. I was expecting the ghosts to have a much larger impact throughout the book, but their overall involvement worked well

Poor Ezra has to face so many obstacles within such a short time span that I'm surprised he didn't explode from everything he was trying to hold in. Between moving, family problems, job problems, and romantic problems, this guy is really having a rough go of life. But the handsome downstairs neighbor who keeps popping up presents a sense of hope for our poor protagonist. Too bad his new ghost friend is this neighbor's deceased husband.

Jonathan has his own bleak history, but he really pushes to work through his problems. As him and Ezra grow closer, you can see his devotion to everything he cares for and his unending patience for those he loves. As Ezra struggles to accept himself and his place in the world, Jonathan is a steady rock that allows for support without being toxic or overbearing.

This book was adorable. I would definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a light-hearted queer romance with just a dash of paranormal aspects.


Goodreads review is live.

This book was marked as romance and LGBTQ+ so I was in. I like going into books blind and did it with that and totally regretted it.

I had no idea I was in for so much twist and turns. There was so much more than romance in it than I expected--a failing family business, a broken marriage, a cheating mom, a widower, ghosts, a fire and MORE. This book had so much going on and when I thought it was about to pick up for me, it did not.

Unfortunately, it felt overwritten for me. I do understand that readers want to get to know characters well to understand and can empathize with them more but I think this book overdid it in that aspect. Some parts of it as did not feel relevant to me in the end.

I’m learning that this is a debut novel for this author and quite frankly, I’m kind of stunned because it was extremely well written and covered so many things that I throughly enjoyed it. Not only did this book make me want to cackle when we got to the first dinner that I had to refrain as I was in an office setting, but it made me want to cry at some parts too. It’s funny, serious, lighthearted, meaningful, and deep.

Ezra is still trying to find themselves as they navigate ghosts, family relationships, new friends, and an ex in their life. I think learning and growth are major themes in this book and I was there being called out on some things myself. I believe that this is a great book but also was great with queer representation. I love Becca, Jonathan, Aaron, Nina, and most importantly Ben. Ben was the true calling card of figuring things out and learning from them.

Also side note, no idea why I somehow thought this was going to be set in the 1800s-early 1900s from the description in the email I got from NetGalley. I was taken for a loop when I read British Bake Off and was pleasantly surprised. XD

I received an eARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Wow, what a beautiful, dark, and emotional story! Love the slow and gentle relationship of Ezra, a trans man who can see ghosts, and Jonathan, a widowed gay man, amid all of the emotional complexities of working at a funeral home.

I love how layered this story is: Ezra’s family owns a funeral home, Ezra has been able to see ghosts his whole life, he meets and starts falling for Jonathan whose husband died, and said husband Ben is haunting Ezra’s new apartment. All of this is mentioned in the first few chapters and sucked me in right from the get-go. But what really made me love this story right from the beginning was Ezra himself: he’s kind and selfless and caring and wants what’s best for everyone around him while always emotionally neglecting himself.

Even though I’m Jewish, I learned so much about Jewish funerals and the cleansing rituals. The part where Ezra does the tahara (cleansing of the body) is enlightening and emotional. Even when you’ve lost someone it’s not a part of the funeral rites that you would see so it felt special to be a part of it through Ezra’s eyes.

Overall I loved this book: the romance, the siblings, the friendships, the being able to see ghosts, the ins and outs of having your family own a funeral home, and I even loved how this book emotionally wrecked me over and over!

I absolutely loved everything about this book. It's was so well written and heart-felt!

I adored Ezra. His struggles with his self-worth, self-esteem and anxiety hit a bit too close to home in some scenes but that made him so much more relatable and likeable. Jonathan was just such a sweetie pie and I loved watching their relationship grow. The dynamic between Ezra and his friends and Ezra and his family just really made this book something special.

Added bonus for adorable pit mix, Sappho! She's such a good girl!

It's hard to believe that this is a debut and I can't wait to read more from Shelley Jay Shore! This is a must read!

*Thank you to NetGalley and Random House for letting me read this early!*

This book was uncomfortably relatable in regards to Ezra being the middle child in a family of three and the "first-born daughter." I relate so deeply with his struggles of anxiety and feeling like he is the only one capable of managing problems within his family, I almost felt targeted. It was nice to watch him be able to work on that and take a step back from all the responsibilities that he found himself taking on. I am not Jewish or a transman, so I am sure that some of his experiences must be influenced by those identities and I am able to acknowledge that I won't be able to relate to him completely.

I loved the way that grief was handles and the involvement of ghosts, and it was nice to see how Jon and Ezra became close and developed an understanding with each other. Other than that, I don't have much to say. This was a really enjoyable read and I'm sure there are a lot of people who can connect with different aspects of the book.

✨ARC review✨

I think it’s going to be hard for me to describe what reading Rules for Ghosting meant for me. Ever since I figured out how to think for myself many years ago, I have been fully-invested in the idea that a person knows who they are better than anyone else and it’s no one else’s business to try to disabuse them of this.

This has never been more top-of-mind than the last few years as more and more people are feeling confident enough in who they are to come out as transgender. It’s a brave and freeing thing to do, I think.

In Rules for Ghosting, one of our protagonists is a trans man named Ezra and his love interest is a widower, Jonathan. This story is complex, romantic, often funny, and handled in a delicate manner.

Ezra has been able to see ghosts since he was a child, but has never told his family who happens to run a Jewish funeral home. He’s been avoiding the funeral home for years, but has to go back to help the family out. During this family crisis, he also meets his neighbor and funeral home volunteer, Jonathan. He’s immediately attracted to him and also immediately starts seeing the ghost of Jonathan’s husband. Awkward! But also sweet.

I love this novel about familial love and forgiveness, self-love and acceptance, found family and support and yes, there are ghosts- a couple of persistent ones. ❤️

#romance #contemporaryromance #contemporaryfiction #lgbtqia+ #transrepresentation #birepresentation #gayromance #happypride #netgalley

this book is a third person POV about a guy who's trying to navigate being able to see dead people and dealing with the chaos around family. i LOVED the queer and trans representation here! i feel like queer representation in books is found far and few compared to others. it's more common to find queer characters be a side cast rather than the main character, and i think that needs to change. but this has, not only a queer main character, but a whole cast of them. and i think it's beautiful.

my only issue with this is how the writing style felt a bit... overwhelming? for me. there was either too much or too little going on to keep me immersed in the story. the author really made an attempt to paint a picture for the scenes, leading to a lot of details before getting to the point of what is happening in that moment. which i will say is absolutely not a bad thing. but it made the story go by really slow at times. i admit i may have skimmed through some parts because i was less interested in the microexpressions and wanted to see what happens next. let me reiterate that the story and plot is actually really good. i guess i just needed the story to keep going and not have to stop for a whole page and a half of descriptions and inner thoughts.

i wanted to rate this more than a 3. but i know there are others who will enjoy this more than me, so i will definitely recommend this!

thank you to NetGalley for allowing me to read this book. i received this as an ARC and leave this review voluntarily.

Very queer, very Jewish, very haunted read. Unfortunately I DNF around 20%

I was hoping for a spooky book which this was but there were many side stories that I was just not into.

Ezra's life is messy. They are trans, in the process of transitioning and the drama surrounding them

Jewish practices for the dead were interwoven into the story but the author is very anti-Israel which is confusing why they are so into customs but don't support Israel.

The best character was the dog.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing an e-copy on this novel!

I thought this book was alright. I was really enjoying it at the beginning, but the more I read, the less I started to like it. I just felt like the story dragged on a bit. Also, there are a handful of different plot points and conflicts in this book. That in itself isn't a bad thing, but many of these plot points felt underdeveloped. The ghost plot point is honestly barely there. The supernatural aspects are on the back burner. There would be chapters and chapters between ghost sightings and interactions. The ghost portions aren't necessarily bad, but if you are picking this up because of the ghosts, you will be very disappointed. There is also a side plot of Ezra having to move into a new place. I think this was added to give Ezra a "found family," but it just did not work. All the friend characters felt the same and were basically just there to give witty banter every once in a while. As for the romance, I liked it a lot at the beginning, but started to like it less and less as the book went on. I don't know why this is, I just wasn't vibing with it. The part of the story that felt the most developed was the family drama. The majority of this book was dedicated to Friedman family dynamics. How the family interacts with one another and how those interactions have shaped them all as people, for better or for worse.
I think this book's main issue is going to be the marketing. If you are expecting a paranormal romance you will be very disappointed. However, if you are looking for a family drama with a little romance on the side (along with a couple ghosts here and there) I think you'll enjoy it.

This book was amazing and I devoured this book in just a few sittings! I loved the character development and how the story progressed.

This was really good! Because of the wild, drama-filled plot I think I was expecting more of an action-filled story but was pleasantly surprised that it had depth. The character development was really good. I always think it's a good sign when I find myself thinking through my own analysis of the characters beyond what the author has said (like the ways the Dad is like Ezra, quietly taking care of everyone, or how Aaron is such an oldest child). I also love when characters in books are Jewish and it's just described like an integral part of their lives, not like a token stereotype.

I apologize, but I was unable to finish reading and ended up DNF. This was not a book type that I am interested in.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for this ARC in exchange for my honest review!

I knew from reading the synopsis this was going to be a 5 star read. It had everything I love. When I finished, I was so glad I was right. This is such a charming and heartwarming book. I was surprised how funny it was as well.

Ezra was a complicated character, and I went back and forth on him. I could understand his motivations and there was so much going on in his life I couldn’t blame him 100% but also Jonathan was like the sweetest and nicest person ever and he kept threatening to screw it up.

There was so much rich Jewish customs and traditions that I had to look so many things up. I learned a lot and I appreciated learning about Jewish practices for the dead because I didn’t even know what other religions did really. It was such a refreshing read. Also learning about the holidays they had was a lot of fun. Ezra’s family was so MESSY and I loved seeing the drama honestly. But he was also so amazing to his siblings. Middle child syndrome was strong but Ezra was the rock keeping them together. The found family here was also amazing because Ollie and his friends were such gems. They didn’t hesitate to listen and help Ezra and I love to see it. Also I loved Sappho she was so cute!

There’s so much here about death and life. About being loved and giving love in return. Ghosts are full of regrets but you can still grieve and find peace in others. This was so tender and full of love and I appreciated this read a lot.

I recently finished reading "Rules Of Ghosting," and I must say, it was quite a journey to push myself to the end. Based on the blurb, I was expecting a paranormal read, but the actual content diverged significantly from my expectations.

Ezra's life, already complicated by his secret ability to see dead people, takes a turn for the worse at his family's Seder. With the family funeral home business hanging by a thread and a budding romance he didn't see coming, Ezra is left to navigate the chaos left by his family's drama.

The premise of this book was intriguing, but it ultimately fell flat for me. The excerpt I read beforehand suggested a strong focus on Ezra's encounters with the dead at the funeral home. However, the narrative leaned heavily towards the intricate family drama dominating his life. While themes of identity and family were well-handled and poignant, they overshadowed the paranormal aspects that initially drew me in.

The world-building and exposition were slow, making it difficult to stay engaged after the first exciting ghost encounter. The book's pace picked up eventually, but by then, it was clear that the paranormal elements were not the main focus. Ezra's journey as a trans male in a Jewish family was richly depicted and adds significant depth to the story, offering a powerful narrative for the intended audience.

However, my main expectation was to delve into a story about someone interacting with ghosts, which led to my disappointment. Ezra's character, dealing with a broken family and reluctant involvement in the funeral home business, provided a lot of ups and downs. Despite the good writing and steady story progression, I found it hard to connect with him. Admittedly, I am not the target audience, which might explain my disconnection.

In conclusion, "Rules Of Ghosting" is not a bad story; it just wasn't for me. The balance between family drama and light paranormal activity didn't meet my initial expectations. However, for those interested in a heartfelt exploration of identity and family dynamics with a sprinkle of the supernatural, this book could be a great fit.

Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher and author for this ARC.

I really enjoyed this - especially the parts about Ezra's doula work and the different rituals at the funeral home. I wish we had seen a bit more of Ezra and Jonathan falling in love, but overall, this was a really good book.

I love this book so much! The only thing I did not love was the title of the book…which is kind of a bizarre thing to say…when I first read the title and the description I was thinking this book was going to be more about ghosts than it really was. However, overall I loved this book and I felt like I learned so much about the Jewish faith that I didn’t previously know.

There were a few times where this book seemed to drag a little bit, but overall a solid 4/5